Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
we were once more than we are now
Why does a woman long to be beautiful? Why does a man hope to be found brave? Because we remember, if only faintly, that we were once more than we are now. The reason you doubt there could be a glory to your life is because that glory has been the object of a long and brutal war.
(Waking the Dead, 13-14) by John Eldridge
whaaat a walk and whaaat a week it has been. i guess the saying "you never really know what you've got till you loose it" is rather true.. hahah funny la.. i feel that im contradicting myself =P
i better quote what i wanna say..
Quote John Eldridge again:
Just as we have lost our wonder at the world around us, we have forgotten what a treasure he human heart is. All of the hapiness we have ever known and all of the hapiness we hope to find is unreachable without a heart. You could not live or love or laug or cry had God not given you a heart.
aisehh i thought i got it back.. but i think i lost it somewhere sometime.. geramnyerr
(Waking the Dead, 13-14) by John Eldridge
whaaat a walk and whaaat a week it has been. i guess the saying "you never really know what you've got till you loose it" is rather true.. hahah funny la.. i feel that im contradicting myself =P
i better quote what i wanna say..
Quote John Eldridge again:
Just as we have lost our wonder at the world around us, we have forgotten what a treasure he human heart is. All of the hapiness we have ever known and all of the hapiness we hope to find is unreachable without a heart. You could not live or love or laug or cry had God not given you a heart.
aisehh i thought i got it back.. but i think i lost it somewhere sometime.. geramnyerr
Saturday, January 19, 2008
good, deep, faithful memories
for a few weeks i felt like a donut.. round and with a hole in the middle. The truth about First Love.. and loosing it
The waves of first love ebbed away in the whirlwind of Christian service and activity, and we began to lose the Romance. Our faith began to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life promised us by Christ. We moved our spiritual life into the outer world of activity, and internally we drifted.
We sensed that something was wrong, and we perhaps tried to fix it—by tinkering with our outer life. We tried the latest spiritual fad, or a new church, or simply redoubled our commitment to make faith work. Still, we found ourselves weary, jaded, or simply bored. Others of us immersed ourselves in busyness without really asking where all the activity was headed. At one point in my own spiritual pilgrimage, I stopped to ask myself this question: “What is it that I am supposed to be doing to live the spiritual life in any way that is both truthful and passionately alive?”
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
in the end,its still about the heart
In the end, it doesn’t matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished—a life without heart is not worth living.
For out of this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. Our faith, hope, and love issue from this fount, as well. Because it is in our heart that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love.
So you can see that to lose heart is to lose everything. And a “loss of heart” best describes most men and women in our day. It isn’t just the addictions and affairs and depression and heartaches, though, God knows, there are enough of these to cause even the best of us to lose heart. But there is the busyness, the drivenness, the fact that most of us are living merely to survive. Beneath it we feel restless, weary, and vulnerable.
Indeed, the many forces driving modern life have not only assaulted the life of our heart, they have also dismantled the heart’s habitat—that geography of mystery and transcendence we knew so well as children. All of us have had that experience at one time or another, whether it be as we walked away from our teachers, our parents, a church service, or sexual intimacy; the sense that something important, perhaps the only thing important, had been explained away or tarnished and lost to us forever.
Sometimes little by little, sometimes in large chunks, life has appropriated the terrain meant to sustain and nourish the wilder life of the heart, forcing it to retreat as an endangered species into smaller, more secluded, and often darker geographies for its survival . As this has happened, something has been lost, something vital.
(The Sacred Romance, 3-5)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
chun fotos
some fotos taken on Prakash's then new apple 'dunno how many inches screen' monitor.. now we know what he does when he's bored in the office.. He's the Mr. Macho Man with the super Macho hands bigger than his head in the 1st pic.. was all taken last sem.. and stilll making me laff +P
hah! found it
The Bible sees the heart as the source of all creativity, courage, and conviction. It is the source of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love.
It can be steadfast, true, upright, stout, valiant.
It can be steadfast, true, upright, stout, valiant.
It can also be frightened, faint, cowardly, melt like wax.
But, it also can be wandering, forgetful, dull, stubborn, proud, hardened.
It is the “wellspring of life” within us (Prov. 4:23), the very essence of our existence, the center of our being, the fount of our life.
There is no escaping the centrality of the heart. God knows that; it’s why he made it the central theme of the Bible, just as he placed the physical heart in the center of the human body.
and, YES!
i found it.back.
few days ago, i was almost quite lost. and as the passages says that the heart does grow 'dull', 'wandering', 'stubborn', and 'hardened'. but it is also the 'very essence of our existence'. this way, it can be assumed that: if our hearts are wandering and far away, then at those moments, we were not fully present in our lives. Wherever we are, with whomever we may be with, our bodies are there buy 'we'- the essence, were not there.creepy? but thats true.
after sometime drawing back closer to Jesus, i got my heart back. Jesus said that i am human and that it was ok. He was the right person i went to.
now i have my VALIANT heart back! wooohooo im here now. im back! and it feels gooood!
p.s. pics below are frm Jon's bday on 1Jan at MdmKwans.. some weird but memorable photos..
Saturday, January 05, 2008
something's missing
hah! i knew it! these few days opening up the new year has been nothing but weird. weird in the sense that i feel totally lost in transition or something.. something is missing but i just couldnt figure out what. im currently in the kind of sesat mode, where i have no idea if its someting wrong with me, or the things around me. most probably is me. i was not well the pass 3days and down with flu, fever, headache, body ache- the common combo.
now i'm suddenly awake at 4am, turning around, cant sleep. grabbed my computer and decided to check my email. and unsurprizingly, there it is. the daily e-mail from Ransomed Heart.com.
for today 4/1/08 the title is A Passionate Voice Within. here goes..
Some years into our spiritual journey, after the waves of anticipation that mark the beginning of any pilgrimage have begun to ebb into life’s middle years of service and busyness, a voice speaks to us in the midst of all we are doing. There is something missing in all of this, it suggests. There is something more.
The voice often comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of morning, when our hearts are most unedited and vulnerable. At first, we mistake the source of this voice and assume it is just our imagination. We fluff up our pillow, roll over, and go back to sleep. Days, weeks, even months go by and the voice speaks to us again: Aren’t you thirsty? Listen to your heart. There is something missing.
We listen and we are aware of . . . a sigh. And under the sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within; it feels reckless, wild.
