the little email from the little one that brought me GREAT joy

after reading this e-mail.. i was speechless for a few moments, then a smile creeped up on my face.. this came from a 11 year old who i love very dearly, but havent had the chance to catch up with since i moved on from this ministry.

hey, what are you doing now, where are you now, are you working, nice seeing you at church 18.4.2010 see you at next week at church how is your work okey tats all i am going to say god bless you and your family bye bye

i saw him in church today.. at first we had a glimpse of each other from the gaps between many other people sittig between us. he saw me, i saw him, then we both rocked in front and smiled at each other.. i loved THAT VERY MOMENT. it touched me so much! and when i got home, i was so surprised that he emailed me the above.. My heart wells up with joy.. joy that i havent felt in a long time.

funny how the smallest things like this can bring such great and unspeakable joy at this point of time. its a sign.. its a sign.. that God is Emmanuel- He is with me, God is with US. and He never leaves us.

another chun experience in church today. 2 old songs touched the depths of my heart again. it was those songs that i grew up with, was those songs that i got to know God, what He felt for me and how much He loves me.

Above All-
"He took the fall, and thought of me, above all."
when He was hanging on the cross, dripping with blood, I am was on His mind.

Sing (I love You so)-
"It USED to be darkness without You.
I LIVED my life in blindness, but now I'm found

and I'll sing! Sing 'I love You so'!!
and I'll sing! becaus e the world can't take away Your love!

I'll give my life for You Lord, for all You've done"

Thank you Lord!
thank you that i AM no longer and WILL no longer be in darkness bcause of You gave yourself for me. there is NO MORE darkness to those that are found by Jesus. to continue to say we are in darkness and STAY in the darkness, and even sometimes ENJOY the darkness- is an insult to you and your death. There might me mountains and valleys, promised lands and desserts, but NO MORE DARKNESS! because in You there is no more darkness. You have made us to be light, as you are, PERMANENTLY and ETERNALLY. YOUR light has lighted up all the dark areas of my life. and therefore, i will no longer complain about darkness, because it is non-existent to me after i have You in my life. I will also not bow down and not be shaken by anyone who are children of light but complain that they are stuck in darkness and deliberately dont want to move. it is non sensical and illogical. i have deep compassion for them, will pray for them but will not give in to it. and i admire christians who have the purest and most childlike hearts. teach me to be like them Lord. I want to be like that little one who loves others unconditionally, yet not affected by the world. Because He is so safe and loved in your arms. I want to be safe, rested and unmovable in You arms =) Amen i call it forth!

As we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let us run! let us run! with perseverence the race set before us.

Go lower to go higher

these past few weeks have been extremely hard and challenging. on top of thesis deadline, assignments deadlines, looking for internship, studying for my final 3 papers of my entire deg program, things concerning the relational part of my life didnt get easier.. i won't elaborate coz its under the Blood of Jesus, but through all of this, i've learn 1 big big lesson: in order to go higher, you have to go lower. all because i have accepted the dream that takes a lifetime- leadership (j.Maxwell) and throughout the process of reading this amazing book, i did pray b4, that i want to experience and be conscious of everything i am reading. God heard me, and brought many parts of the book to life.

Maxwell summarizes it here:
1. it's not the dream of a lifetime; it's the dream that takes a lifetime.
2. it takes time to grow as a leader.
3. it takes trials to grow as a leader.
4. it takes God's help to grow as a leader.

...so... hehehe
at the moment, i do feel defeated, sad, frustrated, impatient, feel that i havent done enough, feel helpless and empty. But not without hope, faith and love ;) Thank God, there is still faith, hope and love. Faith that God knows best and works all things out for good; Hope that all things will INDEED work out for and according to God's purpose; and love, for the way God loves me and how i want to love people around me the way He does. No, i've not given up; and i sure hope i will never. But i'm just pausing for a moment, to see whats happening and asking God how to get through this. my presence of mind will be back soon ;)

Dear God,
If my heart has grown cold, there You love will unfold, as You open my eyes to the work of your hands. When Im blind to my way, there Your spirit will pray, as You open my eyes to the work of Your hands. Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like You have loved me! Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom's cause as i walk from earth into eternity. Help me to become a better leader, Lord. Reveal the dream You have for my life. PLace i in my heart, and re-kindle my passion for it! While You help me to grow, teach me to embrace the whole development process. Give me patience when i need it and passion when it's appropriate. Teach me to look beyond my life and desires. And when I'm ready, show me the big picture as You did for Joseph!I love You Lord, and so i'll pass it on.

i miss God.. i miss ps prince's voice on mp3~ haha

just for keepsake..
to remind myself of what are my priorities, essentials, and things that matter the most.. dont want to be like the person in the bible who looked at himself in the mirror who turned away and immediately forgot what he saw..

thank you Ps Prince for today's devotional, and reminding me of who JEsus is- King and Lord over the storm =)

Matthew 14:27
27But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”
Are you going through a dark, difficult moment in your life? Perhaps the storm just rages on with no let-up and you are trembling in fear. You feel that any time now, you may just cave in and go under because you cannot beat this storm.

Be comforted that Jesus sees what you are going through and He always comes to where you are in your darkest hour. He did that for His disciples one stormy night on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus came, walking on the stormy waters, walking on top of the problem that was threatening to overwhelm them. He is indeed the King and Lord over the storms!

When your eyes are on Christ, even though the storms are raging and the winds are blowing, you will know that you are above your troubles and circumstances. When people ask you how you are doing under the circumstances, tell them, “I am not under the circumstances. I am on top of them because my God is above all!”

Don’t be fearful. He will come to you walking on the stormy waters. Hear His comforting voice telling you, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

And as you behold Jesus, you become like Him. You will find yourself doing things you did not know you could do. You will, like Peter, walk on water. This happens when you are occupied with the person of Jesus, with His resources, love, wisdom, ability, power and majesty.

My friend, even during the times when you take your eyes off Jesus, He never takes His eyes off you. And when you cry out to Him, He will immediately stretch out His hand to catch hold of you. You will not go under.

There may be times that you are not able to find your way back. Jesus will then hold your hand and walk you back to the boat. And like Peter, you will realize that with your hand in His, the storm will come to a standstill!