I was wondering..what in the world is wrong with me? Circumstances normally do not have an effect on the normal way i do things, the way i think, the way i react, or even the way i speak.This time, it was different.
My dearest tata passed away on sunday morning.To descibe the scene..i think..would be crazy..and agonising. I would just leave here some of my unspoken thoughts..just to get it out, because someone reminded me to let go.
aihh ..so fast.. too fast.. The glass of wate didnt reach him. i guess..there would be more than enough of that in heaven. Water..that is farr tastier and far purer than the world can offer.
He was a fighter.. a warrior for his family.He was a moderate man..but an extravagent spender. he could have been a rich man..if not for his lack of formal education, bad smoking habit, and drinking.
And im proud to say that..haha..i was his favourite grdchild. The first and the most loved. I did achieve some good stuff that made him extremly proud when i was little.He would boast about me and my good results to the neighbours..shopkeepers..restaurent owners, his friends, and family. China-kutti was the word the always called me.. being of chinese-indian parentage. i hated it!! just hated it!! i would corrent him..and remind him.."hey..can u not forget that i am half indian too..??, i am your grdchild..therefore..its tamila-kutti. OKEY? "
Those times when he used to take me on his bicycle early saturday morning to the chinese stall to have breakfast.. His favourite was wan-tan mee and curry mee.He would have his kopi-O pour unto a sauce for it to cool.i would always get a few RM to walk over to the next door mamak stall to get a copy of Galaxie magazine.
He would have things done fast and effectively. He left no room for lazyness, sluggishness, or time wasters. Thus, they had his funeral done in exactly 12hours after his spirit went back to God..
When at indian weddings..he never put up with the looong ceremonies.. and would opt to go get some briyani rice and curry at the buffet table..haha ..sometimes he would take me to a wedding..just to have some briyani rice.He was the kind that ; everything that happened to him was never a big issue..but if it affected the ones he loved..then he would never let it go unsolved. He would pick a fight with the shopkeeper for being late.. the old-newspaper man for being too slow..the bread-lady for coming too late at night.
His work was his passion. Uncle Joginder Singh told me that he would have been in a higher position from the beginning..if he could present a formal paper qualification. His boss was his friend. and he was his own boss. okay..i think i feel better now.
Its never a lost.. why should it be? went he went to the fathe's house so much earlier than us... What a privilege!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
In the beginning..
whats in a happy ending?
"and then they lived happily ever after"?
what about when its a no tear, no sad goodbyes, no see you next time, no 'take care of yourself', no 'all the best' in the future', no 'keep in touch', no 'love you ya'.. what do you make off a parting without these phrases?
just thinking of this is getting me emotional.. -sheeehh-
not that it bothers me..it just leaves me in awe..of how in each of our hearts..we all know and hope for the best for each other...the assurance that we will all be doing great things in the near future, and that if we would know, if someone is going thru a hard time.
it was one of the many things we did unplaned. after our last paper at 11.30am, we decided to go Genting. Spent some quality time talking, playing cards, sipping coffee in the wee hours at Starbucks playing cards again.. with the cold air in our faces. The last moments of being together as a group. I wonder when it would be again.
Just thanking God for these people who will remain special to me.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Benson
yes. Introducing a new member of the family. Here he lies under my chair, biting my big toe and turning over every once in a while calling for a stroke. We just brought him back from laikuen's house this evening (jason,me,meiling,and connie), after 3 long months of waiting in much anticipation.
After a few hours of watching him and observing his behavior, we(my family n I) notice that, he is a dead sleeper...(the guys pulled him right round d coffee table while he lay fast asleep.)~~, he is scared of the dark~~ hohoho... and has not ate anything since he arrived. Also since this evening, he had pee-d 4times and shat once. The rug we gave him to sleep on, he turned it into a teething rug (ring).. havent got my own foto of him yet..
Oh yes..Moni's section (moni, meiling,connie,zhiet shuang,EB, timo,belinda) and jason were at me house for a dinner..we dont actually celebrate deepavali (except my grddad), but being true malaysians, its a good reason to get together for a good meal( my grdma cook wan ok) and some great fellowship~~ alerady got orders for muruku from elaine who is back in taiping now.
This was a geat evening.
After a few hours of watching him and observing his behavior, we(my family n I) notice that, he is a dead sleeper...(the guys pulled him right round d coffee table while he lay fast asleep.)~~, he is scared of the dark~~ hohoho... and has not ate anything since he arrived. Also since this evening, he had pee-d 4times and shat once. The rug we gave him to sleep on, he turned it into a teething rug (ring).. havent got my own foto of him yet..
Oh yes..Moni's section (moni, meiling,connie,zhiet shuang,EB, timo,belinda) and jason were at me house for a dinner..we dont actually celebrate deepavali (except my grddad), but being true malaysians, its a good reason to get together for a good meal( my grdma cook wan ok) and some great fellowship~~ alerady got orders for muruku from elaine who is back in taiping now.
This was a geat evening.
YOU are amazing!
Indescribable. Uncontainable. YOU placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.. YOU are amazing God.
Incomparable. Unchangable YOU see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.. YOU are amazing God.
Lord,i thank you for all these beautiful people You have put in my life.Though we dont look like a bunch that is serious about life or any other thing..but search our hearts oh Lord,to see that it belongs to You,and none but You.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Happy Birthday to me...=)
i mean..happy belated birthday to me.. another year of fulfilled promises and excruciating trails have passed. and thee right before me , lies yet another year
to give thanks
to learn
to glorify Him
to seek wisdom
to share the Gospel and
to trust in Him
to become a better disciple
to be more obedient =P
and to walk closer to Him.
iv also leant that, miracles do happen even in our daily lives.during the times where you put your complete trust and reliance on Him and the expectation of seeing Him actually do His work in our lives. we really have no other purpose on earth at all. Except to win the world, and to glorify Him in all things. Yet at times we do intimidate the word "ALL" and sorta stray away frm its actually definition.
it was a great day of relaxation after a string of examinations. iv no papers next week.!~ Hallelujah
went to elaine's place for a joint birthday BBQ for me,Jen, and Kam. Was awesome. late rushed back to Alpha fo cell group and a time of prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord. Iv got the best birthday present: to see all 3 of my main contacts get saved and coming regularly for CG and church. All the credit go to God.
"in ALL THINGS give thanks...for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for me."
Thank You dear Lord.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Hellos and goodbyes
within the past 3 weeks..iv experienced the amount of hello and goodbyes to last me a year really. maybe two. The people that i know and loved have crossed my path..some stay for a while,make an impact, and go.. some will always be here and are impossible to leave...
obviously, saying goodbye is prolly one of the hardest things to do in life... especially to those that have brought u tremendous amount of joy,closeness, togetherness and the sense of belonging.
*i just met an uncle of mine whom i have never met in the entire 20years of my life. towards the end of the visit, i just cant explain the feeling of cloneness and that fact that we belong to the same family.*
im just so greatful of having such wonderful people in my life and pray that they too will come to the knowledge of God, so that i could have them with me not only on earth but i heaven as well.
obviously, saying goodbye is prolly one of the hardest things to do in life... especially to those that have brought u tremendous amount of joy,closeness, togetherness and the sense of belonging.
*i just met an uncle of mine whom i have never met in the entire 20years of my life. towards the end of the visit, i just cant explain the feeling of cloneness and that fact that we belong to the same family.*
im just so greatful of having such wonderful people in my life and pray that they too will come to the knowledge of God, so that i could have them with me not only on earth but i heaven as well.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Thank you God, for everything
wooohooo.. my last post ...21June.seems like ages ago..2day is the 14 august. i still cant believe, the things dat have happened within this mere 2months are equal to to stuff dat suppose to happen in 1/2 a year.. time flies... too fast... bt i think its my prob that i never really managed my time wisely, n use it to the max.
I have began to understand this verse even more duing this period of time. " God uses the good and the bad to work together for our benefit.". These 2 months was a spiritual & maybe physical desert for me. People always say that God may take away many things from you; things dat are most dearest to you, things dat you wouldnt let go for the world, things dat you thought was from God but actually wasnt, things that block your vision from seeing the really of things, things dat seem so good to have bt u wonder why God doesnt think so, even good things dat blur you from seeing the actual great thing dat God has in store for you.
Today, Ps Gloris had a msg from God in which she shared with us at the end of PC1. She said that she saw God peeling away the skin of sumthing, den scraping the dirty stuff of something.The final poduct left was now clean, out of spot, and in its purest form. There ae many things dat God needs to empty in ou lives in order to fill us more with His spirit. Today, God has taken away a relationship,my pride, exam results, my visitation time,and my ego. For a moment, i wondered whether it was the devil taking these good things away. But the msg confirmed that i was God and Him alone. He has dug deeper into d depths of my heart,and expanding the structure and capacity in my life for a bigger and greater work. i'll just leave this passage here as a reminder :
Matt 8:26
" He replied, You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"
The he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
People who havent chosen to follow God usually pray only when their circumstances get really bad.They seldom give God a second thought until the bottom falls out of their lives and then they hit their knees.
You're different.
You've made a choice to follow God.
For you to revert to panic prayers is like saying " i believe you'r a loving and kind God with my best interests at heart, but do you see what i'm going thru here?"
As a believer,you have the confidence in God unbelievers dont have.
Its this confidence that will carry you thru the breaking point and BEYOND.
Others hit that point and fall apart.
You wont.
You have faith.
Others may start looking to you when they loose their footing because you're always on solid ground.
You've prayed this before, but say it again."God, I'm Yours."
This time pray it with confidence in your voice and in your heart.
What ever life throws at you, you can handle itbecause you believe that one simpla statement.
"God, I'm Yours."
HAVE FAITH
BE CONFIDENT
STAND TALL
BELIEVE
thank You for everything dear Lord.
I have began to understand this verse even more duing this period of time. " God uses the good and the bad to work together for our benefit.". These 2 months was a spiritual & maybe physical desert for me. People always say that God may take away many things from you; things dat are most dearest to you, things dat you wouldnt let go for the world, things dat you thought was from God but actually wasnt, things that block your vision from seeing the really of things, things dat seem so good to have bt u wonder why God doesnt think so, even good things dat blur you from seeing the actual great thing dat God has in store for you.
Today, Ps Gloris had a msg from God in which she shared with us at the end of PC1. She said that she saw God peeling away the skin of sumthing, den scraping the dirty stuff of something.The final poduct left was now clean, out of spot, and in its purest form. There ae many things dat God needs to empty in ou lives in order to fill us more with His spirit. Today, God has taken away a relationship,my pride, exam results, my visitation time,and my ego. For a moment, i wondered whether it was the devil taking these good things away. But the msg confirmed that i was God and Him alone. He has dug deeper into d depths of my heart,and expanding the structure and capacity in my life for a bigger and greater work. i'll just leave this passage here as a reminder :
Matt 8:26
" He replied, You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"
The he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
People who havent chosen to follow God usually pray only when their circumstances get really bad.They seldom give God a second thought until the bottom falls out of their lives and then they hit their knees.
You're different.
You've made a choice to follow God.
For you to revert to panic prayers is like saying " i believe you'r a loving and kind God with my best interests at heart, but do you see what i'm going thru here?"
As a believer,you have the confidence in God unbelievers dont have.
Its this confidence that will carry you thru the breaking point and BEYOND.
Others hit that point and fall apart.
You wont.
You have faith.
Others may start looking to you when they loose their footing because you're always on solid ground.
You've prayed this before, but say it again."God, I'm Yours."
This time pray it with confidence in your voice and in your heart.
What ever life throws at you, you can handle itbecause you believe that one simpla statement.
"God, I'm Yours."
HAVE FAITH
BE CONFIDENT
STAND TALL
BELIEVE
thank You for everything dear Lord.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Defination : Perfect Heart
One day a young man was standing in
the middle
of the town proclaiming that he had the most
beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd
gathered and they all admired his heart for it was
perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes,
they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful
heart they had ever seen. The young man was
very proud and boasted more loudly about his
beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the
crowd and said, 'Why your heart is not nearly as
beautiful as mine.' The crowd and the young man
looked at the old man's heart. It was beating
strongly, but full of scars, it had places where
pieces had been removed and other pieces put in,
but they didn't fit quite right and there were
several jagged edges. In fact, in some places
there were deep gouges where whole pieces were
missing. The people stared -- how can he say his
heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and
saw its state and laughed. 'You must be joking,'
he said. 'Compare your heart with mine, mine is
perfect and yours is a mess of scars and
tears.' 'Yes,' said the old man, 'yours is perfect
looking but I would never trade with you. You see,
every scar represents a person to whom I have
given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and
give it to them, and often they give me a piece of
their heart which fits into the empty place in my
heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have
some rough edges, which I cherish, because they
remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away,
and the other person hasn't returned a piece of
his heart to me. These are the empty gouges --
giving love is taking a chance. Although these
gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me
of the love I have for these people too, and I hope
someday they may return and fill the space I have
waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?'
The young man stood silently with tears running
down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,
reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart,
and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old
man with trembling hands. The old man took his
offering, placed it in his heart and then took a
piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in
the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not
perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The
young man looked at his heart, not perfect
anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love
from the old man's heart flowed into his. They
embraced and walked away side by side.
the middle
of the town proclaiming that he had the most
beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd
gathered and they all admired his heart for it was
perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes,
they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful
heart they had ever seen. The young man was
very proud and boasted more loudly about his
beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the
crowd and said, 'Why your heart is not nearly as
beautiful as mine.' The crowd and the young man
looked at the old man's heart. It was beating
strongly, but full of scars, it had places where
pieces had been removed and other pieces put in,
but they didn't fit quite right and there were
several jagged edges. In fact, in some places
there were deep gouges where whole pieces were
missing. The people stared -- how can he say his
heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and
saw its state and laughed. 'You must be joking,'
he said. 'Compare your heart with mine, mine is
perfect and yours is a mess of scars and
tears.' 'Yes,' said the old man, 'yours is perfect
looking but I would never trade with you. You see,
every scar represents a person to whom I have
given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and
give it to them, and often they give me a piece of
their heart which fits into the empty place in my
heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have
some rough edges, which I cherish, because they
remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away,
and the other person hasn't returned a piece of
his heart to me. These are the empty gouges --
giving love is taking a chance. Although these
gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me
of the love I have for these people too, and I hope
someday they may return and fill the space I have
waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?'
