when grace goes deep in a ransomed heart

What's is a name? CRIMSON2810

2011-09-29T02:47:00.000+08:00

Rewind: 8 years ago, I officially started using this email address. I can't exactly remember why CRIMSON, just that I was somehow attracted to the word and later on grew to know that it was a color- a shade of red- blood red. It made no sense at that time, but the name- crimson, just stuck. and I had no intention to use any other.

Fast-forward: 8 years later, at 25. I finally found that it was a name of destiny. After Ps Lian's message on Sunday, unfortunately I was only able to take back one main point with me- that was the real meaning of the word 'Crimson'. It was so profound that it reminded me how God was attracting me to Him, He wanted to reveal more of Himself to me, even when I had no intention to. and He did so, by hiding it in a name, so as to reveal it to kings.

Here's the story of a Crimson or Scarlet worm- that died giving birth to its offspring.

Look at the 22nd Psalm. This is the great Psalm of the crucifixion of Christ written 1,000 years before it was fulfilled. It describes in great detail the sufferings of Christ on the cross. "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" he cries out. Then down in verse 6...he says "But I am a worm (08438), and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people." What did he mean by saying "I am a worm"?...This particular worm is different from other kinds of worms.
and “… though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” (Is 1:18)
There is a fascinating story behind this little worm, which will explain the profound meaning of this verse. When the life of the female coccus ilicis, (or scarlet worm) is nearing it’s end, she climbs a tree and attaches her body to it, fixing herself so firmly and permanently, she virtually impales herself on the tree, and never leaves again. Just before she dies, her eggs hatch and she gives birth to her young. The eggs deposited beneath her body are now protected from predators. Then, after the larvae hatch they are able to enter their own life cycle. As the mother dies, crimson fluid from within her body, stains her own body and the surrounding wood she is attached to. She makes the ultimate sacrifice: because of her own death, her offspring are given new life. From the crushed, dried dead bodies of such female scarlet worms, the scarlet dye is extracted and used to dye wool red. This dye is referred to in the Bible as simply “scarlet” (the color), or, “crimson” (the worm).
Psalm 22:6 speaks of Christ when it says, “But I am a worm, and not a man, A reproach of men, and despised by the people” The word “worm” in this verse, is also “towla” (the word “crimson”)… the worm;crimson, the color of blood. This verse is actually saying, “But I am ‘crimson’”, referring to the coccus ilicisand the blood of Jesus Christ that would be shed for us, as He was impaled on a tree, so that we might live.

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised [crushed] for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed… For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” (Is 53:5, Heb 9:13-14)The scarlet thread is also referred to in the book of Joshua, when Rahab the harlot, hung a “scarlet” thread from her window, which preserved her life from the Israelite invasion to come. “And she said, According unto your words, so be it. And she sent them away, and they departed: and she bound the scarlet line in the window.” (Josh 2:21 Here, the scarlet thread that had been dyed using the scarlet worm’s body, is used to identify the home of Rahab, who befriended the Israeli spies, and it spared her life and her family from destruction. In the same way, we are chosen and identified by God, through the blood of Jesus Christ that washed our sins away. Is your scarlet thread hanging from your life and boldly declaring for all to see that you identify with Jesus Christ?

By the way, did you know that in Latin, the word, “ilicis“, literally means…. “it is finished“. I wouldn’t have believed it, unless I looked it up.So, I hope, when you see red wool coats this winter, it’ll remind you of the wool of the little lamb and the little worm, “coccus ilicis”.

And thus, this continues to remind and amaze me every time I type in my e-mail or user name into an account. That the crimson Lord's crimson colored blood washes my own crimson colored sin white as snow. It is only Christ's crimson blood that can was yours white. No other. Nothing but the blood of Jesus!

isn't it just like the Lord to use the smallest things- a dead worm- to conform the mighty?

Give Jesus the glory!

a post to remember: about dreams

2011-09-13T18:52:00.002+08:00

just cutting and pasting Jaeson ma's post that made so much sense to me today, to be remembered as long as i live.

I have dreams that I want to achieve, more so, I have things within me that I know must be actualized. All of us have dreams, but dreams can’t become a reality unless we actually do something with what we have. We may have a lot or a little, it doesn’t matter how much, what matters is what we do with what has been given. We are each responsible for doing the best with what God has given to each of us, this is called stewardship. It is recognizing that life is a gift, everything that we are given is a treasure, and we are to be careful to not waste, but to make haste with what has been given and do something useful with it. For me, this can be really difficult, because to focus on what I’m called to do requires me to say no to what I am not called to do. Good is the enemy of great. Useful is the enemy of fruitful. Busyness is the enemy of passion. Activity is the enemy of excellence. There is so much I need to do, but there is also one thing I should do. Walk with God and be myself. Not be everything for everybody else. So I can’t apologize if I can’t respond to every email, return every phone call, meet up for another coffee, because some things need to wait, until I can become my best, I can’t actually be my best for you. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love others truly. We get sidetracked at times, but it is never too late to get back on track and do what is necessary by ridding ourselves of the unnecessary. Sooner or later, we will get there, but it is all one day at a time, one step at a time.
Be silent. Take a deep breath. Clear you mind. Know what is important. Deny the urgent. Focus on your purpose. Decide. Work with all your heart. Leave behind something worthwhile. Envision the end, but take it one step at a time.

From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center!
It's all about You! Yes, its all about You!

2011-08-28T10:02:00.004+08:00

If I never saw the desires of my heart fulfilled, if I never got those things in life that I really wanted, if things never did turn out the way I would like to have planned, if my hopes and dreams were never realized, I would be okay.

Not because I wanted to be defeated, but just because indeed.. just knowing God, and having a restored relationship with Him was more than enough.

My dreams and desires will be fulfilled anyway, because THATS how He loves me!

Your monthly food

2011-05-19T01:31:00.000+08:00

This post was intended to feed my blog and for making sure it doesnt starve. This is my first time in 7 years- since the birth of this blog that I attempted to change the template. Looked weird at first, but i guess everyone deserves a change. Including my blog.

It has been a good 7 years ya. Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet towards a home-a land that I've never seen. Made of different stuff from when I began.

Sorry for abandoning you

2011-04-09T00:29:00.005+08:00

1stly, i would like to apologize to you- my blog for abandoning you. All i fed you the past 2 times was junk food, food full of well build make topless bodies, great choreography etc... the solids are still yet to come.

life in SG is .... blessed. on most days, i dont really feel that way, but God that eveyday is dripping with abundance. Let your mind run wild on what are the possible things i can get.
For now.. heres some more junk =P

Fill in the blanks
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? - Closed
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? - Nope
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? – Out. I don't like the cold
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? – No. But i helped somedone steal it =P
5. Do you like to use post-it notes? - Yes. I used to live on them.
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? - Yes
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? – Im terrified by bees. So i dont mind a bear.
8. Do you have freckles? - No, i have blemishes =.=
9. Do you always smile for pictures? – 9 out of 10 times
10. What is your biggest pet peeve? - takda kot~
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? - No laa nthg better to do? When God says go i just GO.
12. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? - No
13. Do you chew your pens and pencils? – No.. i prefer real food.
14. How many people have you slept with this week? - None, no sharing till the time is right, with the right person, with a legal marriage cert.
15. What size is your bed? – Single
16. What is your Song of the week? - CNBlue Im A Loner
17. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? - Depends on which guy wears it.
18. Do you still watch cartoons? – I wish i could. But no.
19. What’s your least favorite movie? - Storm Warriors remake by Aaron Kwok and Ekin Cheng.
20. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? - Under my bed.
21. What do you drink with dinner? - Water? ICe Lemon tea =)?
22. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? – Nothing, i like it as it is. I help Mcds save on their sauces.
23. What is your favorite food? – Katong Laksa!
24. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? – Madagascar
25. Last person you kissed/kissed you? – You know i know la ;)
26. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? – Yes!
26. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? - No. I think its cheap.
27. Can you change the oil on a car? - No. Thats why i have a boyrfriend ;)
28. Favorite kind of sandwich? – Smoked salmon
29. Best thing to eat for breakfast? – Half Boiled Eggs, butter toast, kopi!
30. What is your usual bedtime? – 12.30am-ish
31. Are you lazy? - Yes. I try not to be too much.
32. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? – I couldnt be bothered about halloween. i had an important birthday to celebrate.
33. How many languages can you speak? – 4
34. Which are better legos or lincoln logs? - Legos!
35. Who is better...Leno or Letterman? - I don't watch either of them.
36. Ever watch soap operas? – Yes!
37. Dance in the shower? - Nope
38. Do you think musicals are cheesy? – No
39. Is Christmas stressful? - NO. are you kidding? Christ was born to take your stress.
40. Ever eat a pierogi? - whats that?
41. Favorite type of fruit pie? – Rasberry pie
42. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? – Vetinarian
43. Take a vitamin daily? - Yes
44. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? - None. I prefer Carrefour
45. Cheetos Or Fritos? – Cheetos
46. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? - No
47. Ever take dance lessons? - No chance
48. DJ or band, at a wedding? - Band! Definately!
49. Ever won a contest? – No..
50. Do you want to get married? - Of course!
52. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? – No
53. Do you want kids? – Yes. 3 i think..
54. Whats your favorite color? – Purple!
55. Do you miss anyone right now? – Yes.. :'(

More junk food!! Heartbeat by 2PM

2011-02-21T16:47:00.001+08:00

Perfect comfort food =P

2011-02-21T14:00:00.013+08:00

Hi dears.. has been super long since the last update. Im ashamed of my blog, but not of myself!!! Muahahahaha!!!

Will post more serious things later, but for now.. Here's all that i found after searching for Super Junior M's latest 太完美 or 'Perfection' MV. I miss them. Will miss them even more knowing that I cant go for their 19 March concert in Malaysia!!! So this MV is comfort food for me. Hope you enjoy it as much as me! =P

a real quick quicky =)

2010-10-23T10:44:00.013+08:00

Hi world,

you would have taught i vanished from the face of the blog world. but i was actually a silent observer. peeking into people's blog, sniffing out the happenings in peoples lives here and there.

truthfully, i've been going through tough emotional times. (seriously, the pix above is just to amuse myself). times when you felt so much that you never knew you could feel so much in your entire life. times when a part of you' is temporarily removed and flew 100s of miles away. i couldnt help but to just feel... well.. empty. (i never thought i would be saying this also so dont ;S me). well i'll summarize everything here, to be true to the title of this blog.

1. All glory, all Honour to God who has carried me throughout the past 3 years. Thank God for my degree results. Sticking the piece of paper with 'CGPA > 3.5' DID pay off!

the stressful time balancing everything else with the 'majesty' thesis has paid off. what? so vain to post up the results?? haha well what to say, Im vain at heart and I show it in moderation.

and results have granted me the basic access into applying for an MSC. here we go again God, I surrender the rest to You.

2. Ended a terrific time interning at Hewitt Associates. Thank you guys for the opportunity to be on this great team. Indeed was Alan said in one of his speeches was true "the fun lies in the people around you'. Work would be work, but the fun after that is priceless. Our K-sessions were priceless!! You have all left an impact on my life! Thank you Rach, Theng, ChenSilly, Zatie, Prav, Suba, Lek! You have indeed been the craziest consultants on this planet! Who would know you were consultants ?! :)

3. My sayang left for UK. Leaving me all alone... ALL ALONE in KL!!!!
.
.
.
.
....
Hahahaha yeah rite!
First part true, second part is a joke.

Yes, my sayang left to finish his final deg year in Portsmouth, UK. Yes i was darn sad, depressed, etc etc those depressing words. But thank God for Skype, we meet every night! (or afternoon at his place). So try not to call me at Malaysian time 10.30pm-12.00am. you can try but... i just MIGHT not pick up. :P and dont blame me. *too bad*

i miss him everyday. so much that i try not to get too obsessed. God help me! seriously!

He is alive and well! And is walking with God everyday! you see... God always deserves and gets the glory. Thats is the way to go folks!

4. I've started working in LB. But Im not gonna elaborate on this. hahaha for various reaosns. Just wanna say that God is good, and His mercies endure forever! I;'ve relied on God like NEVER BEFORE FOR EVERY SINGLE WORKING DAY here. like never before you know.. just imagine. Thoughts of leaving, thoughts of staying went though my mind. But let God's thoughts be my thoughts and i will follow just that. Things are better, picking up. im stabalizing and finding my footing. that is why i can even blog now.

OK quicky done. now off to some singing and chilling out with my buds. My long awaited mental break.

miss my sayang

miss my crazy friends

miss leehom

miss our crazy trips

miss holding Diana F+

miss God

Till the next quicky.... LOVE You with the LOVE of Christ!

the little email from the little one that brought me GREAT joy

2010-04-18T15:07:00.003+08:00

after reading this e-mail.. i was speechless for a few moments, then a smile creeped up on my face.. this came from a 11 year old who i love very dearly, but havent had the chance to catch up with since i moved on from this ministry.

hey, what are you doing now, where are you now, are you working, nice seeing you at church 18.4.2010 see you at next week at church how is your work okey tats all i am going to say god bless you and your family bye bye

i saw him in church today.. at first we had a glimpse of each other from the gaps between many other people sittig between us. he saw me, i saw him, then we both rocked in front and smiled at each other.. i loved THAT VERY MOMENT. it touched me so much! and when i got home, i was so surprised that he emailed me the above.. My heart wells up with joy.. joy that i havent felt in a long time.

funny how the smallest things like this can bring such great and unspeakable joy at this point of time. its a sign.. its a sign.. that God is Emmanuel- He is with me, God is with US. and He never leaves us.

another chun experience in church today. 2 old songs touched the depths of my heart again. it was those songs that i grew up with, was those songs that i got to know God, what He felt for me and how much He loves me.

Above All-
"He took the fall, and thought of me, above all."
when He was hanging on the cross, dripping with blood, I am was on His mind.

Sing (I love You so)-
"It USED to be darkness without You.
I LIVED my life in blindness, but now I'm found

and I'll sing! Sing 'I love You so'!!
and I'll sing! becaus e the world can't take away Your love!

I'll give my life for You Lord, for all You've done"

Thank you Lord!
thank you that i AM no longer and WILL no longer be in darkness bcause of You gave yourself for me. there is NO MORE darkness to those that are found by Jesus. to continue to say we are in darkness and STAY in the darkness, and even sometimes ENJOY the darkness- is an insult to you and your death. There might me mountains and valleys, promised lands and desserts, but NO MORE DARKNESS! because in You there is no more darkness. You have made us to be light, as you are, PERMANENTLY and ETERNALLY. YOUR light has lighted up all the dark areas of my life. and therefore, i will no longer complain about darkness, because it is non-existent to me after i have You in my life. I will also not bow down and not be shaken by anyone who are children of light but complain that they are stuck in darkness and deliberately dont want to move. it is non sensical and illogical. i have deep compassion for them, will pray for them but will not give in to it. and i admire christians who have the purest and most childlike hearts. teach me to be like them Lord. I want to be like that little one who loves others unconditionally, yet not affected by the world. Because He is so safe and loved in your arms. I want to be safe, rested and unmovable in You arms =) Amen i call it forth!

As we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let us run! let us run! with perseverence the race set before us.

Go lower to go higher

2010-04-16T01:21:00.006+08:00

these past few weeks have been extremely hard and challenging. on top of thesis deadline, assignments deadlines, looking for internship, studying for my final 3 papers of my entire deg program, things concerning the relational part of my life didnt get easier.. i won't elaborate coz its under the Blood of Jesus, but through all of this, i've learn 1 big big lesson: in order to go higher, you have to go lower. all because i have accepted the dream that takes a lifetime- leadership (j.Maxwell) and throughout the process of reading this amazing book, i did pray b4, that i want to experience and be conscious of everything i am reading. God heard me, and brought many parts of the book to life.

Maxwell summarizes it here:
1. it's not the dream of a lifetime; it's the dream that takes a lifetime.
2. it takes time to grow as a leader.
3. it takes trials to grow as a leader.
4. it takes God's help to grow as a leader.

...so... hehehe
at the moment, i do feel defeated, sad, frustrated, impatient, feel that i havent done enough, feel helpless and empty. But not without hope, faith and love ;) Thank God, there is still faith, hope and love. Faith that God knows best and works all things out for good; Hope that all things will INDEED work out for and according to God's purpose; and love, for the way God loves me and how i want to love people around me the way He does. No, i've not given up; and i sure hope i will never. But i'm just pausing for a moment, to see whats happening and asking God how to get through this. my presence of mind will be back soon ;)

Dear God,
If my heart has grown cold, there You love will unfold, as You open my eyes to the work of your hands. When Im blind to my way, there Your spirit will pray, as You open my eyes to the work of Your hands. Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like You have loved me! Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom's cause as i walk from earth into eternity. Help me to become a better leader, Lord. Reveal the dream You have for my life. PLace i in my heart, and re-kindle my passion for it! While You help me to grow, teach me to embrace the whole development process. Give me patience when i need it and passion when it's appropriate. Teach me to look beyond my life and desires. And when I'm ready, show me the big picture as You did for Joseph!I love You Lord, and so i'll pass it on.

i miss God.. i miss ps prince's voice on mp3~ haha

2010-04-06T10:36:00.002+08:00

just for keepsake..
to remind myself of what are my priorities, essentials, and things that matter the most.. dont want to be like the person in the bible who looked at himself in the mirror who turned away and immediately forgot what he saw..

thank you Ps Prince for today's devotional, and reminding me of who JEsus is- King and Lord over the storm =)

Matthew 14:27
27But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”
Are you going through a dark, difficult moment in your life? Perhaps the storm just rages on with no let-up and you are trembling in fear. You feel that any time now, you may just cave in and go under because you cannot beat this storm.

