iv found a place > caught in open arms

My mondays are always fun, sunny, and almost never blue. But today didnt feel like my average monday. It was gloomy, blue, and not fun. tsk*need a tissue.

Its because the moment i woke up, i realized that its the last monday i will be working at BOCM.. a place where blessing, favour, and grace was poured out, overflowing my life. A place of promise, where God spoke so deeply and clearly about each of my next steps. I found Hope, a Vision and I learned to dream dreams with God. I have learned about getting up shamelessly, boldly and with integrity from every fall, and discovered the power of the strength God gave me to move on with Him. He taught me how to love deeply and selflessly. He revealed to me what i am capable of doing if i held on and never let go. He taugth me to forgive and made clear that it was also possible for me to forget, though the world says that "You're forgiven but not forgotten". I learned the art and the heart of worship and surrender. I discovered the meaning of intimacy and how it changed and turned around many values that i thought was right.




i discovered what was on God's heart. His children, are the center of His life. As i began to realize how much we occupy God's heart and how much He wants to do for us, it changed my striving into peace, my doubts into trust, my fear into bold obedience. It enabled me to enter His rest.


As for now, i overflow with blessings, favour, and joy. Although not terribly anticipating this change, but... deep down, i know that it'll bring out the best things in me. and i know that even in this change, He is with me.

we dont need wings to be Angels

aikkss im scratching like an icthy monkey...~~
right in the middle of watching the Da Vincci Code on telly, the power went of, leaving 4 enthusiastic eyes that were stuck on the TV now into total darkness... altogther we went " Aiyoooooo, apala??!!" hahaha with one voice, sounded pretty cool

then one by one, each left to their own stuff, leaving me, still, staring into space.. then i thought.. ohhh this wud be a good time to retreat to my 'secret place'..haha not so secret anyway

spent the nex hour reading blog, being encouraged and built up inspiring things written by inspring people who were inspired by an inspiring God...

i came across this picture the other day, when i was searching for a picture to explain to dawson how to make the blog header. Its called "Illuminate" and this was written below the pic

"We are here in this world to remember who we are, a path few dare to follow to its logical conclusion. This photograph, which was taken in the basement of an ancient castle near Rome, Italy, serves to remind us of our One purpose. When we transcend our limitations, let go of our past, face our fears, and live a life of unselfish love, the One Light has no choice but to fill our entire beings."

God I pray that I will be, that we will be a people that not just talk about this Light, but to talk, act and live with the Light in our lives. That wherever we go, we will be light walking torches, carriying Your light, puncturing every darkness that ever exists here on earth and in the dark places in the hearts on mankind. We want to be good hands and feet for You. =)

pink, white, cream, purple, red and orange flying balloons*** Blessed Beyond Measure

haha heres some pics of what i wore to my recent company dinner.. hehe so like it very much!

now i have 2 cheong sams, few sarees.. now need a kebaya! i bought the cloth for kebaya 4years ago.. but never got to get it sewn.. maybe next year~

hehe this got me to the top 10 best dressed on saturday night.. hahah

Talking about saturday night.. wHaT a nIGhT it was!!! although it not oni got me a sore back by standing and MC-ing the whole night..but also many many memories accumulated from the pass 18 months in BOCM.. all passed through my mind one by one, as i sat down at 11pm to eat my cold dinner. it was freaaaaking tiring.. but when i sat down, sipping my cold 'hot tong sui', i just looked around.. all the beautiful smiling faces.. all of whom i can proudly say that i know very well.. the next thing was.. mahnn.. im going to really really REALLY miss these ppl.. REALLY, and DEARLY.

This will be my last month in BOCM..then its off to UCSI. this period of time has been a nerrrve wrecking experience.. iv never been sooo nervous since.. taking my A-levels results 3 years ago.. heheh. and before leaving this wonderful place.. i was also blessed from my God above with a BIG SUM of prizes... * wont disclose it here*.. one of the most in the whole company. Then again.. my Father's on the 2nd floor is a cool and rich man.

Then about this outfit.. i just thought of having some fun and enjoying myself before embarking on yet another long journey. mana tau enter Best Dressed right? ahaha OUr theme for the night was mainly shades of red and purple. so my Saree has red, pink, pinkish-purple, purple and blue on it. it was love at first sight for that one.

Now on.. im counting down the days to my last day at BOCM... how time flies.. 18 days.. oh no..minus the sats and suns.. makes it.. 14 days!!!!!! WHAAAAAT!? aihh.. sooo sad...

who wants to bet that i will cry on my last day?