The young man stood silently with tears running
down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,
reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart,
and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old
man with trembling hands. The old man took his
offering, placed it in his heart and then took a
piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in
the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not
perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The
young man looked at his heart, not perfect
anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love
from the old man's heart flowed into his. They
embraced and walked away side by side.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Here for a second, gone the next.
hmm came accross this column by NST journalist Kalimullah Hassan. Iv been enjoying his writing so far. But this column written on yesterday 5thJune05 was somewhat mesmerising, thought provoking, but also brings along a cloak of sadness.
K.Hassan wrote:
We hardly ever know what to say to the close ones of those who depart so suddenly. I scoured books and surfed the Internet trying to find out what people say on such occasions.
But there never seems to be the right thing to say because only time heals grief. I came across a letter on the Internet written by a young child who had lost someone she loved. She wrote:
Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have now?
We always find difficulty in accepting the inevitability of life. We have all gone through such personal tragedies in our own lives.
And unsurprisingly, someone always raises the question: "Why did I not do more? I could have made life happier (for the departed one)."
We all live with such regrets.
In an anonymous Internet posting titled If Tomorrow Never Comes, a tormented writer wrote:
If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray to God, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would videotape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you", instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, I would not think, "Well I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away."
For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be another day to say our "I love you’s", And certainly there’s another chance to say our "Anything I can do’s?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget that tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, and today may be the last chance we get to hold our loved one tight.
Why wait for tomorrow when you can do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day that you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear, Take time to say "I’m sorry", "Please forgive me", "Thank you" or "It’s okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.
As we grow older, and as we learn to accept that we will not live forever, we try to make the best of what we have.
But we keep learning new things and keep meeting extraordinary human beings who teach us that there are so many different perspectives to life.
A close friend of mine, a very generous and charitable human being, always says "it is more blessed to give".
He lives by what he preaches, trying to help people whenever he can.
But I never realised the depth of what he meant until he emailed me a story which I have always cherished. It is about a young man writing about a car given to his friend by his brother.
It is probably fictional but it tells us that we can always help make people happy and make ourselves happy. The story goes thus:
A friend of mine named Paul received a car from his brother as a present. One evening, when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he asked.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me as a present."
The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish..." He hesitated.
Of course, Paul thought he knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that.
But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that."
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment. Then impulsively he added, "Would you like a ride in my car?"
"Oh yes, I’d love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbours that he could ride home in a big car. But Paul was wrong again.
"Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while he came back, but he was not coming fast.
He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him and it didn’t cost him a cent.
"And some day I’m going to give you one just like it, then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the shop windows that I’ve been telling you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shiny-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable ride.
That evening, Paul learned what it meant when people say "It is more blessed to give..."
The lesson in all these is that we should not wait for tomorrow to do what we can today. There is never a "more right" time than the present to do the simple things that we can to make our lives and that of others happier.
Giving is a virtue that we could all easily adapt to.
It is not easy to be magnanimous all the time. Somehow, it has become the natural tendency for people, especially in the city, to be spiteful, selfish, self-centred, hurtful and malicious.
Altruism, philanthropy and humanity are getting to be rarer commodities in our world.
Back to me *michelle* again.
to anyone who reads this, if anyone is to worry about the amount of money needed to spent on getting a loved one a gift, taking em out to posh eat-outs, buying that Tiffany she always wanted, or getting the whole world for the person just to make them happy.. i bet there aint nothing wrong with that. But even a beggar could afford a smile, a hug, a kiss, to care, and to love.
"The greatest of ALL, is LOVE."
K.Hassan wrote:
We hardly ever know what to say to the close ones of those who depart so suddenly. I scoured books and surfed the Internet trying to find out what people say on such occasions.
But there never seems to be the right thing to say because only time heals grief. I came across a letter on the Internet written by a young child who had lost someone she loved. She wrote:
Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have now?
We always find difficulty in accepting the inevitability of life. We have all gone through such personal tragedies in our own lives.
And unsurprisingly, someone always raises the question: "Why did I not do more? I could have made life happier (for the departed one)."
We all live with such regrets.
In an anonymous Internet posting titled If Tomorrow Never Comes, a tormented writer wrote:
If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray to God, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would videotape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you", instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, I would not think, "Well I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away."
For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be another day to say our "I love you’s", And certainly there’s another chance to say our "Anything I can do’s?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget that tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, and today may be the last chance we get to hold our loved one tight.
Why wait for tomorrow when you can do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day that you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear, Take time to say "I’m sorry", "Please forgive me", "Thank you" or "It’s okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.
As we grow older, and as we learn to accept that we will not live forever, we try to make the best of what we have.
But we keep learning new things and keep meeting extraordinary human beings who teach us that there are so many different perspectives to life.
A close friend of mine, a very generous and charitable human being, always says "it is more blessed to give".
He lives by what he preaches, trying to help people whenever he can.
But I never realised the depth of what he meant until he emailed me a story which I have always cherished. It is about a young man writing about a car given to his friend by his brother.
It is probably fictional but it tells us that we can always help make people happy and make ourselves happy. The story goes thus:
A friend of mine named Paul received a car from his brother as a present. One evening, when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he asked.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me as a present."
The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish..." He hesitated.
Of course, Paul thought he knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that.
But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that."
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment. Then impulsively he added, "Would you like a ride in my car?"
"Oh yes, I’d love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbours that he could ride home in a big car. But Paul was wrong again.
"Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while he came back, but he was not coming fast.
He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him and it didn’t cost him a cent.
"And some day I’m going to give you one just like it, then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the shop windows that I’ve been telling you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shiny-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable ride.
That evening, Paul learned what it meant when people say "It is more blessed to give..."
The lesson in all these is that we should not wait for tomorrow to do what we can today. There is never a "more right" time than the present to do the simple things that we can to make our lives and that of others happier.
Giving is a virtue that we could all easily adapt to.
It is not easy to be magnanimous all the time. Somehow, it has become the natural tendency for people, especially in the city, to be spiteful, selfish, self-centred, hurtful and malicious.
Altruism, philanthropy and humanity are getting to be rarer commodities in our world.
Back to me *michelle* again.
to anyone who reads this, if anyone is to worry about the amount of money needed to spent on getting a loved one a gift, taking em out to posh eat-outs, buying that Tiffany she always wanted, or getting the whole world for the person just to make them happy.. i bet there aint nothing wrong with that. But even a beggar could afford a smile, a hug, a kiss, to care, and to love.
"The greatest of ALL, is LOVE."
Monday, May 23, 2005
Shane West
Eiiyerr when got something impulsive to write oni ahh..the system will suddenly become VV down wan ya no.. totally DOWN nehhh.. yuckzzz
Nvm..i shall type in in MsoftWord. Pastu ambil, copy , paste bile ni system jadi baik.
Was watching A Walk To Remember a few days ago. As usual, cried when I saw the poor Shane West cry. It was a very touching &heart warming story.Again, like something u feel would never happen to you in lifetimes. Still,who knows.
After reading a number of other people’s blogs, I wonder why some go on with stuff that are like…very down..like..always complaining about stuff, and how terrible life is. Well maybe it might not be the same for everyone, but, there still are many things to thank God for ..right? this movie inspired me to write about things I like. Things that would make me happy. It need not be expensive, but simple and nice. Something like the song ‘My favorite Things’ from The Sound Of Music.
Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with stings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eye lashes
Silver white winters that melt into spring
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and slay bell and snitchzel with noodle
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when im feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel…soo bad..
Ok… now… about MY favorite things.haha gonna be fun. Not anything rhymy la..
I like.. polka dots, hot chocolate, dark chocolate,
dancing ladies (aka golden showers),
Sunrises, sunsets, clean towels, smiling children,
my 7 best friends, cold nights, cat fights,
a warm hand to hold, BIG BEAR HUGS, flying kisses,
lame jokes, soft curly hair, curry mee,
cheesecake, coffee, quotes by successful people,
romantic movies, jazz, 50s, 60s music, stage plays,
jazz bands, car rides, whispers, slow dances,
grooves, smiles, sleepy faces, short haircuts,
long walks, biology, people who are fleshy,
diversity, relationships, clean cuts…so on and so forth.
(ohh that reminds me, my fav actors.. happen to be those who sport short cleancuts and The nominees are : Jude Law, Hayden Christianson, Even Mcgregor, Denzel Washington, EdisonChen, Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Shane West and Adam Brody.) haha my ohh my.. what in the world am I blogging about.
Tu la.. if given a chance of doing whatever I want.. once in a while.
This here is a picture of Shane West. The guy that played Landon in A walk to Remember.and with much better acting skill if compared to Mandy Moore. Then again, why compare?
Nvm..i shall type in in MsoftWord. Pastu ambil, copy , paste bile ni system jadi baik.
Was watching A Walk To Remember a few days ago. As usual, cried when I saw the poor Shane West cry. It was a very touching &heart warming story.Again, like something u feel would never happen to you in lifetimes. Still,who knows.
After reading a number of other people’s blogs, I wonder why some go on with stuff that are like…very down..like..always complaining about stuff, and how terrible life is. Well maybe it might not be the same for everyone, but, there still are many things to thank God for ..right? this movie inspired me to write about things I like. Things that would make me happy. It need not be expensive, but simple and nice. Something like the song ‘My favorite Things’ from The Sound Of Music.
Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with stings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eye lashes
Silver white winters that melt into spring
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and slay bell and snitchzel with noodle
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when im feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel…soo bad..
Ok… now… about MY favorite things.haha gonna be fun. Not anything rhymy la..
I like.. polka dots, hot chocolate, dark chocolate,
dancing ladies (aka golden showers),
Sunrises, sunsets, clean towels, smiling children,
my 7 best friends, cold nights, cat fights,
a warm hand to hold, BIG BEAR HUGS, flying kisses,
lame jokes, soft curly hair, curry mee,
cheesecake, coffee, quotes by successful people,
romantic movies, jazz, 50s, 60s music, stage plays,
jazz bands, car rides, whispers, slow dances,
grooves, smiles, sleepy faces, short haircuts,
long walks, biology, people who are fleshy,
diversity, relationships, clean cuts…so on and so forth.
(ohh that reminds me, my fav actors.. happen to be those who sport short cleancuts and The nominees are : Jude Law, Hayden Christianson, Even Mcgregor, Denzel Washington, EdisonChen, Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Shane West and Adam Brody.) haha my ohh my.. what in the world am I blogging about.
Tu la.. if given a chance of doing whatever I want.. once in a while.
This here is a picture of Shane West. The guy that played Landon in A walk to Remember.and with much better acting skill if compared to Mandy Moore. Then again, why compare?
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Tentang Dia
these pass few weeks, iv been longing to go to the cinema. Not so much for Kingdom Of Heaven, Star Wars3, or any other movie that i would have wanted to watch. But since no one i knew actually liked or mentioned about wanting to watch this movie,(and the only darling that did wasnt off yet) i thought that 4 the sake of my despeation, i'd just go by myself.so there i was lining up at TGV klcc full of enthusiasm, despite me doing this all alone which is is something i have never done before, buying my ticket for the movie i literally craved to watch.
From the maker of the teen-love movie "Ada apa dengan Cinta?"
a movie about friendship, kinship, relationship,faith, hope,& love,-
Tentang Dia.
Here in this pic, the gal named Gadis. in the movie,the boyfiend that she loved very much betrayed her by making out or literally slept with her best friend. Ever since,she became very very bitter, in anguish, and began to withdraw from her fiends and family and her guy classmate Randu, who was a very popula boy in school who liked her very much. Gadis would write about her feeling to "TUHAN" on her laptop.
One day when she was driving home, sad and all,in a beautiful blue metallic Honda jazz , she accidently hit another gal on the road, a gal named Rudi who was a tomboy but loved to write song lyrics. Rudi was heavily bruised on the arm but nothing too serious.Gadis offered to clean up the wound and sent udi to he workplace. Things go on. Rudi and Gadis became VV good friends.Rudi helped Gadis re-open up to the world again. And there was Randu who also frequently visited Rudi's workplace, a road-side restaurant and hung out thee till they closed the place,often leaving untouched food. Rudi figured that Randu too was going thru a tough pace in life, and often gave him one-liners of encouragement.
Rudi was sick for a long time, down with TB i think as she often coughed out blood. Gadis did not know. Rudi cared very much about Gadis, so much that it soon lead to Gadis thinking that Rudi was a lesbian because of what Rudi often said: "i will not let anyone hurt you anymore." Gadis felt disgusted and walked away. Rudi went after her to explain.When both were at opposite sides of the road, Rudi confessed who she actually was and that she lost her younger sister who was killed by her father at a very young age, and that she only loved Gadis as a younger sister. But bacause of the heavy traffic in between them, Gadis could not hear Rudi too clearly. Rudi was very sad of what Gadis thought of her.
On her way home from work, it began to rain heavily. Rudi walked home in the rain.While she stop to open her lyrics book, she saw the photos that she and Gadis had taken together. When blown by the strong wind,one of it flew onto the road, Rudi went to pick it up, she was hit but an oncoming car, and, died.
Co-incidently Gadis on-ed the tv to the news channel the next morning. to her shock, it was broadcasting an accident that happened the night before. It was the death if Rudi. Randu too happened to be wathcing the news and got to know of Rudi's death.
