Your monthly food

This post was intended to feed my blog and for making sure it doesnt starve. This is my first time in 7 years- since the birth of this blog that I attempted to change the template. Looked weird at first, but i guess everyone deserves a change. Including my blog.

It has been a good 7 years ya. Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet towards a home-a land that I've never seen. Made of different stuff from when I began.

Sorry for abandoning you

1stly, i would like to apologize to you- my blog for abandoning you. All i fed you the past 2 times was junk food, food full of well build make topless bodies, great choreography etc... the solids are still yet to come.


life in SG is .... blessed. on most days, i dont really feel that way, but God that eveyday is dripping with abundance. Let your mind run wild on what are the possible things i can get.
For now.. heres some more junk =P

Fill in the blanks
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? - Closed
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? - Nope
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? – Out. I don't like the cold
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? – No. But i helped somedone steal it =P
5. Do you like to use post-it notes? - Yes. I used to live on them.
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? - Yes
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? – Im terrified by bees. So i dont mind a bear.
8. Do you have freckles? - No, i have blemishes =.=
9. Do you always smile for pictures? – 9 out of 10 times
10. What is your biggest pet peeve? - takda kot~
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? - No laa nthg better to do? When God says go i just GO.
12. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? - No
13. Do you chew your pens and pencils? – No.. i prefer real food.
14. How many people have you slept with this week? - None, no sharing till the time is right, with the right person, with a legal marriage cert.
15. What size is your bed? – Single
16. What is your Song of the week? - CNBlue Im A Loner
17. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? - Depends on which guy wears it.
18. Do you still watch cartoons? – I wish i could. But no.
19. What’s your least favorite movie? - Storm Warriors remake by Aaron Kwok and Ekin Cheng.
20. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? - Under my bed.
21. What do you drink with dinner? - Water? ICe Lemon tea =)?
22. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? – Nothing, i like it as it is. I help Mcds save on their sauces.
23. What is your favorite food? – Katong Laksa!
24. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? – Madagascar
25. Last person you kissed/kissed you? – You know i know la ;)
26. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? – Yes!
26. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? - No. I think its cheap.
27. Can you change the oil on a car? - No. Thats why i have a boyrfriend ;)
28. Favorite kind of sandwich? – Smoked salmon
29. Best thing to eat for breakfast? – Half Boiled Eggs, butter toast, kopi!
30. What is your usual bedtime? – 12.30am-ish
31. Are you lazy? - Yes. I try not to be too much.
32. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? – I couldnt be bothered about halloween. i had an important birthday to celebrate.
33. How many languages can you speak? – 4
34. Which are better legos or lincoln logs? - Legos!
35. Who is better...Leno or Letterman? - I don't watch either of them.
36. Ever watch soap operas? – Yes!
37. Dance in the shower? - Nope
38. Do you think musicals are cheesy? – No
39. Is Christmas stressful? - NO. are you kidding? Christ was born to take your stress.
40. Ever eat a pierogi? - whats that?
41. Favorite type of fruit pie? – Rasberry pie
42. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? – Vetinarian
43. Take a vitamin daily? - Yes
44. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? - None. I prefer Carrefour
45. Cheetos Or Fritos? – Cheetos
46. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? - No
47. Ever take dance lessons? - No chance
48. DJ or band, at a wedding? - Band! Definately!
49. Ever won a contest? – No..
50. Do you want to get married? - Of course!
52. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? – No
53. Do you want kids? – Yes. 3 i think..
54. Whats your favorite color? – Purple!
55. Do you miss anyone right now? – Yes.. :'(

More junk food!! Heartbeat by 2PM

Perfect comfort food =P

Hi dears.. has been super long since the last update. Im ashamed of my blog, but not of myself!!! Muahahahaha!!!

Will post more serious things later, but for now.. Here's all that i found after searching for Super Junior M's latest 太完美 or 'Perfection' MV. I miss them. Will miss them even more knowing that I cant go for their 19 March concert in Malaysia!!! So this MV is comfort food for me. Hope you enjoy it as much as me! =P

a real quick quicky =)

Hi world,

you would have taught i vanished from the face of the blog world. but i was actually a silent observer. peeking into people's blog, sniffing out the happenings in peoples lives here and there.

truthfully, i've been going through tough emotional times. (seriously, the pix above is just to amuse myself). times when you felt so much that you never knew you could feel so much in your entire life. times when a part of you' is temporarily removed and flew 100s of miles away. i couldnt help but to just feel... well.. empty. (i never thought i would be saying this also so dont ;S me). well i'll summarize everything here, to be true to the title of this blog.

