it happens when you sit down, do nothing but look into your Father's eyes. Your soul is quiet, but your heart is in deep conversation with Him. Discussing your about your latest crush, the child you met in the supermarket that laughed when you made faces at, how happy you are when you finally get that first new laptop that you've been waiting for. My Father listens..shakes His head and laughs. Then he continues listening, until i get tired and stop.
Then He laughs again, messes my hair and pulls me closer. For I know the thoughts thay I think toward you, He says, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.. and you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart.
Its wonderfully amazing, awesome and personal, how my Father is to me. This is a tiny fraction of my imagination of what it'll be like when we meet, with Him beside me.
Through these years of failing and falling, never once did God forget to rush to grab me, help me up, dust the dirt off me and walk again with me. One person put it this way "It doesnt say float near to God or drift near to Him. I had to make a choice to get up and go and praise.
Looking back at these 19 months that i thought of as "the valley", turned out to me something phenomenal. Something happened when i worshiped God at that darkest hour. The light of His love broke through that darkness,overcame it, and lifted me. The lights went on. I thank you Holy Spirit for reminding me that my only response should be and always will be - to praise, no matter how dark it gets.So many times, when i was crazily floundering around, making every mistake imaginable, His tender and precious mercies, His scarred hands pulled me through. David wrote in Psm34 "I will bless the Lord at ALL TIMES, His praise shall cantinually be in my mouth..my soul, my walking,my talking, laughing, singing..makes its boast in the Lord. The humble shall hear of it and be glad...They looked to Him and were radiant,and their faces were not ashamed." Now i know no shame =)
I've learnt that life has its seasons, ups & downs, but the invitation is always there. Its always open arms, He always will go "Come, draw near to me." I remember in the parable of the Prodigal son. When he took his 'rightful treasures' and went away, his father didnt go after him. He didnt sent people to search for him or nag him come back, coz he knew that one fine day, this child of his would wake up realize he cant go on on his own and come back. The father never moved. My Father never moved.
God also gave me hope- a divine dream. An inner image that's bigger than me because its built on God's very own promise for my life.
When i learnt to give my heart to God daily, acknowledging Him as my Saviour, focusing on Him in every area of my life, i'm now able to walk in boldness and confidence of who God is, what He's done for me and who i am made in Him.
Here i know the power of forgiveness, Here...
I know the power of Your blood.
One thing i have desired of the Lord, that i will seek; that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
To behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple..
I will sing, yes, i will sing praises to the Lord. Your face Lord, I will seek." Psm 27