Gadis was broken, having lost everyone she really cared about. He Ex, her best friend, now..Rudi. One night Randu was calling for Gadis outside her house in a pouring rain. he told her that he would never bothe her ever again if only she said that she does not like him. Gadis in return poured out eveything that was in her heart to Randu. Randu said that he promised neve to leave her. Then they both got together lohhh..
Gadis caried a box full of paper planes which she had always been making everyday when she was down up to a rooftop of a very high building. The place Rudi took her in one of their outings, a place where she thought about thingsand hung out. Their place. she emptied the box of paper planes.
It was a wonderful movie. Not as substancial as Sepet but, touching. Coz it talkes about reality. Those stories were the real things which happened to real people in real life.It also talks about having hope to face tomorrow despite what happened today.
The actors on the other hand, did it all with real emotion. Audiences would know it. Coz when you do, it shows!!
i would love to watch movies, stories told by people of their lives. about events and happenings that have made an impact on their lives. Movies that captivate me are those that would make me say, "yea, at this time this is how i felt." that would make me think "what i did to overcome those stuff", how it felt liking a person and not being liked back. or how painful and excruciating it felt when someone you truly loved diead in YOUR arms. How to be loved, and loved back. Those feelings that could not be out into words, but could immediately be identified by actions,expressions, simple gestures, and tones of you voice. i like it when actors arent to much aware of the camera, and talking as if they have succesfully momorised the script by heart, word-for-word.
Ng Choo Seong in sepet did it like Jason was HIM. the real HIM. and His friend ah Keong was also the same person in real life. They were extreamly spontaneous. It makes me think what actually dives people to the cinema to watch movies like Cinta Fotocopi, Gila-Gila pengantin etc local movies who used the 'already famous peopel to make movies. The only thing they succed in doing is increasing the actor/singers popularity, PLUS the filmmakers actually get to SELL their movie. Why then do you think they always come up with already well-known people, to draw the blur(eyes only can see 'STARS')crowd to watch their sometimes exaggeratingly BIG budget movies?? What ARE they tying to sell?? hey, dont get me wrong but if the actors can ACT ir make the viewers feel something, that is good. really good. some malay drama actors ae good, like Rosyam Nor, Jallaludin Hassan. i for one still cant get it. Someone plz tell me. You just know when u walked out of the cinema, that you have watched something worth your money.
hehehe since when did i become a movie critic? whateverrrr...
From the maker of the teen-love movie "Ada apa dengan Cinta?"
a movie about friendship, kinship, relationship,faith, hope,& love,-
Tentang Dia.
Here in this pic, the gal named Gadis. in the movie,the boyfiend that she loved very much betrayed her by making out or literally slept with her best friend. Ever since,she became very very bitter, in anguish, and began to withdraw from her fiends and family and her guy classmate Randu, who was a very popula boy in school who liked her very much. Gadis would write about her feeling to "TUHAN" on her laptop.
One day when she was driving home, sad and all,in a beautiful blue metallic Honda jazz , she accidently hit another gal on the road, a gal named Rudi who was a tomboy but loved to write song lyrics. Rudi was heavily bruised on the arm but nothing too serious.Gadis offered to clean up the wound and sent udi to he workplace. Things go on. Rudi and Gadis became VV good friends.Rudi helped Gadis re-open up to the world again. And there was Randu who also frequently visited Rudi's workplace, a road-side restaurant and hung out thee till they closed the place,often leaving untouched food. Rudi figured that Randu too was going thru a tough pace in life, and often gave him one-liners of encouragement.
Rudi was sick for a long time, down with TB i think as she often coughed out blood. Gadis did not know. Rudi cared very much about Gadis, so much that it soon lead to Gadis thinking that Rudi was a lesbian because of what Rudi often said: "i will not let anyone hurt you anymore." Gadis felt disgusted and walked away. Rudi went after her to explain.When both were at opposite sides of the road, Rudi confessed who she actually was and that she lost her younger sister who was killed by her father at a very young age, and that she only loved Gadis as a younger sister. But bacause of the heavy traffic in between them, Gadis could not hear Rudi too clearly. Rudi was very sad of what Gadis thought of her.
On her way home from work, it began to rain heavily. Rudi walked home in the rain.While she stop to open her lyrics book, she saw the photos that she and Gadis had taken together. When blown by the strong wind,one of it flew onto the road, Rudi went to pick it up, she was hit but an oncoming car, and, died.
Co-incidently Gadis on-ed the tv to the news channel the next morning. to her shock, it was broadcasting an accident that happened the night before. It was the death if Rudi. Randu too happened to be wathcing the news and got to know of Rudi's death.
Gadis was broken, having lost everyone she really cared about. He Ex, her best friend, now..Rudi. One night Randu was calling for Gadis outside her house in a pouring rain. he told her that he would never bothe her ever again if only she said that she does not like him. Gadis in return poured out eveything that was in her heart to Randu. Randu said that he promised neve to leave her. Then they both got together lohhh..
Gadis caried a box full of paper planes which she had always been making everyday when she was down up to a rooftop of a very high building. The place Rudi took her in one of their outings, a place where she thought about thingsand hung out. Their place. she emptied the box of paper planes.
It was a wonderful movie. Not as substancial as Sepet but, touching. Coz it talkes about reality. Those stories were the real things which happened to real people in real life.It also talks about having hope to face tomorrow despite what happened today.
The actors on the other hand, did it all with real emotion. Audiences would know it. Coz when you do, it shows!!
i would love to watch movies, stories told by people of their lives. about events and happenings that have made an impact on their lives. Movies that captivate me are those that would make me say, "yea, at this time this is how i felt." that would make me think "what i did to overcome those stuff", how it felt liking a person and not being liked back. or how painful and excruciating it felt when someone you truly loved diead in YOUR arms. How to be loved, and loved back. Those feelings that could not be out into words, but could immediately be identified by actions,expressions, simple gestures, and tones of you voice. i like it when actors arent to much aware of the camera, and talking as if they have succesfully momorised the script by heart, word-for-word.
Ng Choo Seong in sepet did it like Jason was HIM. the real HIM. and His friend ah Keong was also the same person in real life. They were extreamly spontaneous. It makes me think what actually dives people to the cinema to watch movies like Cinta Fotocopi, Gila-Gila pengantin etc local movies who used the 'already famous peopel to make movies. The only thing they succed in doing is increasing the actor/singers popularity, PLUS the filmmakers actually get to SELL their movie. Why then do you think they always come up with already well-known people, to draw the blur(eyes only can see 'STARS')crowd to watch their sometimes exaggeratingly BIG budget movies?? What ARE they tying to sell?? hey, dont get me wrong but if the actors can ACT ir make the viewers feel something, that is good. really good. some malay drama actors ae good, like Rosyam Nor, Jallaludin Hassan. i for one still cant get it. Someone plz tell me. You just know when u walked out of the cinema, that you have watched something worth your money.
hehehe since when did i become a movie critic? whateverrrr...
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Something Sincere
hahah wow.. i couldnt help but spend a minute just laughing at this lil boy. He's seen poking at the older kids in the truck..before school got to him. I wonder what on earth was going on on this lil guy's brains at the moment. Where did he pick up the guts to do that? Or was it his only of showing the bigger kids "who was boss" ? haha
All those things where gone, once we grew up. Imagine him all grown up, with cloths on ofcourse, i bet you woudlnt get to see anything more interesting than this.
mahnn..
i just finished my Bio1- okla, and Maths1 - totally suckz coz 1.not enough to finish 2.left my "maths-doing brains" at home.. and forgot to bring it when i really needed it. *sighhhhh*
99% gotta resit end on the year lahh..
something really weird has happened to me. counting from 10am on 17/5 until 6pm 18/5. After asking God for some really urgent sleep, i managed to have 1 hour sleep. that was from 5.30am-6.30am this morning. i woke up feeling alright, went through a day of 2 papers ok, reach home at 5pm today feeling not bad. on my way back from college, i even considered the idea of sleeping pills. At least 1/2 of it would do la. Just needed some sleep. to my success, without the pills but with some prayer, i managed to do a 6pm-8pm just now. Thank you Lord. I could do with more later.
i wonder,if a situation of shock and anxiety could have been the cause of this. nvm.
i thought id treat myself to a bit of The Storyteller.
This time, she wrote on her favorite quotes from all time greatest artists.
MY favs :
"There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs." - Ansel Adams
"Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better." - Andre Gide
and from The Storyteller herself>
"I believe that the great artists in the history of mankind were able to produce such inspired works of art because they saw the Words, heard the Sounds and felt the Love. And that unlike most of us, they looked and listened with clear, sincere hearts." - Yasmin Ahmad
The saying of not letting other define you,finally hit me as a real truth. And neither does your vocation, what you are good at doing. I think it is what you desire to do having looked into yourself deep enough, and knowing yourself well enough. Sincerity, now, is easier to stumble upon than to go looking for it. Coz i doubt you would find it. The best of it is heartfelt, seen in actions & unspoken.
I think Yasmin Ahmad portrayed her sincerity and understanding of life by making Sepet.& I bet this photographer was sincere when he took this picture of the lil guy bumming around.
All those things where gone, once we grew up. Imagine him all grown up, with cloths on ofcourse, i bet you woudlnt get to see anything more interesting than this.
mahnn..
i just finished my Bio1- okla, and Maths1 - totally suckz coz 1.not enough to finish 2.left my "maths-doing brains" at home.. and forgot to bring it when i really needed it. *sighhhhh*
99% gotta resit end on the year lahh..
something really weird has happened to me. counting from 10am on 17/5 until 6pm 18/5. After asking God for some really urgent sleep, i managed to have 1 hour sleep. that was from 5.30am-6.30am this morning. i woke up feeling alright, went through a day of 2 papers ok, reach home at 5pm today feeling not bad. on my way back from college, i even considered the idea of sleeping pills. At least 1/2 of it would do la. Just needed some sleep. to my success, without the pills but with some prayer, i managed to do a 6pm-8pm just now. Thank you Lord. I could do with more later.
i wonder,if a situation of shock and anxiety could have been the cause of this. nvm.
i thought id treat myself to a bit of The Storyteller.
This time, she wrote on her favorite quotes from all time greatest artists.
MY favs :
"There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs." - Ansel Adams
"Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better." - Andre Gide
and from The Storyteller herself>
"I believe that the great artists in the history of mankind were able to produce such inspired works of art because they saw the Words, heard the Sounds and felt the Love. And that unlike most of us, they looked and listened with clear, sincere hearts." - Yasmin Ahmad
The saying of not letting other define you,finally hit me as a real truth. And neither does your vocation, what you are good at doing. I think it is what you desire to do having looked into yourself deep enough, and knowing yourself well enough. Sincerity, now, is easier to stumble upon than to go looking for it. Coz i doubt you would find it. The best of it is heartfelt, seen in actions & unspoken.
I think Yasmin Ahmad portrayed her sincerity and understanding of life by making Sepet.& I bet this photographer was sincere when he took this picture of the lil guy bumming around.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
The carebears-one of my favourite cartoons
Thinking about this brings back soooo many memories.Wherever good feelings are nurtured and shared! Care-a-lot is where the Care Bears live. It's a star-speckled, rainbow-trimmed, cotton candy, cloud world that's as brightly beautiful as a summer sunset and as snug and loving as a mother's hug. Care-a-lot is a child's weightless wonderland—a "positively anything's possible" kind of place and a perfect playland. In the heart of Care-a-lot is Care-a-lot Castle, where the Care Bears gather to help others. It's home to the "Hall of the Heart", a beautiful gallery where the Care Bears meet around a heart-shaped table.
Where's Care-a-lot? It's here, it's there, it's everywhere there are hearts that love and those who care!
There was Braveheart, Tenderheart,Cheer bear, Champ bear, and Friend bear ...they would do the Care-Bear-Stare and force back all evil. And also the Care bear count down 4-3-2-1.
They were the SUPERSTARS of the 1980s. One of my favourtie cartoons besides Jem, My Little Pony, Moondreamers, Transformers, Gummy Bears, Gumby, Sesame Street, The Smurfs, and Noddy!
It has been a long week thats coming to an end pretty soon. I got all my resluts which were not as bad as i thought it would be, but still, bad.
Supposed to go clubbin' right now, but went to Alexis to chill instead.It was a time of sharing many truths about each other. We played a tivia game, that anyone could ask anything about anybody with an honest answe in return. Ofcoz we could pass if we really didnt want to answer.Between a special 2 of us, we discussed on things about each other. ans came to some conclusions. We reached a good agreement and that things would have to wait till both of us are a bit more grown up and also for me to finish my course. In ou story, it was as if it was picked right out of a review, the one i last posted. "How odd is it that one could find empathy with someone of a completely different race?" Its all about subjectivity, about the person.
iv spent many days thinking and rethinking, and re- rethinking about this. Should pause fo a month till the exams finish. We will wait and see.
Care bear ....STARE!!!!!!
Where's Care-a-lot? It's here, it's there, it's everywhere there are hearts that love and those who care!
There was Braveheart, Tenderheart,Cheer bear, Champ bear, and Friend bear ...they would do the Care-Bear-Stare and force back all evil. And also the Care bear count down 4-3-2-1.
They were the SUPERSTARS of the 1980s. One of my favourtie cartoons besides Jem, My Little Pony, Moondreamers, Transformers, Gummy Bears, Gumby, Sesame Street, The Smurfs, and Noddy!
It has been a long week thats coming to an end pretty soon. I got all my resluts which were not as bad as i thought it would be, but still, bad.
Supposed to go clubbin' right now, but went to Alexis to chill instead.It was a time of sharing many truths about each other. We played a tivia game, that anyone could ask anything about anybody with an honest answe in return. Ofcoz we could pass if we really didnt want to answer.Between a special 2 of us, we discussed on things about each other. ans came to some conclusions. We reached a good agreement and that things would have to wait till both of us are a bit more grown up and also for me to finish my course. In ou story, it was as if it was picked right out of a review, the one i last posted. "How odd is it that one could find empathy with someone of a completely different race?" Its all about subjectivity, about the person.
iv spent many days thinking and rethinking, and re- rethinking about this. Should pause fo a month till the exams finish. We will wait and see.