1. All glory, all Honour to God who has carried me throughout the past 3 years. Thank God for my degree results. Sticking the piece of paper with 'CGPA > 3.5' DID pay off!

the stressful time balancing everything else with the 'majesty' thesis has paid off. what? so vain to post up the results?? haha well what to say, Im vain at heart and I show it in moderation.


and results have granted me the basic access into applying for an MSC. here we go again God, I surrender the rest to You.

2. Ended a terrific time interning at Hewitt Associates. Thank you guys for the opportunity to be on this great team. Indeed was Alan said in one of his speeches was true "the fun lies in the people around you'. Work would be work, but the fun after that is priceless. Our K-sessions were priceless!! You have all left an impact on my life! Thank you Rach, Theng, ChenSilly, Zatie, Prav, Suba, Lek! You have indeed been the craziest consultants on this planet! Who would know you were consultants ?! :)


3. My sayang left for UK. Leaving me all alone... ALL ALONE in KL!!!!
.
.
.
.
....
Hahahaha yeah rite!
First part true, second part is a joke.

Yes, my sayang left to finish his final deg year in Portsmouth, UK. Yes i was darn sad, depressed, etc etc those depressing words. But thank God for Skype, we meet every night! (or afternoon at his place). So try not to call me at Malaysian time 10.30pm-12.00am. you can try but... i just MIGHT not pick up. :P and dont blame me. *too bad*

i miss him everyday. so much that i try not to get too obsessed. God help me! seriously!

He is alive and well! And is walking with God everyday! you see... God always deserves and gets the glory. Thats is the way to go folks!

4. I've started working in LB. But Im not gonna elaborate on this. hahaha for various reaosns. Just wanna say that God is good, and His mercies endure forever! I;'ve relied on God like NEVER BEFORE FOR EVERY SINGLE WORKING DAY here. like never before you know.. just imagine. Thoughts of leaving, thoughts of staying went though my mind. But let God's thoughts be my thoughts and i will follow just that. Things are better, picking up. im stabalizing and finding my footing. that is why i can even blog now.

OK quicky done. now off to some singing and chilling out with my buds. My long awaited mental break.

miss my sayang

miss my crazy friends

miss leehom



miss our crazy trips


miss holding Diana F+

miss God

Till the next quicky.... LOVE You with the LOVE of Christ!

the little email from the little one that brought me GREAT joy

after reading this e-mail.. i was speechless for a few moments, then a smile creeped up on my face.. this came from a 11 year old who i love very dearly, but havent had the chance to catch up with since i moved on from this ministry.

hey, what are you doing now, where are you now, are you working, nice seeing you at church 18.4.2010 see you at next week at church how is your work okey tats all i am going to say god bless you and your family bye bye

i saw him in church today.. at first we had a glimpse of each other from the gaps between many other people sittig between us. he saw me, i saw him, then we both rocked in front and smiled at each other.. i loved THAT VERY MOMENT. it touched me so much! and when i got home, i was so surprised that he emailed me the above.. My heart wells up with joy.. joy that i havent felt in a long time.

funny how the smallest things like this can bring such great and unspeakable joy at this point of time. its a sign.. its a sign.. that God is Emmanuel- He is with me, God is with US. and He never leaves us.

another chun experience in church today. 2 old songs touched the depths of my heart again. it was those songs that i grew up with, was those songs that i got to know God, what He felt for me and how much He loves me.

Above All-
"He took the fall, and thought of me, above all."
when He was hanging on the cross, dripping with blood, I am was on His mind.

Sing (I love You so)-
"It USED to be darkness without You.
I LIVED my life in blindness, but now I'm found

and I'll sing! Sing 'I love You so'!!
and I'll sing! becaus e the world can't take away Your love!

I'll give my life for You Lord, for all You've done"

Thank you Lord!
thank you that i AM no longer and WILL no longer be in darkness bcause of You gave yourself for me. there is NO MORE darkness to those that are found by Jesus. to continue to say we are in darkness and STAY in the darkness, and even sometimes ENJOY the darkness- is an insult to you and your death. There might me mountains and valleys, promised lands and desserts, but NO MORE DARKNESS! because in You there is no more darkness. You have made us to be light, as you are, PERMANENTLY and ETERNALLY. YOUR light has lighted up all the dark areas of my life. and therefore, i will no longer complain about darkness, because it is non-existent to me after i have You in my life. I will also not bow down and not be shaken by anyone who are children of light but complain that they are stuck in darkness and deliberately dont want to move. it is non sensical and illogical. i have deep compassion for them, will pray for them but will not give in to it. and i admire christians who have the purest and most childlike hearts. teach me to be like them Lord. I want to be like that little one who loves others unconditionally, yet not affected by the world. Because He is so safe and loved in your arms. I want to be safe, rested and unmovable in You arms =) Amen i call it forth!

As we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let us run! let us run! with perseverence the race set before us.