Be comforted that Jesus sees what you are going through and He always comes to where you are in your darkest hour. He did that for His disciples one stormy night on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus came, walking on the stormy waters, walking on top of the problem that was threatening to overwhelm them. He is indeed the King and Lord over the storms!

When your eyes are on Christ, even though the storms are raging and the winds are blowing, you will know that you are above your troubles and circumstances. When people ask you how you are doing under the circumstances, tell them, “I am not under the circumstances. I am on top of them because my God is above all!”

Don’t be fearful. He will come to you walking on the stormy waters. Hear His comforting voice telling you, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

And as you behold Jesus, you become like Him. You will find yourself doing things you did not know you could do. You will, like Peter, walk on water. This happens when you are occupied with the person of Jesus, with His resources, love, wisdom, ability, power and majesty.

My friend, even during the times when you take your eyes off Jesus, He never takes His eyes off you. And when you cry out to Him, He will immediately stretch out His hand to catch hold of you. You will not go under.

There may be times that you are not able to find your way back. Jesus will then hold your hand and walk you back to the boat. And like Peter, you will realize that with your hand in His, the storm will come to a standstill!

Look what I found in our dear Mraz's blog.. =_=

2010-03-25T09:32:00.003+08:00

just a random post.. as i let off some highly dreaded steam from my head. Life's tough, but I have an Almighty God ;) that should make things easier and funnier.. hahaha

here's something that made me go =_=''' at 9.38am this morning..

Just Mraz being himself.. only human... (oh yes we areeeeee... Only Human);)

About weddings..

2010-02-03T18:17:00.002+08:00

i stumbled across a lovely wedding video of local-taiwanese artist Fish Leong and Tony Chao who were married early this year..

after watching this video, especially the part where the husband declares his own vows while at the brink of breaking down, it gives me a sense of hope and expectation of spending an honorable life together as 2 wholes before God. I like what one of the best men said to the camera "No return NO exhange!" ahahah i don't expect my own wedding to be super dreamy or high end. just something that will be beautifully memorable to me =)

enjoy..

Fish Leong and Tony Chao from Mayad Studios on Vimeo.

He always lifts me.. this time to be an eagle!

2010-01-30T10:22:00.009+08:00

This morning, after a slightly rough night, i had a weird awakening in my spirit or heart..or i dunno what, about rising up. and immediately thought of an eagle. and as i did a simply search on it, guess what i found? =)

Leadership- eagles have characteristics of a great leader:

1) Vision - Just like the eagle, all leaders must have vision. The eagle's eyes can see great distances. They can also directly into the sun without being blinded.

2) Eagles Never Eat Dead Meat - You will never see an eagle eating meat that it did not kill. An eagle is not a scavenger. It hunts for and kills its own food. It hunts for the prey while it's warm and alive. You as a leader must go where the action is.

3) Looks For & Flies Into Storms - As storms approach, lesser birds head for cover, but the might eagle spreads its wings and with a great cry mounts upon the powerful updrafts, soaring to heights of glory. Eagles use the storm to lift him to these great heights. Leaders use storms (challenges); we don't run from them. To leaders, storms are tools used for their development.

4) Very Gentle & Attentive To Their Young - The eagle is known for its ferocity, yet no member of the bird family is more gently and attentive to its young. At just the right time, the mother eagle begins to teach her eaglets how to fly. She gathers an eaglet onto her back, and spreading her wings, flies high. Suddenly she swoops out from under the eaglet and as it falls, it gradually learns what its wings are for until the mother catches it once again on her wings. The process is repeated. If the young is slow to learn or cowardly, she returns him to the nest, and begins to tear it apart, until there is nothing left for the eaglet to cling to. Then she nudges him off the cliff.

You might have heard the argument about whether great leaders are born or made. The fact is great leaders are born but great leaders are also made.

I admit that I am not a born leader. But im definately being made into one by God. I also admit that its hard and tiring! Totally not what i would naturally want to do. I mean, i can lead when i want to. But when it comes to things that i don't naturally want to care about, hmmm... I might chose to just let it slack =P having the "not my problem anyway, why should i care so much.." kind of attitude. but as i let God's glory shine on those dark areas (bo pien i always go to where the glory shines- church lor), it definately drives out all these 'shadows' in my life, and God has changed me to be more like Him, to have His heart, which is a heart that cares and loves unconditionally. So.. i basically have no choice but to change, when i get exposed to the "SON" (sun) and so here I am.. blogging about this, because I care, and want to make a difference in lives.

This is yet another time where God has spoken so clearly to me.. so inspiring! Indeed, as the homepage image of my blog says "I Will Exalt the One Who LIFTED me!" He always lifts me!! and this verse was not chosen by accident.

Dear Father God,

Reveal to me my true level of influence on others. Show me my weaknesses so that i may submit them to You for Your grace. Strengthen me so that i can serve You better through leadership, and increase my influence with others. Teach me to be a salt and light to others, not to benefit myself, but to add value to others. And above all, empower me to place my family first when it comes to leadership. Let me influence begin with a modeling of a faithful life. The more the devil says i'm mediocre or a failure, the more im gonna rise up, blog, talk, care, and train others to be Your leaders. In you mighty name I pray and thank you for everything! Amen.

No matter how many times, and how many creative ways i will fall and fail, God still is and will forever be- My righteousness and holiness, The Lifter of my head!

I want many things too..

2010-01-27T18:50:00.005+08:00

I realized that i seldom blog about what I like. My wishlist on the right side column of my blog is severely outdated!

So since I'm so stuck and sienz of doing my thesis now.. i shall talk about good things, and maybe the inspirations will come later! hehe
My most updated wishlist:

1. Diana F+ Lomo camera deluxe kit
2. > 3.5 CGPA with a High Second Upper (down graded version of 1stClass Hons)
3. My little Bob Dog pencil case to come back! iv been keeping you for 15 freaking years for goodness sake!
4. new pencil case (till my bob dog gets back =_=)
5. to succesfully get in Hewitt Assc and work at my dream employer (for the moment)
6. Master deg. Everything i need is at Jesus' feet :)
7. Go back to Cambodia for 3 months within the next 3 years
8. get married within 3 years
9. a pair of size 3 Converses that can fit my micro feet.
10. 20 working adults and 20 college students in my cg
11. Aviator sunglasses.. just broke my SGD 10 - 1+ years old black rimmed ones, dont want to be loaning one forever~
12. my girls and boys to live life to the fullest and to their fullest potential
13. a peaceful life

my hope is on this:
And God is able to make all things abound towards me, that I, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work" 2 Cor 9:8

I will serve You while i'm waiting, i will worship when i'm waiting. My Father is a rich man, and i'm royalty, should have no prob getting it all =P

so far so good for now.. will see how many i get and cut off by the end of the year ya!! hehehe syok sendiri!

I Will Exalt You =)

2010-01-27T11:44:00.000+08:00

The Lion in me =)

2010-01-16T12:38:00.002+08:00

People say I'm born in the "year of the tiger". But what they don;t know is that The Lion lives in me! Try and beat that!

1 Peter 5:8
8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

The devil cannot just walk right up to you and rob you of your health, peace or family. He cannot just come into your life to enforce disease and destruction.

If the devil can do that, then he does not have to walk about “seeking whom he may devour”. He only has to walk straight up to anyone he wants to devour and devour him! But since the Bible says that he goes about seeking whom he may devour, the truth then is that there are people whom he cannot devour.

You see, the devil goes about like a roaring lion trying to stir up fear in people with his roars. But the people who are not devourable are those who refuse to be intimidated by his roars because they know that the true Lion of Judah, Jesus Christ (Revelation 5:5), has already come and rendered powerless him who had the power of death. (Hebrews 2:14, NASB) They know that the devil cannot just do anything to them because the Lion of Judah resides in them, and that He is greater than the devil who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

My friend, the Lion of Judah is in you. He has given you rights, privileges, authority and power. He redeemed you with His blood. Therefore, everything about you and your life is redeemed by His blood. So if you are fearful about losing your job, cover your job with the blood of Jesus. If you are worried about your children’s safety in these days of terrorist attacks, plead the blood of Jesus over them. If you have received a bad report from the doctor, speak the blood over yourself.

Whatever you have covered with the blood of Jesus, God declares, “Protected! Redeemed!” And the devil flees when he sees the blood. And when he flees, he takes with him sicknesses, diseases, pains, sufferings, destruction and loss.

Once the devil knows that you know who you are in Christ and what you have in Him, his days of intimidating you are over, and you are numbered among the undevourable!

2010... i can smell the things coming!!

2010-01-06T11:06:00.002+08:00

i actually tried to upload some photos that were the highlights of my 2009 and in rememberance of this wonderfully perculiar year. but somehow the uploading failed after many tries, and i gave up. i also didnt really feel like blogging throughout the whole november and december, which ironically was my 2 months of holidays. who says, you are free during your holidays? HAHA

i know a lot of people blogged about their reflection on the past year, and their hopes and dreams for the new year. i was greatly encourage and proud of some people for being able to face and overcome their fears more boldly, some had their lives turned around by Jesus, some entering new phases of their lives, and some.. well.. are just thankful for being alive!

for me, honestly, i didnt really WANT to reflect in detail on 2009, because there were many things i didnt want to remember. doesn't sound like me right. i know. few things that happened were just too painful to look back on, what more to ponder upon. those things were just not worth my time, and memory. it does sound like im running away, and what happen to the Michi that was full of faith and hope?

So this year, i did something different. Yes, i do have my 2010 hopes and dreams prepared and talked it out with God. So i just PLUNGED into the new year. its very unlike what i have done before. I decided that i would go straight on. Being superthankful to God for His abundant love and grace upon my life, and looking forward to the things to come. i thank God for G who has been a great encouragement to me, by the way you live, and by your love for God and people.

Here, i want to announce and proclaim, that my 2010 is going to be superDifferent. I can smell my hopes and dreams coming to reality. I can smell God preparing something in the kitchen, behind the scenes. I can see it coz its behind the 'curtain', but i sure can smell the exhillarating aroma!!! I cant tell anyone yet, coz i dont know either.. But when the time comes, i know you all will be happy for me, and i ask for your encouragement and support =)

I will be finishing up my last papers in Uni by this April. Doing internship from May-June. Then after that, lies a mystery.... wooo... im lovin' it!!

Congrats to a few of my dear friens.. C&D, A&B, K&P... for making the decision of their lives! May God bless you all superabundantly with strength, grace, patience and love for each other. May you all grow to know and discover more of God's will for your lives TOGETHER!

To those that are still unattached, do purpose in your heart that this year will be a significant one to you. God is behind the scenes, preparing something for you. NEVER doubt that He loves you, and knows your heart. He KNOWS who you like =P and He KNOWS who likes you =P Pray for the correct TIMING and prepare yourselves. REST in Him, and God will take care of the rest.

God's grace has gone deep, as i let my heart be ransomed, be caught by Jesus. The Lover n Maker of my life.

"The is no one else for me, none but Jesus;
Crucified to set me free, now I live to bring You praise!
All my delilght is in You Lord,
All of my Hope, all of my Strength;
All my delight is in You Lord, forevermore!"

I love you Jesus

There is NO Plan B!!

2009-10-06T00:25:00.003+08:00

to say that things are fine is an understatement.. to say its a disaster is pathetic.. haha but to say that i know God is always in control no matter what things are like outside the window.. is accurate =) and that there is NO Plan B.

i only have but this to hold on to..

"God is not a man, that He should lie. Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has he spoken, and will He not make it good?" (Num 23:10)

Go figure.

Father You are king OVER the flood, and i will be still and know You are God!!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2009-09-20T23:10:00.012+08:00

They say that life is to be fortified by many friendships..
In these times of immense pressure, besides God, its these photos i've turned to for comfort. thank you for your support, comfort, for believing in me, your patience, kindness, faithfulness and love.

thank you all and love you very much !!!

An even more interesting happy title!!

2009-08-31T03:54:00.004+08:00

Has the title stirred up your interest to read this post? Aihh.. i do get a bit caught up in a frenzy at times.. Coz im still your crazy Michi =P

So here's a small annoncement to make but is a big impact in my life: Michi is a happy Yakid! Still very single but only available to 2 people: God, and someone else =)

To those who have known me for a long time would more or less know how big this would impact me. I'm glad that all the time spent becoming who i am is all worthwhile. This preparation even includes tolerating and embracing sweaty palms.. go figure.

From deep down i want to thank God for all these good 23 years of singlehood bliss.. and for the many other years to come to enjoy, appreciate and serve each other and most of all to love, honor, and serve God and taking care of His people together. I thank God for you =)

I'm happy happy happy happy!! =)

A more interesting title for my heart's content =P

2009-08-26T10:52:00.007+08:00

The title is titled the way its titled because it was a suggestion from a dear friend to make it sound more catchy.. lol..

Finally.. my heart's content: (its kinda long, but important. so do read till the end =P )

If to distant lands i scatter
If i sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
'till i only dwell in Thee

If i flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'till i only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one amibtion
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision
'till i only dwell in Thee
That i only dwell in Thee
'till i ONLY DWELL THEE...!

This is my long awaited serious blog..
After all that was said and done, today the fruits are growing and showing.
After spending pieces of quality time with God, reflecting on the past months and past years.. i only have one thing to say: Thank you Jesus for everyone and everything.

Past few months had been very hard on me, but not as hard as it was on the closest darlings around me. I think it has been the hardest times of our lives! But the fact that we're still moving and breathing, proves that we are made to be much more tougher, stronger and wiser to go through everything and yet come out.. maybe burnt a bit by the 'fire', but still alive and well. (All of) You will be fine, just hang on to the ultimate Anchor and Rock.

Some have experienced a great 'loss', but i want them to know that it is nothing but the largest gain. Some lived their lives so well, and is ours to learn from... All that they were and did was for us to see and to know where their inspiration came from. Pain and grief are real to feel, but its the details in the fine print of their lives that we extract into our own that makes us stronger than we have ever been.

Some were hit by waves of confusion, indefinite situations, sleepless, pillows-soaked-wet-by-tears nights.. wondering and sometimes even to the exent of nearly getting drowned by those huge cruel waves. They seemed never ending, and you felt like you would NEVER make it out alive. But now they could step outside and began to see the bigger picture, and realize that its not so overwhelming afterall.. We can expect that people do change over time, and we cannot control them. However, we can gracefully release them to do what they want. It's our greatest gift to them and to ourselves. Now you can look back and see that it is good, and most of all, God is good.

Some have tasted and seen that God is good. They have experienced so much of Him in such short time. Honestly, i dont envy but admire them, and can't help but think that God may have been a little unfair =P But this is who God is.. not unfair =P.. but good. The past years had indeed been hard and uncertain, and even very much painful and aimless too. But if only they let Him be who He is in their lives. Expect God to show up to guide (not control) your every decision, plan and dream.. and knowww that He is what all of us say He is.. He is good. None of their lives can ever, EVER be the same again.

Some have loved much, and got hurt just as much. But they did the right thing.. they had LOVED. But to love also means risking getting hurt. We can't deny this wonderful package we have. Altho we dont expect hurt to get hurt, it still just might attack unnoticed and unintended. One thing is for sure, they should not regret the amount of time, emotions, expectations they had on people. They were only human. But do know that all that they have done, loving and all.. is accounted for. Love may not be returned by the people they show love to, but it WILL come back to them, from unexpected sources.. Moving on to greater heights takes much courage as it also means going into the unknown. What's going to happen to them next? Are they going to love and be disappointed yet again? Maybe, but if you loved, then you have lived. Period. Remember the greatest of faith, hope and love, is still LOVE.

As for me..
i have but one thing to say to sum it all.

Everything happens for a reason. The people around me, what they are to me is for a reason. NOTHING is coincidence or accident. I look back on the ugly times, how cruel, how unfair, how much anguish it has caused, heart-breaking events, soul & hope-killing moments. Why must it happen to us? honestly, till now i still don't know. How nice it would be for all of us to go through life smoothly sailing on our favourite personal yatch? When everyday is Friday or Christmas or Valentines day or Chinese NEw YEar(i heart dry pork)or Easter?

But i have realized that there will be days like May 13, Good friday, September 11, the day my grandpa passed away, the day people break up with their bf/gf, or the last day a man and woman goes through before they are called Divorsees the next day. How cruel is this? How cruel people can be to each other? How heartless can you be to me?

haha.. and how sad can Solomon in Ecclesiastes 1:18 be??
(vs 18) And i set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this is also grasping in the wind.
(vs19) For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases in sorrow." FOR WHAT? better not be wise, when you know sorrow is gonna follow you right???
(vs 15) So i said in my heart "As it happends to the FOOL (stupids), It also happeneds to me, and why was i then more wise? (terrible!)"
(vs 16) for there is no more remembrance of the wise than of a fool forever, since all that now is, will be forgotten in the days to come. And how does a wise man die? The same way as a fool!

So why on earth do we even care about doing the right things or living to the fullest? When everything is going to waste anyway?? However wise you are, fact is, you are gonna die the same way as the stupidest person you know.

Soloman also warns us that as you enjoy to live many years, and rejoice in all of them, yet.. do remember the days of darkness, for they will be many..all that is coming is wasteful! (Ecc 11:8)

pause.. this is depressing.

but King Solomon being the wisest man on earth.. ending all this crapping and complaining about life with this:

(Ecc 11:9-10) Young people, it's wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it! Do all you want to; take in everything, but realize that you must account to God for everything you do. So banish grief and pain, but remember that youth, with all the years before it, can make serious mistakes.
and then he ended his complaining by Eccle 12:13 " Here is my final conclusion: honour and respect God and obey his commandments, for this is the entire duty of man."