We tell ourselves that this small, passionate voice is an intruder who has gained entry because we have not been diligent enough in practicing our religion. Our pastor seems to agree with this assessment and exhorts us from the pulpit to be more faithful. We try to silence the voice with outward activity, redoubling our efforts at Christian service. We join a small group and read a book on establishing a more effective prayer life. We train to be part of a church evangelism team. We tell ourselves that the malaise of spirit we feel even as we step up our religious activity is a sign of spiritual immaturity, and we scold our heart for its lack of fervor.
Sometime later, the voice in our heart dares to speak to us again, more insistently this time. Listen to me—there is something missing in all this. You long to be in a love affair, an adventure. You were made for something more. You know it.
- The Sacred Romance, ransomedheart.com
i think its the most ma fan thing, when it is the issue of the heart. We scold our heart for its lack of passion, for not being good enough and not measuring up to the standards that are set. Iv accomplished many things, yet I feel lousy about myself now. i wonder: how come others look like they're are measuring up, and doing so effortlessly? serving God has been joyful this pass Christmas season. Even while working through the night, minor conflicts with people groups and all, it was still joyful. After all this, a voice deep down comes and outrightly tells you, "Listen to me, there is something missing in all this. You were made for something more, you know it!"
yes ok. i know it. but what is it? what is that 'something more'?
all the answers to all these Qs are in the bible. now, this is the time i think i need to go into fasting and prayer. learn to see things from God's perspective. Worship is all about Him.
Yes God, i am thirsty. I'm listening now, and yes, there is something missing indeed.
now i'm suddenly awake at 4am, turning around, cant sleep. grabbed my computer and decided to check my email. and unsurprizingly, there it is. the daily e-mail from Ransomed Heart.com.
for today 4/1/08 the title is A Passionate Voice Within. here goes..
Some years into our spiritual journey, after the waves of anticipation that mark the beginning of any pilgrimage have begun to ebb into life’s middle years of service and busyness, a voice speaks to us in the midst of all we are doing. There is something missing in all of this, it suggests. There is something more.
The voice often comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of morning, when our hearts are most unedited and vulnerable. At first, we mistake the source of this voice and assume it is just our imagination. We fluff up our pillow, roll over, and go back to sleep. Days, weeks, even months go by and the voice speaks to us again: Aren’t you thirsty? Listen to your heart. There is something missing.
We listen and we are aware of . . . a sigh. And under the sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within; it feels reckless, wild.
We tell ourselves that this small, passionate voice is an intruder who has gained entry because we have not been diligent enough in practicing our religion. Our pastor seems to agree with this assessment and exhorts us from the pulpit to be more faithful. We try to silence the voice with outward activity, redoubling our efforts at Christian service. We join a small group and read a book on establishing a more effective prayer life. We train to be part of a church evangelism team. We tell ourselves that the malaise of spirit we feel even as we step up our religious activity is a sign of spiritual immaturity, and we scold our heart for its lack of fervor.
Sometime later, the voice in our heart dares to speak to us again, more insistently this time. Listen to me—there is something missing in all this. You long to be in a love affair, an adventure. You were made for something more. You know it.
- The Sacred Romance, ransomedheart.com
i think its the most ma fan thing, when it is the issue of the heart. We scold our heart for its lack of passion, for not being good enough and not measuring up to the standards that are set. Iv accomplished many things, yet I feel lousy about myself now. i wonder: how come others look like they're are measuring up, and doing so effortlessly? serving God has been joyful this pass Christmas season. Even while working through the night, minor conflicts with people groups and all, it was still joyful. After all this, a voice deep down comes and outrightly tells you, "Listen to me, there is something missing in all this. You were made for something more, you know it!"
yes ok. i know it. but what is it? what is that 'something more'?
all the answers to all these Qs are in the bible. now, this is the time i think i need to go into fasting and prayer. learn to see things from God's perspective. Worship is all about Him.
Yes God, i am thirsty. I'm listening now, and yes, there is something missing indeed.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
You are strength & hope like NO OTHER
ups and downs, and ups again...then when you're starting to enjoy the ups, things go down again.. guess this cycle will never really end..
but the great thing about this life is...no number of ups and downs can actually pull you down. THINGS mite, but I wont. coz im standing on a rock solid foundation-bought by and fully paid for by flesh and blood. A little too much to pay for my ups and downs? i think so too
apparently, not only my ups and downs are paid for. My escape from hell, and VIP pass to enter the gates of heaven, having my name written on the ever so famous Book Of Life was paid by the blood of this Life. Its the life of my most dearly beloved Creator. Unto the Lamb Who sits on the throne, be glory and honour and praise! His love..so great..so deep..so strong. its this love that moved Him down from His throne, to be n a stinky, dirty, fly-infested barn. There.. he breathe His first breath in a human body. Born to die..for my ups and downs. Just so that He could take me home to heaven. He died, just to be able to take me home? He had to, because there was no other way.
Hope which was lost among mankind, now stands renewed.
as the end of this 2007 is nearing, so is the beginning of a spectacular 2008. and many other years to come. In Him, i face every tomorrow gracefully, beautifully, faithfully, and fearlessly. To show and tell the world that GOD be THE SOLUTION to everything they are looking for.
I thank my God, my Creator, my best friend, the lover of my soul, my Father, for salvation. For the priceless blood that He poured out for me. I give my life to honour this. The love of Christ, the Saviour King.
I also commit this blog, all the posts that have been written way back since 2004, and for the many posts and testimonies to come. I give this to God, that this blog will honour You.
but the great thing about this life is...no number of ups and downs can actually pull you down. THINGS mite, but I wont. coz im standing on a rock solid foundation-bought by and fully paid for by flesh and blood. A little too much to pay for my ups and downs? i think so too
apparently, not only my ups and downs are paid for. My escape from hell, and VIP pass to enter the gates of heaven, having my name written on the ever so famous Book Of Life was paid by the blood of this Life. Its the life of my most dearly beloved Creator. Unto the Lamb Who sits on the throne, be glory and honour and praise! His love..so great..so deep..so strong. its this love that moved Him down from His throne, to be n a stinky, dirty, fly-infested barn. There.. he breathe His first breath in a human body. Born to die..for my ups and downs. Just so that He could take me home to heaven. He died, just to be able to take me home? He had to, because there was no other way.
Hope which was lost among mankind, now stands renewed.
as the end of this 2007 is nearing, so is the beginning of a spectacular 2008. and many other years to come. In Him, i face every tomorrow gracefully, beautifully, faithfully, and fearlessly. To show and tell the world that GOD be THE SOLUTION to everything they are looking for.