Go lower to go higher

these past few weeks have been extremely hard and challenging. on top of thesis deadline, assignments deadlines, looking for internship, studying for my final 3 papers of my entire deg program, things concerning the relational part of my life didnt get easier.. i won't elaborate coz its under the Blood of Jesus, but through all of this, i've learn 1 big big lesson: in order to go higher, you have to go lower. all because i have accepted the dream that takes a lifetime- leadership (j.Maxwell) and throughout the process of reading this amazing book, i did pray b4, that i want to experience and be conscious of everything i am reading. God heard me, and brought many parts of the book to life.

Maxwell summarizes it here:
1. it's not the dream of a lifetime; it's the dream that takes a lifetime.
2. it takes time to grow as a leader.
3. it takes trials to grow as a leader.
4. it takes God's help to grow as a leader.

...so... hehehe
at the moment, i do feel defeated, sad, frustrated, impatient, feel that i havent done enough, feel helpless and empty. But not without hope, faith and love ;) Thank God, there is still faith, hope and love. Faith that God knows best and works all things out for good; Hope that all things will INDEED work out for and according to God's purpose; and love, for the way God loves me and how i want to love people around me the way He does. No, i've not given up; and i sure hope i will never. But i'm just pausing for a moment, to see whats happening and asking God how to get through this. my presence of mind will be back soon ;)

Dear God,
If my heart has grown cold, there You love will unfold, as You open my eyes to the work of your hands. When Im blind to my way, there Your spirit will pray, as You open my eyes to the work of Your hands. Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like You have loved me! Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom's cause as i walk from earth into eternity. Help me to become a better leader, Lord. Reveal the dream You have for my life. PLace i in my heart, and re-kindle my passion for it! While You help me to grow, teach me to embrace the whole development process. Give me patience when i need it and passion when it's appropriate. Teach me to look beyond my life and desires. And when I'm ready, show me the big picture as You did for Joseph!I love You Lord, and so i'll pass it on.

i miss God.. i miss ps prince's voice on mp3~ haha

just for keepsake..
to remind myself of what are my priorities, essentials, and things that matter the most.. dont want to be like the person in the bible who looked at himself in the mirror who turned away and immediately forgot what he saw..

thank you Ps Prince for today's devotional, and reminding me of who JEsus is- King and Lord over the storm =)

Matthew 14:27
27But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”
Are you going through a dark, difficult moment in your life? Perhaps the storm just rages on with no let-up and you are trembling in fear. You feel that any time now, you may just cave in and go under because you cannot beat this storm.

Be comforted that Jesus sees what you are going through and He always comes to where you are in your darkest hour. He did that for His disciples one stormy night on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus came, walking on the stormy waters, walking on top of the problem that was threatening to overwhelm them. He is indeed the King and Lord over the storms!

When your eyes are on Christ, even though the storms are raging and the winds are blowing, you will know that you are above your troubles and circumstances. When people ask you how you are doing under the circumstances, tell them, “I am not under the circumstances. I am on top of them because my God is above all!”

Don’t be fearful. He will come to you walking on the stormy waters. Hear His comforting voice telling you, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

And as you behold Jesus, you become like Him. You will find yourself doing things you did not know you could do. You will, like Peter, walk on water. This happens when you are occupied with the person of Jesus, with His resources, love, wisdom, ability, power and majesty.

My friend, even during the times when you take your eyes off Jesus, He never takes His eyes off you. And when you cry out to Him, He will immediately stretch out His hand to catch hold of you. You will not go under.

There may be times that you are not able to find your way back. Jesus will then hold your hand and walk you back to the boat. And like Peter, you will realize that with your hand in His, the storm will come to a standstill!

Look what I found in our dear Mraz's blog.. =_=

just a random post.. as i let off some highly dreaded steam from my head. Life's tough, but I have an Almighty God ;) that should make things easier and funnier.. hahaha

here's something that made me go =_=''' at 9.38am this morning..


Just Mraz being himself.. only human... (oh yes we areeeeee... Only Human);)

About weddings..

i stumbled across a lovely wedding video of local-taiwanese artist Fish Leong and Tony Chao who were married early this year..

after watching this video, especially the part where the husband declares his own vows while at the brink of breaking down, it gives me a sense of hope and expectation of spending an honorable life together as 2 wholes before God. I like what one of the best men said to the camera "No return NO exhange!" ahahah i don't expect my own wedding to be super dreamy or high end. just something that will be beautifully memorable to me =)

enjoy..

Fish Leong and Tony Chao from Mayad Studios on Vimeo.

He always lifts me.. this time to be an eagle!

