26th december 2004. yea, the day afte Christmas.But other than that ?Sounds just like another ordinary day to me.. Well, God had defenately woke the world up from its "Christmas night sweet dream".. A bright and sunday morning, pagans were normally alsleep while christians got ready for church.
Little did anyone know, that the ground declared war against each other. They fought with all their might, and shook the earth and the sea above them. Tourists were sun bathing, picknickers were feasting, fisherman were drying their nets, some just coming back from the sea, others still out there..kids were building sand castles, the locals were sleeping in. Some life guards scanning the ocean figured that there was something different about the way the sea looked. OKla.. maybe just for name sake, lets warn the happy people that later bacame not so happy to keep their distance from the sea shore.
A few minutes later, these life guards became saviours. The ground beneath Aceh, Indonesia shook , spilt and swallowed up the whole city!! Its brother, chose to shake under da sea...which later then created gigantic tides and became a tsunami as it reached the shore line. 30meter high walls of water came crashing down from the sea.It came upon Indonesia,Sri lanka, India, Thailand, Africa, the Maldieves and yess..Malaysia, it reached out, it destroyed anything that stood in its way, it drowned a 100,000 of mankind and it went home. These 100,000 fragile lives....taken. But with a reason.
"For nations will rise against nation,and kingdom against kingdome.And there will be famine, and earthquakes in various places.But all these are just the beginning of sorrows" Matt 24:7
"And there will be signs in the sun,moon and in the stars; and on earth destress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaing; men's hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken." Luke 21:25-26
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Was Santa really coming to town?
"Silver bells....silver bells...its Chirstmas time in the city...Ring-a-ling...hear them ring..soon it will be Christmas day!!" This Christmas album is an ancient casette which is my family's collection since more than 20 year back.. I've grown up with these songs...which the likes of Barbara Streisand,Andy Williams,The Ray Conniff Singers, Johnny Cash,Frank Sinatra,PattiPage,Jim Nabors,Elvis Presley,Robert Goulet,NatKing Cole, Kenny Rogers, Jerry Vale, Lionel Richie,and....okok....kk... this has no end. Me also an oldies (preferbaly ...60's) fan...those were darn romactic pieces.. bt... does not necesssarily carry true love..God's kind of love.
Anyway, Christmas for me.. since a child, was a season of getting LOADS of prezzies.. thanks to the aunts, uncles,grdmas and ever so loving grand aunts.. its also when we write letters to Santa telling him what we want this year.. in standard one..i remembered asking him 4 2 front teeth that fell off during the year.. ohh goshhh! other requests were like...Rapunzel Barbie, Egyption Barbie, Prince Ken, a My Little Pony video tape, a Jem And The Holigrams series, the Pink lace dress in the shop the other day, the silver kitten heels shoes, a pair roller blades, a civilised kid to sit beside me next year...(yes, i did hav weird ppl in class), the hair band with the fuzzie halo attached, ohh yess!! and a BraveHeart bear ( from the care bears)!!!
Kids had to go to bed early on Christmas Eve. So that Santa could drop by to put the presents under the tree.. HAHAHAHA and one more thing...We had to put a huge mug of Ribena and cookies out in the hall for the tired Santa! so that he could have a bite or two before continuing his journey to other homes..haha in the end i found out that it was my uncle who ate and drank the stuff..n tricked me into believing that Santa really came!! We also had 3 stockings hung on the wall...so that if there werent enuff place under the tree, Santa could put it into the stockings... once my aunt said she heard bells ringing outside the house.. n saw a group of deers outside.. n also head a huge thud in living room..n sed that Santa could become invisible and slid into the house by walking thru the glass door!!!!~~
These....were things that gave me thrills and excitement wen i was a kid.. i guess many other kids thought the same as well... THANKS to the extreamly imaginative adults..!
The year i became suspicious was when i was 6years old..n soon discovered that it was all hoax. It was rathe dissapointing..but was also encouraged that i was smart enuff to catch my uncle eating the cookies i left during the night.. ( i set of on a quest ..to sneek up on Santa to see how he actually looked like..n well..he was big...round tummy..bt black..coz it was my uncle)... This was the Christmas a long time ago..
