a real quick quicky =)

Hi world,

you would have taught i vanished from the face of the blog world. but i was actually a silent observer. peeking into people's blog, sniffing out the happenings in peoples lives here and there.

truthfully, i've been going through tough emotional times. (seriously, the pix above is just to amuse myself). times when you felt so much that you never knew you could feel so much in your entire life. times when a part of you' is temporarily removed and flew 100s of miles away. i couldnt help but to just feel... well.. empty. (i never thought i would be saying this also so dont ;S me). well i'll summarize everything here, to be true to the title of this blog.

1. All glory, all Honour to God who has carried me throughout the past 3 years. Thank God for my degree results. Sticking the piece of paper with 'CGPA > 3.5' DID pay off!

the stressful time balancing everything else with the 'majesty' thesis has paid off. what? so vain to post up the results?? haha well what to say, Im vain at heart and I show it in moderation.


and results have granted me the basic access into applying for an MSC. here we go again God, I surrender the rest to You.

2. Ended a terrific time interning at Hewitt Associates. Thank you guys for the opportunity to be on this great team. Indeed was Alan said in one of his speeches was true "the fun lies in the people around you'. Work would be work, but the fun after that is priceless. Our K-sessions were priceless!! You have all left an impact on my life! Thank you Rach, Theng, ChenSilly, Zatie, Prav, Suba, Lek! You have indeed been the craziest consultants on this planet! Who would know you were consultants ?! :)


3. My sayang left for UK. Leaving me all alone... ALL ALONE in KL!!!!
.
.
.
.
....
Hahahaha yeah rite!
First part true, second part is a joke.

Yes, my sayang left to finish his final deg year in Portsmouth, UK. Yes i was darn sad, depressed, etc etc those depressing words. But thank God for Skype, we meet every night! (or afternoon at his place). So try not to call me at Malaysian time 10.30pm-12.00am. you can try but... i just MIGHT not pick up. :P and dont blame me. *too bad*

i miss him everyday. so much that i try not to get too obsessed. God help me! seriously!

He is alive and well! And is walking with God everyday! you see... God always deserves and gets the glory. Thats is the way to go folks!

4. I've started working in LB. But Im not gonna elaborate on this. hahaha for various reaosns. Just wanna say that God is good, and His mercies endure forever! I;'ve relied on God like NEVER BEFORE FOR EVERY SINGLE WORKING DAY here. like never before you know.. just imagine. Thoughts of leaving, thoughts of staying went though my mind. But let God's thoughts be my thoughts and i will follow just that. Things are better, picking up. im stabalizing and finding my footing. that is why i can even blog now.

OK quicky done. now off to some singing and chilling out with my buds. My long awaited mental break.

miss my sayang

miss my crazy friends

miss leehom



miss our crazy trips


miss holding Diana F+

miss God

Till the next quicky.... LOVE You with the LOVE of Christ!

the little email from the little one that brought me GREAT joy

after reading this e-mail.. i was speechless for a few moments, then a smile creeped up on my face.. this came from a 11 year old who i love very dearly, but havent had the chance to catch up with since i moved on from this ministry.

hey, what are you doing now, where are you now, are you working, nice seeing you at church 18.4.2010 see you at next week at church how is your work okey tats all i am going to say god bless you and your family bye bye

i saw him in church today.. at first we had a glimpse of each other from the gaps between many other people sittig between us. he saw me, i saw him, then we both rocked in front and smiled at each other.. i loved THAT VERY MOMENT. it touched me so much! and when i got home, i was so surprised that he emailed me the above.. My heart wells up with joy.. joy that i havent felt in a long time.

funny how the smallest things like this can bring such great and unspeakable joy at this point of time. its a sign.. its a sign.. that God is Emmanuel- He is with me, God is with US. and He never leaves us.

another chun experience in church today. 2 old songs touched the depths of my heart again. it was those songs that i grew up with, was those songs that i got to know God, what He felt for me and how much He loves me.

Above All-
"He took the fall, and thought of me, above all."
when He was hanging on the cross, dripping with blood, I am was on His mind.

Sing (I love You so)-
"It USED to be darkness without You.
I LIVED my life in blindness, but now I'm found

and I'll sing! Sing 'I love You so'!!
and I'll sing! becaus e the world can't take away Your love!