This morning, after a slightly rough night, i had a weird awakening in my spirit or heart..or i dunno what, about rising up. and immediately thought of an eagle. and as i did a simply search on it, guess what i found? =)

Leadership- eagles have characteristics of a great leader:

1) Vision - Just like the eagle, all leaders must have vision. The eagle's eyes can see great distances. They can also directly into the sun without being blinded.

2) Eagles Never Eat Dead Meat - You will never see an eagle eating meat that it did not kill. An eagle is not a scavenger. It hunts for and kills its own food. It hunts for the prey while it's warm and alive. You as a leader must go where the action is.

3) Looks For & Flies Into Storms - As storms approach, lesser birds head for cover, but the might eagle spreads its wings and with a great cry mounts upon the powerful updrafts, soaring to heights of glory. Eagles use the storm to lift him to these great heights. Leaders use storms (challenges); we don't run from them. To leaders, storms are tools used for their development.

4) Very Gentle & Attentive To Their Young - The eagle is known for its ferocity, yet no member of the bird family is more gently and attentive to its young. At just the right time, the mother eagle begins to teach her eaglets how to fly. She gathers an eaglet onto her back, and spreading her wings, flies high. Suddenly she swoops out from under the eaglet and as it falls, it gradually learns what its wings are for until the mother catches it once again on her wings. The process is repeated. If the young is slow to learn or cowardly, she returns him to the nest, and begins to tear it apart, until there is nothing left for the eaglet to cling to. Then she nudges him off the cliff.

You might have heard the argument about whether great leaders are born or made. The fact is great leaders are born but great leaders are also made.

I admit that I am not a born leader. But im definately being made into one by God. I also admit that its hard and tiring! Totally not what i would naturally want to do. I mean, i can lead when i want to. But when it comes to things that i don't naturally want to care about, hmmm... I might chose to just let it slack =P having the "not my problem anyway, why should i care so much.." kind of attitude. but as i let God's glory shine on those dark areas (bo pien i always go to where the glory shines- church lor), it definately drives out all these 'shadows' in my life, and God has changed me to be more like Him, to have His heart, which is a heart that cares and loves unconditionally. So.. i basically have no choice but to change, when i get exposed to the "SON" (sun) and so here I am.. blogging about this, because I care, and want to make a difference in lives.

This is yet another time where God has spoken so clearly to me.. so inspiring! Indeed, as the homepage image of my blog says "I Will Exalt the One Who LIFTED me!" He always lifts me!! and this verse was not chosen by accident.

Dear Father God,

Reveal to me my true level of influence on others. Show me my weaknesses so that i may submit them to You for Your grace. Strengthen me so that i can serve You better through leadership, and increase my influence with others. Teach me to be a salt and light to others, not to benefit myself, but to add value to others. And above all, empower me to place my family first when it comes to leadership. Let me influence begin with a modeling of a faithful life. The more the devil says i'm mediocre or a failure, the more im gonna rise up, blog, talk, care, and train others to be Your leaders. In you mighty name I pray and thank you for everything! Amen.

No matter how many times, and how many creative ways i will fall and fail, God still is and will forever be- My righteousness and holiness, The Lifter of my head!

I want many things too..

I realized that i seldom blog about what I like. My wishlist on the right side column of my blog is severely outdated!

So since I'm so stuck and sienz of doing my thesis now.. i shall talk about good things, and maybe the inspirations will come later! hehe
My most updated wishlist:

1. Diana F+ Lomo camera deluxe kit
2. > 3.5 CGPA with a High Second Upper (down graded version of 1stClass Hons)
3. My little Bob Dog pencil case to come back! iv been keeping you for 15 freaking years for goodness sake!
4. new pencil case (till my bob dog gets back =_=)
5. to succesfully get in Hewitt Assc and work at my dream employer (for the moment)
6. Master deg. Everything i need is at Jesus' feet :)
7. Go back to Cambodia for 3 months within the next 3 years
8. get married within 3 years
9. a pair of size 3 Converses that can fit my micro feet.
10. 20 working adults and 20 college students in my cg
11. Aviator sunglasses.. just broke my SGD 10 - 1+ years old black rimmed ones, dont want to be loaning one forever~
12. my girls and boys to live life to the fullest and to their fullest potential
13. a peaceful life

my hope is on this:
And God is able to make all things abound towards me, that I, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work" 2 Cor 9:8

I will serve You while i'm waiting, i will worship when i'm waiting. My Father is a rich man, and i'm royalty, should have no prob getting it all =P

so far so good for now.. will see how many i get and cut off by the end of the year ya!! hehehe syok sendiri!

I Will Exalt You =)

The Lion in me =)

People say I'm born in the "year of the tiger". But what they don;t know is that The Lion lives in me! Try and beat that!

1 Peter 5:8
8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

The devil cannot just walk right up to you and rob you of your health, peace or family. He cannot just come into your life to enforce disease and destruction.