After complaining about life for the whole 12 chapters, Soloman acknowledged that ultimately, God was and will always be the only constant in life. If you feel like leaving and running away, no one can stop you. As you run, you can expect to run your whole life. on the other hand, though its the most painful and nerve-wrecking thing to do, facing the challenges are the most noble and wise thing you can do for YOURSELF, not for your friend, and certainly not for God. After what everyone has said, its up to you. God is just waiting to be apart of your life, you don;t need to do it alone. Trust me, trust us. We love you all too much to see you wander alone. We are and always be here for you.

This song is called The Hymn. If you're not so poetically & sentimentally inclined, hope you would enjoy the melody and feel of the song. To me, it says:

no matter how far off i wander,
even if it seems like i may not make it back,
would God come to search for me? till im back safely with Him

if i run away from the safest place, from His will, my greenest pasture,
would God care to come after me?
even if it means letting go of His throne and glory
instead, putting on a crown made of thorns, and dying the most shameful death.
yes, he would and he did.

everyone out there.. this is who God is ya.
you WILL go through harder things in life, this is just the beginning. But you KNOW where and Who to look to. You look UP, to your Creator. Who is for you, to defend you, protect you, comfort you, guide you and love you. He'll make you a surfing board to surf through the waves and not get drowned.

Who you are is His gift to you; who you can be is your gift to Him.

*sings*
if my heart has one ambition, if my soul 1 goal to seek,
this is my solitary vision, 'till i only dwell in Thee...!

That i only dwell in thee..

~Monkey business~

2009-07-22T17:48:00.009+08:00

Well.. i was planning to update my blog with a very serious post talking seriously about serious things that are seriously going on in my serious life. But as a few seriously urgent assignments are seriously driving my brain seriously nuts, and after reading my Vain lil brother's blogpost about some seriously random stuff, i figured that i should seriously cool down my serious brain from being occupied by too many serious things. Read again: serious things aren't bad for health, but it can seriously do serious damage to humourous lame side of you, which actually the side that keeps you sane afterall =) am i seriously confusing you? hahaha too bad then.. so now... heres some serious monkey business questions that might keep you entertained as i prepare mentally to write about more serious things in the coming serious future... LOL.. enjoy =P

(Jojo's convo)

(Shout Awards 2009)

1. What have you been doing recently?
Wasting my precious brain juice on un-enjoyable assignments, a time of serious thinking and praying while settling relational stuff, having the time of my life watching Man Utd players in Bkt Jalil, and pondering on what the future will be.

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
NO. i got screamed at a few times when my battery died. Why is always when the batteries dies that im sooooo sort after? Call me and talk all you want when my fine is fine larrr.. Your wrong timings are you loss ya =P

3. What happened at 10am today?
i got stuck in a terrible stupid jam on jln loke yew while heading to college, just because there was an accident on the opposite side of the road.. as usual Malaysian being their teeribly kepoh self will slow down and even stop to enjoy watching people suffer and die, than move on with their own lives. i hope Malaysians dont get any dumber than this. Bless you with common sense & wisdom!!

4. When did you last cry?
about 2weeks ago. haha

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Destiny

6. What do you want in life now?
I want to live life to the fullest, live in every moment, and enjoy the adventure God has for me here the pitstop- Earth.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or put up your hood?
Im always too lazy to carry an unbrella. But i would put up my hood if i had 1 when it rained.

8. What's your favourite thing to do in bed?
Sleep la.. abudennn?

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
Padini Authentic jeans. i like =)

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
daily devotionals from New Creation Church & Ransomed Heart ministries =)

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
nope. i like things clear cut, sweet and sincere.

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
Nope. hardly ever

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Public enemies!! christian bale is charming =)

14. What are you proud of?
The friends & friendships i have made, my people God has put to be my family not by their choice, the church that God has placed me in.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say and who is it from?

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Love is Waiting by Brooke Fraser. that song has been stuck in my heard since yesterday =P

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Mish, Michi, michi girl, beautiful mish (lol).. dats abt it..

18. What does the newest text messgae say and who is it from?
"Going off now, still at libry?" frm Gish

19. What time did you sleep last night?
2.03am i think.

20. Are you currently happy?
Not really. Had a rough day..

21. Who gives you the best advice?
not 1 single person. prolly my chingu, jacwyn, sometimes gish, sometimes nally woo when she feels inspired and my pastors.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Yes!!! and love it!!

23. Who did you talked to on the phone last night?
mei ling

24. Is something bugging you right now?
Yes. but its for me to know, and for you to find out.

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
Kish & Gish.

26. Do you like yourself?
Yes, i do.

27. You want $5 or $10?
$10. But both if i may.

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Sometimes, perhaps.

29. Who is your best best best friend?
Chingu & Li Han. got another one also.

30. What will you do if you like that boy?
Be myself

31. Who are your favourite stars?
Brooke Fraser & Lee Hom for singers, Sandra Bullock & Gerrard Butler for actors.

32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
Not hate, but frustrated. just like wat kelvin said.

33. Do you had even stead before??
Huh?

34. What type of boy/ girl do you like?
Smart, funny, charming, caring, responsible & dedicated =) just like me!

35. Now are you single/attached?
I'm single.

I'll tag the usuals and then follow Mel's way of randomly tag other people.

1. Charissa
2. Joanna (coz i just saw her just now)
3. Connie
4. Kish
5. Gish
6. Nally
7. Jac
8. Elaine
9. Robin
10. Li Han

1. Would you date number 5?
Maybe, would require consideration...

2. Number 2 just got in a car crash. How do you react
Pray & RUsh to her rescue. If its too late fr rescue, ill rush to the hospital.

3. You see number 9 with your boy/girlfriend. What do you do?
Say hi and ask if i can butt in =P

4. You come home and and your room has been ransacked by number 4.
Throw his Nike shoes down the deepest drain!

5. Number 1 is acting weird.
Asked her whats wrong

6. Numbers 3 & 8 decide to give 10 a haircut.
ok, but be very very very careful

7. Number 7 just got tickets for him/her and you to go to a concert.
say.... YESHHHHH

8. Number 10 takes you to a bar.
go lor

9. Number 4 has to move to the other side of the world.
Miss him lorr, then bug him on facebook, skype, msn everyday... lol

10. You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
Stop and ask them to mind their own business..

11. Number 7 and you are sitting on the couch watching a movie when he/her wrap his/her arm around you.
FREAK OUT!

12. Number 5 asks you out to dinner.
sure, but be ready to pay for 2 =P lol

13. Number 9 and you are sitting on a bus.
we will be joking and laughing about everything all the way

14. Number 6 calls you in the middle of the night because he/she can't sleep.
Hear her problem and pray that she falls asleep half way talking to me =P

15. You're walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
Get up and start chasing her

16. Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
I'll go get the boyfriend and make him regret dumping her.

17. Number 2 offers to bake you a meal. As you sit in the other room, the kitchen is suddenly aflame.
Laugh 1st, then get the fire extinguisher.

18. Number 4 comes to your door one day holding a koala.
Take pity on the poor koala that may have mistook number 4 as its tree.. wait a min.. no.4 DOES look like a tree.. lol

19. Number 4 just got you an X-Box.
Thank him, and lend it to him for the rest of my life =) im THAT good

20. Number 9 challenges you to a children's card game!
No problem

21. Number 1 thinks he/she's overweight.
HAhaha that will never happen

22. Number 7 looks lonely.
bring her to eat kerang

23. Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave her/him alone.
ok.. but i'll be back to check 5mins later.

24. Numbers 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise party for you.
GREAT! the most capable people to plan a party!! im gonna have the best party ever!

25. Number 6 decide to dye his/her hair blue. What do you say to that?
Nice color, just hope that it doesnt fade and turn green.

26. Number 7 tells you he/she is going to go out for a while, and then later you hear about a shooting where he/she went.
call her immediately to ask how is she

27. You catch number 9 by him/herself, crying.
sit and cry together, then ask whats wrong

28. Numbers 1, 3, 5 and 6 all tackle you at once.
lie there for a while.. then make them wish they didnt.

wowww thats some entertainment for a stressful time like this.. stay tuned for more =)

bye bye people!

.about being faithful.

2009-06-16T23:52:00.003+08:00

LOVE isnt finding the perfect person; its seeing the imperfect person perfectly.
Just like how You saw me when You took the crown of thorns.

When I can't feel You
I have learnt to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You
I know You still hear every word I pray
and I want You more than I want to live another day
As I wait for You, maybe I'm made more FAITHFUL

There's distance in the air, and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms round about me
And blow with all my might
I cannot sense You close
But I know You're always here
But the comfort of You near is what I long for..

Oh the folly of the past
Though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft Your name
Let it roll around my tongue
Knowing You're the Only One who knows me
You know me...

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want..

Therefore Lord, "I will declare that Your love stands firm FOREVER! that You established Your FAITHFULness in heaven itself. (Psalms 89:2); to proclaim Your love in the morning, and Your FAITHFULness at night! " (Psalm 92:2)

TRUE LOVE: Has anyone else in your life loved you THAT much?

2009-04-18T09:21:00.009+08:00

heh.. found this while looking for other images.. this would naturally be something to write about on Valentines Day or season... but who says you need a time to write about LOVE??
what attracted me was:

1. "sometimes you have to work for it- especially when LIFE gets in the way.."
i dont really agree with this.. as i think that LIFE will always be apart of everything..
we've to be realistic about the harshness of the world's problems, which eventually become part of our own. So, the challenge is that true love WILL BE ABLE to battle through all the harshness and the 2 people will come out victorious!

2. "true love is always worth fighting for"
ah... this is true =)
i think one way to 'TEST' how true love is, is by how much it is worth fighting for. The simplest of examples is how Jesus fought for our love. It was sooooo true that He was willing to give up to pay for our love with His OWN life, just to get us back.

Sometimes we complain that we dont feel loved... LOL= Lack of Love (so they say...) but..

Think again, has ANYONE else in YOUR life loved you THAT MUCH????

We all have a LOVE to fight for.. But lets remember that JESUS fought for us FIRST!!!!

Walking with God: Sequeal to Shadow Feet

2009-04-01T15:50:00.003+08:00

Walking stumbling.. on these shadow feet
Toward home a land that I've never seen
Im am changing less and less asleep
Made of different stuff then when I begin...
When the world is falling out from under me
I'll be found in You, STILL STANDINGWhen time and space are through
I'll be found in You..
-Shadowfeet, Brooke Fraser-

this is a post about how i leaned on God during weirdly confusing and amazingly painful times.. its a part of John Eldredge's Waking The Dead.. hope this speaks deeply to you as it did for me =)

Walking with God

Walking with God leads to receiving His intimate counsel, and counselling leads to DEEP restoration. As we learn to walk with God and hear His voice, He is able to bring up issues in our hearts that need speaking to. Some of those wounds were enought to break our hearts, create a rift in the soul, and so we need His healing badly. This is something Jesus walks us into-sometimes through the help of another person who can listen and pray with us, smetimes with God ALONE.

As David said in Psalm 23, He leads us away, to a quiet place, to restore our soul. OUr first choise is to go with Him there- to slow down, unplug, accpet the invitation to come aside. You will never find healking in the midst of the matrix.

We need time in God's presence. This often comes as God raises some issues in our hearts or after we just relived an event that takes us straight back to that broken place, or waking up to a raw emotion.

When we're in God presence (when we spend time soaking in love songs to God in our mp3s and ipods, reading a Ransomed Heart series, reading the bible, going thru daily devotion materials, or just simply thinking about God and thanking Him for His goodness towards us), removed from distraction, we are able to hear Him more clearly in our hearts, and a secure environment has been established for the young and broken places in our hearts to surface, for Him to heal us.

He cares for everything thing you have been through no matter how it may sound and look. Remember there's a place in our heart and a longing so deep that only God can fill. Let Him in to fill you =)

Awkward Love.. To all beautiful women: This is why we love

2009-03-20T10:30:00.012+08:00

haha the title pretty much speaks for itself.. Awkward Love

This is an exerpt that has taught me how to love, the different aspects of love, and ULTIMATE reason that we can actually do such a thing as TO LOVE =)

It took me at least a week or so to fully understand what it meant.. and at least 1 year to work on it and actually see results.. These are one of the many things that have impacted and changed me to be the MICHI you see, hear, and know now!! kekekeke =)

LOVE YOU everybody!

God speaks yet AGAIN, through John & Stasi Eldredge :

Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendships. There are ebbs and flows. There may be real hurt and disappointment.
But with the grace of God firmly holding us, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships.
We are designed to live in relationship and share in the lives of other women. We need one another. God knows that. We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and, in faith, to love. We must also repent.
For a woman to enjoy relationship, she must repent of her need to control and her insistence that people fill her.
Fallen Eve demands that people “come through” for her.
Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is free to offer to others, free to desire, and willing to be disappointed.
Fallen Eve has been wounded by others and withdraws in order to protect herself from further harm.
Redeemed Eve knows that she has something of value to offer; that she is made for relationship. Therefore, being safe and secure in her relationship with her Lord, she can risk being vulnerable with others and offer her true self.
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.
But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable . . . The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers . . . of love is Hell. (C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

(Captivating , 181–82)

and heres some recent photos... i'm ALIVE and WELL!

Michi met a little lamb whose fleece was NOT like snow.. kekeke

in the car at the traffic light :P

dearie LiHan's convo!!

lepaking in PD..went to visit mom

tyres sudd no air.. no air.. no air...

me and darling Alicia during CNY.. this dearie grows smarter, prettier and noisier by the month~

I just had a great review from my Managing People lecturer for my group presentation!! Was the same lecturer whothreathened to give me a 0/20 marks for midterm just because i forgot to write the question number.. in the end he gave a 18/20 also.. was a great humbling experience... this calls for celebration!!!!

Thats all for now folks!!

The Ultimate Risk Anyone Ever Takes is To Love

2009-02-24T23:12:00.009+08:00

God speaks in mysteriously coincident ways ya.. but we know that nothing is by coincidence.. this is the 'coincidence' that i encountered right after knowing some info. This is what it is to love.. from John Eldredge my fav author.

God’s relationship with us and with our world is just that: a relationship. As with every relationship, there’s a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you’ll get hurt. The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love, for as C. S. Lewis says, “Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.” But God does give it, again and again and again, until he is literally bleeding from it all. God’s willingness to risk is just astounding—far beyond what any of us would do were we in his position.

Trying to reconcile God’s sovereignty and man’s free will has stumped the church for ages. We must humbly acknowledge that there’s a great deal of mystery involved, but for those aware of the discussion, I am not advocating open theism. Nevertheless, there is definitely something wild in the heart of God.

(Wild at Heart , 32)

The best advice i got today was from Jac that brought me face to face with my senses that it almost hurt.. funny to hear this coming from me.. but proves that im only human =)
Jac said: Keep being thankful & grateful to Him. Its the antidote to any lack or loss!

Geek In The Pink

2009-02-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

great vocals

Videos that reminds me of all of you

2009-02-04T23:41:00.004+08:00

hey my dearly Beloved friends.. i watched a Youtube video recently that reminded me of many crazy, insane, happy moments iv had with many of my friends.. those who have known me for years and those who have known me not for long..but it seems like years =P

its not necessarily exactly what you see happening in the video.. but what the lyrics say.
(needed some cheering up due to a very slow start to the year =P)

Heres to you all..
P.S. Jason Mraz's vocals darnnn chun in this video of You & I>>

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.

Best photos this season

2009-01-21T19:04:00.008+08:00

I've so much of things to say..but have not enuff words for it.. so here's some insight into things that have happen recently (in the near past)
My surprise bday at leisure mall.. by my beloved Fishes. love u all very much!
My bday cake and lovely prezzie.. =)

I (HEART) Fish! as the fishes pose with the revelational tshirt =P
Fun at UNIFEST 09~
Fishes and Friends..
The day Moni was ordained.. now she is Pastor Monica!!

Had some of the people that we closest to me over for Christmas.. 1..2..3.. sampaaaaaaaaaaaaat

few siao kias.. i shall not comment further.

the 5 beautities..

had fun at 1U after serving some beautiful children.

do not underestimate us.

guess how this was taken. so beautifully emo rite?

then there was my two month stint in Scotiabank.. these are the wonderful people who have added even mre colour to my life..

Christmas nite.. after all was done..

Beautiful girls who have impacted my life.. Oh Beautiful souls..

Christmas night.. dancing to Majesty

i dunno what is this.. just thought it was lame enuff to leave some memories

Children's Christmas celebration.. Wei Shiuan & Jun Bin.. fine young men

This is exactly why we are serving in this Children Church..

how it has started

2009-01-14T02:00:00.005+08:00

i've been dying to say this: i love this dress!! it looked even better on Sandra Bullock..one of my favourite actresses.. its so simple yet elegant, smart and confident. Especially if worn by one of the most intelligent, smart and sophisticated women =) i love her la!

its exactly 2 weeks into 2009. it has been so good so far. except for the one unexpected payment i have to make tomorrow. otherwise.. was a good start.

i havent really got BIG/ glamorous/ fabulous plans for this year apart from my resolutions, which are more like things i want to do everyday. somehow i feel that i shouldnt be making any big plans.. but to give space and time for other things and areas that need to be developed more fully.. and to take things as they come.

yet something tells me also to dare to dream and dare to wish. blame it on this phrase: "Be careful what you wish for, coz u just might get it all"..yea by Daughtry. just the way it spoke to many others, it has to me too. many times before, and now, again. it gives me a funny kind of excitement that urges me to not be confined to any stupid box, but dare to dream, hope and ask for things that you have never dared to. what do you think? should i try? i wonder what God's up to? where is he taking me next year? in 5 years? this leaves me weirdly excited and a bit more enthusiastic than i was 10mins ago =P

lets keep this year fun and optimistic and trusting God all the way ya~

*Sing to the Lord... Oh my soul!!* heheheh

You make all things new~

2008-12-31T16:16:00.005+08:00

here was 2008, walking and stumbling on these shadowfeet. I've been changing to be less and less asleep, made of different stuff than when i began.