Care bear ....STARE!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
sepet-eyes wide open
This, again is one if the review articles from Kakiseni.com about the movie Sepet. (i just love the movie)
what caught and got me glued to this atricle was the way the write explained the word "sepet", how it has become a trademark fo particularly chinese guys. How it has come to define and distinguish people in society. a lot of it has been my unspoken thoughts. Here it goes:
Eyes Wide Open
Yasmin Ahmad’s Sepet looks at the romantic possiblities of colour-blind love
Sepet: to possess single eyelids, or used pejoratively, slit-eyed. The condition of being slit-eyed sometimes goes beyond its physical designations to enforce racial stereotypes. The sepet person is associated with certain personality traits: either a shifty inscrutability (you can’t read the person’s eyes), or handicapped by narrow-mindedness (surely someone with eyes like that is bound to have a limited field of vision).
There is much to be said about how sepet-ness is employed to categorise the racial Other. In Malaysia, for example, where the Malays form the dominant race, the otherness of the Chinese is expressed not via skin colour (having fair skin is still considered a virtue; compare the damning ‘hitam legam’, neutral ‘sawo matang’ and the almost-euphemistic ‘hitam manis’ with the praiseworthy ‘putih bersih’, ‘putih melepak’ and ‘putih berseri’) but by other physiognomic features, like the aforementioned ‘sepet’.
Sepet is also the name of a film by director Yasmin Ahmad. It concerns the romance between an 19-year-old Chinese illegal VCD seller, Jason (Ng Choo Seong) and Orked (Sharifah Amani), a 16-year-old Malay schoolgirl.
The film opens with a scene of Jason reading poetry, in Chinese, to his Peranakan mother. This scene sets the tone for the rest of the film: it turns out that the poem was written by an Indian poet (one assumes it to be Tagore), and Jason’s mother makes a remark on how odd it is that one can find empathy with someone of a completely different race. There’s a certain tinge of clumsy speechifying going on here, and one senses that the director is eager to establish her humanist credentials at this point.
But of course there’s more to the scene than that. Asian mothers always possess strange prophetic gifts, and in true mulut masin fashion, Jason is to discover that not only is empathy possible between people of different races, but also ta-da: love! One busy day among the bustle of Ipoh’s street markets, Orked visits his makeshift stall and makes some enquiries about Wong Kar Wai movies. Their exchange is brief, but long enough for them to be caught in the cross-hairs of Cupid’s crossbow.
It is to the director’s credit that she refuses to rationalise the instant attraction between her two leads: it is not the product of some deep-rooted scar (nobody was molested by a babysitter of another race, for example) or a superficial taste for the exotic. Of course one can do some lazy pop-psychology and state that Orked’s attraction towards Jason is an extension of her idol-worship of Jap-Chinese cutie, Takeshi Kaneshiro. But infatuation rarely blossoms into the kind of romance the two find themselves in, filled with the flush of endearments like ‘sayang’ and desolate pillow-burying sobs.
Much of the criticism of inter-racial relationships is that they are built on the fantasy of stereotypes. The White Knight. The Oriental Kitten. The Hypermasculine Indian Man. The Sopan-santun Malay Woman. There is always a lingering suspicion among its detractors that the glorification of the Other is accompanied by some level of ethnic self-loathing: The Redneck. The Personality-Deficient Wife. The Serve-Thy-Lord-and-Master Husband. Or quite simply, ‘He/she who reminds me too much of my father/mother’. This is when love is perceived as pathological, as a kind of fetish, because it involves objectification.
The point that Sepet makes is that quite often, inter-racial relationships happen precisely because of an inverse scenario: what the two leads are interested in is each other’s subjectivity. If the skin is a garment, then like all genuine and frantic lovers, they are more interested in what lies beneath. They do not, in other words, obsess about the texture of silk stockings or the smell of briefs.
The director makes a few other points too: racial categories are descriptive, not prescriptive, and even when they describe they are woefully inadequate. When you have a Peranakan in the cast, you know that’s always a big Up Yours to strict Chinese/Malay classifications. Orked’s maid (played to earthy perfection by Adibah Noor) listens to Thai pop songs. She duets to a Chinese song with Orked’s mother (Ida Nerina), a Cantonese serial addict. Who often converses with her husband (Harith Iskandar) in a mixture of English and Malay.
Sometimes, though, the film loses control of its own political subtext and the dreaded message starts to rear its ungainly head. And thus we have a long explication on the genesis of the Peranakans, and speculation on the racial identities of the legendary Malaccan heroes. We also have Orked explaining Franz Fanon to her friend, which does make her character come across as precociously intelligent, but also makes her sound like she’s spelling out the movie’s manifesto.
In my opinion, the scenes that really embody the complexities of living in a multiracial society like Malaysia are the ones that are wordless. A particular scene comes to mind: Jason selects a song on his karaoke player – that classic whose lyrics go along the lines of, ‘Dia datang, dengan lenggang-lengguknya’. The intro sounds like something on Middle Eastern strings, and he’s miming air guitar to it. He freestyles to the music, his arms spread wide, hands flapping, making ducking movements. You might ask, how does this Chinese boy dance to this Malay music? Or rather, how does anyone dance to this music at all?
But it’s happening, before your very eyes. Jason’s friends ignore him, as if this is a routine they’re used to, or they’re deliberately ignoring his impish appeal for attention. The fascinating thing about the dance is that it’s impossible to tell if it’s parody or tribute; the expression on Jason’s face is a curious mixture of self-absorption and mock-seriousness. If it’s mockery, then is the gesture racist, the way people make fun of Indian dance by trying to move their heads in a horizontal plane or refer to lion dance as ‘tong-tong-chang’? If it’s not, then isn’t this one strange boy? But you watch him dance again and you think, who cares, it’s a body that’s moving to music, and it’s communicating such joy, and perhaps that’s what matters.
Ng Choo Seong delivers a natural, charming performance as Jason, although one might quibble a little with his sophisticated English diction. He is ably matched by Sharifah Amani, who manages to segue into headstrong and wistful modes with equal ease. The director’s choice of locations reveal an indisputable affection for the city of Ipoh, with its street vendors, generic fast-food chains, old-world photo studios and frenzied traffic.
I feel lucky, and I’m not gloating here, that I was able to attend a private screening of the uncut version of Sepet. I had been told that one of the censors’ consternations involved the fact that Orked had not broached the subject of Jason converting to Islam, and thus proceeded along their dogmatic agenda by circumcising the film eight times. There will be those who will consider Sepet a film that stretches plausibility, avoiding the ‘realities’ of inter-racial relationships. Where are the parental oppositions? How convenient to have authority figures who are liberal-minded. What happened to the inevitable, crashing realisation of cultural incompatibilities? Who will sembahyangkan whom?
Yasmin Ahmad will, of course, be accused of a rose-tinted utopianism. One function of art is of course to reflect reality as we know it. But another much-neglected function is to propose other realities, to portray the exceptions, because these lead us to imagining possibilities. I think there are parts of Sepet where the sentimentality or grandstanding could have been restrained. But I still believe it represents a landmark attempt at articulating the subject of a multiracial Malaysia.
In one scene of Sepet, Jason asks Orked about the decline of Malay cinema from its gilang-gemilang heydays. I recall a scene from P. Ramlee’s Ali Baba Bujang Lapuk, where Leng Husain basically performed a yellowface act (much like Paul Runi and Loiuse Rainer in ‘The Good Earth’) as a cobbler credited as ‘Apek Tukang Kasut’. The famous scene involves Sarimah leading the blindfolded Apek through the streets of Baghdad. They sing a duet, and much of its humour lies in the Apek’s exaggerated Chinese accent (one of his lines go: ‘semua hitam lagi banyak gulap, macham olang Habsyi negeli Alab’).
Contrast this with one indelible scene from Sepet, during the moment right after Jason’s first encounter with Orked. The historical blindfold is off. A medium shot of Jason, with his undeniably Sepet eyes, the very symbols of inscrutability, even hostility. But the expression conveyed on his face, via those eyes, is unmistakable. Curiosity, enchantment, yearning – the boy is lovestruck. At this moment, I would like to think that Malaysian cinema (or at least the films made by Malay directors) has come of age, because we are looking through his eyes.
what caught and got me glued to this atricle was the way the write explained the word "sepet", how it has become a trademark fo particularly chinese guys. How it has come to define and distinguish people in society. a lot of it has been my unspoken thoughts. Here it goes:
Eyes Wide Open
Yasmin Ahmad’s Sepet looks at the romantic possiblities of colour-blind love
Sepet: to possess single eyelids, or used pejoratively, slit-eyed. The condition of being slit-eyed sometimes goes beyond its physical designations to enforce racial stereotypes. The sepet person is associated with certain personality traits: either a shifty inscrutability (you can’t read the person’s eyes), or handicapped by narrow-mindedness (surely someone with eyes like that is bound to have a limited field of vision).
There is much to be said about how sepet-ness is employed to categorise the racial Other. In Malaysia, for example, where the Malays form the dominant race, the otherness of the Chinese is expressed not via skin colour (having fair skin is still considered a virtue; compare the damning ‘hitam legam’, neutral ‘sawo matang’ and the almost-euphemistic ‘hitam manis’ with the praiseworthy ‘putih bersih’, ‘putih melepak’ and ‘putih berseri’) but by other physiognomic features, like the aforementioned ‘sepet’.
Sepet is also the name of a film by director Yasmin Ahmad. It concerns the romance between an 19-year-old Chinese illegal VCD seller, Jason (Ng Choo Seong) and Orked (Sharifah Amani), a 16-year-old Malay schoolgirl.
The film opens with a scene of Jason reading poetry, in Chinese, to his Peranakan mother. This scene sets the tone for the rest of the film: it turns out that the poem was written by an Indian poet (one assumes it to be Tagore), and Jason’s mother makes a remark on how odd it is that one can find empathy with someone of a completely different race. There’s a certain tinge of clumsy speechifying going on here, and one senses that the director is eager to establish her humanist credentials at this point.
But of course there’s more to the scene than that. Asian mothers always possess strange prophetic gifts, and in true mulut masin fashion, Jason is to discover that not only is empathy possible between people of different races, but also ta-da: love! One busy day among the bustle of Ipoh’s street markets, Orked visits his makeshift stall and makes some enquiries about Wong Kar Wai movies. Their exchange is brief, but long enough for them to be caught in the cross-hairs of Cupid’s crossbow.
It is to the director’s credit that she refuses to rationalise the instant attraction between her two leads: it is not the product of some deep-rooted scar (nobody was molested by a babysitter of another race, for example) or a superficial taste for the exotic. Of course one can do some lazy pop-psychology and state that Orked’s attraction towards Jason is an extension of her idol-worship of Jap-Chinese cutie, Takeshi Kaneshiro. But infatuation rarely blossoms into the kind of romance the two find themselves in, filled with the flush of endearments like ‘sayang’ and desolate pillow-burying sobs.
Much of the criticism of inter-racial relationships is that they are built on the fantasy of stereotypes. The White Knight. The Oriental Kitten. The Hypermasculine Indian Man. The Sopan-santun Malay Woman. There is always a lingering suspicion among its detractors that the glorification of the Other is accompanied by some level of ethnic self-loathing: The Redneck. The Personality-Deficient Wife. The Serve-Thy-Lord-and-Master Husband. Or quite simply, ‘He/she who reminds me too much of my father/mother’. This is when love is perceived as pathological, as a kind of fetish, because it involves objectification.
The point that Sepet makes is that quite often, inter-racial relationships happen precisely because of an inverse scenario: what the two leads are interested in is each other’s subjectivity. If the skin is a garment, then like all genuine and frantic lovers, they are more interested in what lies beneath. They do not, in other words, obsess about the texture of silk stockings or the smell of briefs.
The director makes a few other points too: racial categories are descriptive, not prescriptive, and even when they describe they are woefully inadequate. When you have a Peranakan in the cast, you know that’s always a big Up Yours to strict Chinese/Malay classifications. Orked’s maid (played to earthy perfection by Adibah Noor) listens to Thai pop songs. She duets to a Chinese song with Orked’s mother (Ida Nerina), a Cantonese serial addict. Who often converses with her husband (Harith Iskandar) in a mixture of English and Malay.
Sometimes, though, the film loses control of its own political subtext and the dreaded message starts to rear its ungainly head. And thus we have a long explication on the genesis of the Peranakans, and speculation on the racial identities of the legendary Malaccan heroes. We also have Orked explaining Franz Fanon to her friend, which does make her character come across as precociously intelligent, but also makes her sound like she’s spelling out the movie’s manifesto.
In my opinion, the scenes that really embody the complexities of living in a multiracial society like Malaysia are the ones that are wordless. A particular scene comes to mind: Jason selects a song on his karaoke player – that classic whose lyrics go along the lines of, ‘Dia datang, dengan lenggang-lengguknya’. The intro sounds like something on Middle Eastern strings, and he’s miming air guitar to it. He freestyles to the music, his arms spread wide, hands flapping, making ducking movements. You might ask, how does this Chinese boy dance to this Malay music? Or rather, how does anyone dance to this music at all?
But it’s happening, before your very eyes. Jason’s friends ignore him, as if this is a routine they’re used to, or they’re deliberately ignoring his impish appeal for attention. The fascinating thing about the dance is that it’s impossible to tell if it’s parody or tribute; the expression on Jason’s face is a curious mixture of self-absorption and mock-seriousness. If it’s mockery, then is the gesture racist, the way people make fun of Indian dance by trying to move their heads in a horizontal plane or refer to lion dance as ‘tong-tong-chang’? If it’s not, then isn’t this one strange boy? But you watch him dance again and you think, who cares, it’s a body that’s moving to music, and it’s communicating such joy, and perhaps that’s what matters.