Jesus would have a goooood laugh. but HE made me this way =P

aihh one more sad case.. i forgot to take my camera to the dinner!!! ishhhhh ishhh

so the rest of the beautiful fotos are with my colleagues.. aihh take from them later.. haha

revolution According to Joel

This is an exerpt of an interview of Joel Houston. How he defines worship and how he how he gives God his worth-ship by loving God and people.

Joel:
My revelation of worship is outwards. If we're truly a worship band, I feel that we need to communicate both: we need to write songs that glorify God lyrically, but also write songs that glorify God in the way we live our lives.

People talk about this worship revolution that's occurred over the last ten years focusing only on worshiping God in song. Coming out of that season, I think the testimony is that we'll be judged by how the church lived as far as becoming the hands and feet of Jesus and helping those in need. That's a revelation that's been real strong for our church.
What we do in song is a reflection of where experiencing at home.

















On the I-Heart Revolution :

Joel:
The whole message is really about turning our back on individualism and not living self-focused lives. We're looking at how that's relevant to every context and every culture. How worship and justice relate to kids in South America, or how worship and justice relate to kids here in the United States. The movement aspect of it is putting together resources for local churches and young people to do things that are really simple, yet really big. In a nutshell, it's helping people that need to be helped—local focus, global impact.

I think it's the greatest challenge for our generation.

My revelation of worship is "Love God, love people." That's giving of yourself, being obedient, sacrifice. That is the very opposite of individualism, the opposite of getting caught up in yourself. The number one tool of the enemy is to create a church of Christians that is happy, complacent, and content. "Great service, I had a great time, I enjoyed the music." That's Christianity to a lot of people.
Everything in our culture is about the individual.

But if young people were to understand that our faith walk is a daily decision to make those sacrifices—if we understand it and we can live it, then the church would be what it was truly called to be.

http://www.theiheartrevolution.com/

Joel talks irony in his message on this webbie:

"I don't know about you.. but if our generation is remembered for ipods, myspace, and youtube we missed it.. if history speaks of our generation as self indulgent pioneers of the digital age, reality television and purpose built celebrity we'll have failed.. the world will change by itself.. for better or for worse.. it changes daily.. but who will be the ones to shape it.. and how will it look?

in and of itself revolution is neither good or bad.. revolution represents change.. a shift in culture.. History is marked by revolutions.. social and political.. some have represented victory, freedom and justice, however on the flip-side.. too many have become infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice.. all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.. for the church – the hands and feet of Jesus and His plan for the salvation of this big, broken sphere of dirt, water and life we temporarily call home, this has never sounded with more urgency..

it's time for a revolution.. fuelled by a dissatisfaction with self-centred living and complacent faith.. driven by a desire for truth, love and justice..that's what this is all about…

every generation needs a revolution.. and this one needs to look, sound, walk and breathe like love..

Love God.. love people.. that's it.. that's the revolution.. revolutionary I know.. but if we understand what that means.. if we get it.. if we establish in our thinking how that looks.. and we start living it.. we will change the world.. it's not so much about the big stuff.. it's just about the stuff.. it's about the people in the places being the answer - in the places.. and together; becoming the answer to the big stuff.. it's about your backyard.. it's about my backyard..

it's the fundamental call of what it means to be a follower of Christ.. "

to stop to think, and really wonder what if our only lifetime, starts and ends just here on earth. and after that, non-existence. what would i live for? what would i love and fight for?

a hard fact states that, many people do take this literally, and that's all they know. another hard fact is that this world is lead by many of these people. and in the very VERY near future, US. the ones with the ipods plugged in our ears, the latest Sony 5510i in our hands and laptops on our laps since we were born. how would these kind of walking and talking gadjets shape this world??

as mentioned above. we NEEED a Revolution. badly. History is marked by revolution. social..political.. all have brought out what people, communities and countries are today. and those that have lead to infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice, all it took is for evil to prosper and for good men to do nothing.

good men? so much for them. but look at ourselves. what do we consider ourselves? and what are the results of our action or inaction so far? as far as we have come? this is to consider.

deep down, i have made a commitment to be a part of this revolution. to be God's answer in my place for the people i can and touch. and make sure that it looks, sounds, walks and breathes like love. God's very own love.

i also consider myself a disciple. that means i have to look, sound, walk and breathe like one. sounds like an uphill crawl or upstream paddling? then, that's what grace is for. and THAT's whats so amazing about it. it not only pulls you through, it causes you to reach those heights you never ever dreamed of.

haha

the bible says that its enough for us and that our Father's strength would be made perfect in our weaknesses.

This very heart You have shaped for Your pleasure, purposed to life Your name high. I thank You dear, dear Lord.