I thank my God, my Creator, my best friend, the lover of my soul, my Father, for salvation. For the priceless blood that He poured out for me. I give my life to honour this. The love of Christ, the Saviour King.
I also commit this blog, all the posts that have been written way back since 2004, and for the many posts and testimonies to come. I give this to God, that this blog will honour You.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Counter Strike of the ransomed heart
Having a doctrine pass before the mind is not what the Bible means by knowing the truth.
It’s only when it reaches down deep into the heart that the truth begins to set us free, just as a key must penetrate a lock to turn it, or as rainfall must saturate the earth down to the roots in order for your garden to grow. - ransomedheart.com
Today, the truth that i knew set me free. for a split second.... i nearrrrly got caught u know. Thank God for His still, small, yet very firm voice. I gave a different reaction that usual, turned around and laughed at the devil.. Gotcha! muahahah
It’s only when it reaches down deep into the heart that the truth begins to set us free, just as a key must penetrate a lock to turn it, or as rainfall must saturate the earth down to the roots in order for your garden to grow. - ransomedheart.com
Today, the truth that i knew set me free. for a split second.... i nearrrrly got caught u know. Thank God for His still, small, yet very firm voice. I gave a different reaction that usual, turned around and laughed at the devil.. Gotcha! muahahah
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Jesus the Cloud Maker
past few days have been filled with rough clouds.. really thick, sticky, slimy, yucky....rough ones!!!!
but like the old saying goes..
"Every cloud has a silver lining" its that lining that pulled me through..
in that lining.. there where things, places, people, events, little moments that have brought GREAT joy to my life.. while still stuck in the cloud. God's power was clearly controlling and sustaining everything single part of it.
Thank You Father, that You are my God, and I am Your heir and dearly loved child.
but like the old saying goes..
"Every cloud has a silver lining" its that lining that pulled me through..
in that lining.. there where things, places, people, events, little moments that have brought GREAT joy to my life.. while still stuck in the cloud. God's power was clearly controlling and sustaining everything single part of it.
Thank You Father, that You are my God, and I am Your heir and dearly loved child.
Monday, December 03, 2007
one day...my Prince will come..
at the moment, its that kind of feeling la..what to do? Im just back from watching Enchanted
it was sooooper funny, and ultra romantic!
suddenly all those childhood memories, came flooding and crashing back to me! i remember watching Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Beauty & the Beast, Anastasia, Rapunzel etc etc etc...round ofter round, at least 15times EACH!!
Sleeping Beauty was so pretty with her long wavy red hair, and her off-shoulder dress, she look even prettier asleep!
Snow White was such a sweet thing, one call and all the animals would rush to her aid.. she even looked beautiful when she fainted after biting the poison apple.. Cinderella look all the more beatiful even in her rags. All these were princesses, if not in the natural, but definately one at heart. All of them longed for their 'Prince' or 'Knight in shining armour' to rescue them out of dire danger, sweep them off their feet, then ride into the sunset.. ahh.. how romantic!
But not Enchanted.. the riding off into the set took place right at the beginning of the movie! Hilarious! Prince Edward was going to marry Giselle the next day after they met! wwwwhat? ahaha "Tomorrow we shall wed...." he said. Yeap, these are what fairy tales are made off.. This one has a twist to it! amazing!
I remember through out the movie, there was a very warm feeling in my heart..a very cosy, brings-back-old-memories, fuzzy kind of feeling.. a feeling of being in love.. hahah i remember feeling that as a kid, everytime i watched one of those cartoons. It was always a happy ending. Most of the time, i would be so happy it made me cry.. and to my surprise.. i was teary-eyed at the end of Enchanted as well!
goshhh i guess that part of me never really grew up.. i secretly hope it wont =P
ahhh.. it was such a great movie.. wanna watch again! ahahaha anyone wanna watch again??
Friday, November 30, 2007
side-tracked.. then back on it again
just got my new cbox..ahah it feels fun =P
so much to talk and say...but my eyes cant take it any longer.. see you on saturday hopefully
i wonder what happened that caused me to swerve a bit off track since tuesday.. i think a bit to much of McDreamy really isnt thaaat good for health. the same way too much McDonald's is bad for health too.. shall go slower the next round.
so much to talk and say...but my eyes cant take it any longer.. see you on saturday hopefully
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
long lonely drive home... in solitude with my Maker
i was wondering... since when i became so emo... emotional.. ahaha maybe its the songs.. maybe its the rain rain rain... maybe its because im on holiday, too free and nothing to do..
i wish Uni has started.. i miss college..i miss my friends.. i miss HECTIC LIFESTYLE... i miss being bz.. maybe this time God's getting me lonely, to be with Him. to look at Him. off to dinner
Monday, November 19, 2007
the hebrew word Hosanna
7 They brought the colt to Jesus and put their coats on it; and He sat on it.
8 And many spread their coats on the road, and others spread leafy branches which they had cut from the fields.
9 Those who went in front and those who followed were shouting:"Hosanna! (E)BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD;
10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David;Hosanna (F)in the highest!"
(Mark 11: 7-10)
Brooke Fraser was talking about how the Holy Spirit led her in writing the song Hosanna in the most recent Hillsong- Saviour King album. Hymns relate very much to her.. Shes continued saying that the core of the song is that the scene where when Jesus entered the village on a donkey, and the people laying down the palm leaves and coats before him. The song talks about- "Hosanna" the "eternal cry of praise" which were shouted and sung by the people who went before Jesus, (ie. the prophets of old, the many people whom God had revealed His plan of sending the Messiah, the One that would be sent to save Israel and the world), even the generation of people before us AND the people who followed after who are the generations to come.. These all will praise the name of Jesus.
This is the whole song:
I see the King of Glory
Coming down in clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sins
The people sing, the people sing
Chorus:
Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest!
Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest!
I see a generation
Rising up to take their their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
Many song writers have been going about this same line in many songs.. prophets have prophesised about the rising of this generation, taking up their places as armies in the Kingdom of God, soldiers who stand with God in the battle field, taking back the people into the Lord's family, these.... are people who are of selfless faith.. These are the people who followed after Jesus in Mark 11:9.