Ng Choo Seong delivers a natural, charming performance as Jason, although one might quibble a little with his sophisticated English diction. He is ably matched by Sharifah Amani, who manages to segue into headstrong and wistful modes with equal ease. The director’s choice of locations reveal an indisputable affection for the city of Ipoh, with its street vendors, generic fast-food chains, old-world photo studios and frenzied traffic.
I feel lucky, and I’m not gloating here, that I was able to attend a private screening of the uncut version of Sepet. I had been told that one of the censors’ consternations involved the fact that Orked had not broached the subject of Jason converting to Islam, and thus proceeded along their dogmatic agenda by circumcising the film eight times. There will be those who will consider Sepet a film that stretches plausibility, avoiding the ‘realities’ of inter-racial relationships. Where are the parental oppositions? How convenient to have authority figures who are liberal-minded. What happened to the inevitable, crashing realisation of cultural incompatibilities? Who will sembahyangkan whom?
Yasmin Ahmad will, of course, be accused of a rose-tinted utopianism. One function of art is of course to reflect reality as we know it. But another much-neglected function is to propose other realities, to portray the exceptions, because these lead us to imagining possibilities. I think there are parts of Sepet where the sentimentality or grandstanding could have been restrained. But I still believe it represents a landmark attempt at articulating the subject of a multiracial Malaysia.
In one scene of Sepet, Jason asks Orked about the decline of Malay cinema from its gilang-gemilang heydays. I recall a scene from P. Ramlee’s Ali Baba Bujang Lapuk, where Leng Husain basically performed a yellowface act (much like Paul Runi and Loiuse Rainer in ‘The Good Earth’) as a cobbler credited as ‘Apek Tukang Kasut’. The famous scene involves Sarimah leading the blindfolded Apek through the streets of Baghdad. They sing a duet, and much of its humour lies in the Apek’s exaggerated Chinese accent (one of his lines go: ‘semua hitam lagi banyak gulap, macham olang Habsyi negeli Alab’).
Contrast this with one indelible scene from Sepet, during the moment right after Jason’s first encounter with Orked. The historical blindfold is off. A medium shot of Jason, with his undeniably Sepet eyes, the very symbols of inscrutability, even hostility. But the expression conveyed on his face, via those eyes, is unmistakable. Curiosity, enchantment, yearning – the boy is lovestruck. At this moment, I would like to think that Malaysian cinema (or at least the films made by Malay directors) has come of age, because we are looking through his eyes.
ohhh musnt miss this: LOve On Trail
kkk.. this is the post from Yasmin Ahmad's own blog with i wanted to put here as a keepsake.i forgot about it but stubbled accross it at Kakiseni.com, so i thought, might as well.. its a wonderful piece of reality. and people who never got a taste of it. so all of this is from Kakiseni.com
Love On Trial
We the rakyat, as represented by the Censorship Board, are being spared of Yasmin Ahmad's new film Sepet, which features - god forbid! - interracial romance. It does not seem to matter that every year, we the rakyat have also seen many of Yasmin Ahmad's famously muhibbah Petronas advertisements on TV, with their interracial teenage romance and interracial neighbourliness.
Following her previous film Rabun, about the love between an elderly Malay couple, Yasmin, the romantic with an edge, have decided to make Sepet.
Here's the cute synopsis from the website: "19-year old Ah Loong is in charge of a stall selling pirated vcd's. Contrary to what you might expect someone of his social standing to be, Ah Loong is an incurable romantic with an unlikely hobby - he loves to read and write poetry. Quite content to carry on being the Romeo of the slums, Ah Loong's life takes a sudden turn one day when a 16-year old Malay schoolgirl arrives at his stall in search of Wong Kar-Wai's films."
Sepet won the Best ASEAN Feature at the recent Malaysian Video Awards, and has been invited to the San Francisco International Film Festival, Barcelona Asian Film Festival, and Creteil International Women Directors Festival. But our National Censorship Board has imposed nine cuts on the film. If the filmmakers fail to cooperate, the film will be banned.
The following is an account, in Yasmin's own words, of what happened during the appeal with the censors. -- ed.
~ ~ ~
There were, if my memory serves me, 12 people in that viewing theatre.
Somewhere in the middle of "Sepet", Jins Shamsuddin, a panel member who was nodding off at the back, was rudely awakened by the thud-thud-crash of his own songkok falling on the wooden floor. He bolted up, his severely thinning hair sticking out in all directions, looked around in slow-motion like a camel, picked up his songkok, slumped back into his seat, and went back to sleep.
As soon as the screening was over, the only woman in the appeal panel stood up, teary-eyed, and said, "Puan Yasmin, I enjoyed that film very much. Thank you both for making it. Congratulations."
My producer and I muttered under our breath, "Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah."
Next in line was a Chinese man in his 50's.
"That's not a Malay movie or a Chinese movie or an Indian movie," he declared, "That's a Malaysian movie."
Rosnah and I heaved a big sigh of relief. Clearly, we were counting our chickens before they were hatched, because from then onwards, it went downhill.
"Why didn't you bring up the issue of religion?"
"Why didn't she try to convert him? The Malays would have liked that."
"Why did you make her walk into a Chinese restaurant where non-halal food was probably served?"
"If she's supposed to be liberal, why did you make her wear baju kurung all the time?"
"A long time ago, the Malay people had two bad habits. The men liked to lie down on the floor wearing only sarongs, exposing their tummies, while the women liked to waste time picking lice from each other's hair. Are you trying to revive these old habits?"
And of course, their coup de grace, articulated by someone called Abdul Aziz:
"We represent the rakyat (the people). We showed your film to some members of the rakyat, and I'm afraid the verdict was not favourable. They want your film stopped."
To which I replied, "My mother always tells me that my rezeki (my lot in life) is in the hands of Allah, and not in the hands of people like you or anyone else."
And on that note, Rosnah and I thanked them, and bade our farewell.
The final verdict has YET to be made.
THis was the reality Yasmin Ahamd had to face before we even got to watch the movie. But however the matters of the heart triumphed.
Love On Trial
We the rakyat, as represented by the Censorship Board, are being spared of Yasmin Ahmad's new film Sepet, which features - god forbid! - interracial romance. It does not seem to matter that every year, we the rakyat have also seen many of Yasmin Ahmad's famously muhibbah Petronas advertisements on TV, with their interracial teenage romance and interracial neighbourliness.
Following her previous film Rabun, about the love between an elderly Malay couple, Yasmin, the romantic with an edge, have decided to make Sepet.
Here's the cute synopsis from the website: "19-year old Ah Loong is in charge of a stall selling pirated vcd's. Contrary to what you might expect someone of his social standing to be, Ah Loong is an incurable romantic with an unlikely hobby - he loves to read and write poetry. Quite content to carry on being the Romeo of the slums, Ah Loong's life takes a sudden turn one day when a 16-year old Malay schoolgirl arrives at his stall in search of Wong Kar-Wai's films."
Sepet won the Best ASEAN Feature at the recent Malaysian Video Awards, and has been invited to the San Francisco International Film Festival, Barcelona Asian Film Festival, and Creteil International Women Directors Festival. But our National Censorship Board has imposed nine cuts on the film. If the filmmakers fail to cooperate, the film will be banned.
The following is an account, in Yasmin's own words, of what happened during the appeal with the censors. -- ed.
~ ~ ~
There were, if my memory serves me, 12 people in that viewing theatre.
Somewhere in the middle of "Sepet", Jins Shamsuddin, a panel member who was nodding off at the back, was rudely awakened by the thud-thud-crash of his own songkok falling on the wooden floor. He bolted up, his severely thinning hair sticking out in all directions, looked around in slow-motion like a camel, picked up his songkok, slumped back into his seat, and went back to sleep.
As soon as the screening was over, the only woman in the appeal panel stood up, teary-eyed, and said, "Puan Yasmin, I enjoyed that film very much. Thank you both for making it. Congratulations."
My producer and I muttered under our breath, "Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah."
Next in line was a Chinese man in his 50's.
"That's not a Malay movie or a Chinese movie or an Indian movie," he declared, "That's a Malaysian movie."
Rosnah and I heaved a big sigh of relief. Clearly, we were counting our chickens before they were hatched, because from then onwards, it went downhill.
"Why didn't you bring up the issue of religion?"
"Why didn't she try to convert him? The Malays would have liked that."
"Why did you make her walk into a Chinese restaurant where non-halal food was probably served?"
"If she's supposed to be liberal, why did you make her wear baju kurung all the time?"
"A long time ago, the Malay people had two bad habits. The men liked to lie down on the floor wearing only sarongs, exposing their tummies, while the women liked to waste time picking lice from each other's hair. Are you trying to revive these old habits?"
And of course, their coup de grace, articulated by someone called Abdul Aziz:
"We represent the rakyat (the people). We showed your film to some members of the rakyat, and I'm afraid the verdict was not favourable. They want your film stopped."
To which I replied, "My mother always tells me that my rezeki (my lot in life) is in the hands of Allah, and not in the hands of people like you or anyone else."
And on that note, Rosnah and I thanked them, and bade our farewell.
The final verdict has YET to be made.
THis was the reality Yasmin Ahamd had to face before we even got to watch the movie. But however the matters of the heart triumphed.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
jason and orked. another wonderful piece
hehe now how cute is this?? This is adorable and very touching at the same time. its like..."wah.. the guy like her so much sampai wanna wear t-shirt with her face on it.." then again, best on-screen couple mahh..
People in advertising really can do wonders. i wonder..in real life, how many people have been through or are even living this same story. i for one am. and boy, is it interesting, confusing, and wonderful. hmmm lost for words la.
The movie makes it look so simple. For one, there no opposition of WHAT SO EVER from boths sides of the family. Thrue la coz, ae u gonna marry the person or their family.
But to think again, i think its both. When u marry, u mary INTO the family, and thus the relationships between every member counts. Even if u decide to stay apart from the in-laws, still , u'v caused a drift between family bonds. If only every one was as thoughtful and as understanding rite. aihhhh wat 2 do??? Can i just wait and see? Or must i choose what i want to see? *oh im darn full after those Mcds*
got my Mechanics trial results today. was ok, but with a lot of bonus marks la.. if not, i really dont know what would have been the out come.Bio 1 and Maths 1 will be in exactly one week. and im planning to go check out a club in KL on friday. hmm exams next week + clubbing on friday?? what the????
People in advertising really can do wonders. i wonder..in real life, how many people have been through or are even living this same story. i for one am. and boy, is it interesting, confusing, and wonderful. hmmm lost for words la.
The movie makes it look so simple. For one, there no opposition of WHAT SO EVER from boths sides of the family. Thrue la coz, ae u gonna marry the person or their family.
But to think again, i think its both. When u marry, u mary INTO the family, and thus the relationships between every member counts. Even if u decide to stay apart from the in-laws, still , u'v caused a drift between family bonds. If only every one was as thoughtful and as understanding rite. aihhhh wat 2 do??? Can i just wait and see? Or must i choose what i want to see? *oh im darn full after those Mcds*
got my Mechanics trial results today. was ok, but with a lot of bonus marks la.. if not, i really dont know what would have been the out come.Bio 1 and Maths 1 will be in exactly one week. and im planning to go check out a club in KL on friday. hmm exams next week + clubbing on friday?? what the????
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas
Sana'y Wala. As most of the fans call it, is one of the most popular Philipino soap operas that has ever been shown on tv. Kristine Hermosa played Arabella Gracie Garcia and Jericho Rosales played Christian Soriano in this last drama. They played lovers which faced the wicked game of fate, love and faithfulness. Also anothe good-lookin that was in the drama was Diether Ocampo(Leo Madrigal).
Kristine and Jericho were paired up before in Pangako Sa Yo which was also a hit that i missed. Kristine and Jericho were also a real life couple before and during Pangako SaYo, but had already split during Sana'y Wala. so sad.. but they still made a teific on-sceen couple. one of my favourites besides Jason and Orked in Sepet. hehe
i went to titiwangsa for a jog at 7am this morning...was a different thing for me to do. it was pretty refreshing. i thought it would be good to restart an old but good habit of jogging on saturday mornings.had a 15 min jog, 1/2 hr walk, and spent the next hour watching a tennis match played by a goup of 8 old men who ae super skilfull whom ive seen playing there every saturday since i was 14years old. it was a nice morning.
later this evening, i went to a exschool frens gathering. We all once belonged to the Batu3 third Scout troope that once shone with success at evey camping-campfire event. due to some issues, near to 3/4 of the people left.After 4years,The troope is curently in the dumps with no seniors left to teach. We gathered today, to ask each other of our opinion on whether to return to the troope, to get it standing again. If we go, its all 20 or more of us going back 'home' at once. The decision...a weeks time from now. More thinking has to be done. But, fo me, i want to go home.The home which i loved,loved me, and in which all shared love.