I'll give my life for You Lord, for all You've done"

Thank you Lord!
thank you that i AM no longer and WILL no longer be in darkness bcause of You gave yourself for me. there is NO MORE darkness to those that are found by Jesus. to continue to say we are in darkness and STAY in the darkness, and even sometimes ENJOY the darkness- is an insult to you and your death. There might me mountains and valleys, promised lands and desserts, but NO MORE DARKNESS! because in You there is no more darkness. You have made us to be light, as you are, PERMANENTLY and ETERNALLY. YOUR light has lighted up all the dark areas of my life. and therefore, i will no longer complain about darkness, because it is non-existent to me after i have You in my life. I will also not bow down and not be shaken by anyone who are children of light but complain that they are stuck in darkness and deliberately dont want to move. it is non sensical and illogical. i have deep compassion for them, will pray for them but will not give in to it. and i admire christians who have the purest and most childlike hearts. teach me to be like them Lord. I want to be like that little one who loves others unconditionally, yet not affected by the world. Because He is so safe and loved in your arms. I want to be safe, rested and unmovable in You arms =) Amen i call it forth!

As we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let us run! let us run! with perseverence the race set before us.

Go lower to go higher

these past few weeks have been extremely hard and challenging. on top of thesis deadline, assignments deadlines, looking for internship, studying for my final 3 papers of my entire deg program, things concerning the relational part of my life didnt get easier.. i won't elaborate coz its under the Blood of Jesus, but through all of this, i've learn 1 big big lesson: in order to go higher, you have to go lower. all because i have accepted the dream that takes a lifetime- leadership (j.Maxwell) and throughout the process of reading this amazing book, i did pray b4, that i want to experience and be conscious of everything i am reading. God heard me, and brought many parts of the book to life.

Maxwell summarizes it here:
1. it's not the dream of a lifetime; it's the dream that takes a lifetime.
2. it takes time to grow as a leader.
3. it takes trials to grow as a leader.
4. it takes God's help to grow as a leader.

...so... hehehe
at the moment, i do feel defeated, sad, frustrated, impatient, feel that i havent done enough, feel helpless and empty. But not without hope, faith and love ;) Thank God, there is still faith, hope and love. Faith that God knows best and works all things out for good; Hope that all things will INDEED work out for and according to God's purpose; and love, for the way God loves me and how i want to love people around me the way He does. No, i've not given up; and i sure hope i will never. But i'm just pausing for a moment, to see whats happening and asking God how to get through this. my presence of mind will be back soon ;)

Dear God,
If my heart has grown cold, there You love will unfold, as You open my eyes to the work of your hands. When Im blind to my way, there Your spirit will pray, as You open my eyes to the work of Your hands. Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like You have loved me! Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom's cause as i walk from earth into eternity. Help me to become a better leader, Lord. Reveal the dream You have for my life. PLace i in my heart, and re-kindle my passion for it! While You help me to grow, teach me to embrace the whole development process. Give me patience when i need it and passion when it's appropriate. Teach me to look beyond my life and desires. And when I'm ready, show me the big picture as You did for Joseph!I love You Lord, and so i'll pass it on.

i miss God.. i miss ps prince's voice on mp3~ haha

just for keepsake..
to remind myself of what are my priorities, essentials, and things that matter the most.. dont want to be like the person in the bible who looked at himself in the mirror who turned away and immediately forgot what he saw..

thank you Ps Prince for today's devotional, and reminding me of who JEsus is- King and Lord over the storm =)

Matthew 14:27
27But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”
Are you going through a dark, difficult moment in your life? Perhaps the storm just rages on with no let-up and you are trembling in fear. You feel that any time now, you may just cave in and go under because you cannot beat this storm.

Be comforted that Jesus sees what you are going through and He always comes to where you are in your darkest hour. He did that for His disciples one stormy night on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus came, walking on the stormy waters, walking on top of the problem that was threatening to overwhelm them. He is indeed the King and Lord over the storms!

When your eyes are on Christ, even though the storms are raging and the winds are blowing, you will know that you are above your troubles and circumstances. When people ask you how you are doing under the circumstances, tell them, “I am not under the circumstances. I am on top of them because my God is above all!”

Don’t be fearful. He will come to you walking on the stormy waters. Hear His comforting voice telling you, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

And as you behold Jesus, you become like Him. You will find yourself doing things you did not know you could do. You will, like Peter, walk on water. This happens when you are occupied with the person of Jesus, with His resources, love, wisdom, ability, power and majesty.

My friend, even during the times when you take your eyes off Jesus, He never takes His eyes off you. And when you cry out to Him, He will immediately stretch out His hand to catch hold of you. You will not go under.

There may be times that you are not able to find your way back. Jesus will then hold your hand and walk you back to the boat. And like Peter, you will realize that with your hand in His, the storm will come to a standstill!

Look what I found in our dear Mraz's blog.. =_=

just a random post.. as i let off some highly dreaded steam from my head. Life's tough, but I have an Almighty God ;) that should make things easier and funnier.. hahaha

here's something that made me go =_=''' at 9.38am this morning..