Bridge:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything i am for Your Kingdom's cause
As i walk from earth into eternity
The bridge is very personal to me. As i asked God for revival in my cell group, for Him to do a great thing and move in the lives of my cell members, to teach them Himslef. I asked him to heal our hearts and make it clean before Him, to open up our eyes to the things of the Kingdom which we cannot see with our natural eyes, and show me how to love, like how He loved me.. and by this time. with tears streaming down.. ask Him to break our hearts, for everything wrong thing we did and horrible things that people do in this world that broke His. Giving my everything: time, money, petrol, family time, gifts and talents, strengths and weaknesses, everything i am for His Kingdom's cause...
It is a statement and a call- an eternal cry of praise that was sung by the generations years and years before us , and will continue to be sung by the rising generation till eternity.
This song has been speaking to me for months together. i was facinated by the significance of the meaning of the word "Hosanna" at first...Wikipedia states it as a Hebrew word meaning "Lord that saves" or "the Saviour God". God the Hero came to my rescue and saved me, from my sins.
8 And many spread their coats on the road, and others spread leafy branches which they had cut from the fields.
9 Those who went in front and those who followed were shouting:"Hosanna! (E)BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD;
10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David;Hosanna (F)in the highest!"
(Mark 11: 7-10)
Brooke Fraser was talking about how the Holy Spirit led her in writing the song Hosanna in the most recent Hillsong- Saviour King album. Hymns relate very much to her.. Shes continued saying that the core of the song is that the scene where when Jesus entered the village on a donkey, and the people laying down the palm leaves and coats before him. The song talks about- "Hosanna" the "eternal cry of praise" which were shouted and sung by the people who went before Jesus, (ie. the prophets of old, the many people whom God had revealed His plan of sending the Messiah, the One that would be sent to save Israel and the world), even the generation of people before us AND the people who followed after who are the generations to come.. These all will praise the name of Jesus.
This is the whole song:
I see the King of Glory
Coming down in clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sins
The people sing, the people sing
Chorus:
Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest!
Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the Highest!
I see a generation
Rising up to take their their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
Many song writers have been going about this same line in many songs.. prophets have prophesised about the rising of this generation, taking up their places as armies in the Kingdom of God, soldiers who stand with God in the battle field, taking back the people into the Lord's family, these.... are people who are of selfless faith.. These are the people who followed after Jesus in Mark 11:9.
Bridge:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything i am for Your Kingdom's cause
As i walk from earth into eternity
The bridge is very personal to me. As i asked God for revival in my cell group, for Him to do a great thing and move in the lives of my cell members, to teach them Himslef. I asked him to heal our hearts and make it clean before Him, to open up our eyes to the things of the Kingdom which we cannot see with our natural eyes, and show me how to love, like how He loved me.. and by this time. with tears streaming down.. ask Him to break our hearts, for everything wrong thing we did and horrible things that people do in this world that broke His. Giving my everything: time, money, petrol, family time, gifts and talents, strengths and weaknesses, everything i am for His Kingdom's cause...
It is a statement and a call- an eternal cry of praise that was sung by the generations years and years before us , and will continue to be sung by the rising generation till eternity.
This song has been speaking to me for months together. i was facinated by the significance of the meaning of the word "Hosanna" at first...Wikipedia states it as a Hebrew word meaning "Lord that saves" or "the Saviour God". God the Hero came to my rescue and saved me, from my sins.
Chorus: i got Saviour and He's living in me..Whoa! I wanna know, i wanna know You today!
this weekend has been a rather rough one.
oooops! i didnt see it roll down! faster took hand paper towels and cleaned it up.. and off to the back to make me sandwich..
for a certain period of time, i was bound and pressed spiritually on every side.. its nothing like i have felt before.. i was wondering, God, my walk with You hasnt failed, You seem quite near and and i can still hear from You quite well. But what's this sense of plunging emotional levels? Suddenly i couldnt think properly, no joy, cant understand pastor's message, and so tired after teaching the children.. that as soon as i rushed back home, i gave some weird excuse to turn down lunch, (altho i was really hungry, but no appetite to eat), and JUMPED into bed.. right before that i prayed: God, for some weird reason i dont feel right at all, i cant think right, i cant do anything right.. i think i need to shut down all my senses just for a little while, You come and repair me God, i need Your power to restore me.. urgently..! Amen. then, zzzzzzzzz
i woke up earlier than i had set my alarm for. i touched my forehead, then my eyes.. then i realized, i was FINE! i actually felt great! next thing i felt was...my stomach... growling in protest of being empty for so long.. haha i jumped up, headed for the kitchen to make my favourite cheese-egg ommelette wit bread..
i took the egg out, then turned back to the fridge to get the cheese when i heard this "crack..." then i turned and saw this:
oooops! i didnt see it roll down! faster took hand paper towels and cleaned it up.. and off to the back to make me sandwich..then on, i was really really fully of joy.. felt a breakthru in the spirit!
in Revival Service... God spoke every so clearly about the things that im going thru and things that iv been talking to Him about. His Spirit put into Mine many confirmations and breakthrus in many areas.. God was htting Bulls-eyes in my life. Multiple breakthrus! One ofter the other.. as i talked to Him again about the things i have been telling Him before, one thing after the other, He in turn began responding and hitting precisely at the EXACT points!!! one after the other!!! its as tho scoring 100%!!
need time to get me thought together... till the next post>> Adios Amigoes!
Friday, November 16, 2007
randoms...
every single day of my holiday so far has been very very productive..i had planned to work throughout these 2 months, but as a classmate reminded me that this kind of 'Verified' holidays might only come once in a lifetime! take ot or leave it~
yes. i took it. although technically there is not much cash input, but the Lord has blessed me thru many people, therefore allowing me to have a rather comfortable holiday, financially. This is a big bonus for me.. tEE Hee.. =P
it is indeed a long needed break. looking back. since the last day of my SPM years ago, iv never stopped for any breaks at all. got to work the very next day. after i resigned from BOCM, i ialso started Uni on the following monday. Rushed through a VV short semester with assignments and tests equavalent to a long sem, and here i am now. enjoying myself this holiday. what a great time it has been so far..
its so much fun, all the more because its the 'Year-End' season, where almost everyone is in the mood for holidays! ahaha me too! im so very relieved and enjoying and using every minute of this time to the fullest. at this point, im TOTALLY stress-free! free of the usual constant reminder ringing in my head "what do i have to study?", "do i have any pending assignments?", "what do i have to do next?", "what test do i need to study?"...
i actually do not have anything to study at all! Course Selection hasnt started yet. hehe this is sooo muchh funnn!
ahh yess.. CHRISTMAS PROJEKT...
im currently working on the foundational work of this projekt..