If the devil can do that, then he does not have to walk about “seeking whom he may devour”. He only has to walk straight up to anyone he wants to devour and devour him! But since the Bible says that he goes about seeking whom he may devour, the truth then is that there are people whom he cannot devour.

You see, the devil goes about like a roaring lion trying to stir up fear in people with his roars. But the people who are not devourable are those who refuse to be intimidated by his roars because they know that the true Lion of Judah, Jesus Christ (Revelation 5:5), has already come and rendered powerless him who had the power of death. (Hebrews 2:14, NASB) They know that the devil cannot just do anything to them because the Lion of Judah resides in them, and that He is greater than the devil who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

My friend, the Lion of Judah is in you. He has given you rights, privileges, authority and power. He redeemed you with His blood. Therefore, everything about you and your life is redeemed by His blood. So if you are fearful about losing your job, cover your job with the blood of Jesus. If you are worried about your children’s safety in these days of terrorist attacks, plead the blood of Jesus over them. If you have received a bad report from the doctor, speak the blood over yourself.

Whatever you have covered with the blood of Jesus, God declares, “Protected! Redeemed!” And the devil flees when he sees the blood. And when he flees, he takes with him sicknesses, diseases, pains, sufferings, destruction and loss.

Once the devil knows that you know who you are in Christ and what you have in Him, his days of intimidating you are over, and you are numbered among the undevourable!

2010... i can smell the things coming!!

i actually tried to upload some photos that were the highlights of my 2009 and in rememberance of this wonderfully perculiar year. but somehow the uploading failed after many tries, and i gave up. i also didnt really feel like blogging throughout the whole november and december, which ironically was my 2 months of holidays. who says, you are free during your holidays? HAHA

i know a lot of people blogged about their reflection on the past year, and their hopes and dreams for the new year. i was greatly encourage and proud of some people for being able to face and overcome their fears more boldly, some had their lives turned around by Jesus, some entering new phases of their lives, and some.. well.. are just thankful for being alive!

for me, honestly, i didnt really WANT to reflect in detail on 2009, because there were many things i didnt want to remember. doesn't sound like me right. i know. few things that happened were just too painful to look back on, what more to ponder upon. those things were just not worth my time, and memory. it does sound like im running away, and what happen to the Michi that was full of faith and hope?

So this year, i did something different. Yes, i do have my 2010 hopes and dreams prepared and talked it out with God. So i just PLUNGED into the new year. its very unlike what i have done before. I decided that i would go straight on. Being superthankful to God for His abundant love and grace upon my life, and looking forward to the things to come. i thank God for G who has been a great encouragement to me, by the way you live, and by your love for God and people.

Here, i want to announce and proclaim, that my 2010 is going to be superDifferent. I can smell my hopes and dreams coming to reality. I can smell God preparing something in the kitchen, behind the scenes. I can see it coz its behind the 'curtain', but i sure can smell the exhillarating aroma!!! I cant tell anyone yet, coz i dont know either.. But when the time comes, i know you all will be happy for me, and i ask for your encouragement and support =)

I will be finishing up my last papers in Uni by this April. Doing internship from May-June. Then after that, lies a mystery.... wooo... im lovin' it!!

Congrats to a few of my dear friens.. C&D, A&B, K&P... for making the decision of their lives! May God bless you all superabundantly with strength, grace, patience and love for each other. May you all grow to know and discover more of God's will for your lives TOGETHER!

To those that are still unattached, do purpose in your heart that this year will be a significant one to you. God is behind the scenes, preparing something for you. NEVER doubt that He loves you, and knows your heart. He KNOWS who you like =P and He KNOWS who likes you =P Pray for the correct TIMING and prepare yourselves. REST in Him, and God will take care of the rest.

God's grace has gone deep, as i let my heart be ransomed, be caught by Jesus. The Lover n Maker of my life.

"The is no one else for me, none but Jesus;
Crucified to set me free, now I live to bring You praise!
All my delilght is in You Lord,
All of my Hope, all of my Strength;
All my delight is in You Lord, forevermore!"

I love you Jesus

There is NO Plan B!!

to say that things are fine is an understatement.. to say its a disaster is pathetic.. haha but to say that i know God is always in control no matter what things are like outside the window.. is accurate =) and that there is NO Plan B.

i only have but this to hold on to..

"God is not a man, that He should lie. Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has he spoken, and will He not make it good?" (Num 23:10)

Go figure.

Father You are king OVER the flood, and i will be still and know You are God!!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

They say that life is to be fortified by many friendships..
In these times of immense pressure, besides God, its these photos i've turned to for comfort. thank you for your support, comfort, for believing in me, your patience, kindness, faithfulness and love.

thank you all and love you very much !!!