Anyway, Christmas for me.. since a child, was a season of getting LOADS of prezzies.. thanks to the aunts, uncles,grdmas and ever so loving grand aunts.. its also when we write letters to Santa telling him what we want this year.. in standard one..i remembered asking him 4 2 front teeth that fell off during the year.. ohh goshhh! other requests were like...Rapunzel Barbie, Egyption Barbie, Prince Ken, a My Little Pony video tape, a Jem And The Holigrams series, the Pink lace dress in the shop the other day, the silver kitten heels shoes, a pair roller blades, a civilised kid to sit beside me next year...(yes, i did hav weird ppl in class), the hair band with the fuzzie halo attached, ohh yess!! and a BraveHeart bear ( from the care bears)!!!
Kids had to go to bed early on Christmas Eve. So that Santa could drop by to put the presents under the tree.. HAHAHAHA and one more thing...We had to put a huge mug of Ribena and cookies out in the hall for the tired Santa! so that he could have a bite or two before continuing his journey to other homes..haha in the end i found out that it was my uncle who ate and drank the stuff..n tricked me into believing that Santa really came!! We also had 3 stockings hung on the wall...so that if there werent enuff place under the tree, Santa could put it into the stockings... once my aunt said she heard bells ringing outside the house.. n saw a group of deers outside.. n also head a huge thud in living room..n sed that Santa could become invisible and slid into the house by walking thru the glass door!!!!~~
These....were things that gave me thrills and excitement wen i was a kid.. i guess many other kids thought the same as well... THANKS to the extreamly imaginative adults..!
The year i became suspicious was when i was 6years old..n soon discovered that it was all hoax. It was rathe dissapointing..but was also encouraged that i was smart enuff to catch my uncle eating the cookies i left during the night.. ( i set of on a quest ..to sneek up on Santa to see how he actually looked like..n well..he was big...round tummy..bt black..coz it was my uncle)... This was the Christmas a long time ago..
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
The bad.The good.& what God thinks about it.
havent been here in some time.. lots of stuff have been happening in the pass 1 week.. confusing, dissapointing, saddening, worriying, discouaging...gotla those that are weirdly interesting,mind boggling, fulfilling,out of this world, crappy, edifiying and most of all mind-changing.
It all started at the started of the Deepa-Raya celebrations collaborating with a fund raiser for poor kids in Sudan.Honestly, i wasnt being myself for a whole 2/3 weeks & started to grow freaking tired and bored of living life like a total rutein..& when things dont go the way i planned...things unplanned comin up...people who dont act the way they shud... people who in a way dey shudnt... and the list will never end. Also started speaking and crapping like never before..& getting aggitated & freaking irritated whenever a lil thing seemed out of place.
People around me have indeed felt,sensed, and pointed it out..What went wrong?
Someone quoted: When you feel like God seems further away, guess who moved?
How many times of recomitting myself back to God do i need to get myself right? Suddenly..surrending myself at the altar ..wanting so desperately to be broken and tansformed...didnt do much good.. Or did i do wholeheatedly..or just selfishly wanting a change ?..just to feel better.
But..u see.I know whats wrong and why its going wrong.. I also know exactly what to do...but just too lazy to do it.. Is there such a thing as a Mental Honeymoon..?
At the end of it..is there any other way other than Gods very own spoken words to turn to..? Iv 4gotten..4 a period of time..that I ..MESELF actually had a living God living rite inside of me..
Jesus says that we shoud speak to the situation, not about them..
Iv also underestimated the power of spoken words,speech and idle talk.. Wait!~ Didnt i make a committment 2 put that away long ago.. cant believe it slowly..veeery slowly..crept back in..like a thief in the night..
Coz whatever we say can either MAKE or BREAK the atmosphere...
hahah lookin back... how much of time,energy,& brains iv wasted worriying,thinking too hard on worthtless things..
But on the brighter side of it, i wudnt have known what were my weakest points..n wer n how that devil slipped in..
Ps.Kenneth reminded me. WE are the atmosphere builders.WE change situations around. Also..
The essence of leadeship: Seek to understand.Then, to be understood.
It all started at the started of the Deepa-Raya celebrations collaborating with a fund raiser for poor kids in Sudan.Honestly, i wasnt being myself for a whole 2/3 weeks & started to grow freaking tired and bored of living life like a total rutein..& when things dont go the way i planned...things unplanned comin up...people who dont act the way they shud... people who in a way dey shudnt... and the list will never end. Also started speaking and crapping like never before..& getting aggitated & freaking irritated whenever a lil thing seemed out of place.
People around me have indeed felt,sensed, and pointed it out..What went wrong?
Someone quoted: When you feel like God seems further away, guess who moved?