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remember: its COMING SOON.gif)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Lord, You have my heart; and I will search for Yours
guys, gals, whoever... u've GOT to read this.. it talks about the fuel of passion of God for us, He longs to be with us. This is the kind of relationship, worship and sonship (daughter-ship) we are born to have with our Father. Dear Father, let this encourage and draw so many others into an even closer to You, my God, my Love. Amen.
Taken from Iris Ministries website, by Rolland Baker http://www.irismin.org/news/36.php
We are often asked what the overcoming key to our ministry and growth is. We don't think in terms of keys or secrets, but in the simplest truths of the Gospel. We have learned by experience that there is no way forward when pressed to our extremities but to sacrifice ourselves at every turn for His sake, knowing nothing but Jesus and Him crucified. We must die to live. It is better to give than to receive, and better to love than to be loved. We cannot lose, because we have a perfect Savior who is able to finish what He began in us, if we do not give up and throw away our faith.
In years past we did not think we could identify with Paul like this, but now we understand more of what he meant: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" (2 Cor. 1:8-9).
Heidi and I get overwhelmed by our awareness that we are only jars of clay, very fragile and finite, capable of only giving out so much, and with very limited understanding and strength. But we have come to be encouraged by this very state of affairs, because God's power and glory will become obvious in our weakness: "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body" (2 Cor. 4:7-10).
In Pemba we just started another three-month Bible school session with new student pastors from the bush, many of whom are barely aware of any Christian doctrine and still confused about so much. But three of them have already raised the dead and given their testimonies in class! The Holy Spirit is opening hearts and bringing in the harvest more than ever, in spite of our weaknesses. Our churches are monuments to the grace of God. We are asked how we keep them all together, organized and feeling like a unified family, but we can offer no adequate human explanation, in spite of all our efforts. We have learned that He is able to melt hearts and keep people connected in spirit by His own power, and build a hunger for the Savior that conquers every obstacle. This is His revival, His church, His display of glory, and He qualifies us to do His work.
What motivates us to keep going? What puts energy into our spirits when we run out of answers and resources? How do we stay patient and upbeat when the outlook seems bleak, yet again? Where does our power to live, serve and give come from? The question is important, because missionaries do get tired, discouraged and down. Christians of all kinds run out of motivation, no matter how much they have. Leaders with huge responsibilities lose their peace and joy. Ministries become more like businesses, and preachers more like sales managers. But what makes the Kingdom run? What is the fuel that fires us effortlessly? What is the real thing?
Every day we find out more of the answers to these most fundamental questions, and every day we learn that what used to motivate us is no longer enough. We are going higher, pressing on to what lies ahead. We keep learning what Jesus is interested in, and lose interest in what we used to pursue. And we learn that unless Jesus is interested in what we are pursuing, the going gets tougher than we can bear.
But, ha, there is a secret place, a hiding place, a lower place, a holy place that exceeds our dreams. It is not found in anything external and impersonal. It is not found simply in activity, sacrifice and dedication. It is not found in goals, projects, productions and progress. It is not found in finances and growth. It may be missed entirely even when preaching, teaching, training and discipling. It may be forgotten completely when evangelizing and praying for the sick. The greatest and most powerful gifts don't necessarily contain it. Even ministry to the poor may become an impersonal effort that misses that greatest and most intensely motivating creation of God, that supreme display of His glory: relationship!
Love is a gift of relationship, not just self-sacrifice. The secret place is not necessarily found in a prayer closet or a posture of soaking, or in battling for a just cause, or in a massive prayer and fasting effort. Even the most amazing miracles can leave us lonely and without relationship. We can run out of motivation advancing the most noble ideals and working at all levels to transform society. We can minister until we have no more strength, and still go home and lie in bed without the relationship for which our hearts are made.
Everything is okay with relationship. It is all that Jesus cares about, all that motivates Him. He could do many more amazing miracles and dazzle the world with His powers, but He is interested only in relationship. The entire creation, all the grandeur of the physical world, and all His works are designed to serve one thing: relationship. Revival has no content without it. Renewal and manifestations are pointless apart from it. Miracles only find their meaning in it. Joy is shallow and groundless unless rooted in it. Without relationship we are the living dead.
There is no pressure in genuine relationship. When it turns into work, it is gone and finished. It is effortless to maintain. It is not the goal of struggle, but the fire of life. It brings the utmost peace, and washes away all tension. It is the point of living, the substance of existence, the atmosphere of heaven. It motivates to heroic heights, bringing out our best. In relationship we know we are alive, we have arrived, we are satisfied. When we turn away from relationship to pursue anything else, we lose. We have no strength to give and love without it. It is a haven, a rock, a river of living water, the perfect source of motivation to keep going.
As our Perfect Savior, Jesus provides us with relationship. For this He died and rose again on our behalf. He provides not only His Word, His promises and His gifts, but also freely fills our lives with relationship in response to the desire He has put in our hearts. No guilt and condemnation can keep us from drinking in all the relationship with Him that we desire. Nothing in our past can block us. No attitudes in others can prevent us from tasting and seeing that He is good. And from this tree of life that is our Savior, we can branch out into more and more relationship with those all around us. He takes away our loneliness. In Him we end our search and find our destination.
So in this experience of revival in Africa, our values have been refined in the fires of pressure, opposition and disappointment. Thousands of churches and testimonies of supernatural power do not keep us motivated. Huge feeding projects are not enough for us. We need more of a goal than to target people groups and disciple followers. Education and development don't keep our hearts alive. Mobilizing world-wide support still falls short. Academic missiology lacks the energy that Africa needs.
No, our hearts must have perfect relationship, a perfect union between us and our Savior, in the Holy Spirit. We were never meant to be alone for a moment. Our whole motive is to live life and do everything together with our God, to take pleasure in His company always. Our power to live comes entirely from our satisfying relationship with Him, and to stay there is to stay in our own private revival that cannot be disturbed by anything else. Only when that relationship is golden, incandescent and pure enough do we have the power to delight in all that God has richly provided for us to enjoy.
Therefore in Him we do not pursue revival, but rather revival pursues us! Church growth and miracles pursue us. His presence pursues us. He Himself follows us, responds to us, and takes pleasure in making us happy, for we make Him happy. We care how He feels. We satisfy His longing. To stay close to Him is no effort, but a relief, a release, a door to freedom. To get a miracle is never the point, but in our relationship with Him miracles are a delight for Him to perform on our behalf. In fact, we cannot live without miracles, and in the normal Christian life we recognize that everything is a miracle, "for in him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28).