Definately made of different stuff than when i first began. Too much has been going on recently till a point that felt like dropping it all and disappearing off to somewhere else..far away from the noise and sinking thoughts. But thats only for cowards i guess. This year was also a year of letting go of everything..literally. Things, people, places, incidences and emotions. I've being doing so much of letting go until i feel that i didnt want anything anymore. I dont want anything!! Coz i know i'd have to let go anyway..

so.. things that i want to thank God for 2008..

1. Good exam results.. this is a miracle! Through the ridiculously tight schedule of classes, visitations, cgs, and family..God still came through with me~ gilaaa chun!
2. WHC Children Ministry that has FINALLY become a Children Church!! wooohooo Thank God for every child, parent, teacher, helper, worship leaders and musicians that He had brought into this place.
3. WHC Youth Ministry> The Metamorphosis Project.. that the children that are growing into the teens now have a larger group to grow with and wonderful leaders to lead them to becoming super lovers of Jesus.
4. Open doors> ooportunity to serve with World Vision. More to come babe!
5. Closed doors.
6. My holiday job at Scotiabank.. great boss, great collegues, great experience!
7. My sis is going home to stay once a week!
8. Thank my grdma and aunt for sacrificing so much to let me go to love others.
9. Mummy, just for being my mummy.
10. Friends, that have been there although they don't and maybe will never be able to understand what has been going on with me. That they don't judge me for mistakes but give grace and support.
11. People who i have regarded as unofficial mentors.. ie Ps. Ong! that have spoken many truths into my life.
12. Challenges that have made me stronger.
13. Victories that have excouraged me to do better.
14. Thank God that He nudged me let go all those stuff that would have prevented all those things above to work out..

and these are my resolutions.. inspired by R. Emerson and E.Porter

1. to laugh often and much
2. to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children
3. to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends
4. to appreciate beauty.
5. to find the best in others and to praise them loudly for it.
6. to make the world a better place whether by a happier child or senior person or a redeemed social condition.
7. to know even one life has breathed easier because I lived and loved.
8. to love generously as how Jesus would.
9. to live fully the life God created me to live.

I thank God for loving me and for teaching me to love others more and that life goes beyond just yourself.

here is 2009, full of faith, hope, love, expectation, enthusiasm, peace and joy! I;m coming to GET YOU!

有些事我只想要对你说, 因祢比任何人都爱我..

2008-11-22T00:43:00.002+08:00

"有些事我只想要对你说, 因祢比任何人都爱我.."
(there are things that i only want to say to you, because You are the ONe who loves me the most)

this phrase changed my life forever. so often i tend to look back and wonder what is it that makes me want to live OUT my passion and not just settle for complacency or second best. its not because of the things that i have or havent done, not because of my past achievements or what i have done right. you might understand when i say that past mistakes might make you feel inadequate or undeserving a good life. but what happens if i say that even the good things that you did RIGHT also might STILL leave you empty inside.

this changed when i heard this fact. knowing that there is something and someone higher than me that knows me inside out and lvoes me for who I am, not for what i have or have not done. Nothing i can or cannot do can make God love me more. Ofcourse I want to make Him happy by living honourably and with integrity. But for those who dont, He loves them the same, not anymore than me.

Another song that resonated so much with me is "I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman. This song made a very very deep impression in me from the very first time i heard it nearly 7 years ago. The viewpoint of this song is a husband singing to the wife. This song taught me so much above what true love is. For one, its not just about romantic love, but true love gives assurance, comfort, safety, understanding, patience, faithful during trials and tribulations, rejoies in accomplishments, comforting in failures and giving grace to mistakes. True love also stays strong together in seasons of change and transition, loving each other even when the mirror tells us we're older and most of all ,thanking God for the wonderful person He prepared for you.

My point is.. the love the husband has for his wife showed me how much God loves me. This love runs deep. Ive posted another version of it sung by Passion (dont know if its his real name) awesome stuff ..

Best photos for this season...

2008-11-20T00:29:00.003+08:00

To all the people i love.. hope you are all doing great.. more updates soon ! LOve YOU!

Good question..do answer ya

2008-11-09T23:54:00.002+08:00

What would you think or feel if you knew that someone had you in mind since before the Foundations of the World. He loved you before the beginning of time, has come for you, and now calls you to journey toward and with the person, for the consummation of your love?

Do drop your comments.. just want to know how you would feel or think..

Gish's 22nd birthday

2008-11-09T00:29:00.003+08:00

I didnt know wer to put this.. if put on facebook, then will be like 0 privacy.. so decided to put here la.. Open for viewing of all fishes and non-fishes alike =)

We will find each other =)

2008-11-05T22:45:00.008+08:00

Pic: Beautiful sunset on my birthday 28 Oct 08, taken approx at 6.15pm at Sentosa Island. This pic means a thousand words to me =)

Finalleeeee... blog update. as i was reading one of the pieces from my then 'private' journal, i found this very interesting piece that i wrote on 12 Jul 07... time has flown pass since then.. and i thought i might be old enough and ok to share a bit on my outlook of what it means to me to have a lifepartner =) i seldom talk about this in public, hehe, so this is quite a bit step for me ya~ if you're looking for any juicy details, im sorry ya.. there is none. so its ok if you stop reading the rest of my blog.. but maybe if you do want to get to know me a bit more.. im here.

so.. welcome to my world on 12 July 2007>>

12 Jul 2007

Given much thought, what I can conclude till this day is that finding a life partner or one that I would fondly refer to as my team mate that would fulfill all the qualities and I mentioned above (previous journal..not gonna give you the details la..=P) is rather.. difficult? I guess. But deep down I know that it isn’t impossible though. Because if I had never met a person with one or more of those qualities, I wouldn’t have as much of an idea as I do now, on knowing what kind of person I would want to spend the rest of my life on earth with. It might not be that one person with all those qualities, but different people, each with their uniquely good qualities. Haha. Actually it’s a combination of those different people that bring about a ‘collection’ of qualities. That of what makes the best match.

Based on just this, one might be tempted to think : “Then, can I have them all?”. That’s ridiculous! Of course NOT. What are you thinking? Pengsan! So, I guess, that in finding a team mate, I’ve accepted the fact that the point is not on finding the perfect mate, but the best match to those qualities. If we’re looking for perfection, we’re bound for disappointment because we’ll never ever find it. Think rationally and moderately and you’ll agree with this.

Hehe. This is indeed an interesting topic.. Last night at cell group, my friend shared her testimony on relationships she’d had and lost. Some were very close friends, tuition mates, church friends, school friends.. they all varied. Many times you thought that it was going to work out, but eventually didn’t. Then she turned around and asked God, why was this happening to me. I guessed that at some point, we do give in to peer pressure, that we get nervous and impatient when we see that all those around us are already in relationships, some even getting married, and we hadn’t even been one steady relationship yet.

Many guys have crossed my path, come and gone. Many have impacted my life in one way or the other, for the better or for worse. So, is it that my expectations exceed reality? Am I looking for the impossible? Looking back again on the top most of this post, I will confidently say, No, I’m quite rational about this. It’s not impossible. I just haven’t met that person yet. Or even if I have, I haven’t got to know the person well enough to discover those qualities in him. So, the conclusion is yet.. the same. Time will tell. At the same time, Father God, do mold me to be the kind of person with the kind of qualities that that person is looking for to be his team player.

This way, I believe that we will indeed find each other =)

the power statement about Beauty

2008-09-11T00:23:00.004+08:00

i just came across this wonderful statement

“Beauty overwhelms us, enchants us, fascinates us, and calls us.” (Fr. Andrew Greeley)

The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift.

To come unguarded, undistracted, and be fully present and fully engaged with the one whom we are with.

Have you noticed in reading the Gospels that people enjoyed being around Jesus?

They wanted to be near him – to share a meal, take a walk, have a lingering conversation.

It was the gift of his presence.

When you were with him, you felt he was offering you his heart.

When we offer our unguarded presence, we live like Jesus.

And we invite others to do the same.

(Captivating, 138)

Through the years, i've come to learn a very inportant thing about beauty.. to me..

Beauty is underrated, true beauty is being exploited, and beauty is anything but skin deep.

Beauty reminded me of one of my FAVOURITE Disney cartoon of all times, Sleeping Beauty.. she was ofcourse extreamly beauty, (as the animators have drawn) but since then, something within me knws that there MUST be so much more to this beauty.. she has so much more to offer. God's beauty is reflected in all these.. through the many wonderfully beautiful things around, we have just seen just a teeny weeny fraction of God's beauty..

Great people Great moments Great God in our midsts

2008-09-06T12:15:00.011+08:00

haha i taktahan but need to naikkan this photos just for laughs and for memories sake.. these are few of my happiest moments amidst all the other chaoses in my life =)

At Caleb and Mabel's Wedding =)

Actually we were more interested in the flowers~
One of our 1st networkees group fotos.. one of the pros: we take great photos together =P Things we do at weddings "-_-
Supposed to be an emo- Top Model type of pose.. but Connie and Mary were not cooperating!

After countless retakes.. we finally got the best non-shake portrait. You have no idea how much effort was put in for this..

Jac's Bday at Ampang Korean BBQ

A Peeping Jac.. its like.. the rest if her face is the car seat.. muahahahMichi hugs Lydia.. and Jo can't stand it.. either that or she's desperate to get in the fotoNegotiating whether to let Jo take photos with us. Michi says no, but Lydia says "its ok la.. pity her"Finally we still let her take foto with us.. if not we wudnt have taken such a nice foto =)Taking a rest after eating too much too fastAfter reconciling over a meal, Jo and Michi became good friends.Until can smile while sleeping... =)Presenting..the bday gal.. Shes 2nd from the right, her name is Jaclyn and shes is X yrs old the day b4 we took this pic.Mr Camera man joined the fotoJo spotted a cicak! But we cared more about taking nice pics Michi loves Batman!Then the rest spotted many other cicaks.. Michi grew metal extensions on her ears.The food was finger..and chopticks lickin' good =)Cheers! Barly water

Lalalala tomoro is my 1st real holiDAY.. yes only one day

2008-09-01T00:27:00.003+08:00

hey lovely humans.. i suddenly feel like i miss many people.. missed out on a lots of important events.. missed out on a very big chunck of LIFE. blame it on the exams la!!

these are a few of my regrets:

1. not being able to join the Chong Hws High School 3rd Scout Troop Reunion

2. not being able to spend time with TCC b4 she went back to Cardiff

3. not being able to spend time with LLH thru the harder times in life

4. not being able to spend time with my CG and section mbrs.. i sooo miss them

5. not learning up on my Photoshop shop skills (even wen iv installed cs2 like.. 5months ago)

6. not able to start learning drums again.. (even wen i have 2 new pais of sticks)

7. not reading the newspapers for 8 months

8. not replying enough emails as in should

9. not washing my car when it needs to be washed (you have NO IDEA)

10. not getting enough sleep

11. not spending enough time with God. ( i almost ALWAYS keep Him waiting, i would be so sien of myself if i were Him, so thank goodness im not)
12. not spending enough time with my family (padahal they will always have time for me =( )

13. not living in the moment

well..these are just a few of my greatest regrets.. you people in my life mean SO SO SO much to me. its absolutely true, even if i dont show it. i'll be working on it guys.. i promise =)

other things that have made headlines in my life recently are Connie's bday, UCSI CF CPR, and CF G.O. Camp.. pictures are everywer guys.. i cant keep track also.. do log on to facebook.com for almost all of the pics..

im pretty fine now. after spending almost 2months in the 'desert' alone... with God. things that i've learn in the desert are:

1. to attempt to change the world without changing ourselves is a hopeless task

2. Jesus not only invites us to a new beginning, but also offers us a NEW LIFE and a NEW HEART.

3. The desrt adventure is for those who are committed to being a voice to, and not merely and echo of, the society.

4. The desert produces real people

5. In the pain i have found purpose, in the suffering i have learn perseverence, and in the loneliness i have met Jesus.

6. In order to lean on Him, we must first acknowledge that we cannot walk by ourselves.

God met me at my lowest point. I was LITERALLY all alone in these pass 2 months. I still thank God for dearest friends who have been there for me.. when i met the car accident, who took me to the workshops, who accompanied me to study for my finals for ridiculous amount of hours, who offered a shoulder to lean on, and ears to listen to me complain about life.. God bless u guys and gals!! I know it is by NO accident that you were where you were during that time. All sent by God for me, no matter what you have done. Even by just being there, you have helped me and are a great encouragement to me. THANK YOU ALL.. Love you soo much!

勇敢

2008-08-13T10:25:00.004+08:00

約書亞記 1 (Joshua 1)
5 你平生的日子，必无一人能在你面前站立得住。我怎样与摩西同在，也必照样 与你同在 ； 我必不撇下你，也不丢弃你 。

6 你当刚强壮胆！ 因为你必使这百姓承受那地为业， 就是我向他们列祖起誓应许赐给他们的地。

7 只要刚强，大大壮胆 ，谨守遵行我仆人摩西所吩咐你的 一切律法，不可偏离左右，使你无论往那里去，都可以顺利。

8 这律法书不可离开你的口 ， 总要昼夜思想 ，好使你 谨守遵行这书上所写的一切话 。如此， 你的道路就可以亨通，凡事顺利。

9 我岂没有吩咐你麽？ 你当刚强壮胆！不要惧怕，也不要惊惶；因为你无论往那里去，耶和华 ─ 你的　神必与你同在。

"Desert Song" by Fraser

This is my prayer in the battle, when trimph is still on its way,
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I'll stand.

All of my life, in every season, YOU are still God,
I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship!!

In Joshua 1, God told Joshua REPEATEDLY to be strong and of good courage, be strong and courageous, for He WILL be with him wherever he goes. 你当刚强壮胆！不要惧怕，也不要惊惶；因为你无论往那里去，耶和华 ─ 你的　神必与你同在 .

Even while being stuck in this narrow place yet again, in the the battle with the Enemy for my life, my money, and my future..one thing remains.. I have a promise that I will NOT be left alone.

Bleeding Love by Mark & Chelsea (So You Think You Can Dance)

2008-07-21T10:29:00.003+08:00

love the choreography for Bleeding Love.. dancers Mark & Chelsea are greatt!

and Will & Katee doing Pas De Deux, dancing to Imagine by David Archuleta

PASSION World Your 2008

2008-07-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hia hia hia! Passion is finally here!! 3 Aug08 can't wait mann.. so kanchiong on what God's gonna do.. He's gonna show up we'll all be blown away yet again. Yeshh! Hearts are gonna touched, lives restored, sickness and diseases banished, people are going to experience a love so great they have never heard or known!

then im thinking, cheh.. it should be happening everyday and not just in a concert or conference. But then again, this is a good chance with good music and a great atmosphere!! hehe i can't wait =P go here: http://www.268generation.com

de:of sire:the father

2008-07-15T22:59:00.005+08:00

These pics were taken at the Rumah Hope's open day. last pic taken with Hock Pung and Chee Wai- 2 of the many most beautiful children in my life. ohh! and i got a face-painting too, just INCASE you didnt' notice =)

here's a few quotes from BillJohnson's Supernatural Power Of The Transformed Mind.. ( now u all know why i liked Transformers so much!! i love anythingto do with Kingdom stuff) haha i feel its too precious and awesome not to share.. ask me if you don't know what I'm talking about =P

Sometimes we think that if we really desire something, it must not be from God. It's as if we serve barbaric God who wants to wipe out anything that springs from our own hearts. On the contrary, God is enamored of your desires. He wants to see what makes you tick. That's where pleasure is derived, when dreams and desires spark dialogue and interaction, and the co-labouring begins!

Co-labouring is a huge aspect of ministry that many of us simply don't understand, because true friendship with God is so foreign to us.

We don't dream independent of God, but because of Him. There IS room for our desires, creativity and ideas.

He essentially said, "I'm going to give you one huge idea, and I want it to shape every breath of your life, every bit of ministry, every prayer. The idea is: 'On earth as it is in heaven'. Now, go! Run with it. Make it happen."

God trusts the heart of a man who is lost in friendship with Him. As we come into intimacy with Him, more of what takes place is a result of our desires..

'I see what moves the Father, and I allow what moves HIM to set MY course'.

The work we do with God bears our imprints and His. That's why even the present outpourings and revivals taking place across the world have completely different manifestations but the same Holy Spirit because they flow through people with different gifting, personalities, relationships, and cultural settings.

Dreaming with God unlocks deep reservoirs of creativity in each and every person, in different areas of gifts and talent.

Religion, cruel and boring, bottles up the creative impulse God has out inside of every person. We're descendants of the Creator and yet we stick to old, tired, and boring methods. We ask God to do a new thing through us, but expect Him to do it in a familiar way.

UNfortunately, religion has programmed us to shut down anything that might be a personal desire, so we let the world around us do the dreaming, and we draft into their dream.

phewww some solid stuff to chew on for the week or so.. TA~

Just for fun: Backstreet Boys Live in M'sia 2008

2008-06-20T08:32:00.004+08:00

forgot i had these pics =P really miss those more carefree times! thanks for the tics Lam and Robin!! Everybody..yea.. rock your body..yea.. everybody.. rock your body right..

BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRITE!! (*a bit delayed tho =P)

Rez week at UT

2008-06-16T11:27:00.003+08:00

Few power statement from one of Ps. Jaeson Ma's sessions in University of Texas. its mostly stuff that has hit me hard, and convicted me of all of the stuff that i have been doing around church and CF and hospital ministry. This is what God actually wants: our whole heart.

you can watch his message videos here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0rB7Gj6ki0 or just type Jaeson Ma on youtube

we can give our offerings, we can take notes. But if it doesnt produce change, what's the POINT?
we're not called to do church, we're called to make disciples. Jesus said "I will build my church". You go and make disciples.
Disciple: a radical abandonment to any loyalties in your life, and give your heart in complete submission, surrender and Lordship to Jesus.
when we pray "Your kingdom come, Your will be done..." what are we talking or praying about? The kingdom of God is when God is king over someones heart. Now you know what you're actually praying about? Is God the king of our hearts?
unless we abide in the vine, everything that we do is for nothing!
your significance doesnt come from what you do, but from who you are. You are a beloved child of God.
the most fierce fighters are the most radical lovers. they dont fight because they have to fight, but because they are motivated by a passion and for a love.
when we're satisfied with Jesus alone, we will just be compelled to GO and love others.
when you make a choice to set yourself apart, God knows it, and will reveil Himself to you

Dick & Rick Hoyt: Inspired by Passion, What a Father would for his child

2008-05-31T12:56:00.003+08:00

for The Passion Quest we had in CF on friday, this video was shown as part of the quest. It touched my heart so much! i hope it moves and inspires you too!!

My Prayer Every Morning (My desired* Prayer Every Morning)

2008-05-31T11:19:00.003+08:00

Especially during the past 1 month.. every morning of everyday was spent rushing to some place to get soooomething done. I've been in this confusing, unclear, sort of blur, unfocused condition every since i finished my last sem's final exams. I felt i sort of lost of control of things happening around me. Being the sort of person that normally *or at least most of the time having things under control.. this felt terrible. No matter how hard i tried to get things sorted out, or at LEAST stop them from going out of hand.. they just never seem to work out the way I thought they would. At one of the many points in my life... I've lost control. Whats going on?

Then when reality suddenly struck me 2 days ago.. when I totally lost control of something, i thought "Goshhh... whats happening God? what did i do wrong or didnt do right? Somehow, did YOU allow things to go thisss wrong? why??" then it hit me again..

UNknowingly all this while, my statement in my mind itself was terribly wrong.. "However i try to fix things, I'm still loosing control" I've resorted into relying on myself..my un-smart self, to get things in order, leaving Jesus at the edge of the picture, just being the frame. Many times while driving to college or driving back home, I talked to God about things..how dreadful i feel about situations around me.. how guilty i felt not being able to love and care enough for those who needed it.. and how much strength and effort was lost focusing on people and situations that were unimportant and not urgent, despite being reminded time and time again that it is UNIMPORTANT. i even made a pack with God that im taking it off my life list altogether, NO MORE.. but God knows best that at the back of my mind, it was still bothering me. in all my planning, i left God out.. goshh i feel like such a loser~

then this morning, something led me to watch this video..Lead Me To The Cross by hillsong & Fraser.. and this is what it said to me:

Saviour I come, quiet my soul, remember..
Redemption's hill where Your blood was spilled, for my ransom
Everything i once held dear, i count it all as loss

Chorus:
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees, Lord i lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to You
O lead me, Lead me to the cross

You were as i, tempted and tried, HUMAN
The Word became flesh, bore my sin and death
Now You're risen
Everything I once held dear, i count it all as loss

Bridge:
To Your heart.. To Your Heart..
Lead me to Your heart...

and as Brooke said in the video blog, 'Jesus lead me to the cross in every situation I'm in today, let the cross be the central point of focus. Always lead me back to here Lord, whatever happens!'

Prov 16
vs 3 says: commit to the Lord everything you do, and your plans WILL succeed
vs 9 says: a man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his paths

I dont really know what I'm going to do next in terms of planning, but one thing I want to change is to stop looking at myself, what i have done in the past, or what iv planned for my future, because its in His hands. In all this, my dear Lord was trying to get my attension, He wanted my attension. He wanted my heart for Himself. Ah... a jealous God. I love Him because He loved me first! and as weak and tactless as I am, lead me back to Your heart.. dear dear Lord!

Quote from Steven Curtis Chapman

2008-05-24T02:29:00.001+08:00

"We've really wondered whether or not we should just go to China and stay there. But I don't think so. I believe God is saying, 'I want you to go, get your heart broken, your eyes opened, and then take this story back to the church in America and around the world.'"

A Tribute to the History Making Champions: Manchester United

2008-05-24T01:30:00.003+08:00

THIS WAS AN AWESOME GAME~~ im soooper honoured to have witnessed this part of history!!

There is much more to our redemption!!

2008-05-07T12:11:00.002+08:00

The core of Christ’s mission is foretold in Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. (v. 1)

The Messiah will come, he says, to bind up and heal, to release and set free. What? Your heart. Christ comes to restore and release you, your soul, the true you.

So take him at his word—ask him in to heal all the broken places within you and unite them into one whole and healed heart. Ask him to release you from all bondage and captivity, as he promised to do. As George MacDonald prayed, “Gather my broken fragments to a whole . . . Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart, but make it a whole, with light in every part.” But you can’t do this at a distance; you can’t ask Christ to come into your wound while you remain far from it. You have to go there with him.

(Wild at Heart , 128–29)

Im amazed at God's passion for our hearts, the deepest part of our being. He wants nothing more than it. Yet most of the time we live our lives so UNCOncoius of He's existence. Its as though being married but living like our husbands never existed. Yet while we were at our wastefulness, He still came to us and gave HIs life, just to have our 'wasted' life back. Because to Him, it was all He wanted.

Would you bear to see someone do this for you? I immediately think that im not worth anything even NEAR to that. But that is how much He loved me. He made me beautiful, fearce and fearless in Him. To Him I am everything. and i want to respond the same.

some one quoted a line from the drama series One Tree Hill: "all that girls want is someone who wants them back". i know i have found the one who wants me, all of me. In Him, this is where the love lasts forever.

Thank you my dear dear dear Lord, for more than redemption.

turning from attachment to >> desire

2008-04-29T19:41:00.003+08:00

So much of the journey forward involves a letting go of all that once brought us life.

We turn away from the familiar abiding places of the heart, the false selves we have lived out, the strengths we have used to make a place for ourselves and all our false loves, and we venture forth in our hearts to trace the steps of the One who said, “Follow me.”

In a way, it means that we stop pretending: that life is better than it is, that we are happier than we are, that the false selves we present to the world are really us. We respond to the Haunting, the wooing, the longing for another life. Pilgrim begins his adventure toward redemption with a twofold turning: a turning away from attachment and a turning toward desire. He wanted life and so he stuck his fingers in his ears and ran like a madman (“a fool,” to use Paul’s term) in search of it.

The freedom of heart needed to journey comes in the form of detachment. As Gerald May writes in Addiction and Grace, Detachment is the word used in spiritual traditions to describe freedom of desire. Not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire . . . An authentic spiritual understanding of detachment devalues neither desire nor the objects of desire. Instead, it “aims at correcting one’s own anxious grasping in order to free oneself for committed relationship to God.” According to Meister Eckhart, detachment “enkindles the heart, awakens the spirit, stimulates our longings, and shows us where God is.”

With an awakened heart, we turn and face the road ahead, knowing that no one can take the trip for us, nor can anyone plan our way.

(The Sacred Romance , 149)

Few of my fav Homeboy pics

2008-04-24T16:10:00.002+08:00

even people like him crack up pretty often...we're human afterallll

God bless him richly!!!

Silly but true: One Tree Hill

2008-04-17T17:56:00.004+08:00

most people who know me long enough, know that i loved to watch One Tree Hill.. i was always there at 8pm on thursday getting ready at StarWorld. Unfortunately the season stalled at Season 4..and i miss it even now. My fav character on the series was Peyton Sawyer. The lovely Peyton who would do anything for people she loved.

Then i did this random test on Tickle.com on

Which One Tree Hill Character Are You?
and to my amazement this is the test result:

Michelle, you're Peyton Sawyer

Sure, you're one tough cookie, but that doesn't mean you're tough at the center. When it comes to the things you're passionate about, you probably don't mind letting your feelings show. Most of your friends think of you as someone who's with them through good and bad. You usually do your best to be good to the people you care about, even when it means making the really tough decisions.Okay, sometimes you lose your way (and maybe your temper, too) and things end up more complicated than they need to be. But one of the best things about being totally hard core is being able to bounce back no matter what. In the end, most of the people you love know just how much they mean to you even if you don't always know the right way to show it.

when i got the result i was like ..."yesssssssssssshhhhh! muahahahah"

silly to be so excited about things like this right?? haha its becoz that SO ME.. =) hehe

"Shadowfeet" by Brooke Fraser

2008-04-11T17:32:00.004+08:00

sorry guys... i cant get enough~ but this is for myself anyway =P
do let the lyrics speak to your heart!

"Shadowfeet"

Walking,stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home,a land that i've never seen
I am changing: less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS]
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way

[CHORUS]

You make all things new

[CHORUS]

[CHORUS 2]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

"Albertine" by Brooke Fraser with Children in Rwanda

2008-04-08T21:14:00.004+08:00

God had led this great gal yet again to write about what is on His heart. Get ready for this in our own lives. Get ready !

"Albertine"

I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
her mothers voice over me
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent
And on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine
there in her eyes what I don't see with my own
rwanda

[CHORUS]
now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

I am on a plane across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
and the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet Rwanda

[CHORUS]

[BRIGDE]
I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my wordI will tell them Albertine

[CHORUS]

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine

This Revolution is simple: Love God, Love people. This is a re-post of my blog post in 11 Aug 2007: A Reminder from God

2008-03-24T21:35:00.003+08:00

Joel talks irony in his message on this webbie:

"I don't know about you.. but if our generation is remembered for ipods, myspace, and youtube we missed it.. if history speaks of our generation as self indulgent pioneers of the digital age, reality television and purpose built celebrity we'll have failed.. the world will change by itself.. for better or for worse.. it changes daily.. but who will be the ones to shape it.. and how will it look?
in and of itself revolution is neither good or bad.. revolution represents change.. a shift in culture.. History is marked by revolutions.. social and political.. some have represented victory, freedom and justice, however on the flip-side.. too many have become infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice.. all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.. for the church – the hands and feet of Jesus and His plan for the salvation of this big, broken sphere of dirt, water and life we temporarily call home, this has never sounded with more urgency..

it's time for a revolution.. fuelled by a dissatisfaction with self-centred living and complacent faith.. driven by a desire for truth, love and justice..that's what this is all about…
every generation needs a revolution.. and this one needs to look, sound, walk and breathe like love..

Love God.. love people.. that's it.. that's the revolution.. revolutionary I know.. but if we understand what that means.. if we get it.. if we establish in our thinking how that looks.. and we start living it.. we will change the world.. it's not so much about the big stuff.. it's just about the stuff.. it's about the people in the places being the answer - in the places.. and together; becoming the answer to the big stuff.. it's about your backyard.. it's about my backyard..
it's the fundamental call of what it means to be a follower of Christ.. "

to stop to think, and really wonder what if our only lifetime, starts and ends just here on earth. and after that, non-existence. what would i live for? what would i love and fight for?
a hard fact states that, many people do take this literally, and that's all they know. another hard fact is that this world is lead by many of these people. and in the very VERY near future, US. the ones with the ipods plugged in our ears, the latest Sony 5510i in our hands and laptops on our laps since we were born. how would these kind of walking and talking gadjets shape this world??

as mentioned above. we NEEED a Revolution. badly. History is marked by revolution. social..political.. all have brought out what people, communities and countries are today. and those that have lead to infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice, all it took is for evil to prosper and for good men to do nothing.

good men? so much for them. but look at ourselves. what do we consider ourselves? and what are the results of our action or inaction so far? as far as we have come? this is to consider.
deep down, i have made a commitment to be a part of this revolution. to be God's answer in my place for the people i can and touch. and make sure that it looks, sounds, walks and breathes like love. God's very own love.

i also consider myself a disciple. that means i have to look, sound, walk and breathe like one. sounds like an uphill crawl or upstream paddling? then, that's what grace is for. and THAT's whats so amazing about it. it not only pulls you through, it causes you to reach those heights you never ever dreamed of.

haha
the bible says that its enough for us and that our Father's strength would be made perfect in our weaknesses.

This very heart You have shaped for Your pleasure, purposed to life Your name high. I thank You dear, dear Lord.

Things are MORE than meets the eye. Really.

2008-03-21T10:14:00.002+08:00

Deep awesome solid stuff again from Ransomed Heart.. here goes..

We live in two worlds—or better, in one world with two parts, one part that we can see and one part that we cannot. We are urged, for our own welfare, to act as though the unseen world (the rest of reality) is, in fact, more weighty and more real and more dangerous than the part of reality we can see. The lesson from the story of the Emmaus Road—the lesson the whole Bible is trying to get across—begins with this simple truth: There is more going on here than meets the eye. Far more.

(Waking the Dead , 26–27, 29)

Whats been going on recently... Part 1

2008-03-19T23:39:00.006+08:00

hey all.. too much has been going on in these pass few weeks and months.. so heres some of my goofy photos to laught at. just for gags =P *ofcoz not all are for gags.. but all photos share 1 thing in common- all are taken with the people i love the most. Love you all!

LIFE-RW Easter Rally Promo Video

2008-03-17T14:57:00.003+08:00

Come and have your life rewritten!

Goofy and Friends

2008-03-17T09:46:00.002+08:00

The senario: Apparently michi is 'dead'. Calvin is checking the pulse and confirming the 'death'. Meiling, connie, colleen and moni are the morners. meiling is showing some sadness but connie is apparently laughing and very happy at my 'death'. moni is fanning me in hopes that i will wake up.. ray the photographer is having fun watching the disaster.

then,meiling put the sweaty cloth over my face. then suddenly michi swings the cloth away. watt? shes alive again! ahah the the wrold rejoices...

God be THE solution!!

2008-03-17T01:13:00.005+08:00

woww the last time i posted about GOD BE THE SOLUTION is in september 2007...
this song had been speaking to me and changing whatever perspective i had about ministry... the lyrics speak for itself.. this has thrown me forward into what i am doing right now. I;ve learn that ultimately, ministry is ALL about loving God and loving people.. its impossible to worship God without carrying out His love and will- to love people and to see justice on earth as what it is exactly like in heaven right now.

V:
it is NOT a human right to stand and not fight
while broken nations dream
open up our eyes so blind that we might find the mercy for the need
singing' hey now
fill our hearts with Your compassion
as we hold to our confession..

it is not too far a cry too much to try
to help the least of these
politics will NOT decide if we should rise
to be Your hands and feet

higher than all circumstance Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
higher than ALL protest lines and Dollar signs
Your love is all we need..

C:
woaaahh God be the solution!
woaaahh we will be Your hands and be Your feet!

B:
We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet
We will run this race for the least of these!
in the DARKEST place we will be Your LIGHT!

christians reading this blog, i encourage you now and will KEEP ON DOING IT..the disasters in the world are as REAL as raw meat. the hurts and torments others went through and are still going through are real. the earth is too broken for us to be still standing in our comfortable 'my zone', wishing for WOrld Peace. our sitting and hoping for it will never bring it any closer to reality. Lets all be good hands and good feet for God towards our own fellow human beings- which are emotional beings just like us.

Lets get OUT there, let God be the solution in those people's lives. but you have to get OUT there 1st. Or you can stay inside and share Christ's death and resurrection to your pet turtle. Like i did a long time ago. LEtting Jesus touch lives through you is wayyy fun!! Its not just fun, its an adrenaline rush..!! Once you start, there's no such things as getting enough of it. Just like there's no such thing as loving a person too much.. We will go together!

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!

God be THE solution (video)

2008-03-17T01:08:00.001+08:00

Always Enough

2008-03-13T10:08:00.003+08:00

Book Review - There is Always Enough (Rolland & Heidi Baker)

This book tells the story of Rolland & Heidi Baker's remarkable ministry amongst the poor in Mozambique. After briefly covering the story of how they met and married, and their missionary work prior to Mozambique, the story quickly moves on to focusing on how they started reaching out to the poor with practical help and the gospel.

The story covers about six years from 1995 to 2001, which includes the devastating flooding of 2000.A number of features stood out for me in this book.

First, though they are working in one of the bleakest situations in the world, the book is anything but depressing and melancholic. Even when reporting the most tragic situations, they speak of the joy of seeing what Jesus was doing in the lives of the people there.

Second, while they report many amazing miracles, there is no romanticising or glamourising of their work. They are honest about setbacks and difficulties in the midst of amazing reviving work of the Holy Spirit.

Third, the book presents a passionate call to its readers to lay their lives down to serve the poor and needy without ever resorting to guilt manipulation, emotional blackmail or condemnation. Rolland & Heidi have an incredible capacity to love the most broken and needy people, and it seems to me to stem from an equally passionate love for Jesus. They are not living for this world. The challenge comes from realising that we need our own love for the Lord to increase so that he might change our hearts to love others more, and become less attached to the passing material possessions of this life.

Fourth, though both Rolland & Heidi are highly qualified in theology, it is clear that they devoted to simply presenting the gospel. This is not a book trying to prove that God is blessing them because they have got all the fine details of eschatology and eccleisolgy worked out. Their humility in this regard is striking. The book starts with Rolland saying that he wanted to believe and live the Sermon on the Mount - if Jesus says we can trust him without worrying about tomorrow then we can. You can see this worked out practically in the rest of the story, as they preach the gospel of trusting Jesus to these people who are poor financially and poor in Spirit.If the book has a weakness, it is that the story is not always filled in in as much detail as I would have liked. Some chapters are written by Rolland and some by Heidi, and they include diary entries. There are lots of little details that fill in interesting aspects to life in Mozambique, but in some places I felt there were gaps in the story.

In one chapter, they tell of a vision one of the children had. It was of Jesus saying that he was coming again, sooner than they expected. But he also said that feast was prepared but the church was not ready. They needed to wake up. The poor had not yet been invited to the feast. This is the heart-cry of this book. The poor must be invited to the feast. Heidi says, "we should stop every single time for each person". I can recommend this book as one that will inspire you, encourage you, and call you back to a first love for Jesus and a love for the lost.