My Answer is You

There's a world of difference when faith is in a heart
It stands out like sunlight
Life becomes so dark
And when those around me ask me why I dream
Or why I love or why I sing
My Answer is You My Answer is You
You're the hope that my heart keeps holding on to
Skeptics won't understand
It's strange from world's point of view
My Answer is You

They might find it incredible to believe what I can't see
They might think its foolish
Or even say its weak
I want to live life so differently because of faith
If it causes them to question, for me to say
My Answer is You
Its strange from the world's point of view
But my answer is plain and it's simple, Lord



I wish to hear You praying in the garden alone
Laying down Your will with each tear
To see You walk that lonely road
Willing to die for me

You're the reason I'm alive
For every good thing in my life

My Answer is You.

like cotton candy and having pure fun

hehe i learnt a new song today. from Hillsongs Saviour King.

The verses go like this:

Beholding Your beauty is all that I long for
To worship You Jesus is my sole desire
For this very heart You have shaped for Your pleasure
Purposed to lift Your name higher

Chorus:
Now unto the Lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honour and praise
All of creation resound with the song
Worship and praise Him, the Lord of lords..

This time round I have been watching many vcds and dvds on worship concerts. I observed the way the worship leaders lead the singing and worship. and ive learnt that, the way a person looks, the facial expression, body language, potrays very much what is going on in the inside parts. It reflects much on the heart of the worship leader. I remembered thinking "wow.. Joel Houston worships as if God was right in front of him. Darlene smiles at God and is just so relaxed and having a great time when she sings. Marty Sampson looks like he's singing a love song to his Father. Brooke Fraser's voice caused a breakthrough in my spirit." and i believe all this has happened, just because these people were having God right beside them and in them while they praised. They had to have a rock-solid relationship with the Holy Spirit to be able to cause such an upbuilding in the atmosphere. and influences you to praise.

Also realized that however a person looks like when sh/he worships in church, most likely will reflect his worship with the door closed and the heart opened to God.

I think that the depth of our worship and the closeness we have with God when we worship, together with to the degree our heart is open to God, this would naturally and definately reflect in our outward appearance. Inward adoration reflected in outward praise. Only what we have inside, will reflect outside.

God, let us not forget the beauty of Your mercy and beauty of Your grace, and what You had done so that we could be Your people. We will not be ashamed of You.

a quiet soul and a million words

it happens when you sit down, do nothing but look into your Father's eyes. Your soul is quiet, but your heart is in deep conversation with Him. Discussing your about your latest crush, the child you met in the supermarket that laughed when you made faces at, how happy you are when you finally get that first new laptop that you've been waiting for. My Father listens..shakes His head and laughs. Then he continues listening, until i get tired and stop.

Then He laughs again, messes my hair and pulls me closer. For I know the thoughts thay I think toward you, He says, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.. and you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart.





Its wonderfully amazing, awesome and personal, how my Father is to me. This is a tiny fraction of my imagination of what it'll be like when we meet, with Him beside me.

Through these years of failing and falling, never once did God forget to rush to grab me, help me up, dust the dirt off me and walk again with me. One person put it this way "It doesnt say float near to God or drift near to Him. I had to make a choice to get up and go and praise.

Looking back at these 19 months that i thought of as "the valley", turned out to me something phenomenal. Something happened when i worshiped God at that darkest hour. The light of His love broke through that darkness,overcame it, and lifted me. The lights went on. I thank you Holy Spirit for reminding me that my only response should be and always will be - to praise, no matter how dark it gets.So many times, when i was crazily floundering around, making every mistake imaginable, His tender and precious mercies, His scarred hands pulled me through. David wrote in Psm34 "I will bless the Lord at ALL TIMES, His praise shall cantinually be in my mouth..my soul, my walking,my talking, laughing, singing..makes its boast in the Lord. The humble shall hear of it and be glad...They looked to Him and were radiant,and their faces were not ashamed." Now i know no shame =)

I've learnt that life has its seasons, ups & downs, but the invitation is always there. Its always open arms, He always will go "Come, draw near to me." I remember in the parable of the Prodigal son. When he took his 'rightful treasures' and went away, his father didnt go after him. He didnt sent people to search for him or nag him come back, coz he knew that one fine day, this child of his would wake up realize he cant go on on his own and come back. The father never moved. My Father never moved.

God also gave me hope- a divine dream. An inner image that's bigger than me because its built on God's very own promise for my life.

When i learnt to give my heart to God daily, acknowledging Him as my Saviour, focusing on Him in every area of my life, i'm now able to walk in boldness and confidence of who God is, what He's done for me and who i am made in Him.

Here i know the power of forgiveness, Here...
I know the power of Your blood.

One thing i have desired of the Lord, that i will seek; that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
To behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple..
I will sing, yes, i will sing praises to the Lord. Your face Lord, I will seek." Psm 27