Kristine and Jericho were paired up before in Pangako Sa Yo which was also a hit that i missed. Kristine and Jericho were also a real life couple before and during Pangako SaYo, but had already split during Sana'y Wala. so sad.. but they still made a teific on-sceen couple. one of my favourites besides Jason and Orked in Sepet. hehe
i went to titiwangsa for a jog at 7am this morning...was a different thing for me to do. it was pretty refreshing. i thought it would be good to restart an old but good habit of jogging on saturday mornings.had a 15 min jog, 1/2 hr walk, and spent the next hour watching a tennis match played by a goup of 8 old men who ae super skilfull whom ive seen playing there every saturday since i was 14years old. it was a nice morning.
later this evening, i went to a exschool frens gathering. We all once belonged to the Batu3 third Scout troope that once shone with success at evey camping-campfire event. due to some issues, near to 3/4 of the people left.After 4years,The troope is curently in the dumps with no seniors left to teach. We gathered today, to ask each other of our opinion on whether to return to the troope, to get it standing again. If we go, its all 20 or more of us going back 'home' at once. The decision...a weeks time from now. More thinking has to be done. But, fo me, i want to go home.The home which i loved,loved me, and in which all shared love.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Bukan main punya Immitation.. Salute!!
the original read:
SEPET
one chinese boy ... one malay girl... one unforgettable love story...
well this is it as far as i remember..
but take a look at this one i found on the blod the women herself PnYasmin ahmad;s blog..
one chinese goy..one chinese girl.. one immitation love story...
this is by far one of the COOLEST immitations i've ever seen.. Pn Yasmin loved it herself.
aahahahahahah hahahah tsk tsk tsk..hahahaha (had to let it out)
ok
yeahh i just as in juuuuuuuss came home from my aunt's place. and mahnn does it feel GREAT to be home.. MY home.. MY territory.. MUAAAhahaha okokok
i feel 20% different from before i left. after 4 days of long, hard thinking.. and a lengthy conversation with my best friend early this morning, i certainly feel that my brain and heart are 10% lighter each. at last, the weeklong cloudy and cold sky has started to clear letting in some soft heartwarming rays of sun. God, this has got to be the long awaited answer to that prayer.Thank YOU.
hmm..apa lagi.. i met a few new friends when i went back to college yesterday.. interesting people.God, thank you for the open doors.
iv also began to like my blog. didnt really like it at first. what am i crapping..
okla..till i have saner things to blog on..
SEPET
one chinese boy ... one malay girl... one unforgettable love story...
well this is it as far as i remember..
but take a look at this one i found on the blod the women herself PnYasmin ahmad;s blog..
one chinese goy..one chinese girl.. one immitation love story...
this is by far one of the COOLEST immitations i've ever seen.. Pn Yasmin loved it herself.
aahahahahahah hahahah tsk tsk tsk..hahahaha (had to let it out)
ok
yeahh i just as in juuuuuuuss came home from my aunt's place. and mahnn does it feel GREAT to be home.. MY home.. MY territory.. MUAAAhahaha okokok
i feel 20% different from before i left. after 4 days of long, hard thinking.. and a lengthy conversation with my best friend early this morning, i certainly feel that my brain and heart are 10% lighter each. at last, the weeklong cloudy and cold sky has started to clear letting in some soft heartwarming rays of sun. God, this has got to be the long awaited answer to that prayer.Thank YOU.
hmm..apa lagi.. i met a few new friends when i went back to college yesterday.. interesting people.God, thank you for the open doors.
iv also began to like my blog. didnt really like it at first. what am i crapping..
okla..till i have saner things to blog on..
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Pondering, wondering, lotsa thinking..
aiyah...4got 2 post the picture with d guy fishing.. wait till i get home la..
im at my aunt's place for a week long college break after the trial exams. thank God for this week. managed to take some time off to think over lots of serious stuff, and also to prepare for the upcoming AS lvel exams which is starting on 18thMay all d way until 8thJune.
tsktsk..i miss my computer..tho its bl**dy slow at times..or rather..MOst of the time, but it has served me real well. i also miss my grandma whose gonna be alone at home since my semangat grandpa has decided to go back to work. oh yess.. and i also miss my bed..but not that i have been sleeping on it for the past 3/4 months.. due to the extreamly hot weather which then made me turn my living room into my 2nd bedroom. now i have 3 bedrooms..how cool is that? i miss d stray cats that treat my house as their own.. and believe it or not?? i actually miss my sister!! my WHO? my sis.. yeah d one and only. i also miss DEarie..hmmm have to wait till saturday to fix that..
something is happening to me recently..to the point where i actually start missing my sister.. hmnmm..smells..fishy... but i just ate sausages,..&*$$#%&*!~~ nvm
till saturday...im offff again.. bye Blog.
im at my aunt's place for a week long college break after the trial exams. thank God for this week. managed to take some time off to think over lots of serious stuff, and also to prepare for the upcoming AS lvel exams which is starting on 18thMay all d way until 8thJune.
tsktsk..i miss my computer..tho its bl**dy slow at times..or rather..MOst of the time, but it has served me real well. i also miss my grandma whose gonna be alone at home since my semangat grandpa has decided to go back to work. oh yess.. and i also miss my bed..but not that i have been sleeping on it for the past 3/4 months.. due to the extreamly hot weather which then made me turn my living room into my 2nd bedroom. now i have 3 bedrooms..how cool is that? i miss d stray cats that treat my house as their own.. and believe it or not?? i actually miss my sister!! my WHO? my sis.. yeah d one and only. i also miss DEarie..hmmm have to wait till saturday to fix that..
something is happening to me recently..to the point where i actually start missing my sister.. hmnmm..smells..fishy... but i just ate sausages,..&*$$#%&*!~~ nvm
till saturday...im offff again.. bye Blog.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
bryan n mimi- laikuen's pets
presenting...Bryan and Mimi.. Byan is the dark Terrier and Mimi is the off white poodle..this amazing couple is my buddy laikuen's pets.. why did i upload this picture? i duno.. too cute kua..
this pass weekend had been almost what i expected it to be.i guess that prooves the saying 'what you see is really what you get'.. i had sort of engraved it into my mind that is would not be a good satday, and sunday.some major changes have occured in some relationships that has left me stunned, stoned, sort of lost, a little bit dissoriented, and the likes.
jumping at the thought that not many people read this,..hehe i thought i could load off some baggage right here.
hehe not much left to say though. most of it has already been put down unto paper and thrown away. kononya to fo get about it. to me, that actually helped, to an extent la. now that i have more space on my body's hard drive,should just calm down,have a San Francisco coffee iceblend (a must have during those day filled with grey skies, a heavy heart, or even a time to celebrate, basically it acts as a conforter/ encourager or sumsort), plan the whole next week ahead, and from today onwards, work out that plan.
as for a little bit of that lingering stray thoughts, i would write it down on anything i could find, and throw it away immediately.haha guess i will be doing lots of disposing. hahaahh what to do.. if it helps, why not?
AS is extactly 2weeks away from now. wanna 'gok' out all that i have for it. may everything i read and do stick in my mind until the paper is over. actually must use cement to cement it into d brain la..
i'll be away at my aunt's place for the week.. sort of a get away.. getting away from... what?
this pass weekend had been almost what i expected it to be.i guess that prooves the saying 'what you see is really what you get'.. i had sort of engraved it into my mind that is would not be a good satday, and sunday.some major changes have occured in some relationships that has left me stunned, stoned, sort of lost, a little bit dissoriented, and the likes.
jumping at the thought that not many people read this,..hehe i thought i could load off some baggage right here.
hehe not much left to say though. most of it has already been put down unto paper and thrown away. kononya to fo get about it. to me, that actually helped, to an extent la. now that i have more space on my body's hard drive,should just calm down,have a San Francisco coffee iceblend (a must have during those day filled with grey skies, a heavy heart, or even a time to celebrate, basically it acts as a conforter/ encourager or sumsort), plan the whole next week ahead, and from today onwards, work out that plan.
as for a little bit of that lingering stray thoughts, i would write it down on anything i could find, and throw it away immediately.haha guess i will be doing lots of disposing. hahaahh what to do.. if it helps, why not?
AS is extactly 2weeks away from now. wanna 'gok' out all that i have for it. may everything i read and do stick in my mind until the paper is over. actually must use cement to cement it into d brain la..
i'll be away at my aunt's place for the week.. sort of a get away.. getting away from... what?
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Last day of trials
it has been a pretty long and strainful 2weeks.. is all the hard work being paid off..i really don't know. i know i have not put ALL my best into this exam. But thank goodness theres another 2weeks of 'mercy' to get things right and ready for the BIG week.
haha i didnt succeed in sleeping as long as i wanted to this afternoon after our last paper, having lunch and flavoured tau fu fah ad me punya favorite curry laksa at OUG, getting soooo full and stuffed and getting so sleepy after that, i was so afriad i would just drop 'dead' asleep while on my way home. Good thing i made it to my bed just in time to pengsan on it, hoping that i would not get up until 9/10pm...unfortunately, the lunch fullness wore off by 5pm. But why???? its the afternoon after my last paper.. i should be doing..something...stupid.. and of a total waste of time.
hehe...i know what i wanna do.. i wanna go watch the long awaited BEauty Shop staring Queen Latifah and the gang..i saw the trailer, the Queen herself and a few things she had done to promote the movie. i seemed fun. but who to go with?? nyak nyak nyak.. i nkow just the victim.. my dear fiend azri.. haha
i finally bullied him into temaning me to watch a chick flick.. the fact that he was willing to watch a chick flick was rather sweet.Thanks dude =)
oh yeah..more on on Yasmin Ahmads blog.. 2moro. there are some of he quotes that would like to have on my blog for keepsake.. she rockz harder than Constantine!!~ oyasumi
haha i didnt succeed in sleeping as long as i wanted to this afternoon after our last paper, having lunch and flavoured tau fu fah ad me punya favorite curry laksa at OUG, getting soooo full and stuffed and getting so sleepy after that, i was so afriad i would just drop 'dead' asleep while on my way home. Good thing i made it to my bed just in time to pengsan on it, hoping that i would not get up until 9/10pm...unfortunately, the lunch fullness wore off by 5pm. But why???? its the afternoon after my last paper.. i should be doing..something...stupid.. and of a total waste of time.
hehe...i know what i wanna do.. i wanna go watch the long awaited BEauty Shop staring Queen Latifah and the gang..i saw the trailer, the Queen herself and a few things she had done to promote the movie. i seemed fun. but who to go with?? nyak nyak nyak.. i nkow just the victim.. my dear fiend azri.. haha
i finally bullied him into temaning me to watch a chick flick.. the fact that he was willing to watch a chick flick was rather sweet.Thanks dude =)
oh yeah..more on on Yasmin Ahmads blog.. 2moro. there are some of he quotes that would like to have on my blog for keepsake.. she rockz harder than Constantine!!~ oyasumi
Monday, April 25, 2005
The Authentic 3
back early from college.Just finished Chem P1 at 10am. phewww... 5papers down.. and 3 more to go. Bio2 is tomorrow. Gotta go study.in a while...
hehehh
Last week was interesting..even more towards the end. I cant help but think about whats gonna happen in the next 2 weeks. Not in anticipation, but rather worried.
When something good happens, you start think: woahh,this is too good to be absolutely true. When things arent going the way you expect it: aiyahh whats wrong with me??!
I had a very perculiar dream last monday(considered old news la..). I dreamt that my grdma told me that there was a fat man walking up and down outside my house. I started to get worried at this suspicious looking guy and that he might be up to robbing us. right enough, he walked in. i felt responsible, and walked out to chase him out.dont know where i got my guts from tho. wen i came face2face with him, he took out a spoon frm his big back pack, supposingly to start a fight. i found myself weaponless, then he gave my a fork from him bag for me to fight him!~~ whaddA? so i take la. we walked around in circles ( like in the movies b4 ppl start to fight), then i tried to slash his face, just to wound him la..didnt have the intention of killing him. but he was too tall, so tak jadi. then i tried to poke him, and see see jadi woh.. i managed to push the fork half way thru..then with 1 punch i maneged to get the whole fork head in...den..WHAM...he fell to the floor to rest..forever.. i was relieved la.. bt somehow did not feel good. ofcoz la... i killed a person!!!
then...out of dunno from wer 3 chinese gals came running into my house claiming that they were the dead guy's sisters. they ran in started scolding me..
then we ended up in my house kitchen eating maggi cup mee..~~~ whaDDA?? =The End=
tot this was a weird n ridiculous.. but as i talked to my cg leader.. dreams arent merely dreams..
hehehh
Last week was interesting..even more towards the end. I cant help but think about whats gonna happen in the next 2 weeks. Not in anticipation, but rather worried.
When something good happens, you start think: woahh,this is too good to be absolutely true. When things arent going the way you expect it: aiyahh whats wrong with me??!
I had a very perculiar dream last monday(considered old news la..). I dreamt that my grdma told me that there was a fat man walking up and down outside my house. I started to get worried at this suspicious looking guy and that he might be up to robbing us. right enough, he walked in. i felt responsible, and walked out to chase him out.dont know where i got my guts from tho. wen i came face2face with him, he took out a spoon frm his big back pack, supposingly to start a fight. i found myself weaponless, then he gave my a fork from him bag for me to fight him!~~ whaddA? so i take la. we walked around in circles ( like in the movies b4 ppl start to fight), then i tried to slash his face, just to wound him la..didnt have the intention of killing him. but he was too tall, so tak jadi. then i tried to poke him, and see see jadi woh.. i managed to push the fork half way thru..then with 1 punch i maneged to get the whole fork head in...den..WHAM...he fell to the floor to rest..forever.. i was relieved la.. bt somehow did not feel good. ofcoz la... i killed a person!!!
then...out of dunno from wer 3 chinese gals came running into my house claiming that they were the dead guy's sisters. they ran in started scolding me..
then we ended up in my house kitchen eating maggi cup mee..~~~ whaDDA?? =The End=
tot this was a weird n ridiculous.. but as i talked to my cg leader.. dreams arent merely dreams..