Posted by Mark Heath on 19/08/2006 in Book Reviews.

*This is nt my review of the book.. just wanted it here for myself, and many others whom i encourage to read.. iv yet to buy my own..

taken frm http://www.wordandspirit.co.uk/blog/index.php?/archives/213-Book-Review-There-is-Always-Enough-Rolland-Heidi-Baker.html

To all beautiful girls and women, this is A Beauty Worth Persuing!

2008-03-12T23:59:00.003+08:00

I cant get enough of John Eldridge..seriously.. seriusly serious. Well this article talks about beauty being persued.. caught my attension the very 1st time i read it in Captivating.. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book.. especially to all girls.. AND guys. BEAUTY BEAUTY AND MORE BEAUTY..hahah.. prepare your heart for this..>

The desire to be beautiful is an ageless longing.
Beauty has been extolled and worshiped and kept just out of reach for most of us. (Do you like having your picture taken? Do you like seeing those pictures later? How do you feel when people ask you your age? This issue of beauty runs deep!)
For others, beauty has been shamed, used, and abused. Some of you have learned that possessing beauty can be dangerous. And yet—and this is just astounding—in spite of all the pain and distress that beauty has caused us as women, the desire remains. And it’s not just the desire for an outward beauty, but more—a desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are.
Cinderella is beautiful, yes, but she is also good. Her outward beauty would be hollow were it not for the beauty of her heart. That’s why we love her. In The Sound of Music, the Countess has Maria beat in the looks department, and they both know it. But Maria has a rare and beautiful depth of spirit. She has the capacity to love whiskers on kittens and mean-spirited children. She sees the handiwork of God in music and laughter and climbing trees. Her soul is Alive. And we are drawn to her. Ruth may have been a lovely, strong woman, but it is to her unrelenting courage and vulnerability and faith in God that Boaz is drawn. Esther is the most beautiful woman in the land, but it is her bravery and her cunning, good heart that moves the king to spare her people. This isn’t about dresses and makeup . . . Don’t you recognize that a woman yearns to be seen and to be thought of as captivating?

We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil.

(Captivating , 16–17)

Can it get any true-er?

2008-03-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

By the grace of God, we cannot quite pull it off. In the quiet moments of the day we sense a nagging within, a discontentment, a hunger for something else. But because we have not solved the riddle of our existence, we assume that something is wrong—not with life, but with us. Everyone else seems to be getting on with things. What’s wrong with me? We feel guilty about our chronic disappointment. Why can’t I just learn to be happier in my job, in my marriage, in my church, in my group of friends?

You see, even while we are doing other things, “getting on with life,” we still have an eye out for the life we secretly want. When someone seems to have gotten it together, we wonder, How did he do it? Maybe if we read the same book, spent time with him, went to his church, things would come together for us as well. You see, we can never entirely give up our quest.

Gerald May reminds us, When the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. It is possible to run away from the desire for years, even decades, at a time, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. It keeps touching us in little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments. (The Awakened Heart) He says that even though we sleep, our desire does not. “It is who we are.” We are desire. It is the essence of the human soul, the secret of our existence. Absolutely nothing of human greatness is ever accomplished without it. Desire fuels our search for the life we prize. The same old thing is not enough. It never will be.

(The Journey of Desire , 10–11) John Eldridge

These few weeks have been perculiarly busy, so much so I almost forget what i had been doing at the end of the day. At the end of the week, lagi cannot remember.. Just found myself going on and on and on and on. Then at one point i stopped and decided to decline a meeting i had to attend. Because I realized that i had mixed up my priorities at that very moment.

I thought ' I need and desire something more than this to hold on to..something of eternal value'. Even though i was doing all sorts of things, my main desire was left untended. I neeeed to be out there sharing and talking about the good news.. more than anything else..Coz 'it kept touching me in mt dreams and unguarded moments'.. goshhh i need more.. more of God..more miracles.. more to life..

Is yours rewritable?

2008-02-21T16:40:00.003+08:00

.

Hi everyone, I'm blogging from Robin's computer, while he is playing the guitar at me..

BIG and GREAT news! UCSI CF is hosting this Easter Rally!! date, time, venue is alll stated in the beautiful posters and flyers that u'll get from me or anyone else in the committee..

Do bring your friends, families, colleagues, pets etc.. well, only your Facebook pets are allowed..

As God has put deep within our hearts the desire to see our whole campus rockin' and getting to know the best Life-saver SuperGod..

Life-RW gets us thinking of our our own lives.. How we have lived our lives, what have we shown and portrayed to others through the way we live our lives. and if given a chance, would you rewrite it? Do you have any regrets of the things that you did or said?

Would you have loved more passionately?
Would you have cared more sincerely?
Would you have shared your life-changing, mind-blogging testimony and boaST about the crazy amazing things God has done in your life?
Would you have DARED to share this blood-paid-for gospel and good news to your best friend who has not tasted anything even CLOSE to what you have?
Sounds selfishly harsh? Well, I can be the first to admit all this Would-haves.. I would want to rewrite every single moment of my life., to its perfection.

This is what we have all been desperately looking for. This one thing that you have desired.. the single thing that you have and will ever need- lies in ONE person>> The Saviour Jesus who gave His life, to get YOURS back. Thats how much He loved you, and that's how much He was willing to pay to get you back from the darkness.. He paid with His own life.

And this is His invitation to you: Come, and experience LIFE in ALL its FULLNESS!

if it isnt full at this moment, come and have it rewritten. Its free.. You CANNOT possible pay for it. You have NO WAY!! ::: NO ABILITY whatsoever!!

So come, its your own LIFE-RW

One Generation declares its faith to the next. This is the one thing that really matters:

2008-02-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

Its about loving God
Its about loving others

Its about BEING light in dark places
Its about being the church
Its about being the HANDS and FEET of Jesus

Its OUR CALL
Its OUR MISSION
and the time?

NOW

The iHeart-Revolution :: He'll be with us, if we are with them

2008-02-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

Talented fellow

2008-02-04T00:59:00.000+08:00

here's 'part' of my photo colection of this fellow. My prayer wish is that he will know the Father, the One that loved him first. oh yeah, and that he will get a good wife! ahah already in his 30s liao.. gotta get married soon rite??

haha a taste of Feminism at its core

2008-02-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

my best friend forwarded this e-mail to me.. it amuses me, yet reminds me that women were made specially, wonderfully, purposefully and lovingly by God. Beautiful, graceful and captivating. i dont necessarily agree with all that is written, but overall, most of it is quite true indeed..

This is a poem by Maya Angelou:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move outand rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...A

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind.....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward toretelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, and a cordl ess drill...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,whom she can't,and why she shouldn't ta ke it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

Head looking for the Heart

2008-01-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

its been rough journey involving HEART & HEAD. Somehow I find that our head and heart are on separate journeys, and neither feels like life. when i lost one, the other couldnt function normally. was really hard getting it al syncronized again. trying hard, but will try harder. i've definately learnt things the hard way this time. towards the end, as I pleaded in hopelessness, God did let me in on the details of what in the world was happening to me. He is allllwaaaays faithful. to meee =)

this week was a good time of recuberating for me. being out there in Uni with Godsent people who have helped me get through things was a great sense of relief.. phewww im thinking of mentioning names but..then again.. people who have been around me in Uni these pass week, you know who you are la.. Wanna thank you all for just appearing around me. Means a lot.

a Question asked 4 years ago, was just answered

2008-01-23T00:15:00.000+08:00

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me..
I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see!

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God my Saviour has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love! Amazing grace!

The Lord has promised good to me, His Word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures..

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, the sun forbears to shine
But God who called me here below, will be forever mine..
YOU are forever mine :)

I looked back to the title of my blog... it reads "when grace goes deep in a ransomed heart"
i had no idea that learning and living in especially in GRACE, will be the highlight of my pass few months and i believe..many long months to come.

The first title for this blog 4 years ago, back in 2004 when i was 18, was "whats so amazing about grace". some may know that its actually a title of a book written by Phillip Yancey, Meiling's favourite author. I was curious about the subject matter itself. really, whats so amazing about grace. i mean, i know what is grace and have experienced it saving me before.

Little did I know, that over these long 4 years, God has been answering my question- "whats so amazing about grace?" in more than a 100 ways

This different version is a new one by Chris Tomlin called- Amazing Grace (My chains are gone). Theres and additional chorus and 2 different verses to it.

Every word, every line in this song, is what I want to say to every person reading this posting of my blog. really.. This.. is my testimony, how Grace saved me.

Through all that has happened, bad, ugly, dreadful things that have happened, it was that amazing grace that saved a skilless, sometimes brainless, blurrhead wretch like me. It was grace that taught my heart to fear, to know the things that I know now, to refrain from the stupid things that I would have done and put God back in His place, where He should be, the highest place in my life. And grace relieved all my fears. The fear of dark situations, fear of being alone, fear of loosing my closest loved ones, fear or being small, fear of facing the unknown. How precioud did that grace appear, it was there ever since I welcomed Jesus into my life.

My chains are gone.. chains of anxiety, of fear, doubt, confusion, inferiority, hopelessness, loss of my heart, zero levels of compassion, lack of patience and emptiness... are gone. gone gone gone far far away. I've been set free! My God my Saviour has ransomed me! as I give it all to Him, Jesus the faithful intercessor bore it and carried it away. He payed the ransom to get me and my heart back from the devil. and like a flood His mercy rains. God doesnt drip, sprinkle, or wipes a bit of it on you, He prefers exaggeration... He POURS it, RAINS and FLOODS you with His mercy. I wonder if I could drown and die getting flooded by mercy. But that sounds quite impossible. back to the basics, its still that Unending love, that AMAZING grace!

not stopping yet =P

The Lord has promised good to me.. He is a good God and wants the best for me. In His word my hope is definately secure. He will be my shield and my portion as long as I live. Try beating that! HAHA The earth will fail, the sun will fail.. like I Am Legend..the fame, fortune, glamour, pride will fail, but because its God who called me here to live, He had already planned to take care of me. He will forever be mine.

This is how deep this song has gone in me. God literally answered my "whats sooooo amazing about grace question" by making me listen to this song. its like He's saying, "haha, now you know whats soo amazing about grace..I've been here all along my dear dear child. I never left. Even when things were going bad, actually i had allowed it. To make you grow. My grace is more than enough for you, and my strength is perfect when you feel you have none. The bad times were not made to last forever, so don't worry. I wont guarantee that it will be the last lesson on Grace, but I can tell that you've got it correctly. a few more edges to polish and you're set for now."

ummmmmm~~ bumpy ride it was. happened for the best it did ~ =P

My chains are gone

2008-01-22T10:19:00.000+08:00

we were once more than we are now

2008-01-20T14:00:00.000+08:00

Why does a woman long to be beautiful? Why does a man hope to be found brave? Because we remember, if only faintly, that we were once more than we are now. The reason you doubt there could be a glory to your life is because that glory has been the object of a long and brutal war.

(Waking the Dead, 13-14) by John Eldridge

whaaat a walk and whaaat a week it has been. i guess the saying "you never really know what you've got till you loose it" is rather true.. hahah funny la.. i feel that im contradicting myself =P

i better quote what i wanna say..

Quote John Eldridge again:

Just as we have lost our wonder at the world around us, we have forgotten what a treasure he human heart is. All of the hapiness we have ever known and all of the hapiness we hope to find is unreachable without a heart. You could not live or love or laug or cry had God not given you a heart.

aisehh i thought i got it back.. but i think i lost it somewhere sometime.. geramnyerr

good, deep, faithful memories

2008-01-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

for a few weeks i felt like a donut.. round and with a hole in the middle.

The truth about First Love.. and loosing it

2008-01-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

The waves of first love ebbed away in the whirlwind of Christian service and activity, and we began to lose the Romance. Our faith began to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life promised us by Christ. We moved our spiritual life into the outer world of activity, and internally we drifted.

We sensed that something was wrong, and we perhaps tried to fix it—by tinkering with our outer life. We tried the latest spiritual fad, or a new church, or simply redoubled our commitment to make faith work. Still, we found ourselves weary, jaded, or simply bored. Others of us immersed ourselves in busyness without really asking where all the activity was headed. At one point in my own spiritual pilgrimage, I stopped to ask myself this question: “What is it that I am supposed to be doing to live the spiritual life in any way that is both truthful and passionately alive?”

in the end,its still about the heart

2008-01-15T01:22:00.000+08:00

In the end, it doesn’t matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished—a life without heart is not worth living.

For out of this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. Our faith, hope, and love issue from this fount, as well. Because it is in our heart that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love.

So you can see that to lose heart is to lose everything. And a “loss of heart” best describes most men and women in our day. It isn’t just the addictions and affairs and depression and heartaches, though, God knows, there are enough of these to cause even the best of us to lose heart. But there is the busyness, the drivenness, the fact that most of us are living merely to survive. Beneath it we feel restless, weary, and vulnerable.

Indeed, the many forces driving modern life have not only assaulted the life of our heart, they have also dismantled the heart’s habitat—that geography of mystery and transcendence we knew so well as children. All of us have had that experience at one time or another, whether it be as we walked away from our teachers, our parents, a church service, or sexual intimacy; the sense that something important, perhaps the only thing important, had been explained away or tarnished and lost to us forever.

Sometimes little by little, sometimes in large chunks, life has appropriated the terrain meant to sustain and nourish the wilder life of the heart, forcing it to retreat as an endangered species into smaller, more secluded, and often darker geographies for its survival . As this has happened, something has been lost, something vital.

(The Sacred Romance, 3-5)

chun fotos

2008-01-10T01:22:00.000+08:00

some fotos taken on Prakash's then new apple 'dunno how many inches screen' monitor.. now we know what he does when he's bored in the office.. He's the Mr. Macho Man with the super Macho hands bigger than his head in the 1st pic.. was all taken last sem.. and stilll making me laff +P

hah! found it

2008-01-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

The Bible sees the heart as the source of all creativity, courage, and conviction. It is the source of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love.
It can be steadfast, true, upright, stout, valiant.

It can also be frightened, faint, cowardly, melt like wax.

But, it also can be wandering, forgetful, dull, stubborn, proud, hardened.

It is the “wellspring of life” within us (Prov. 4:23), the very essence of our existence, the center of our being, the fount of our life.

There is no escaping the centrality of the heart. God knows that; it’s why he made it the central theme of the Bible, just as he placed the physical heart in the center of the human body.

and, YES!

i found it.back.

few days ago, i was almost quite lost. and as the passages says that the heart does grow 'dull', 'wandering', 'stubborn', and 'hardened'. but it is also the 'very essence of our existence'. this way, it can be assumed that: if our hearts are wandering and far away, then at those moments, we were not fully present in our lives. Wherever we are, with whomever we may be with, our bodies are there buy 'we'- the essence, were not there.

creepy? but thats true.

after sometime drawing back closer to Jesus, i got my heart back. Jesus said that i am human and that it was ok. He was the right person i went to.

now i have my VALIANT heart back! wooohooo im here now. im back! and it feels gooood!

p.s. pics below are frm Jon's bday on 1Jan at MdmKwans.. some weird but memorable photos..

something's missing

2008-01-05T04:25:00.000+08:00

hah! i knew it! these few days opening up the new year has been nothing but weird. weird in the sense that i feel totally lost in transition or something.. something is missing but i just couldnt figure out what. im currently in the kind of sesat mode, where i have no idea if its someting wrong with me, or the things around me. most probably is me. i was not well the pass 3days and down with flu, fever, headache, body ache- the common combo.

now i'm suddenly awake at 4am, turning around, cant sleep. grabbed my computer and decided to check my email. and unsurprizingly, there it is. the daily e-mail from Ransomed Heart.com.

for today 4/1/08 the title is A Passionate Voice Within. here goes..

Some years into our spiritual journey, after the waves of anticipation that mark the beginning of any pilgrimage have begun to ebb into life’s middle years of service and busyness, a voice speaks to us in the midst of all we are doing. There is something missing in all of this, it suggests. There is something more.

The voice often comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of morning, when our hearts are most unedited and vulnerable. At first, we mistake the source of this voice and assume it is just our imagination. We fluff up our pillow, roll over, and go back to sleep. Days, weeks, even months go by and the voice speaks to us again: Aren’t you thirsty? Listen to your heart. There is something missing.

We listen and we are aware of . . . a sigh. And under the sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within; it feels reckless, wild.

We tell ourselves that this small, passionate voice is an intruder who has gained entry because we have not been diligent enough in practicing our religion. Our pastor seems to agree with this assessment and exhorts us from the pulpit to be more faithful. We try to silence the voice with outward activity, redoubling our efforts at Christian service. We join a small group and read a book on establishing a more effective prayer life. We train to be part of a church evangelism team. We tell ourselves that the malaise of spirit we feel even as we step up our religious activity is a sign of spiritual immaturity, and we scold our heart for its lack of fervor.

Sometime later, the voice in our heart dares to speak to us again, more insistently this time. Listen to me—there is something missing in all this. You long to be in a love affair, an adventure. You were made for something more. You know it.

- The Sacred Romance, ransomedheart.com

i think its the most ma fan thing, when it is the issue of the heart. We scold our heart for its lack of passion, for not being good enough and not measuring up to the standards that are set. Iv accomplished many things, yet I feel lousy about myself now. i wonder: how come others look like they're are measuring up, and doing so effortlessly? serving God has been joyful this pass Christmas season. Even while working through the night, minor conflicts with people groups and all, it was still joyful. After all this, a voice deep down comes and outrightly tells you, "Listen to me, there is something missing in all this. You were made for something more, you know it!"

yes ok. i know it. but what is it? what is that 'something more'?

all the answers to all these Qs are in the bible. now, this is the time i think i need to go into fasting and prayer. learn to see things from God's perspective. Worship is all about Him.