Just Mraz being himself.. only human... (oh yes we areeeeee... Only Human);)

About weddings..

i stumbled across a lovely wedding video of local-taiwanese artist Fish Leong and Tony Chao who were married early this year..

after watching this video, especially the part where the husband declares his own vows while at the brink of breaking down, it gives me a sense of hope and expectation of spending an honorable life together as 2 wholes before God. I like what one of the best men said to the camera "No return NO exhange!" ahahah i don't expect my own wedding to be super dreamy or high end. just something that will be beautifully memorable to me =)

enjoy..

Fish Leong and Tony Chao from Mayad Studios on Vimeo.

He always lifts me.. this time to be an eagle!

This morning, after a slightly rough night, i had a weird awakening in my spirit or heart..or i dunno what, about rising up. and immediately thought of an eagle. and as i did a simply search on it, guess what i found? =)

Leadership- eagles have characteristics of a great leader:

1) Vision - Just like the eagle, all leaders must have vision. The eagle's eyes can see great distances. They can also directly into the sun without being blinded.

2) Eagles Never Eat Dead Meat - You will never see an eagle eating meat that it did not kill. An eagle is not a scavenger. It hunts for and kills its own food. It hunts for the prey while it's warm and alive. You as a leader must go where the action is.

3) Looks For & Flies Into Storms - As storms approach, lesser birds head for cover, but the might eagle spreads its wings and with a great cry mounts upon the powerful updrafts, soaring to heights of glory. Eagles use the storm to lift him to these great heights. Leaders use storms (challenges); we don't run from them. To leaders, storms are tools used for their development.

4) Very Gentle & Attentive To Their Young - The eagle is known for its ferocity, yet no member of the bird family is more gently and attentive to its young. At just the right time, the mother eagle begins to teach her eaglets how to fly. She gathers an eaglet onto her back, and spreading her wings, flies high. Suddenly she swoops out from under the eaglet and as it falls, it gradually learns what its wings are for until the mother catches it once again on her wings. The process is repeated. If the young is slow to learn or cowardly, she returns him to the nest, and begins to tear it apart, until there is nothing left for the eaglet to cling to. Then she nudges him off the cliff.

You might have heard the argument about whether great leaders are born or made. The fact is great leaders are born but great leaders are also made.

I admit that I am not a born leader. But im definately being made into one by God. I also admit that its hard and tiring! Totally not what i would naturally want to do. I mean, i can lead when i want to. But when it comes to things that i don't naturally want to care about, hmmm... I might chose to just let it slack =P having the "not my problem anyway, why should i care so much.." kind of attitude. but as i let God's glory shine on those dark areas (bo pien i always go to where the glory shines- church lor), it definately drives out all these 'shadows' in my life, and God has changed me to be more like Him, to have His heart, which is a heart that cares and loves unconditionally. So.. i basically have no choice but to change, when i get exposed to the "SON" (sun) and so here I am.. blogging about this, because I care, and want to make a difference in lives.

This is yet another time where God has spoken so clearly to me.. so inspiring! Indeed, as the homepage image of my blog says "I Will Exalt the One Who LIFTED me!" He always lifts me!! and this verse was not chosen by accident.

Dear Father God,

Reveal to me my true level of influence on others. Show me my weaknesses so that i may submit them to You for Your grace. Strengthen me so that i can serve You better through leadership, and increase my influence with others. Teach me to be a salt and light to others, not to benefit myself, but to add value to others. And above all, empower me to place my family first when it comes to leadership. Let me influence begin with a modeling of a faithful life. The more the devil says i'm mediocre or a failure, the more im gonna rise up, blog, talk, care, and train others to be Your leaders. In you mighty name I pray and thank you for everything! Amen.

No matter how many times, and how many creative ways i will fall and fail, God still is and will forever be- My righteousness and holiness, The Lifter of my head!

I want many things too..

I realized that i seldom blog about what I like. My wishlist on the right side column of my blog is severely outdated!

So since I'm so stuck and sienz of doing my thesis now.. i shall talk about good things, and maybe the inspirations will come later! hehe
My most updated wishlist:

1. Diana F+ Lomo camera deluxe kit
2. > 3.5 CGPA with a High Second Upper (down graded version of 1stClass Hons)
3. My little Bob Dog pencil case to come back! iv been keeping you for 15 freaking years for goodness sake!
4. new pencil case (till my bob dog gets back =_=)
5. to succesfully get in Hewitt Assc and work at my dream employer (for the moment)
6. Master deg. Everything i need is at Jesus' feet :)
7. Go back to Cambodia for 3 months within the next 3 years
8. get married within 3 years
9. a pair of size 3 Converses that can fit my micro feet.
10. 20 working adults and 20 college students in my cg
11. Aviator sunglasses.. just broke my SGD 10 - 1+ years old black rimmed ones, dont want to be loaning one forever~
12. my girls and boys to live life to the fullest and to their fullest potential
13. a peaceful life

my hope is on this:
And God is able to make all things abound towards me, that I, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work" 2 Cor 9:8

I will serve You while i'm waiting, i will worship when i'm waiting. My Father is a rich man, and i'm royalty, should have no prob getting it all =P

so far so good for now.. will see how many i get and cut off by the end of the year ya!! hehehe syok sendiri!