An even more interesting happy title!!

Has the title stirred up your interest to read this post? Aihh.. i do get a bit caught up in a frenzy at times.. Coz im still your crazy Michi =P

So here's a small annoncement to make but is a big impact in my life: Michi is a happy Yakid! Still very single but only available to 2 people: God, and someone else =)

To those who have known me for a long time would more or less know how big this would impact me. I'm glad that all the time spent becoming who i am is all worthwhile. This preparation even includes tolerating and embracing sweaty palms.. go figure.

From deep down i want to thank God for all these good 23 years of singlehood bliss.. and for the many other years to come to enjoy, appreciate and serve each other and most of all to love, honor, and serve God and taking care of His people together. I thank God for you =)

I'm happy happy happy happy!! =)

A more interesting title for my heart's content =P

The title is titled the way its titled because it was a suggestion from a dear friend to make it sound more catchy.. lol..

Finally.. my heart's content: (its kinda long, but important. so do read till the end =P )

If to distant lands i scatter
If i sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
'till i only dwell in Thee

If i flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'till i only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one amibtion
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision
'till i only dwell in Thee
That i only dwell in Thee
'till i ONLY DWELL THEE...!




This is my long awaited serious blog..
After all that was said and done, today the fruits are growing and showing.
After spending pieces of quality time with God, reflecting on the past months and past years.. i only have one thing to say: Thank you Jesus for everyone and everything.

Past few months had been very hard on me, but not as hard as it was on the closest darlings around me. I think it has been the hardest times of our lives! But the fact that we're still moving and breathing, proves that we are made to be much more tougher, stronger and wiser to go through everything and yet come out.. maybe burnt a bit by the 'fire', but still alive and well. (All of) You will be fine, just hang on to the ultimate Anchor and Rock.

Some have experienced a great 'loss', but i want them to know that it is nothing but the largest gain. Some lived their lives so well, and is ours to learn from... All that they were and did was for us to see and to know where their inspiration came from. Pain and grief are real to feel, but its the details in the fine print of their lives that we extract into our own that makes us stronger than we have ever been.

Some were hit by waves of confusion, indefinite situations, sleepless, pillows-soaked-wet-by-tears nights.. wondering and sometimes even to the exent of nearly getting drowned by those huge cruel waves. They seemed never ending, and you felt like you would NEVER make it out alive. But now they could step outside and began to see the bigger picture, and realize that its not so overwhelming afterall.. We can expect that people do change over time, and we cannot control them. However, we can gracefully release them to do what they want. It's our greatest gift to them and to ourselves. Now you can look back and see that it is good, and most of all, God is good.

Some have tasted and seen that God is good. They have experienced so much of Him in such short time. Honestly, i dont envy but admire them, and can't help but think that God may have been a little unfair =P But this is who God is.. not unfair =P.. but good. The past years had indeed been hard and uncertain, and even very much painful and aimless too. But if only they let Him be who He is in their lives. Expect God to show up to guide (not control) your every decision, plan and dream.. and knowww that He is what all of us say He is.. He is good. None of their lives can ever, EVER be the same again.

Some have loved much, and got hurt just as much. But they did the right thing.. they had LOVED. But to love also means risking getting hurt. We can't deny this wonderful package we have. Altho we dont expect hurt to get hurt, it still just might attack unnoticed and unintended. One thing is for sure, they should not regret the amount of time, emotions, expectations they had on people. They were only human. But do know that all that they have done, loving and all.. is accounted for. Love may not be returned by the people they show love to, but it WILL come back to them, from unexpected sources.. Moving on to greater heights takes much courage as it also means going into the unknown. What's going to happen to them next? Are they going to love and be disappointed yet again? Maybe, but if you loved, then you have lived. Period. Remember the greatest of faith, hope and love, is still LOVE.

As for me..
i have but one thing to say to sum it all.

Everything happens for a reason. The people around me, what they are to me is for a reason. NOTHING is coincidence or accident. I look back on the ugly times, how cruel, how unfair, how much anguish it has caused, heart-breaking events, soul & hope-killing moments. Why must it happen to us? honestly, till now i still don't know. How nice it would be for all of us to go through life smoothly sailing on our favourite personal yatch? When everyday is Friday or Christmas or Valentines day or Chinese NEw YEar(i heart dry pork)or Easter?