Yes God, i am thirsty. I'm listening now, and yes, there is something missing indeed.

You are strength & hope like NO OTHER

2007-12-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

ups and downs, and ups again...then when you're starting to enjoy the ups, things go down again.. guess this cycle will never really end..

but the great thing about this life is...no number of ups and downs can actually pull you down. THINGS mite, but I wont. coz im standing on a rock solid foundation-bought by and fully paid for by flesh and blood. A little too much to pay for my ups and downs? i think so too

apparently, not only my ups and downs are paid for. My escape from hell, and VIP pass to enter the gates of heaven, having my name written on the ever so famous Book Of Life was paid by the blood of this Life. Its the life of my most dearly beloved Creator. Unto the Lamb Who sits on the throne, be glory and honour and praise! His love..so great..so deep..so strong. its this love that moved Him down from His throne, to be n a stinky, dirty, fly-infested barn. There.. he breathe His first breath in a human body. Born to die..for my ups and downs. Just so that He could take me home to heaven. He died, just to be able to take me home? He had to, because there was no other way.

Hope which was lost among mankind, now stands renewed.

as the end of this 2007 is nearing, so is the beginning of a spectacular 2008. and many other years to come. In Him, i face every tomorrow gracefully, beautifully, faithfully, and fearlessly. To show and tell the world that GOD be THE SOLUTION to everything they are looking for.

I thank my God, my Creator, my best friend, the lover of my soul, my Father, for salvation. For the priceless blood that He poured out for me. I give my life to honour this. The love of Christ, the Saviour King.

I also commit this blog, all the posts that have been written way back since 2004, and for the many posts and testimonies to come. I give this to God, that this blog will honour You.

Counter Strike of the ransomed heart

2007-12-21T16:42:00.000+08:00

Having a doctrine pass before the mind is not what the Bible means by knowing the truth.

It’s only when it reaches down deep into the heart that the truth begins to set us free, just as a key must penetrate a lock to turn it, or as rainfall must saturate the earth down to the roots in order for your garden to grow. - ransomedheart.com

Today, the truth that i knew set me free. for a split second.... i nearrrrly got caught u know. Thank God for His still, small, yet very firm voice. I gave a different reaction that usual, turned around and laughed at the devil.. Gotcha! muahahah

Jesus the Cloud Maker

2007-12-16T01:16:00.000+08:00

past few days have been filled with rough clouds.. really thick, sticky, slimy, yucky....rough ones!!!!

but like the old saying goes..

"Every cloud has a silver lining" its that lining that pulled me through..
in that lining.. there where things, places, people, events, little moments that have brought GREAT joy to my life.. while still stuck in the cloud. God's power was clearly controlling and sustaining everything single part of it.

Thank You Father, that You are my God, and I am Your heir and dearly loved child.

one day...my Prince will come..

2007-12-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

at the moment, its that kind of feeling la..

what to do? Im just back from watching Enchanted

it was sooooper funny, and ultra romantic!

suddenly all those childhood memories, came flooding and crashing back to me! i remember watching Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Beauty & the Beast, Anastasia, Rapunzel etc etc etc...round ofter round, at least 15times EACH!!

Sleeping Beauty was so pretty with her long wavy red hair, and her off-shoulder dress, she look even prettier asleep!

Snow White was such a sweet thing, one call and all the animals would rush to her aid.. she even looked beautiful when she fainted after biting the poison apple.. Cinderella look all the more beatiful even in her rags. All these were princesses, if not in the natural, but definately one at heart. All of them longed for their 'Prince' or 'Knight in shining armour' to rescue them out of dire danger, sweep them off their feet, then ride into the sunset.. ahh.. how romantic!

But not Enchanted.. the riding off into the set took place right at the beginning of the movie! Hilarious! Prince Edward was going to marry Giselle the next day after they met! wwwwhat? ahaha "Tomorrow we shall wed...." he said. Yeap, these are what fairy tales are made off.. This one has a twist to it! amazing!

I remember through out the movie, there was a very warm feeling in my heart..a very cosy, brings-back-old-memories, fuzzy kind of feeling.. a feeling of being in love.. hahah i remember feeling that as a kid, everytime i watched one of those cartoons. It was always a happy ending. Most of the time, i would be so happy it made me cry.. and to my surprise.. i was teary-eyed at the end of Enchanted as well!

goshhh i guess that part of me never really grew up.. i secretly hope it wont =P

ahhh.. it was such a great movie.. wanna watch again! ahahaha anyone wanna watch again??

side-tracked.. then back on it again

2007-11-30T01:05:00.000+08:00

just got my new cbox..ahah it feels fun =P

i wonder what happened that caused me to swerve a bit off track since tuesday.. i think a bit to much of McDreamy really isnt thaaat good for health. the same way too much McDonald's is bad for health too.. shall go slower the next round.

so much to talk and say...but my eyes cant take it any longer.. see you on saturday hopefully

long lonely drive home... in solitude with my Maker

2007-11-21T01:07:00.000+08:00

i was wondering... since when i became so emo... emotional.. ahaha

maybe its the songs.. maybe its the rain rain rain... maybe its because im on holiday, too free and nothing to do..

i wish Uni has started.. i miss college..i miss my friends.. i miss HECTIC LIFESTYLE... i miss being bz.. maybe this time God's getting me lonely, to be with Him. to look at Him. off to dinner

the hebrew word Hosanna

2007-11-19T23:26:00.001+08:00

7 They brought the colt to Jesus and put their coats on it; and He sat on it.
8 And many spread their coats on the road, and others spread leafy branches which they had cut from the fields.
9 Those who went in front and those who followed were shouting:"Hosanna! (E)BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD;
10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David;Hosanna (F)in the highest!"
(Mark 11: 7-10)

Brooke Fraser was talking about how the Holy Spirit led her in writing the song Hosanna in the most recent Hillsong- Saviour King album. Hymns relate very much to her.. Shes continued saying that the core of the song is that the scene where when Jesus entered the village on a donkey, and the people laying down the palm leaves and coats before him. The song talks about- "Hosanna" the "eternal cry of praise" which were shouted and sung by the people who went before Jesus, (ie. the prophets of old, the many people whom God had revealed His plan of sending the Messiah, the One that would be sent to save Israel and the world), even the generation of people before us AND the people who followed after who are the generations to come.. These all will praise the name of Jesus.

This is the whole song:

I see the King of Glory
Coming down in clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sins
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus:
Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest!
Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest!

I see a generation
Rising up to take their their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Many song writers have been going about this same line in many songs.. prophets have prophesised about the rising of this generation, taking up their places as armies in the Kingdom of God, soldiers who stand with God in the battle field, taking back the people into the Lord's family, these.... are people who are of selfless faith.. These are the people who followed after Jesus in Mark 11:9.

Bridge:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything i am for Your Kingdom's cause
As i walk from earth into eternity

The bridge is very personal to me. As i asked God for revival in my cell group, for Him to do a great thing and move in the lives of my cell members, to teach them Himslef. I asked him to heal our hearts and make it clean before Him, to open up our eyes to the things of the Kingdom which we cannot see with our natural eyes, and show me how to love, like how He loved me.. and by this time. with tears streaming down.. ask Him to break our hearts, for everything wrong thing we did and horrible things that people do in this world that broke His. Giving my everything: time, money, petrol, family time, gifts and talents, strengths and weaknesses, everything i am for His Kingdom's cause...

It is a statement and a call- an eternal cry of praise that was sung by the generations years and years before us , and will continue to be sung by the rising generation till eternity.

This song has been speaking to me for months together. i was facinated by the significance of the meaning of the word "Hosanna" at first...Wikipedia states it as a Hebrew word meaning "Lord that saves" or "the Saviour God". God the Hero came to my rescue and saved me, from my sins.

Chorus: i got Saviour and He's living in me..Whoa! I wanna know, i wanna know You today!

2007-11-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

this weekend has been a rather rough one.

for a certain period of time, i was bound and pressed spiritually on every side.. its nothing like i have felt before.. i was wondering, God, my walk with You hasnt failed, You seem quite near and and i can still hear from You quite well. But what's this sense of plunging emotional levels? Suddenly i couldnt think properly, no joy, cant understand pastor's message, and so tired after teaching the children.. that as soon as i rushed back home, i gave some weird excuse to turn down lunch, (altho i was really hungry, but no appetite to eat), and JUMPED into bed.. right before that i prayed: God, for some weird reason i dont feel right at all, i cant think right, i cant do anything right.. i think i need to shut down all my senses just for a little while, You come and repair me God, i need Your power to restore me.. urgently..! Amen. then, zzzzzzzzz

i woke up earlier than i had set my alarm for. i touched my forehead, then my eyes.. then i realized, i was FINE! i actually felt great! next thing i felt was...my stomach... growling in protest of being empty for so long.. haha i jumped up, headed for the kitchen to make my favourite cheese-egg ommelette wit bread..

i took the egg out, then turned back to the fridge to get the cheese when i heard this "crack..." then i turned and saw this:

oooops! i didnt see it roll down! faster took hand paper towels and cleaned it up.. and off to the back to make me sandwich..

then on, i was really really fully of joy.. felt a breakthru in the spirit!

in Revival Service... God spoke every so clearly about the things that im going thru and things that iv been talking to Him about. His Spirit put into Mine many confirmations and breakthrus in many areas.. God was htting Bulls-eyes in my life. Multiple breakthrus! One ofter the other.. as i talked to Him again about the things i have been telling Him before, one thing after the other, He in turn began responding and hitting precisely at the EXACT points!!! one after the other!!! its as tho scoring 100%!!

need time to get me thought together... till the next post>> Adios Amigoes!

randoms...

2007-11-16T11:06:00.000+08:00

every single day of my holiday so far has been very very productive..
i had planned to work throughout these 2 months, but as a classmate reminded me that this kind of 'Verified' holidays might only come once in a lifetime! take ot or leave it~

yes. i took it. although technically there is not much cash input, but the Lord has blessed me thru many people, therefore allowing me to have a rather comfortable holiday, financially. This is a big bonus for me.. tEE Hee.. =P

it is indeed a long needed break. looking back. since the last day of my SPM years ago, iv never stopped for any breaks at all. got to work the very next day. after i resigned from BOCM, i ialso started Uni on the following monday. Rushed through a VV short semester with assignments and tests equavalent to a long sem, and here i am now. enjoying myself this holiday. what a great time it has been so far..

its so much fun, all the more because its the 'Year-End' season, where almost everyone is in the mood for holidays! ahaha me too! im so very relieved and enjoying and using every minute of this time to the fullest. at this point, im TOTALLY stress-free! free of the usual constant reminder ringing in my head "what do i have to study?", "do i have any pending assignments?", "what do i have to do next?", "what test do i need to study?"...

i actually do not have anything to study at all! Course Selection hasnt started yet. hehe this is sooo muchh funnn!

ahh yess.. CHRISTMAS PROJEKT...

im currently working on the foundational work of this projekt..

remember: its COMING SOON

À V e n i r : Christmas Projekt

2007-11-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

Lord, You have my heart; and I will search for Yours

2007-11-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

guys, gals, whoever... u've GOT to read this.. it talks about the fuel of passion of God for us, He longs to be with us. This is the kind of relationship, worship and sonship (daughter-ship) we are born to have with our Father. Dear Father, let this encourage and draw so many others into an even closer to You, my God, my Love. Amen.

Taken from Iris Ministries website, by Rolland Baker http://www.irismin.org/news/36.php

We are often asked what the overcoming key to our ministry and growth is. We don't think in terms of keys or secrets, but in the simplest truths of the Gospel. We have learned by experience that there is no way forward when pressed to our extremities but to sacrifice ourselves at every turn for His sake, knowing nothing but Jesus and Him crucified. We must die to live. It is better to give than to receive, and better to love than to be loved. We cannot lose, because we have a perfect Savior who is able to finish what He began in us, if we do not give up and throw away our faith.

In years past we did not think we could identify with Paul like this, but now we understand more of what he meant: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" (2 Cor. 1:8-9).

Heidi and I get overwhelmed by our awareness that we are only jars of clay, very fragile and finite, capable of only giving out so much, and with very limited understanding and strength. But we have come to be encouraged by this very state of affairs, because God's power and glory will become obvious in our weakness: "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body" (2 Cor. 4:7-10).

In Pemba we just started another three-month Bible school session with new student pastors from the bush, many of whom are barely aware of any Christian doctrine and still confused about so much. But three of them have already raised the dead and given their testimonies in class! The Holy Spirit is opening hearts and bringing in the harvest more than ever, in spite of our weaknesses. Our churches are monuments to the grace of God. We are asked how we keep them all together, organized and feeling like a unified family, but we can offer no adequate human explanation, in spite of all our efforts. We have learned that He is able to melt hearts and keep people connected in spirit by His own power, and build a hunger for the Savior that conquers every obstacle. This is His revival, His church, His display of glory, and He qualifies us to do His work.

What motivates us to keep going? What puts energy into our spirits when we run out of answers and resources? How do we stay patient and upbeat when the outlook seems bleak, yet again? Where does our power to live, serve and give come from? The question is important, because missionaries do get tired, discouraged and down. Christians of all kinds run out of motivation, no matter how much they have. Leaders with huge responsibilities lose their peace and joy. Ministries become more like businesses, and preachers more like sales managers. But what makes the Kingdom run? What is the fuel that fires us effortlessly? What is the real thing?
Every day we find out more of the answers to these most fundamental questions, and every day we learn that what used to motivate us is no longer enough. We are going higher, pressing on to what lies ahead. We keep learning what Jesus is interested in, and lose interest in what we used to pursue. And we learn that unless Jesus is interested in what we are pursuing, the going gets tougher than we can bear.

But, ha, there is a secret place, a hiding place, a lower place, a holy place that exceeds our dreams. It is not found in anything external and impersonal. It is not found simply in activity, sacrifice and dedication. It is not found in goals, projects, productions and progress. It is not found in finances and growth. It may be missed entirely even when preaching, teaching, training and discipling. It may be forgotten completely when evangelizing and praying for the sick. The greatest and most powerful gifts don't necessarily contain it. Even ministry to the poor may become an impersonal effort that misses that greatest and most intensely motivating creation of God, that supreme display of His glory: relationship!

Love is a gift of relationship, not just self-sacrifice. The secret place is not necessarily found in a prayer closet or a posture of soaking, or in battling for a just cause, or in a massive prayer and fasting effort. Even the most amazing miracles can leave us lonely and without relationship. We can run out of motivation advancing the most noble ideals and working at all levels to transform society. We can minister until we have no more strength, and still go home and lie in bed without the relationship for which our hearts are made.

Everything is okay with relationship. It is all that Jesus cares about, all that motivates Him. He could do many more amazing miracles and dazzle the world with His powers, but He is interested only in relationship. The entire creation, all the grandeur of the physical world, and all His works are designed to serve one thing: relationship. Revival has no content without it. Renewal and manifestations are pointless apart from it. Miracles only find their meaning in it. Joy is shallow and groundless unless rooted in it. Without relationship we are the living dead.
There is no pressure in genuine relationship. When it turns into work, it is gone and finished. It is effortless to maintain. It is not the goal of struggle, but the fire of life. It brings the utmost peace, and washes away all tension. It is the point of living, the substance of existence, the atmosphere of heaven. It motivates to heroic heights, bringing out our best. In relationship we know we are alive, we have arrived, we are satisfied. When we turn away from relationship to pursue anything else, we lose. We have no strength to give and love without it. It is a haven, a rock, a river of living water, the perfect source of motivation to keep going.

As our Perfect Savior, Jesus provides us with relationship. For this He died and rose again on our behalf. He provides not only His Word, His promises and His gifts, but also freely fills our lives with relationship in response to the desire He has put in our hearts. No guilt and condemnation can keep us from drinking in all the relationship with Him that we desire. Nothing in our past can block us. No attitudes in others can prevent us from tasting and seeing that He is good. And from this tree of life that is our Savior, we can branch out into more and more relationship with those all around us. He takes away our loneliness. In Him we end our search and find our destination.

So in this experience of revival in Africa, our values have been refined in the fires of pressure, opposition and disappointment. Thousands of churches and testimonies of supernatural power do not keep us motivated. Huge feeding projects are not enough for us. We need more of a goal than to target people groups and disciple followers. Education and development don't keep our hearts alive. Mobilizing world-wide support still falls short. Academic missiology lacks the energy that Africa needs.

No, our hearts must have perfect relationship, a perfect union between us and our Savior, in the Holy Spirit. We were never meant to be alone for a moment. Our whole motive is to live life and do everything together with our God, to take pleasure in His company always. Our power to live comes entirely from our satisfying relationship with Him, and to stay there is to stay in our own private revival that cannot be disturbed by anything else. Only when that relationship is golden, incandescent and pure enough do we have the power to delight in all that God has richly provided for us to enjoy.

Therefore in Him we do not pursue revival, but rather revival pursues us! Church growth and miracles pursue us. His presence pursues us. He Himself follows us, responds to us, and takes pleasure in making us happy, for we make Him happy. We care how He feels. We satisfy His longing. To stay close to Him is no effort, but a relief, a release, a door to freedom. To get a miracle is never the point, but in our relationship with Him miracles are a delight for Him to perform on our behalf. In fact, we cannot live without miracles, and in the normal Christian life we recognize that everything is a miracle, "for in him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28).