I Will Exalt You =)

The Lion in me =)

People say I'm born in the "year of the tiger". But what they don;t know is that The Lion lives in me! Try and beat that!

1 Peter 5:8
8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

The devil cannot just walk right up to you and rob you of your health, peace or family. He cannot just come into your life to enforce disease and destruction.

If the devil can do that, then he does not have to walk about “seeking whom he may devour”. He only has to walk straight up to anyone he wants to devour and devour him! But since the Bible says that he goes about seeking whom he may devour, the truth then is that there are people whom he cannot devour.

You see, the devil goes about like a roaring lion trying to stir up fear in people with his roars. But the people who are not devourable are those who refuse to be intimidated by his roars because they know that the true Lion of Judah, Jesus Christ (Revelation 5:5), has already come and rendered powerless him who had the power of death. (Hebrews 2:14, NASB) They know that the devil cannot just do anything to them because the Lion of Judah resides in them, and that He is greater than the devil who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

My friend, the Lion of Judah is in you. He has given you rights, privileges, authority and power. He redeemed you with His blood. Therefore, everything about you and your life is redeemed by His blood. So if you are fearful about losing your job, cover your job with the blood of Jesus. If you are worried about your children’s safety in these days of terrorist attacks, plead the blood of Jesus over them. If you have received a bad report from the doctor, speak the blood over yourself.

Whatever you have covered with the blood of Jesus, God declares, “Protected! Redeemed!” And the devil flees when he sees the blood. And when he flees, he takes with him sicknesses, diseases, pains, sufferings, destruction and loss.

Once the devil knows that you know who you are in Christ and what you have in Him, his days of intimidating you are over, and you are numbered among the undevourable!

2010... i can smell the things coming!!

i actually tried to upload some photos that were the highlights of my 2009 and in rememberance of this wonderfully perculiar year. but somehow the uploading failed after many tries, and i gave up. i also didnt really feel like blogging throughout the whole november and december, which ironically was my 2 months of holidays. who says, you are free during your holidays? HAHA

i know a lot of people blogged about their reflection on the past year, and their hopes and dreams for the new year. i was greatly encourage and proud of some people for being able to face and overcome their fears more boldly, some had their lives turned around by Jesus, some entering new phases of their lives, and some.. well.. are just thankful for being alive!

for me, honestly, i didnt really WANT to reflect in detail on 2009, because there were many things i didnt want to remember. doesn't sound like me right. i know. few things that happened were just too painful to look back on, what more to ponder upon. those things were just not worth my time, and memory. it does sound like im running away, and what happen to the Michi that was full of faith and hope?

So this year, i did something different. Yes, i do have my 2010 hopes and dreams prepared and talked it out with God. So i just PLUNGED into the new year. its very unlike what i have done before. I decided that i would go straight on. Being superthankful to God for His abundant love and grace upon my life, and looking forward to the things to come. i thank God for G who has been a great encouragement to me, by the way you live, and by your love for God and people.

Here, i want to announce and proclaim, that my 2010 is going to be superDifferent. I can smell my hopes and dreams coming to reality. I can smell God preparing something in the kitchen, behind the scenes. I can see it coz its behind the 'curtain', but i sure can smell the exhillarating aroma!!! I cant tell anyone yet, coz i dont know either.. But when the time comes, i know you all will be happy for me, and i ask for your encouragement and support =)

I will be finishing up my last papers in Uni by this April. Doing internship from May-June. Then after that, lies a mystery.... wooo... im lovin' it!!

Congrats to a few of my dear friens.. C&D, A&B, K&P... for making the decision of their lives! May God bless you all superabundantly with strength, grace, patience and love for each other. May you all grow to know and discover more of God's will for your lives TOGETHER!

To those that are still unattached, do purpose in your heart that this year will be a significant one to you. God is behind the scenes, preparing something for you. NEVER doubt that He loves you, and knows your heart. He KNOWS who you like =P and He KNOWS who likes you =P Pray for the correct TIMING and prepare yourselves. REST in Him, and God will take care of the rest.

God's grace has gone deep, as i let my heart be ransomed, be caught by Jesus. The Lover n Maker of my life.

"The is no one else for me, none but Jesus;
Crucified to set me free, now I live to bring You praise!
All my delilght is in You Lord,
All of my Hope, all of my Strength;
All my delight is in You Lord, forevermore!"

I love you Jesus