Thursday, April 21, 2005
tribes and culture
ermm.. actually, i dont know what on earth to talk about.
i stumbled accross this photo and many others frm The Malaysian Photography Club or sumthing like that. Its collections are by ofcourse malaysian phtographers and ae mainly about seeing the world through malaysian eyes.
recently i have been overwhelmed by the largeness, wideness, and the intensity in diversity of people, cultures and personality around me. it is a beautiful thing.. to see how differently, beautifully, freafully and wonderfully God has created each and everyone or even every living thing that exists on earth.
in this photo, these women adorn themselves with multiple layers of rings around their necks to make them longer. weird? But that is defined as 'beauty' to them. What does beauty to you? aiyahh... no time... blog on this later.. caooo
i stumbled accross this photo and many others frm The Malaysian Photography Club or sumthing like that. Its collections are by ofcourse malaysian phtographers and ae mainly about seeing the world through malaysian eyes.
recently i have been overwhelmed by the largeness, wideness, and the intensity in diversity of people, cultures and personality around me. it is a beautiful thing.. to see how differently, beautifully, freafully and wonderfully God has created each and everyone or even every living thing that exists on earth.
in this photo, these women adorn themselves with multiple layers of rings around their necks to make them longer. weird? But that is defined as 'beauty' to them. What does beauty to you? aiyahh... no time... blog on this later.. caooo
Sunday, April 17, 2005
stupid photo? i guess so too.
hueh hueh hueh... this photo was taken with karen;s new webcam i helped her to get. tsk tsk too bad i have to wait until year end to get mine, o maybe not.
this is one of my 1st photos evey to be put online. it will be a memorable one for me.
had a great day of rest. although i should be vey busy spending all my time studiying,some how i feel rather calm this time around. God has been great, introducing me to a whole new dimension of stuff including the Holy Spirit. Who He is, How He works, what He looks like, and that He is everything to you.
Recently also i'v been listening to sermons of other youth preachers, reading a few good books, and discovering many new and interesting things. A few relationships have improved tremendously and moving on to sharing on how God has changed my own life 360 deg. Trails are 2days away. God let your Spirit come and be with me. i need You in every area of my life.
this is one of my 1st photos evey to be put online. it will be a memorable one for me.
had a great day of rest. although i should be vey busy spending all my time studiying,some how i feel rather calm this time around. God has been great, introducing me to a whole new dimension of stuff including the Holy Spirit. Who He is, How He works, what He looks like, and that He is everything to you.
Recently also i'v been listening to sermons of other youth preachers, reading a few good books, and discovering many new and interesting things. A few relationships have improved tremendously and moving on to sharing on how God has changed my own life 360 deg. Trails are 2days away. God let your Spirit come and be with me. i need You in every area of my life.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Diversity
what can you see in this? do you see what i see? i see perfect harmony.
it never occurred to me that every person can see a different thing in the same picture. the picture here could be almost any thing at all in life. Walks, talks, relationships, arguments, special moments, the highs and the lows. and that what they see actually determinds the state of mind. Prolly it could also define the whole person.
When i started on my journey to 'prove' that fact, it wasnt hard to find, and i need not look to far. Just had to look around.
one of the many situations i observed was about a friend going thru a rough time.Emotionally wounded and all. 1 thing he said that amazed me was that i was the 1st and only one he had shared his 'issues' with. i had to believe that in the name or Trust even if i really didnt.
i guess,people have a probelm looking at situations which dont normally occur or like 'this is the way it should go in life, anything besides it aint suppose to be good'. in this case, God's idea in creating diversity would be in total vain.
Coloured people would have been ruled into bleeching themselves. there would be strictly NO cross cultural relationships, let alone marraige.in these times, still, why cant people look at love through the different shades,sizes and ...labels.? not every two people are the same. i will challenge you to change that fact. life would be BOOring and the skies would be in black-N-white or worse,colourless..
Let us let love prove itself in our lives.
LOVE shines through all differences. If everyone were to live by love or even swear in the name of love,it would be the most colourful world anyone could live in.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
stop! someonemaybe watching
awwww.. this is simply adorable!~~
actually found myself laughing my head off at the sight of this. This dog abviously seems like the man's best friend~
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Haha! a pleasant surprise.. and a passion
hhoho... didnt know that there actually were who did ''stumble' into dis place..cz i just noticed that there actually were comments to my posts.. muahahaa... boiling over with sampatness.. *bluEK*
one of my church mem aka cell group mem aka great friend just left for Ipoh-his hometown. The place that he very fondly refers to as -the land flowing with milk and hoNey.. hmm guess everyone loves their roots. but this guy, is darn in love with it. cant blame him, that place is indeed a good place to live in for the rest of your life.
nyway, will always miss you kheng hoe. dont u even dare to forget us. As Moni wrote in the book we gave you, "we'll reach there soon"...so...beware.. *thunder & lightning*
it has been around 2 weeks since watching sepet. but what really kept be clinging on to is the kononnya 'philosophy' or the writer/director Pn Yasmin Ahmad. Her blog is on my Favourites list and i just cant seem to get enough of it... All her pieces have been my unspoken thoughts and undone actions.
i think in the nex few blogs, i would be posting extacts frm her work. Hope any of you that stumble into my blog would enjoy it. Now, iv finally found a passion. Not one that could take the place of Christ but, well, a natural one. I could say, apart from God, this whole big topic, plays an extreamly big role and has huge influence on my life.
Frm the blog- The Storyteller
Question: Is Sepet political?
Answer: I don't know. Is it? I can only tell you my intentions which were true and stated in my writer/director notes. If, by advocating the choosing of love over hate, I happen to touch on some political issues, then there it is. I don't care much for politics, and often have very little opinion about it, but I guess no one can fully escape it.
Q: Your director's note may say it's less about race and more a love story. But the cross-cultural juxtapositions, the tangential issues of ethnic perceptions raised throughout the movie AND the fact that you're trying to show racism is superficial, that the underlying problems are more about basic human weaknesses... isn't that political?
A: Hullo brudder, you just laid out a long list of HUMAN issues, and then asked me if it's POLITICAL. What gives? But to answer at least part of your question, I had to make it obvious at the beginning that these kids were of different races before I could ignore the fact with any degree of aplomb.
Q: Cinema, for an outsider, can seem to be a strange endeavour where lots of money (and it is a lot) is poured into a project, usually by people who are not exactly tycoons who could easily risk such sums, which is directed (and spent) by people whose abiding preoccupation is the artistic value of the project, and not whether they could make the money back. At least that's how it sounds like from an indie filmmaker. Why do you make films? Do you make films to make money? Do you make films to impress people? What is the filmmaker's responsibility - if you can call it that? Did you set out to make your films marketable, as one of the objectives, if not THE primary objective? What is the market for Sepet?
A: If you think you can become a millionaire by making films in a little country with a population of only 20 million people, you're either insane or on drugs. I make films because I feel I have some stories worth telling, about things I care about, to people that matter to me. I believe my responsibility is to tell that story as well as I can, creating as much pathos as I am able to. Whether or not a film makes money in this country, I think, is not the responsibility of the writer or director, but the people who put money behind the idea. I just write a story and try to make a film. They'll have to decide for themselves if my ideas are worth their financial backing. I can't decide for them.
Q: What did you learn from making Rabun that helped you in making Sepet?
A: I learned that if you rehearse and rehearse first-time actors, after a while they stop acting and start being themselves. That was a lovely discovery.
Q: How do you think local indie filmmakers can or should develop to the next level?
A: I urge some of us to start writing scripts and making films about things we know and have had personal experience of. I loved Amir Muhammad's "The Big Durian" because it was a funny and sharply-observed story about us. And Yuhang's "Min" touched me deeply because he portrayed the difficulties we have in communicating with each other sometimes, and he did it through such loving eyes. I know of one or two "indie" filmmakers here who are so enamoured by foreign directors like Tsai Mingliang, Hou Hsiao Hsien and Wong Karwai that all they do is try to duplicate the look these great directors achieve in their films. It all comes out hollow, of course. We may be able to make carbon copies of a "look", but feelings and pathos are a different thing altogether. They have to come from the heart and from our field of experience.
Q: What next. "Pekak"?
A: I hope you realise that you are about the 576th person to crack this little joke. Usually it's "Buta" or "Juling" or "Tempang", but yeah, "Pekak" is no less un-original. ;-) Anyway, next, hopefully, is "Gubra".
one of my church mem aka cell group mem aka great friend just left for Ipoh-his hometown. The place that he very fondly refers to as -the land flowing with milk and hoNey.. hmm guess everyone loves their roots. but this guy, is darn in love with it. cant blame him, that place is indeed a good place to live in for the rest of your life.
nyway, will always miss you kheng hoe. dont u even dare to forget us. As Moni wrote in the book we gave you, "we'll reach there soon"...so...beware.. *thunder & lightning*
it has been around 2 weeks since watching sepet. but what really kept be clinging on to is the kononnya 'philosophy' or the writer/director Pn Yasmin Ahmad. Her blog is on my Favourites list and i just cant seem to get enough of it... All her pieces have been my unspoken thoughts and undone actions.
i think in the nex few blogs, i would be posting extacts frm her work. Hope any of you that stumble into my blog would enjoy it. Now, iv finally found a passion. Not one that could take the place of Christ but, well, a natural one. I could say, apart from God, this whole big topic, plays an extreamly big role and has huge influence on my life.
Frm the blog- The Storyteller
Question: Is Sepet political?
Answer: I don't know. Is it? I can only tell you my intentions which were true and stated in my writer/director notes. If, by advocating the choosing of love over hate, I happen to touch on some political issues, then there it is. I don't care much for politics, and often have very little opinion about it, but I guess no one can fully escape it.
Q: Your director's note may say it's less about race and more a love story. But the cross-cultural juxtapositions, the tangential issues of ethnic perceptions raised throughout the movie AND the fact that you're trying to show racism is superficial, that the underlying problems are more about basic human weaknesses... isn't that political?
A: Hullo brudder, you just laid out a long list of HUMAN issues, and then asked me if it's POLITICAL. What gives? But to answer at least part of your question, I had to make it obvious at the beginning that these kids were of different races before I could ignore the fact with any degree of aplomb.
Q: Cinema, for an outsider, can seem to be a strange endeavour where lots of money (and it is a lot) is poured into a project, usually by people who are not exactly tycoons who could easily risk such sums, which is directed (and spent) by people whose abiding preoccupation is the artistic value of the project, and not whether they could make the money back. At least that's how it sounds like from an indie filmmaker. Why do you make films? Do you make films to make money? Do you make films to impress people? What is the filmmaker's responsibility - if you can call it that? Did you set out to make your films marketable, as one of the objectives, if not THE primary objective? What is the market for Sepet?
A: If you think you can become a millionaire by making films in a little country with a population of only 20 million people, you're either insane or on drugs. I make films because I feel I have some stories worth telling, about things I care about, to people that matter to me. I believe my responsibility is to tell that story as well as I can, creating as much pathos as I am able to. Whether or not a film makes money in this country, I think, is not the responsibility of the writer or director, but the people who put money behind the idea. I just write a story and try to make a film. They'll have to decide for themselves if my ideas are worth their financial backing. I can't decide for them.
Q: What did you learn from making Rabun that helped you in making Sepet?
A: I learned that if you rehearse and rehearse first-time actors, after a while they stop acting and start being themselves. That was a lovely discovery.
Q: How do you think local indie filmmakers can or should develop to the next level?
A: I urge some of us to start writing scripts and making films about things we know and have had personal experience of. I loved Amir Muhammad's "The Big Durian" because it was a funny and sharply-observed story about us. And Yuhang's "Min" touched me deeply because he portrayed the difficulties we have in communicating with each other sometimes, and he did it through such loving eyes. I know of one or two "indie" filmmakers here who are so enamoured by foreign directors like Tsai Mingliang, Hou Hsiao Hsien and Wong Karwai that all they do is try to duplicate the look these great directors achieve in their films. It all comes out hollow, of course. We may be able to make carbon copies of a "look", but feelings and pathos are a different thing altogether. They have to come from the heart and from our field of experience.
Q: What next. "Pekak"?
A: I hope you realise that you are about the 576th person to crack this little joke. Usually it's "Buta" or "Juling" or "Tempang", but yeah, "Pekak" is no less un-original. ;-) Anyway, next, hopefully, is "Gubra".
Friday, March 25, 2005
"you'r so blessed u know..?"
These were the words that came from my sis just a few minutes ago.
It all started when i was listening to some songs frm my PC.One of it was Dare You to Move -by Switchfoot which was also my caller ringtone. I wonder whether that phrase meant what it plainly was, or was there a hidden message, a little phrase that was meant to make me feel bad?
well its hard to say, because, thats what she normally loves to do. those one liners said out LOUD (literally) just to annoy, irritate, and sometimes make me feel very very bad. I know she hasnt had the best of things in life, exspecially when its bcoz shes staying with my parents which happen to be the MOST diffecult of people to live or even to have a simple conversation with without ending with huge disagreements. Be it any topic [b]at all[/b] !
i admit i am blessed. VERY Blessed in almost everyway. Years ago, I didnt think i would even have half the the stuff i have right now. It was also since years ago i have been asking God for something simple yet hard to find. [b]LOVE.[/b] Many other things too, like good friends,finace, and that i would not lack of any good thing. But it has been a very personal and urgent prayer need for a long time, and that is to be loved.
oh no.. it raining and thundering and lighteningning... got to leave. i'll add more 2mr la..
It all started when i was listening to some songs frm my PC.One of it was Dare You to Move -by Switchfoot which was also my caller ringtone. I wonder whether that phrase meant what it plainly was, or was there a hidden message, a little phrase that was meant to make me feel bad?
well its hard to say, because, thats what she normally loves to do. those one liners said out LOUD (literally) just to annoy, irritate, and sometimes make me feel very very bad. I know she hasnt had the best of things in life, exspecially when its bcoz shes staying with my parents which happen to be the MOST diffecult of people to live or even to have a simple conversation with without ending with huge disagreements. Be it any topic [b]at all[/b] !
i admit i am blessed. VERY Blessed in almost everyway. Years ago, I didnt think i would even have half the the stuff i have right now. It was also since years ago i have been asking God for something simple yet hard to find. [b]LOVE.[/b] Many other things too, like good friends,finace, and that i would not lack of any good thing. But it has been a very personal and urgent prayer need for a long time, and that is to be loved.
oh no.. it raining and thundering and lighteningning... got to leave. i'll add more 2mr la..
Thursday, March 24, 2005
The Enchanting Story Teller
i remember talking about love vs religion in my last post.OK.no use hiding anymore. i watched SEPET. TWICE last week. and still swimming in its plot and emotion ever since.