Leprosy and AIDS are being healed by God in our churches in DRCongo. Our missionaries in Sudan are being caught up to heaven in visions while stationed in a most dangerous environment. Our Bible school students in South Africa are seeing waves of healing blow through a hospital when doctors and nurses are absent on strike. The dead continue to be raised, and the blind and deaf continue to see and hear, causing whole villages to come to Jesus at a time. The poor and abandoned are fed and taken into families. And yet we press on to the best yet in Him, in faith all the way, as always! There is a massive amount of suffering still in Africa, but we can deal with it only as our motivation is steady, sure and secure, located in the unbreakable bond between us and our God and Savior.
We love and thank all of you who join us and support us as you yourselves continue to drink along with us from this inexhaustible well of motivation. May His richness and and joy be yours beyond your wildest dreams as you comprehend more of His love for you each day. Continue to eat of Him and drink of Him to your heart's content until His will is done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Much, much love in Him, Rolland --
Taken from Iris Ministries website, by Rolland Baker http://www.irismin.org/news/36.php
We are often asked what the overcoming key to our ministry and growth is. We don't think in terms of keys or secrets, but in the simplest truths of the Gospel. We have learned by experience that there is no way forward when pressed to our extremities but to sacrifice ourselves at every turn for His sake, knowing nothing but Jesus and Him crucified. We must die to live. It is better to give than to receive, and better to love than to be loved. We cannot lose, because we have a perfect Savior who is able to finish what He began in us, if we do not give up and throw away our faith.
In years past we did not think we could identify with Paul like this, but now we understand more of what he meant: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" (2 Cor. 1:8-9).
Heidi and I get overwhelmed by our awareness that we are only jars of clay, very fragile and finite, capable of only giving out so much, and with very limited understanding and strength. But we have come to be encouraged by this very state of affairs, because God's power and glory will become obvious in our weakness: "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body" (2 Cor. 4:7-10).
In Pemba we just started another three-month Bible school session with new student pastors from the bush, many of whom are barely aware of any Christian doctrine and still confused about so much. But three of them have already raised the dead and given their testimonies in class! The Holy Spirit is opening hearts and bringing in the harvest more than ever, in spite of our weaknesses. Our churches are monuments to the grace of God. We are asked how we keep them all together, organized and feeling like a unified family, but we can offer no adequate human explanation, in spite of all our efforts. We have learned that He is able to melt hearts and keep people connected in spirit by His own power, and build a hunger for the Savior that conquers every obstacle. This is His revival, His church, His display of glory, and He qualifies us to do His work.
What motivates us to keep going? What puts energy into our spirits when we run out of answers and resources? How do we stay patient and upbeat when the outlook seems bleak, yet again? Where does our power to live, serve and give come from? The question is important, because missionaries do get tired, discouraged and down. Christians of all kinds run out of motivation, no matter how much they have. Leaders with huge responsibilities lose their peace and joy. Ministries become more like businesses, and preachers more like sales managers. But what makes the Kingdom run? What is the fuel that fires us effortlessly? What is the real thing?
Every day we find out more of the answers to these most fundamental questions, and every day we learn that what used to motivate us is no longer enough. We are going higher, pressing on to what lies ahead. We keep learning what Jesus is interested in, and lose interest in what we used to pursue. And we learn that unless Jesus is interested in what we are pursuing, the going gets tougher than we can bear.
But, ha, there is a secret place, a hiding place, a lower place, a holy place that exceeds our dreams. It is not found in anything external and impersonal. It is not found simply in activity, sacrifice and dedication. It is not found in goals, projects, productions and progress. It is not found in finances and growth. It may be missed entirely even when preaching, teaching, training and discipling. It may be forgotten completely when evangelizing and praying for the sick. The greatest and most powerful gifts don't necessarily contain it. Even ministry to the poor may become an impersonal effort that misses that greatest and most intensely motivating creation of God, that supreme display of His glory: relationship!
Love is a gift of relationship, not just self-sacrifice. The secret place is not necessarily found in a prayer closet or a posture of soaking, or in battling for a just cause, or in a massive prayer and fasting effort. Even the most amazing miracles can leave us lonely and without relationship. We can run out of motivation advancing the most noble ideals and working at all levels to transform society. We can minister until we have no more strength, and still go home and lie in bed without the relationship for which our hearts are made.
Everything is okay with relationship. It is all that Jesus cares about, all that motivates Him. He could do many more amazing miracles and dazzle the world with His powers, but He is interested only in relationship. The entire creation, all the grandeur of the physical world, and all His works are designed to serve one thing: relationship. Revival has no content without it. Renewal and manifestations are pointless apart from it. Miracles only find their meaning in it. Joy is shallow and groundless unless rooted in it. Without relationship we are the living dead.
There is no pressure in genuine relationship. When it turns into work, it is gone and finished. It is effortless to maintain. It is not the goal of struggle, but the fire of life. It brings the utmost peace, and washes away all tension. It is the point of living, the substance of existence, the atmosphere of heaven. It motivates to heroic heights, bringing out our best. In relationship we know we are alive, we have arrived, we are satisfied. When we turn away from relationship to pursue anything else, we lose. We have no strength to give and love without it. It is a haven, a rock, a river of living water, the perfect source of motivation to keep going.
As our Perfect Savior, Jesus provides us with relationship. For this He died and rose again on our behalf. He provides not only His Word, His promises and His gifts, but also freely fills our lives with relationship in response to the desire He has put in our hearts. No guilt and condemnation can keep us from drinking in all the relationship with Him that we desire. Nothing in our past can block us. No attitudes in others can prevent us from tasting and seeing that He is good. And from this tree of life that is our Savior, we can branch out into more and more relationship with those all around us. He takes away our loneliness. In Him we end our search and find our destination.
So in this experience of revival in Africa, our values have been refined in the fires of pressure, opposition and disappointment. Thousands of churches and testimonies of supernatural power do not keep us motivated. Huge feeding projects are not enough for us. We need more of a goal than to target people groups and disciple followers. Education and development don't keep our hearts alive. Mobilizing world-wide support still falls short. Academic missiology lacks the energy that Africa needs.
No, our hearts must have perfect relationship, a perfect union between us and our Savior, in the Holy Spirit. We were never meant to be alone for a moment. Our whole motive is to live life and do everything together with our God, to take pleasure in His company always. Our power to live comes entirely from our satisfying relationship with Him, and to stay there is to stay in our own private revival that cannot be disturbed by anything else. Only when that relationship is golden, incandescent and pure enough do we have the power to delight in all that God has richly provided for us to enjoy.