How many times of recomitting myself back to God do i need to get myself right? Suddenly..surrending myself at the altar ..wanting so desperately to be broken and tansformed...didnt do much good.. Or did i do wholeheatedly..or just selfishly wanting a change ?..just to feel better.
But..u see.I know whats wrong and why its going wrong.. I also know exactly what to do...but just too lazy to do it.. Is there such a thing as a Mental Honeymoon..?
At the end of it..is there any other way other than Gods very own spoken words to turn to..? Iv 4gotten..4 a period of time..that I ..MESELF actually had a living God living rite inside of me..
Jesus says that we shoud speak to the situation, not about them..
Iv also underestimated the power of spoken words,speech and idle talk.. Wait!~ Didnt i make a committment 2 put that away long ago.. cant believe it slowly..veeery slowly..crept back in..like a thief in the night..
Coz whatever we say can either MAKE or BREAK the atmosphere...
hahah lookin back... how much of time,energy,& brains iv wasted worriying,thinking too hard on worthtless things..
But on the brighter side of it, i wudnt have known what were my weakest points..n wer n how that devil slipped in..
Ps.Kenneth reminded me. WE are the atmosphere builders.WE change situations around. Also..
The essence of leadeship: Seek to understand.Then, to be understood.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Who Am I
Who Am I ??
Who am i..? That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am i..?That the bright morning star
Would care to light the way
Of my ever wondering heart
Not Because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who you are..
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean,vapour in th wind
Still you hear me when im calling
Lord you catch me when im falling
And told me who i am..
I am Yours.
Who am i..?That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And see me rise again
Who am i..?That the voice that calm the seas
Would call out though the rain
And calm the storms in me.
Not because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who You are.
----------------------------------------------
Thank you Father..for everything.
Who am i..? That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am i..?That the bright morning star
Would care to light the way
Of my ever wondering heart
Not Because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who you are..
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean,vapour in th wind
Still you hear me when im calling
Lord you catch me when im falling
And told me who i am..
I am Yours.
Who am i..?That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And see me rise again
Who am i..?That the voice that calm the seas
Would call out though the rain
And calm the storms in me.
Not because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who You are.
----------------------------------------------
Thank you Father..for everything.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Sweet Surrender
HUH! almost had this post done last night..when half way thru my PC kena hang..wuz like shiZZle!! mahnn!
Nvm. *sigh*
We had our 1st class with our new chemistry lecturer.goodbye Ms.Aneela. *tsk tsk tsk* But to think of it..what a waste of 4 whole months..Had a SOLID 2 hours on tutorials & another 2 on titration.Chemistry class never felt sooo fulfilling 4 a long time..Tho we are goin to have to start from scratch..Chap 1 Atoms,Molecule & Stokiometry ..but..All the better rite? Get to build a stronger foundation..or am i just comforting myself?? I do appreciate the watever effort she has put into improving herself. But it just wasnt enuff. After having 1 full lecture on the 1st topic, is when we realised how far backwards and left behind we actually were. well, i did ask God for a new lecturer ASAP..so..thank you Lord!
I never really had the patience & consistancy to write a diary last time. there were ones that lasted me 1 year the most. Let alone a blog.But i guess cz blogs are more easily accessible..So,this time..i dare myself to keep this up until i break my last record 1 year..muahaha..sesat la..
Few weeks back when i stumbled accross my old diary..Reading the stuff i had written when i was in form 3.. haha it was hilarious..!~ Talk about childish ways.. Well, i guess it just shows how much you have grown over the years..maturing in spirit,soul & body.
Again,about presbytery night at MTI tonight.Ps David did things quite differently this time. He divided the whole congregation into 2 groups..MTI foreign participants on 1 side & WorldHarvestChurch members on the other. Ps William frm KK was to pray for us.WHC mems were also divided into : normal church members, M21cell ,M22cell and assistant pastors.
God was soooo very real.The air was different.It carried a certain supernatural kinda weight..It was God's very own presence together with the Holy Spirit hovering over the crowd.Those who were waiting to be prayed for, had similar gestures , an eagerness & anticipation on what would God do?What was He going say?What is He going to expose? Well, for me..I really & always wanted to hear from God on what He wants to say about my future.A confirmation to what He said 2 years ago at HUGE camp 2002.. It all seemed so uncertain..quite impossible & ...well..dont know what to do next..