But i have realized that there will be days like May 13, Good friday, September 11, the day my grandpa passed away, the day people break up with their bf/gf, or the last day a man and woman goes through before they are called Divorsees the next day. How cruel is this? How cruel people can be to each other? How heartless can you be to me?

haha.. and how sad can Solomon in Ecclesiastes 1:18 be??
(vs 18) And i set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this is also grasping in the wind.
(vs19) For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases in sorrow." FOR WHAT? better not be wise, when you know sorrow is gonna follow you right???
(vs 15) So i said in my heart "As it happends to the FOOL (stupids), It also happeneds to me, and why was i then more wise? (terrible!)"
(vs 16) for there is no more remembrance of the wise than of a fool forever, since all that now is, will be forgotten in the days to come. And how does a wise man die? The same way as a fool!

So why on earth do we even care about doing the right things or living to the fullest? When everything is going to waste anyway?? However wise you are, fact is, you are gonna die the same way as the stupidest person you know.

Soloman also warns us that as you enjoy to live many years, and rejoice in all of them, yet.. do remember the days of darkness, for they will be many..all that is coming is wasteful! (Ecc 11:8)

pause.. this is depressing.

but King Solomon being the wisest man on earth.. ending all this crapping and complaining about life with this:

(Ecc 11:9-10) Young people, it's wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it! Do all you want to; take in everything, but realize that you must account to God for everything you do. So banish grief and pain, but remember that youth, with all the years before it, can make serious mistakes.
and then he ended his complaining by Eccle 12:13 " Here is my final conclusion: honour and respect God and obey his commandments, for this is the entire duty of man."

After complaining about life for the whole 12 chapters, Soloman acknowledged that ultimately, God was and will always be the only constant in life. If you feel like leaving and running away, no one can stop you. As you run, you can expect to run your whole life. on the other hand, though its the most painful and nerve-wrecking thing to do, facing the challenges are the most noble and wise thing you can do for YOURSELF, not for your friend, and certainly not for God. After what everyone has said, its up to you. God is just waiting to be apart of your life, you don;t need to do it alone. Trust me, trust us. We love you all too much to see you wander alone. We are and always be here for you.

This song is called The Hymn. If you're not so poetically & sentimentally inclined, hope you would enjoy the melody and feel of the song. To me, it says:

no matter how far off i wander,
even if it seems like i may not make it back,
would God come to search for me? till im back safely with Him

if i run away from the safest place, from His will, my greenest pasture,
would God care to come after me?
even if it means letting go of His throne and glory
instead, putting on a crown made of thorns, and dying the most shameful death.
yes, he would and he did.

everyone out there.. this is who God is ya.
you WILL go through harder things in life, this is just the beginning. But you KNOW where and Who to look to. You look UP, to your Creator. Who is for you, to defend you, protect you, comfort you, guide you and love you. He'll make you a surfing board to surf through the waves and not get drowned.

Who you are is His gift to you; who you can be is your gift to Him.

*sings*
if my heart has one ambition, if my soul 1 goal to seek,
this is my solitary vision, 'till i only dwell in Thee...!

That i only dwell in thee..

~Monkey business~

Well.. i was planning to update my blog with a very serious post talking seriously about serious things that are seriously going on in my serious life. But as a few seriously urgent assignments are seriously driving my brain seriously nuts, and after reading my Vain lil brother's blogpost about some seriously random stuff, i figured that i should seriously cool down my serious brain from being occupied by too many serious things. Read again: serious things aren't bad for health, but it can seriously do serious damage to humourous lame side of you, which actually the side that keeps you sane afterall =) am i seriously confusing you? hahaha too bad then.. so now... heres some serious monkey business questions that might keep you entertained as i prepare mentally to write about more serious things in the coming serious future... LOL.. enjoy =P

(Jojo's convo)

(Shout Awards 2009)

1. What have you been doing recently?
Wasting my precious brain juice on un-enjoyable assignments, a time of serious thinking and praying while settling relational stuff, having the time of my life watching Man Utd players in Bkt Jalil, and pondering on what the future will be.

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
NO. i got screamed at a few times when my battery died. Why is always when the batteries dies that im sooooo sort after? Call me and talk all you want when my fine is fine larrr.. Your wrong timings are you loss ya =P

3. What happened at 10am today?
i got stuck in a terrible stupid jam on jln loke yew while heading to college, just because there was an accident on the opposite side of the road.. as usual Malaysian being their teeribly kepoh self will slow down and even stop to enjoy watching people suffer and die, than move on with their own lives. i hope Malaysians dont get any dumber than this. Bless you with common sense & wisdom!!

4. When did you last cry?
about 2weeks ago. haha

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Destiny

6. What do you want in life now?
I want to live life to the fullest, live in every moment, and enjoy the adventure God has for me here the pitstop- Earth.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or put up your hood?
Im always too lazy to carry an unbrella. But i would put up my hood if i had 1 when it rained.

8. What's your favourite thing to do in bed?
Sleep la.. abudennn?

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
Padini Authentic jeans. i like =)

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
daily devotionals from New Creation Church & Ransomed Heart ministries =)

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
nope. i like things clear cut, sweet and sincere.