Leprosy and AIDS are being healed by God in our churches in DRCongo. Our missionaries in Sudan are being caught up to heaven in visions while stationed in a most dangerous environment. Our Bible school students in South Africa are seeing waves of healing blow through a hospital when doctors and nurses are absent on strike. The dead continue to be raised, and the blind and deaf continue to see and hear, causing whole villages to come to Jesus at a time. The poor and abandoned are fed and taken into families. And yet we press on to the best yet in Him, in faith all the way, as always! There is a massive amount of suffering still in Africa, but we can deal with it only as our motivation is steady, sure and secure, located in the unbreakable bond between us and our God and Savior.

We love and thank all of you who join us and support us as you yourselves continue to drink along with us from this inexhaustible well of motivation. May His richness and and joy be yours beyond your wildest dreams as you comprehend more of His love for you each day. Continue to eat of Him and drink of Him to your heart's content until His will is done on earth, as it is in heaven.

Much, much love in Him, Rolland --

captivated in intimacy

2007-11-13T10:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday i just had only of the most restful days in years.. woke up late, to take an over due library book to be returned back to Uni library. I actually got a 1st Reminder letter from Uni that was posted to my parent's home.. Yikes!! Get me a great big shocked and we had a great big laugh about it. Ofcoz not without getting fined, haha. =S

suppose to meet Moni in the afternoon but due to change of plans, i had a lovely dish of 叉烧鸭rice in Tmn Connaught. Then went to Tesco Ampang to get somethings for home. I think having Hypermarkets at the side of the highway is a BRILLIANT idea. It is the main factor causing me to choose to shop there.

Lazy KLites.. i didnt choose to be born here, but i guess God designed my "Get-it-done-as-quick-as-possible" and "Go-go-go" personality, chose the best place on earth for me. [i guessss>>> that God's second option woulde be Singapore.. i love the speed of walking of the people there (i fit in really well when i went there last year)]

On the way back, in setapak garden, i stopped by the road-side to get a bowl of Cendol made by the old Cendol man.. i really stopped just because of the pulut inside the cendol.. but it was SOLD OUT..AGAIN!! aiiyo uncle.. next time keep for me ok!! but the Cendol was still great without the pulut.. icy-cold santan, grean 'worms', and gula melaka... yummmm!

Reached home, and slept for the rest of the evening.. muuuahaha

A few things that i've been doing for the pass 1 month..

23-25 Nov: Final exams in Uni.. aihhh its a sad story.. i hope it doesnt pull down my overall marks too much.. i want all stars

25Nov after final paper: went to hair saloon outside Uni with Robin and Joan to get a cut and highlights (not highlited enufff!) it was a 'Happy Birthday to me' and 'Finals Are Over celebration'

27Nov: went with robin to 1U to get a dress.. stuck in jams all over town for a total of 4hours.. ohh my poor left leg.. rush to Bel's hse in sentul for D cell. fought with the guard for not letting me in.. at that point i was really so stressed and tired until feel like crying.. when reach Bel's door..my dear cell members didnt wanna let me in.. i really thought they were doing it on purpose u know... adoi PENGSAN! when they finally opened the door the lights were off, and somebody was carrying a bowl of rice with 3 candles stuck inside.. can you imagine what it looked like exactly..? you'd find it at the corner of a road.. offerings for 'Lost Souls'.. at that point i really didnt know what to say, think or do.

So happy and relieved. Then when i went to the toilet, they locked me in AGAIN! i was thinking "whaaat in thhhhhe world?!!?" i didnt even try to force open the door. when they opened it for me, again the lights were off and out came... a birthday cake.. spent the rest of the evening eating a great dinner prepared by my wonderfully talented cell members. Sfter that moni led us into worship and thankgiving to God for the Apostolic Programme and the pass year. As we broke into groups to pray and bless on another, i joined Luming and as we prayed i felt a very strong sense of bonding in my heart towards God and extremly thankful to Him for the amazing people He has out in my life.

Yes, especially people like Luming, Monica, ms.Catherine. Also people who i nv thought i would be so fren with..but now feel like im bonded to in the spirit, people like General Jacjac. In just a few minutes of prayer, all these people flashed across my mind, all i knew i should do was to wholeheartedly thank God for them, and ask God to bless them ever sooo richly in every aspect of their lives. i believe in my heart that God reveals to you the most important people in your life... i can have a thousand friends, but only a hand full of close friends. Praise God for them!

28 Oct: yea.. Happy Birthday to me..!! that day was extremly normal.. celebrated with Children's Cell children. Had a great lunch with my Uncle Joe, with Moni and meiling over as well.. wanted to treat them to some good mutton curry! had my FAVOURITE cheesecake!!! YOGURT CHEESE with rasberry toppings.. oohh sooo goood! and i wore my new girly dress.. was forced to actually.. haha.

evening, had a date with joanna and robin in leisure mall. suppose to go for movie "shoot em' up" but was late..actually technically we could have watched, but for some weird reason somehow they said that it was impossible..so we went shopping inside leisure mall. 1st stop! Salvation bookstore.. i grabbed the 1st book i saw! Supernatural Power of the Transformed Mind (someting i had been hunting for since August). But something in my heart told me that its not what i need to know or read for now. just not this one. so i decided to rely on the HS and see whats His opinion.

Thenn... then... my eyes swept to the next shelf and saw the book "Captivating" i tot.. isnt this the book either Luming or connie was toking about in cell the other day?.. immmediately my heart started to race.. yes..yES..YESS.. this is it. *GRAB* i also bot the Saviour King DVD.. also was hunting for it since the CD was out. then tried on a gown with joanna..for the sake of looking pretty, then put it back on the shelf and walk off.. ahah. my 1st time doing this.

then we started looking for food.they suggested Wong Kokbut i didnt really like the food there. Kimgary was better.. but dunno how i was persuaded in and took the stairs up to the 2nd floor. as i looked up, a whole stretch of people were seated & looking at me.. jason, bobby, justin, henry, jon, and xiao loong leslie.. aiyoo !! pengsan! it was a surprise dinner! i was speechless for about 2 minutes.. as i sat down they put a big box on the table wrapped with a lovely red ribbon. must be ms.Joanna's idea. they said to feel the box for something moving inside. that got me nervous! as i slooooowly opened it.. it was all crushed paper.. and...*trumpet sound* out came 3 big sesame stress friends: Elmo, Big Bird and Cookie Monster. yes guys, those are my 3 new friends at my car rear window.. with huge bulgy eyes and vibrant colours of red, yellow and blue. Thank you so much guys.. i was so so so so so touched! it was great enough having you all there with me.. btw, we had a complementary HUGE jar of 'Yin Yong'.. what a great experience.. will stay with me forever.

these are the most impactful days in october.. november happenings.. in the next blog>>

how deep is your love?

2007-11-13T01:24:00.000+08:00

God has written the Romance not only on our hearts but all over the world around us. What we need is for Him to open up ears that we might recognize His voice calling to us, see his hand wooing us in the beauty that quickens our hearts.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean

Higher than any bird ever flew

Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens

I've been in love with you

Stronger than any mountain cathedral

Truer than any tree ever grew

Deeper than any forest primeral

I am in love with you

-Dan Forgelberg, "Longer"

What were the things that romanced your heart as a little girl?
Was it horses in a field? Was it the fragrance in the air after a rain? Was is a favourite book like Sweet Valley? The first snowfall of winter (oops...doesnt apply to us does it?) Those were all whispers from your Lover, notes sent to awaken your hearts longings. And as were journey into a ture intimacy with God as women, he often brings those things back into our lives, to remind us he was there, to heal and restore things that we're lost and stolen.

exerpt from Captivating- John & Stasi Eldredge

shoutout: to all girls, this is an amazing read. First half of the book has already changed the way i have lived in the pass 1 month.

mid week brain chill

2007-10-10T14:48:00.000+08:00

sleeepy.. after lunch. i had rice with brinjal, kacang panjang, chicken curry gravy, and a sausage. Today ate at residential hall, got Su to teman me.. thanks Su.. =) i love the environment there, its not too quiet or noisy. Its air is cool, homely and very confortable. A great place to hang out.. I feel that its the most comfortable place compared to many other 'IN' places on campus.

Shall make it my secret hide out =P

Monday was Biz Comm presentation. It was quite OK. Glad it turned out good. After many sleepless nights and 4 hours a day sleep.. Rushing my management assignment and singlehandedly finishing the Biz Comm 'group' assignment.. I took a 1 and half day 'brain chill' to cool it down before the finals..

Have to start studiying tiday la.. or ELSE! Got 2 movie 'appointments' this week.. haha Bourne Ultimatum starring Matt Damon and Lust & Causion starring Wang LeeHom.. Looking forward!! =)

Finals starting on 23rd Oct- 25 oct.. yay! ends just before my birthday !! yeayeaH
must go celebrate!! haha.. go Camerons...? hmm see about it.

fun at the Peak with CF kakis

2007-10-06T08:23:00.000+08:00

reminicing over every moment spent in genting with some CF friends.. It was sort of a last minute planned trip.. there was: joanna,cristy,me, sue ann, leslie, jonathan,leonard and robin! it was a great time of getting to know them in the most informal setting. seeing the way they really gear up each other's Gila-ness...makes me feel young again!!

not that im all thaaat old..but after being in a setting where i was the youngest among all my work colleagues, imprinted on my mind a certain kind of mindset.. i guess thats all over for now.. can put them aside for now.. yess.. it took me quite a while to get the past 1 year and 8months out of my head, and look forward to the GREAT GREAT things that lie ahead.

now..the genting trip

we had real great gila fun!! the friday night when we(me, christy,leslie,leonard & rob) reached, jon,joanna and sueann wer already there. got our bags in the room and headed out for some fresh air. we walked literally around the whole genting i suppose and took lots of fotos. at 1 point i remember thinking, "hmm..i just knew this people 2weeks ago.. how is it that i feel that iv known them forever??" thanks guys for making me feel belong and not 'lost' anymore.

at night a few of us stayed up until 3 watching Corps Bride..and enjoying ourselves taking fotos and video taping sleeping and snorning people.. they we actually snoring in harmony..!! kakaka.. leslie has it on tape.. for blackmailing purposes.. haha.. joking. only after we wer really tak tahan falling asleep..nono.. wen robin woke up saying that his back ached and was uncomfortable.. poor fella.. then only we decided to all go back to our places to get some proper rest..

we woke in the morning and woke the guys.. well, we forced them to wake up and ended in a pillow fight.. had some things to eat.. thank u robin for your salmon and crackers.. filled me up till noon~

for a start, we made a pretty bad choice in starting the day with the Flying Coaster and the ship.. too many things happened after that..if i wrote, i dont need my assignment d.. haha

here ar some pics to remember..

im getting work-sick again =_="

2007-10-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

i just stumbled across some photos i took with my ex-colleagues at BOCM.. after looking thru them, i began to feel the same kind feeling i felt at the beginning of this month.. WORK SICK~

i miss my work, i miss my workstation, i miss the deafening sound of silence in GM's office, i miss Crystal, i miss GM, i miss elaine, i miss sayyee, i miss michelle, i miss jessie, i miss chery i miss fazrik, i miss ah ken, i miss mowmow, i miss Mr. Seet, i miss li hong

but what can i do?? at this moment..i can only remember. I only have memories...wonderful memories.. for any1 frm BOCM that happens to come across my blog, i love you and miss you so much!! so so so much =(

i still remember the time my manager Michelle came over to my place.. one look at her, and i was in tears.. she was a great boss! a mentor, a role model, a great example, a good friend, and fellow sister in Christ! i got to go to Cambodia for a mission trip with her.. n it was a great experience. part of God's plan being accomplished in my life. about Cambodia Mission trip.. ill blog about it another day..=P

opps..i just came across this power verse..when Moses was asking God to follow him

Exo 34:13

"Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You, and that i may find grace in Your sight. And consider that this nation is Your people"

This reminds me of how i prayed last year when i was struggling in making some major decisions. and just like the next verse, its exactly what God replied..

Exo 34:14

"and He(God) said, "My Presence will go with you, and i will give you rest"

God I praise You! For who You are and for who i am made in You. My Saviour, Lover of my soul, Comforter, Redeemer, Restorer, my Friend, my Everything and my ALL.

this is grace gone deep

2007-09-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

Night and day I seek Your face
Long for You in the secret place
All I want in this life
Is to truly know You more

As the waters cover the sea
So Your love covers me
Guiding me on
Roads unknown
I trust in You alone

My Saving Grace
My Endless Love
Deeper and deeper
Im falling in love with You
My One Desire
My Only Truth
Deeper and deeper im falling in love with You

And I with rise on wings of eagles
Soaring high above all my fears
I rest in Your open arms of love

-Saving Grace by Michelle Fragar, Hillings United Live Best Friend album 2000

Father God,
Yet again, I thank You for Your saving grace that pulled me through. Today during praise celebration, even while ps.Gloria was still preaching, I felt a huge sense of Thanksgiving. felt like my heart was in my throat! felt like standing up and prasing God while the message was still going on..!! this is not the 1st time i felt like this. But then i thought, ushers would escort me out.. hahaha nyway, although still sitting down, dunno y already started crying, like Holy Spirit was already ministering to me then and there, DONT NEED AN ALTAR CALL! Im finally out of the narrow place! im liberated! free! full of peace, thankfulness, totally in awe. When ps.Gloria said, when you are getting stuck, or already stuck, you feel that you cant move left, right, front or back.. people would go down.. But dont do it! the best thing to do is to look UP! i think back in the past 2 years, thats exactly what iv been doing! looking up! often getting neck ache also! (*joking)

God pulled me through! Im in my Promised Land now! UCSI seemed like an unreachable place 2 years ago. Its my promised land for 2 reasons:

1. to get my long awaited degree, something that nearly got out of my sight if it werent for God reminding me, that He promised that i would have it.
2. God mentioned that with the process of getting that degree, my mission was also to take the university for God. to cause transformation and a revolution in the campus. and He assured me that this couldnt happen if i did it alone. Therefore, encouraging me to join the local CF, spreading the wildfire of the Holy Spirit through the CF. He also told me o get prepared for signs and wonders, healings and deliverances happening in the campus through the CF! but ONLY if we believed God for it. ONLY IF we desired and looked to God for it, and not at our abilities and strengths.

Im still in the process of fitting in Uni. With exams and assignments pilling by the day, doing all this seems like climbing mountains. But then again, God pulled me through the alomost impossible before.. He's going to do it again! More powerfully, and so obviously that all.. ALL would see and know that God's hand is upon the campus. and that every believer and un-beliver in in His heart.

That's what is in God's heart

quotes from Joel Houston. again~

2007-09-27T14:22:00.000+08:00

hehe couldnt resist the urge of quoting him here. its not so much of the person, but the amount of things that goes on inside the person. i wonderrrr and wonder how and how much God speaks to this person. and how much he in return has caught hold of God's every word, lives, drinks and feeds on it as though its the only means of food he has to survive.

and then, he pours it out into writing and melodies given by God Himself. This then brings out the raw and obsolute power of God whenit is sung and spoken out into the atmosphere. The praising, worshipping, proclaiming, and prophesying through these songs, has caused the heart of a listener like me, to be completely broken into pieces until i feel like that there nothing left.

Songs like: Take it all, From the inside out, None but Jesus (BrookeFraser),The Stand, Hallelujah, Lead me to the cross(BrookeFraser),Found, Hosanna, Never let me go, and Solution, even Take all of me(marty sampson), sing(Your love)(reuben morgan), and Forever(marty sampson). All these have transformed my life to where i am right now.

it was in worshipping with these songs, and ofcoz with the correct heart, i made it to the secret place. being broken time after time after time, surrendering many things wasnt easy. each time, it felt like a part of my heart was being torn away. in the process, God assured me and showed me that every part He takes away was actually bad parts. Things like wrong behaviours, wrong attitudes, complaints, wrongly set priorites, all were taken away one by one. Thats the hard part. God tears it away one by one, not all at one go. I used to ask God, wuldnt it be easier and less work for him and less painful for me if it all was settled at 1 go?

cant wait for the quotes. here goes..

on the plan of doing the I-Heart Revolution 08

"and besides, since when has this thing been in any way, shape or form reliant on whether WE could make it happen...NEVER.. and when did we start categorising ourselves with "every other artist"..??? the very nature of what we do is different.. this is way bigger than all of that.. and so, once again God got a chance to make himself known in our weakness.. we found ourselves falling once again on our need for Him to come through with the goods - and that's exactly where God wanted us to be.."

This experience of walking on water and relying on nothing else but plain faith is universal. Many times, almost everytime actually..id come to this stage and say "God, iv come so far, what next?" then really amazingly, the "next" happens right in front of you and you walk through it yet again.

"as soon as we started thinking and prayin about it - opening our hearts and eyes and ears to what God might be wanting to do.. it became screamingly obvious.. this thing was gonna be all out.. and that's how we approached it.. in every aspect.. everyone involved has given everything they have to making every element of this album everything it had to be.. and in the midst of it God became everything we desired for it..

yep.. it's different.. but it's still the sound of real people getting real with a real God... it's in the studio, but there's no fancy, fancy or over-indulgent production trickery.. we laboured to write the best songs we could.. not just lyrics bending around melody over a bed of instrumentation in a way that would "work in church"... but we chased hard after the heart of God.. searching and pursuing the right words.. pushing ourselves to find the right melodies.. not just playing our instruments.. but worshipping with them.."

it was a beautiful way of doing it.. just forgetting we'd pressed record at times.. and letting the song and the Spirit have their way..

it's about a selfless faith.. the call to love.. the pursuit of justice and helping others.. the hope and freedom we have in Christ.. and the truth of the gospel in a world that is searching.."

i wake up every morning, and remind myself of my role to play for that day. That im not in this alone coz He is with me. Id lay hands and He'd heal, Id pray and He'd answer that prayer, I'd command and He'd cast out the evil spirits, I'd proclaim His name and He'd show up, I'd go evangelism and He'd speak and touch the heart of the seeker. Reminding myself moment by moment, I want to be good hand and good feet for God.