Therefore in Him we do not pursue revival, but rather revival pursues us! Church growth and miracles pursue us. His presence pursues us. He Himself follows us, responds to us, and takes pleasure in making us happy, for we make Him happy. We care how He feels. We satisfy His longing. To stay close to Him is no effort, but a relief, a release, a door to freedom. To get a miracle is never the point, but in our relationship with Him miracles are a delight for Him to perform on our behalf. In fact, we cannot live without miracles, and in the normal Christian life we recognize that everything is a miracle, "for in him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28).
Leprosy and AIDS are being healed by God in our churches in DRCongo. Our missionaries in Sudan are being caught up to heaven in visions while stationed in a most dangerous environment. Our Bible school students in South Africa are seeing waves of healing blow through a hospital when doctors and nurses are absent on strike. The dead continue to be raised, and the blind and deaf continue to see and hear, causing whole villages to come to Jesus at a time. The poor and abandoned are fed and taken into families. And yet we press on to the best yet in Him, in faith all the way, as always! There is a massive amount of suffering still in Africa, but we can deal with it only as our motivation is steady, sure and secure, located in the unbreakable bond between us and our God and Savior.
We love and thank all of you who join us and support us as you yourselves continue to drink along with us from this inexhaustible well of motivation. May His richness and and joy be yours beyond your wildest dreams as you comprehend more of His love for you each day. Continue to eat of Him and drink of Him to your heart's content until His will is done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Much, much love in Him, Rolland --
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
captivated in intimacy
yesterday i just had only of the most restful days in years.. woke up late, to take an over due library book to be returned back to Uni library. I actually got a 1st Reminder letter from Uni that was posted to my parent's home.. Yikes!! Get me a great big shocked and we had a great big laugh about it. Ofcoz not without getting fined, haha. =S
suppose to meet Moni in the afternoon but due to change of plans, i had a lovely dish of 叉烧鸭rice in Tmn Connaught. Then went to Tesco Ampang to get somethings for home. I think having Hypermarkets at the side of the highway is a BRILLIANT idea. It is the main factor causing me to choose to shop there.
Lazy KLites.. i didnt choose to be born here, but i guess God designed my "Get-it-done-as-quick-as-possible" and "Go-go-go" personality, chose the best place on earth for me. [i guessss>>> that God's second option woulde be Singapore.. i love the speed of walking of the people there (i fit in really well when i went there last year)]
On the way back, in setapak garden, i stopped by the road-side to get a bowl of Cendol made by the old Cendol man.. i really stopped just because of the pulut inside the cendol.. but it was SOLD OUT..AGAIN!! aiiyo uncle.. next time keep for me ok!! but the Cendol was still great without the pulut.. icy-cold santan, grean 'worms', and gula melaka... yummmm!
Reached home, and slept for the rest of the evening.. muuuahaha
A few things that i've been doing for the pass 1 month..
23-25 Nov: Final exams in Uni.. aihhh its a sad story.. i hope it doesnt pull down my overall marks too much.. i want all stars
25Nov after final paper: went to hair saloon outside Uni with Robin and Joan to get a cut and highlights (not highlited enufff!) it was a 'Happy Birthday to me' and 'Finals Are Over celebration'
27Nov: went with robin to 1U to get a dress.. stuck in jams all over town for a total of 4hours.. ohh my poor left leg.. rush to Bel's hse in sentul for D cell. fought with the guard for not letting me in.. at that point i was really so stressed and tired until feel like crying.. when reach Bel's door..my dear cell members didnt wanna let me in.. i really thought they were doing it on purpose u know... adoi PENGSAN! when they finally opened the door the lights were off, and somebody was carrying a bowl of rice with 3 candles stuck inside.. can you imagine what it looked like exactly..? you'd find it at the corner of a road.. offerings for 'Lost Souls'.. at that point i really didnt know what to say, think or do.
So happy and relieved. Then when i went to the toilet, they locked me in AGAIN! i was thinking "whaaat in thhhhhe world?!!?" i didnt even try to force open the door. when they opened it for me, again the lights were off and out came... a birthday cake.. spent the rest of the evening eating a great dinner prepared by my wonderfully talented cell members. Sfter that moni led us into worship and thankgiving to God for the Apostolic Programme and the pass year. As we broke into groups to pray and bless on another, i joined Luming and as we prayed i felt a very strong sense of bonding in my heart towards God and extremly thankful to Him for the amazing people He has out in my life.
Yes, especially people like Luming, Monica, ms.Catherine. Also people who i nv thought i would be so fren with..but now feel like im bonded to in the spirit, people like General Jacjac. In just a few minutes of prayer, all these people flashed across my mind, all i knew i should do was to wholeheartedly thank God for them, and ask God to bless them ever sooo richly in every aspect of their lives. i believe in my heart that God reveals to you the most important people in your life... i can have a thousand friends, but only a hand full of close friends. Praise God for them!
28 Oct: yea.. Happy Birthday to me..!! that day was extremly normal.. celebrated with Children's Cell children. Had a great lunch with my Uncle Joe, with Moni and meiling over as well.. wanted to treat them to some good mutton curry! had my FAVOURITE cheesecake!!! YOGURT CHEESE with rasberry toppings.. oohh sooo goood! and i wore my new girly dress.. was forced to actually.. haha.
evening, had a date with joanna and robin in leisure mall. suppose to go for movie "shoot em' up" but was late..actually technically we could have watched, but for some weird reason somehow they said that it was impossible..so we went shopping inside leisure mall. 1st stop! Salvation bookstore.. i grabbed the 1st book i saw! Supernatural Power of the Transformed Mind (someting i had been hunting for since August). But something in my heart told me that its not what i need to know or read for now. just not this one. so i decided to rely on the HS and see whats His opinion.