But tonight, i asked God fo something different.Or Ps William said,tonight was a time of receiving the grace,anointing & replenishing of our own spirit. Tonight, was solely given to the HolySpirit.He pointed out the areas that im extreamly fond of which i have to give to God.One thing the HS showed that hit me..was that: to be called, u have to behave like a person who has been called.To be set apart from the rest. To be called into a royal priesthood & a partnership with the Father.. He also mentioned "Evangelism in worship.."... i wonder..
Nvm. *sigh*
We had our 1st class with our new chemistry lecturer.goodbye Ms.Aneela. *tsk tsk tsk* But to think of it..what a waste of 4 whole months..Had a SOLID 2 hours on tutorials & another 2 on titration.Chemistry class never felt sooo fulfilling 4 a long time..Tho we are goin to have to start from scratch..Chap 1 Atoms,Molecule & Stokiometry ..but..All the better rite? Get to build a stronger foundation..or am i just comforting myself?? I do appreciate the watever effort she has put into improving herself. But it just wasnt enuff. After having 1 full lecture on the 1st topic, is when we realised how far backwards and left behind we actually were. well, i did ask God for a new lecturer ASAP..so..thank you Lord!
I never really had the patience & consistancy to write a diary last time. there were ones that lasted me 1 year the most. Let alone a blog.But i guess cz blogs are more easily accessible..So,this time..i dare myself to keep this up until i break my last record 1 year..muahaha..sesat la..
Few weeks back when i stumbled accross my old diary..Reading the stuff i had written when i was in form 3.. haha it was hilarious..!~ Talk about childish ways.. Well, i guess it just shows how much you have grown over the years..maturing in spirit,soul & body.
Again,about presbytery night at MTI tonight.Ps David did things quite differently this time. He divided the whole congregation into 2 groups..MTI foreign participants on 1 side & WorldHarvestChurch members on the other. Ps William frm KK was to pray for us.WHC mems were also divided into : normal church members, M21cell ,M22cell and assistant pastors.
God was soooo very real.The air was different.It carried a certain supernatural kinda weight..It was God's very own presence together with the Holy Spirit hovering over the crowd.Those who were waiting to be prayed for, had similar gestures , an eagerness & anticipation on what would God do?What was He going say?What is He going to expose? Well, for me..I really & always wanted to hear from God on what He wants to say about my future.A confirmation to what He said 2 years ago at HUGE camp 2002.. It all seemed so uncertain..quite impossible & ...well..dont know what to do next..
But tonight, i asked God fo something different.Or Ps William said,tonight was a time of receiving the grace,anointing & replenishing of our own spirit. Tonight, was solely given to the HolySpirit.He pointed out the areas that im extreamly fond of which i have to give to God.One thing the HS showed that hit me..was that: to be called, u have to behave like a person who has been called.To be set apart from the rest. To be called into a royal priesthood & a partnership with the Father.. He also mentioned "Evangelism in worship.."... i wonder..
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Lazy la......
Sort of forgot to update the date&time in me brain..woke up not knowing what date,time,day it was.. talk about total blurrness..there you have it.Thank God 4 karen who reminded me that we were supposed to meet up with DrWong the college directors reguading the fund raiser we were planning to have in collaboration with the Deepa-raya celebrations..
Mahn..what?..its november already?? *ahhdoii* In view of what was lined up for the rest of the month, didn't even dare to think of it.October was rather full,confusing,& ...unfruitful..so barren...so dry.. But didnt God say that we will bare 'much fruit' in this season? So..what happened..God?
A rather senseless and stupid question to ask a great God? yupp.Why ask God when even a kid can answer that? But i guess, every minister would also have been through this stage before..
But as PsDavid once said.."God does not need a qualified/competent person, but only a heart that is simple,childlike, and most of all..a loyal heart & willing mind to work in"
he also said "Beware that the fruitfulness of God's word in our lives is yet detemined by our receptivity and teachability." in this context...an open heart & mind to actually grab hold of whatever mistakes God has corrected in us..and do not repeat it..
Afflictions should NOT cause us to "just fling of the load onto the road".God has already given us the correct amount of grace & strength to go through it and come out StroNGeR !!
But may the God of all grace,who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus,after you have suffered a while, may come out perfect,establish, and strengthen and settle you.." (1Peter5:10)
I truly believe that this is "the waiting" time. At the same time,while waiting in faith & patience.. "Patience forms the foundation & sustains faith until the real result is manifested.The has the courage to refuse satan's favourite lie >>" God's word is not working fo you.... :P "
Similaly to a marraige vow..Only under the pressure when nothing seems to be going right..can one test the true depth of ones faith in God..