So,heres how i feel about Sepet: its the [b]MOST Enchanting[/b] ive seen in a very long time. It its director has successfully put on screen many things a lot of us often think about but and not say out loud. It is not only a long-awaited breakthrough for the Malsyain Film Industry, but also in the mindsets of the the rakyat.
i picked up the lasted issue of What's Up Wanita? at college this morning. and was especially delighted to see that the cover story was on Pn Yasmin Ahmad a.k.a. director and writer of Sepet. This women has truly broken the remaining 'great wall' that seemed to yet separated us from each other in the proudly claimed 'open-minded' Malaysia.
No doubt i love my country and all that is in it. But,until now, many other things have taken that first place in our hearts that should have always been [b][i] LOVE [/i][/b]. Yes, the word highly praised and spoken highly off in 1 Corinthians 13. It is often said but undone.It is often misused in many circumstanses for the profit of selfish desire. huhhh!
I just visited Pn.Yasmin's personal blog.Its truly truly enspiring and encouraging. Its controvercial, and not what any other melayu would agree in. But i love it. So heres some stuff that i found interesting:
Love On Trail
There were, if my memory serves me, 12 people in that viewing theatre.
Somewhere in the middle of "Sepet", a panel member who was nodding off at the back, was rudely awakened by the thud-thud-crash of his own songkok falling on the wooden floor. He bolted up, his severely thinning hair sticking out in all directions, looked around in slow-motion like a camel, picked up his songkok, slumped back into his seat, and went back to sleep.
As soon as the screening was over, the only woman in the appeal panel stood up, teary-eyed, and said, "Puan Yasmin, I enjoyed that film very much. Thank you both for making it. Congratulations."
My producer and I muttered under our breath, "Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah."
Next in line was a Chinese man in his 50's.
"That's not a Malay movie or a Chinese movie or an Indian movie," he declared, "That's a Malaysian movie."
Rosnah and I heaved a big sigh of relief. Clearly, we were counting our chickens before they were hatched, because from then onwards, it went downhill.
"Why didn't you bring up the issue of religion?"
"Why didn't she try to convert him? The Malays would have liked that."
"Why did you make her walk into a Chinese restaurant where non-halal food was probably served?"
"If she's supposed to be liberal, why did you make her wear baju kurung all the time?"
"A long time ago, the Malay people had two bad habits. The men liked to lie down on the floor wearing only sarongs, exposing their tummies, while the women liked to waste time picking lice from each other's hair. Are you trying to revive these old habits?"
And of course, their coup de grace, articulated by a Dato':
"We represent the rakyat (the people). We showed your film to some members of the rakyat, and I'm afraid the verdict was not favourable. They want your film stopped."
To which I replied, "My mother always tells me that my rezeki (my lot in life) is in the hands of Allah, and not in the hands of people like you or anyone else."
And on that note, Rosnah and I thanked them, and bade our farewell.
The final verdict has YET to be made. - Pn Yasmin Ahmad
More to come as i dig deeper into her blog. till next time.
So,heres how i feel about Sepet: its the [b]MOST Enchanting[/b] ive seen in a very long time. It its director has successfully put on screen many things a lot of us often think about but and not say out loud. It is not only a long-awaited breakthrough for the Malsyain Film Industry, but also in the mindsets of the the rakyat.
i picked up the lasted issue of What's Up Wanita? at college this morning. and was especially delighted to see that the cover story was on Pn Yasmin Ahmad a.k.a. director and writer of Sepet. This women has truly broken the remaining 'great wall' that seemed to yet separated us from each other in the proudly claimed 'open-minded' Malaysia.
No doubt i love my country and all that is in it. But,until now, many other things have taken that first place in our hearts that should have always been [b][i] LOVE [/i][/b]. Yes, the word highly praised and spoken highly off in 1 Corinthians 13. It is often said but undone.It is often misused in many circumstanses for the profit of selfish desire. huhhh!
I just visited Pn.Yasmin's personal blog.Its truly truly enspiring and encouraging. Its controvercial, and not what any other melayu would agree in. But i love it. So heres some stuff that i found interesting:
Love On Trail
There were, if my memory serves me, 12 people in that viewing theatre.
Somewhere in the middle of "Sepet", a panel member who was nodding off at the back, was rudely awakened by the thud-thud-crash of his own songkok falling on the wooden floor. He bolted up, his severely thinning hair sticking out in all directions, looked around in slow-motion like a camel, picked up his songkok, slumped back into his seat, and went back to sleep.
As soon as the screening was over, the only woman in the appeal panel stood up, teary-eyed, and said, "Puan Yasmin, I enjoyed that film very much. Thank you both for making it. Congratulations."
My producer and I muttered under our breath, "Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah."
Next in line was a Chinese man in his 50's.
"That's not a Malay movie or a Chinese movie or an Indian movie," he declared, "That's a Malaysian movie."
Rosnah and I heaved a big sigh of relief. Clearly, we were counting our chickens before they were hatched, because from then onwards, it went downhill.
"Why didn't you bring up the issue of religion?"
"Why didn't she try to convert him? The Malays would have liked that."
"Why did you make her walk into a Chinese restaurant where non-halal food was probably served?"
"If she's supposed to be liberal, why did you make her wear baju kurung all the time?"
"A long time ago, the Malay people had two bad habits. The men liked to lie down on the floor wearing only sarongs, exposing their tummies, while the women liked to waste time picking lice from each other's hair. Are you trying to revive these old habits?"
And of course, their coup de grace, articulated by a Dato':
"We represent the rakyat (the people). We showed your film to some members of the rakyat, and I'm afraid the verdict was not favourable. They want your film stopped."
To which I replied, "My mother always tells me that my rezeki (my lot in life) is in the hands of Allah, and not in the hands of people like you or anyone else."
And on that note, Rosnah and I thanked them, and bade our farewell.
The final verdict has YET to be made. - Pn Yasmin Ahmad
More to come as i dig deeper into her blog. till next time.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
no One is arounD
it has been quite a long time not blogging here. Many things have crept up. Multiple exams, homework piled as high as the heavens, many thoughts to settle, and many emotions to quiet down.
i watched MeetJoeBlack just now. mainly because it stars Brad Pitt.But little that i know, it reflected a lot on whats happening around me now. "How can you love someone that you dont know?" You dont know the person (as in very personally), yet you feel comepletely, head over heels in love. Theres never a minute in a day that passes without thinking about that person.
after watching another movie that talks about love vs race/religion , goshhh.. how many things could coincide all together at the same time? it all seems so simple and harmless.. other things just dont seem to matter al that much..you like who you like la.. but, thinking furthe and deeper, just cant help but wonder whether this is just another trap of the devil. God, if possible, i would like to love this person and be loved back.But, let not my will but Yours be done. Someone said, that if he would accept JC, then i would become a completely different story. I wonder how it will go.
i watched MeetJoeBlack just now. mainly because it stars Brad Pitt.But little that i know, it reflected a lot on whats happening around me now. "How can you love someone that you dont know?" You dont know the person (as in very personally), yet you feel comepletely, head over heels in love. Theres never a minute in a day that passes without thinking about that person.
after watching another movie that talks about love vs race/religion , goshhh.. how many things could coincide all together at the same time? it all seems so simple and harmless.. other things just dont seem to matter al that much..you like who you like la.. but, thinking furthe and deeper, just cant help but wonder whether this is just another trap of the devil. God, if possible, i would like to love this person and be loved back.But, let not my will but Yours be done. Someone said, that if he would accept JC, then i would become a completely different story. I wonder how it will go.
Monday, January 17, 2005
the question still is.. who am i??
today stated rather calm, altough together with all the asumptions that a BIG maths test was gonna take place at an freakin early 8.30am (a time when my mind is never where it should be)...and worriying that i wont be able to memorise all the formulas which i only sort of 'discovered' only 4days ago.. when i was announced that the test will be postponed to the following week..BOY! that was a HUGE relief~~~ phewWwWwW... that makes today...a VErY GoooOoooOD day..
However, when i finally 'wokeup' at around 11.00am onwards, it suddenly struck me thathat things has never been so peaceful in a very long time..days had never been so simple and easy to go about with in a long time..*i once thought..those days are gone mann* well, God just proved me very WRONG..
yeah yeah...the bible says God is the same..yesterday, today, and will forever be. "His mercy endures forever"..actually many many things in the bible was just .. well.. what God said.Yeahhhh n maybe sometimes it coincidates with the situation i was in..
But how many things could happen by chance??? You mean there can be so many cooincidences? So many good 'luck' times?
The only solution that really made sense, was that God was there. In every storm, every flood, every hurricane, every lanslide, in every boat, every car, every house, in the midst of everyone, & standing next to me.You see, it took me a petty long time to admit that.Maybe because i had not been really tested before. And when i was, God showed up, and turned my world around.
Just now, during QT, was worshipping to a song from Blessed :
[b]I will bless the Lord forever,i will trust Him at all times,
He has delivered me from all fear, He has set my feet upon a rock
I will NOT be moved, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need.
Whom have i in heaven but You?
There is none i desire besides You..
And you have made me glad, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need. [/b]
Father, You walked with me through the dakest storms, deepest seas, and the worst situations ,even with the most impossible people..All because You loved us.
I love You too!!
However, when i finally 'wokeup' at around 11.00am onwards, it suddenly struck me thathat things has never been so peaceful in a very long time..days had never been so simple and easy to go about with in a long time..*i once thought..those days are gone mann* well, God just proved me very WRONG..
yeah yeah...the bible says God is the same..yesterday, today, and will forever be. "His mercy endures forever"..actually many many things in the bible was just .. well.. what God said.Yeahhhh n maybe sometimes it coincidates with the situation i was in..
But how many things could happen by chance??? You mean there can be so many cooincidences? So many good 'luck' times?
The only solution that really made sense, was that God was there. In every storm, every flood, every hurricane, every lanslide, in every boat, every car, every house, in the midst of everyone, & standing next to me.You see, it took me a petty long time to admit that.Maybe because i had not been really tested before. And when i was, God showed up, and turned my world around.
Just now, during QT, was worshipping to a song from Blessed :
[b]I will bless the Lord forever,i will trust Him at all times,
He has delivered me from all fear, He has set my feet upon a rock
I will NOT be moved, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need.
Whom have i in heaven but You?
There is none i desire besides You..
And you have made me glad, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need. [/b]
Father, You walked with me through the dakest storms, deepest seas, and the worst situations ,even with the most impossible people..All because You loved us.
I love You too!!
Saturday, January 15, 2005
wow... havent seen a week pass SOOO fast before.. i regretted sucking in my maths test, which made me end up getting lecturer by our ULtinaMte maths lecturer.. malu lerrr.. how could i make such terribly careless mistakes??? God..U gotta help me, keep my alert, and add to my concentration during tests.. AS is in April, n that aint a very long time to go..We starter off the week with our Tsunami victisms' relief fund raising campaign, the second one we've organised since setting foot in Stamford PJ 6 months ago... Although it was freakin tiring, it was also very fullfilling.. Torn knuckles from washing cars?? Headaches from making pancakes?? haha its only the beginning..bt raising rm500 in 2days from food sales alone.. hmm pretty impressive.. thanks to the somewhat caring & daring(they trusted our sanitation) college staff and students.. now.. gonna do Trigo la.. Exam on monday.. i dont wanna have another lecturer from my maths lecturer..
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The Aftermath
It has been 10 days since the start or the new year 2005. There is a strong atmosphere of busyness, rush, scurrying, and seeing people all around me trying to keep up with time. The aftermath of the earthQuake in Aceh and the Tsunami that it triggered had brought 150,000 lives to an end and has ended 2004 itself on an alarming note. Lives are THAT fragile!! Fishermen that went out to sea did not return. Tourists that were sunbathing on the beach,ended up running for their lives..Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters
Lives are that fragile!! The starting of the new year began to see people of the world coming together as one, showing the kind love & support i have never seen or heard of before. People like, Michael "Shoemarker"..doing his bit with Euro 10 million, Japan's PM freezing all debts that d affected countries have with it, little
children..some even digging out their whole savings,celebrities sharing their earnings, and EVEN the disables giving their best. Altough
Lives are that fragile!! The starting of the new year began to see people of the world coming together as one, showing the kind love & support i have never seen or heard of before. People like, Michael "Shoemarker"..doing his bit with Euro 10 million, Japan's PM freezing all debts that d affected countries have with it, little
children..some even digging out their whole savings,celebrities sharing their earnings, and EVEN the disables giving their best. Altough
Saturday, January 01, 2005
2005..will be a green pasture.
Happy New Year!! to myself...muahaha i really wonder y isint anyone online now??!! Where have all the people gone? hehe i know its like what? 3am? BT still nevermind.. Just taken a break off Geometrical Progression. When nothing seems to make ANY sense at all anymore... just had to come out to chill.
I wonder what the year-end partiers are doing.. i wonder what the big concert organizers are doing.I wonde what other people aound d world are doing.. n i wonder what am I doing???
Its a weird time to blog la...4 one.N i sure aint gonna start about resolutions.Well..cont in da bighter part of the am la.. now.. a cuppa creamy nescafe and back to the books.. tryin to start 2005 on a more "rajin" (~ yeah rite!). kinda note..
God, have your way in me. Give me a passion for the lost and hungry for your spirit. This year will be different.
I wonder what the year-end partiers are doing.. i wonder what the big concert organizers are doing.I wonde what other people aound d world are doing.. n i wonder what am I doing???
Its a weird time to blog la...4 one.N i sure aint gonna start about resolutions.Well..cont in da bighter part of the am la.. now.. a cuppa creamy nescafe and back to the books.. tryin to start 2005 on a more "rajin" (~ yeah rite!). kinda note..
God, have your way in me. Give me a passion for the lost and hungry for your spirit. This year will be different.
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