Thenn... then... my eyes swept to the next shelf and saw the book "Captivating" i tot.. isnt this the book either Luming or connie was toking about in cell the other day?.. immmediately my heart started to race.. yes..yES..YESS.. this is it. *GRAB* i also bot the Saviour King DVD.. also was hunting for it since the CD was out. then tried on a gown with joanna..for the sake of looking pretty, then put it back on the shelf and walk off.. ahah. my 1st time doing this.
then we started looking for food.they suggested Wong Kokbut i didnt really like the food there. Kimgary was better.. but dunno how i was persuaded in and took the stairs up to the 2nd floor. as i looked up, a whole stretch of people were seated & looking at me.. jason, bobby, justin, henry, jon, and xiao loong leslie.. aiyoo !! pengsan! it was a surprise dinner! i was speechless for about 2 minutes.. as i sat down they put a big box on the table wrapped with a lovely red ribbon. must be ms.Joanna's idea. they said to feel the box for something moving inside. that got me nervous! as i slooooowly opened it.. it was all crushed paper.. and...*trumpet sound* out came 3 big sesame stress friends: Elmo, Big Bird and Cookie Monster. yes guys, those are my 3 new friends at my car rear window.. with huge bulgy eyes and vibrant colours of red, yellow and blue. Thank you so much guys.. i was so so so so so touched! it was great enough having you all there with me.. btw, we had a complementary HUGE jar of 'Yin Yong'.. what a great experience.. will stay with me forever.
these are the most impactful days in october.. november happenings.. in the next blog>>
suppose to meet Moni in the afternoon but due to change of plans, i had a lovely dish of 叉烧鸭rice in Tmn Connaught. Then went to Tesco Ampang to get somethings for home. I think having Hypermarkets at the side of the highway is a BRILLIANT idea. It is the main factor causing me to choose to shop there.
Lazy KLites.. i didnt choose to be born here, but i guess God designed my "Get-it-done-as-quick-as-possible" and "Go-go-go" personality, chose the best place on earth for me. [i guessss>>> that God's second option woulde be Singapore.. i love the speed of walking of the people there (i fit in really well when i went there last year)]
On the way back, in setapak garden, i stopped by the road-side to get a bowl of Cendol made by the old Cendol man.. i really stopped just because of the pulut inside the cendol.. but it was SOLD OUT..AGAIN!! aiiyo uncle.. next time keep for me ok!! but the Cendol was still great without the pulut.. icy-cold santan, grean 'worms', and gula melaka... yummmm!
Reached home, and slept for the rest of the evening.. muuuahaha
A few things that i've been doing for the pass 1 month..
23-25 Nov: Final exams in Uni.. aihhh its a sad story.. i hope it doesnt pull down my overall marks too much.. i want all stars
25Nov after final paper: went to hair saloon outside Uni with Robin and Joan to get a cut and highlights (not highlited enufff!) it was a 'Happy Birthday to me' and 'Finals Are Over celebration'
27Nov: went with robin to 1U to get a dress.. stuck in jams all over town for a total of 4hours.. ohh my poor left leg.. rush to Bel's hse in sentul for D cell. fought with the guard for not letting me in.. at that point i was really so stressed and tired until feel like crying.. when reach Bel's door..my dear cell members didnt wanna let me in.. i really thought they were doing it on purpose u know... adoi PENGSAN! when they finally opened the door the lights were off, and somebody was carrying a bowl of rice with 3 candles stuck inside.. can you imagine what it looked like exactly..? you'd find it at the corner of a road.. offerings for 'Lost Souls'.. at that point i really didnt know what to say, think or do.
So happy and relieved. Then when i went to the toilet, they locked me in AGAIN! i was thinking "whaaat in thhhhhe world?!!?" i didnt even try to force open the door. when they opened it for me, again the lights were off and out came... a birthday cake.. spent the rest of the evening eating a great dinner prepared by my wonderfully talented cell members. Sfter that moni led us into worship and thankgiving to God for the Apostolic Programme and the pass year. As we broke into groups to pray and bless on another, i joined Luming and as we prayed i felt a very strong sense of bonding in my heart towards God and extremly thankful to Him for the amazing people He has out in my life.
Yes, especially people like Luming, Monica, ms.Catherine. Also people who i nv thought i would be so fren with..but now feel like im bonded to in the spirit, people like General Jacjac. In just a few minutes of prayer, all these people flashed across my mind, all i knew i should do was to wholeheartedly thank God for them, and ask God to bless them ever sooo richly in every aspect of their lives. i believe in my heart that God reveals to you the most important people in your life... i can have a thousand friends, but only a hand full of close friends. Praise God for them!
28 Oct: yea.. Happy Birthday to me..!! that day was extremly normal.. celebrated with Children's Cell children. Had a great lunch with my Uncle Joe, with Moni and meiling over as well.. wanted to treat them to some good mutton curry! had my FAVOURITE cheesecake!!! YOGURT CHEESE with rasberry toppings.. oohh sooo goood! and i wore my new girly dress.. was forced to actually.. haha.
evening, had a date with joanna and robin in leisure mall. suppose to go for movie "shoot em' up" but was late..actually technically we could have watched, but for some weird reason somehow they said that it was impossible..so we went shopping inside leisure mall. 1st stop! Salvation bookstore.. i grabbed the 1st book i saw! Supernatural Power of the Transformed Mind (someting i had been hunting for since August). But something in my heart told me that its not what i need to know or read for now. just not this one. so i decided to rely on the HS and see whats His opinion.
Thenn... then... my eyes swept to the next shelf and saw the book "Captivating" i tot.. isnt this the book either Luming or connie was toking about in cell the other day?.. immmediately my heart started to race.. yes..yES..YESS.. this is it. *GRAB* i also bot the Saviour King DVD.. also was hunting for it since the CD was out. then tried on a gown with joanna..for the sake of looking pretty, then put it back on the shelf and walk off.. ahah. my 1st time doing this.
then we started looking for food.they suggested Wong Kokbut i didnt really like the food there. Kimgary was better.. but dunno how i was persuaded in and took the stairs up to the 2nd floor. as i looked up, a whole stretch of people were seated & looking at me.. jason, bobby, justin, henry, jon, and xiao loong leslie.. aiyoo !! pengsan! it was a surprise dinner! i was speechless for about 2 minutes.. as i sat down they put a big box on the table wrapped with a lovely red ribbon. must be ms.Joanna's idea. they said to feel the box for something moving inside. that got me nervous! as i slooooowly opened it.. it was all crushed paper.. and...*trumpet sound* out came 3 big sesame stress friends: Elmo, Big Bird and Cookie Monster. yes guys, those are my 3 new friends at my car rear window.. with huge bulgy eyes and vibrant colours of red, yellow and blue. Thank you so much guys.. i was so so so so so touched! it was great enough having you all there with me.. btw, we had a complementary HUGE jar of 'Yin Yong'.. what a great experience.. will stay with me forever.
these are the most impactful days in october.. november happenings.. in the next blog>>
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