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
Nope. hardly ever

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Public enemies!! christian bale is charming =)

14. What are you proud of?
The friends & friendships i have made, my people God has put to be my family not by their choice, the church that God has placed me in.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say and who is it from?


16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Love is Waiting by Brooke Fraser. that song has been stuck in my heard since yesterday =P

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Mish, Michi, michi girl, beautiful mish (lol).. dats abt it..

18. What does the newest text messgae say and who is it from?
"Going off now, still at libry?" frm Gish

19. What time did you sleep last night?
2.03am i think.

20. Are you currently happy?
Not really. Had a rough day..

21. Who gives you the best advice?
not 1 single person. prolly my chingu, jacwyn, sometimes gish, sometimes nally woo when she feels inspired and my pastors.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Yes!!! and love it!!

23. Who did you talked to on the phone last night?
mei ling

24. Is something bugging you right now?
Yes. but its for me to know, and for you to find out.

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
Kish & Gish.

26. Do you like yourself?
Yes, i do.

27. You want $5 or $10?
$10. But both if i may.

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Sometimes, perhaps.

29. Who is your best best best friend?
Chingu & Li Han. got another one also.

30. What will you do if you like that boy?
Be myself

31. Who are your favourite stars?
Brooke Fraser & Lee Hom for singers, Sandra Bullock & Gerrard Butler for actors.

32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
Not hate, but frustrated. just like wat kelvin said.

33. Do you had even stead before??
Huh?

34. What type of boy/ girl do you like?
Smart, funny, charming, caring, responsible & dedicated =) just like me!

35. Now are you single/attached?
I'm single.

I'll tag the usuals and then follow Mel's way of randomly tag other people.

1. Charissa
2. Joanna (coz i just saw her just now)
3. Connie
4. Kish
5. Gish
6. Nally
7. Jac
8. Elaine
9. Robin
10. Li Han


1. Would you date number 5?
Maybe, would require consideration...

2. Number 2 just got in a car crash. How do you react
Pray & RUsh to her rescue. If its too late fr rescue, ill rush to the hospital.

3. You see number 9 with your boy/girlfriend. What do you do?
Say hi and ask if i can butt in =P

4. You come home and and your room has been ransacked by number 4.
Throw his Nike shoes down the deepest drain!

5. Number 1 is acting weird.
Asked her whats wrong

6. Numbers 3 & 8 decide to give 10 a haircut.
ok, but be very very very careful

7. Number 7 just got tickets for him/her and you to go to a concert.
say.... YESHHHHH

8. Number 10 takes you to a bar.
go lor

9. Number 4 has to move to the other side of the world.
Miss him lorr, then bug him on facebook, skype, msn everyday... lol

10. You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
Stop and ask them to mind their own business..

11. Number 7 and you are sitting on the couch watching a movie when he/her wrap his/her arm around you.
FREAK OUT!

12. Number 5 asks you out to dinner.
sure, but be ready to pay for 2 =P lol

13. Number 9 and you are sitting on a bus.
we will be joking and laughing about everything all the way

14. Number 6 calls you in the middle of the night because he/she can't sleep.
Hear her problem and pray that she falls asleep half way talking to me =P

15. You're walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
Get up and start chasing her

16. Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
I'll go get the boyfriend and make him regret dumping her.

17. Number 2 offers to bake you a meal. As you sit in the other room, the kitchen is suddenly aflame.
Laugh 1st, then get the fire extinguisher.

18. Number 4 comes to your door one day holding a koala.
Take pity on the poor koala that may have mistook number 4 as its tree.. wait a min.. no.4 DOES look like a tree.. lol

19. Number 4 just got you an X-Box.
Thank him, and lend it to him for the rest of my life =) im THAT good

20. Number 9 challenges you to a children's card game!
No problem

21. Number 1 thinks he/she's overweight.
HAhaha that will never happen

22. Number 7 looks lonely.
bring her to eat kerang

23. Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave her/him alone.
ok.. but i'll be back to check 5mins later.

24. Numbers 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise party for you.
GREAT! the most capable people to plan a party!! im gonna have the best party ever!

25. Number 6 decide to dye his/her hair blue. What do you say to that?
Nice color, just hope that it doesnt fade and turn green.

26. Number 7 tells you he/she is going to go out for a while, and then later you hear about a shooting where he/she went.
call her immediately to ask how is she

27. You catch number 9 by him/herself, crying.
sit and cry together, then ask whats wrong

28. Numbers 1, 3, 5 and 6 all tackle you at once.
lie there for a while.. then make them wish they didnt.

wowww thats some entertainment for a stressful time like this.. stay tuned for more =)

bye bye people!