Being a Christian...in these days especially..but.. to be willing to be broken,waiting in faith and in total surrender to God...is what He is most pleased about & will definately reward you in due time.
Mahn..what?..its november already?? *ahhdoii* In view of what was lined up for the rest of the month, didn't even dare to think of it.October was rather full,confusing,& ...unfruitful..so barren...so dry.. But didnt God say that we will bare 'much fruit' in this season? So..what happened..God?
A rather senseless and stupid question to ask a great God? yupp.Why ask God when even a kid can answer that? But i guess, every minister would also have been through this stage before..
But as PsDavid once said.."God does not need a qualified/competent person, but only a heart that is simple,childlike, and most of all..a loyal heart & willing mind to work in"
he also said "Beware that the fruitfulness of God's word in our lives is yet detemined by our receptivity and teachability." in this context...an open heart & mind to actually grab hold of whatever mistakes God has corrected in us..and do not repeat it..
Afflictions should NOT cause us to "just fling of the load onto the road".God has already given us the correct amount of grace & strength to go through it and come out StroNGeR !!
But may the God of all grace,who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus,after you have suffered a while, may come out perfect,establish, and strengthen and settle you.." (1Peter5:10)
I truly believe that this is "the waiting" time. At the same time,while waiting in faith & patience.. "Patience forms the foundation & sustains faith until the real result is manifested.The has the courage to refuse satan's favourite lie >>" God's word is not working fo you.... :P "
Similaly to a marraige vow..Only under the pressure when nothing seems to be going right..can one test the true depth of ones faith in God..
Being a Christian...in these days especially..but.. to be willing to be broken,waiting in faith and in total surrender to God...is what He is most pleased about & will definately reward you in due time.
Friday, October 29, 2004
On my 18th Birthday
Hmm..the clocked striked 12.00am on wednesday night. and my phone rang its first call for the day along with my first birthday wish frm my college friend.
After all those touching calls frm friends,i decided to quieten down and talk about LIFE with the One that gave it to me.Started of by listing down in my head,through the pass 18 years..what have i actually done for God. Yes, i have lived a good normal life,hadnt done anything really wrong,loved almost everyone i ever knew,never really hated anyone,been getting good grades,serving in the worship team,ushering,a cell leader..But God, why do you seem soooo far away recently?? even more as its my birthday..you SHOULD be here with me,now..blessing me..BT den.. i think i havent spent quality time with you also.. God,things have been going rather unsteadily and uncertainly. I dont really know what im doing at any point of the day. But for today, the only things i ask for, is wisdome,knowledge,understanding, and a closer walk with You everyday.. I want you to be the centre beam,the rock,the ruler of my life. Thank you God for everything..and most of all for giving your Son to save me. yeah .. me.
After all those touching calls frm friends,i decided to quieten down and talk about LIFE with the One that gave it to me.Started of by listing down in my head,through the pass 18 years..what have i actually done for God. Yes, i have lived a good normal life,hadnt done anything really wrong,loved almost everyone i ever knew,never really hated anyone,been getting good grades,serving in the worship team,ushering,a cell leader..But God, why do you seem soooo far away recently?? even more as its my birthday..you SHOULD be here with me,now..blessing me..BT den.. i think i havent spent quality time with you also.. God,things have been going rather unsteadily and uncertainly. I dont really know what im doing at any point of the day. But for today, the only things i ask for, is wisdome,knowledge,understanding, and a closer walk with You everyday.. I want you to be the centre beam,the rock,the ruler of my life. Thank you God for everything..and most of all for giving your Son to save me. yeah .. me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
what about grace?
As a few friends reminded me that my birthday was drawing near..*yes..i had to be reminded* Few things started sinking in...
For one..
How could i have lived all those 18 years..and actually surviving it.. at the rate this world is going... Seaching my mind 4 an answer was only in vain...Then He reminded me..it was all because of grace.
I wonder what would have happen to me.. let alone the world..if He hadnt been totally obedient to His Father's plan..
God, U gave your only son..to get Us back??
For one..
How could i have lived all those 18 years..and actually surviving it.. at the rate this world is going... Seaching my mind 4 an answer was only in vain...Then He reminded me..it was all because of grace.
I wonder what would have happen to me.. let alone the world..if He hadnt been totally obedient to His Father's plan..
God, U gave your only son..to get Us back??
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