awwww.. this is simply adorable!~~
actually found myself laughing my head off at the sight of this. This dog abviously seems like the man's best friend~
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Haha! a pleasant surprise.. and a passion
hhoho... didnt know that there actually were who did ''stumble' into dis place..cz i just noticed that there actually were comments to my posts.. muahahaa... boiling over with sampatness.. *bluEK*
one of my church mem aka cell group mem aka great friend just left for Ipoh-his hometown. The place that he very fondly refers to as -the land flowing with milk and hoNey.. hmm guess everyone loves their roots. but this guy, is darn in love with it. cant blame him, that place is indeed a good place to live in for the rest of your life.
nyway, will always miss you kheng hoe. dont u even dare to forget us. As Moni wrote in the book we gave you, "we'll reach there soon"...so...beware.. *thunder & lightning*
it has been around 2 weeks since watching sepet. but what really kept be clinging on to is the kononnya 'philosophy' or the writer/director Pn Yasmin Ahmad. Her blog is on my Favourites list and i just cant seem to get enough of it... All her pieces have been my unspoken thoughts and undone actions.
i think in the nex few blogs, i would be posting extacts frm her work. Hope any of you that stumble into my blog would enjoy it. Now, iv finally found a passion. Not one that could take the place of Christ but, well, a natural one. I could say, apart from God, this whole big topic, plays an extreamly big role and has huge influence on my life.
Frm the blog- The Storyteller
Question: Is Sepet political?
Answer: I don't know. Is it? I can only tell you my intentions which were true and stated in my writer/director notes. If, by advocating the choosing of love over hate, I happen to touch on some political issues, then there it is. I don't care much for politics, and often have very little opinion about it, but I guess no one can fully escape it.
Q: Your director's note may say it's less about race and more a love story. But the cross-cultural juxtapositions, the tangential issues of ethnic perceptions raised throughout the movie AND the fact that you're trying to show racism is superficial, that the underlying problems are more about basic human weaknesses... isn't that political?
A: Hullo brudder, you just laid out a long list of HUMAN issues, and then asked me if it's POLITICAL. What gives? But to answer at least part of your question, I had to make it obvious at the beginning that these kids were of different races before I could ignore the fact with any degree of aplomb.
Q: Cinema, for an outsider, can seem to be a strange endeavour where lots of money (and it is a lot) is poured into a project, usually by people who are not exactly tycoons who could easily risk such sums, which is directed (and spent) by people whose abiding preoccupation is the artistic value of the project, and not whether they could make the money back. At least that's how it sounds like from an indie filmmaker. Why do you make films? Do you make films to make money? Do you make films to impress people? What is the filmmaker's responsibility - if you can call it that? Did you set out to make your films marketable, as one of the objectives, if not THE primary objective? What is the market for Sepet?
A: If you think you can become a millionaire by making films in a little country with a population of only 20 million people, you're either insane or on drugs. I make films because I feel I have some stories worth telling, about things I care about, to people that matter to me. I believe my responsibility is to tell that story as well as I can, creating as much pathos as I am able to. Whether or not a film makes money in this country, I think, is not the responsibility of the writer or director, but the people who put money behind the idea. I just write a story and try to make a film. They'll have to decide for themselves if my ideas are worth their financial backing. I can't decide for them.
Q: What did you learn from making Rabun that helped you in making Sepet?
A: I learned that if you rehearse and rehearse first-time actors, after a while they stop acting and start being themselves. That was a lovely discovery.
Q: How do you think local indie filmmakers can or should develop to the next level?
A: I urge some of us to start writing scripts and making films about things we know and have had personal experience of. I loved Amir Muhammad's "The Big Durian" because it was a funny and sharply-observed story about us. And Yuhang's "Min" touched me deeply because he portrayed the difficulties we have in communicating with each other sometimes, and he did it through such loving eyes. I know of one or two "indie" filmmakers here who are so enamoured by foreign directors like Tsai Mingliang, Hou Hsiao Hsien and Wong Karwai that all they do is try to duplicate the look these great directors achieve in their films. It all comes out hollow, of course. We may be able to make carbon copies of a "look", but feelings and pathos are a different thing altogether. They have to come from the heart and from our field of experience.
Q: What next. "Pekak"?
A: I hope you realise that you are about the 576th person to crack this little joke. Usually it's "Buta" or "Juling" or "Tempang", but yeah, "Pekak" is no less un-original. ;-) Anyway, next, hopefully, is "Gubra".
one of my church mem aka cell group mem aka great friend just left for Ipoh-his hometown. The place that he very fondly refers to as -the land flowing with milk and hoNey.. hmm guess everyone loves their roots. but this guy, is darn in love with it. cant blame him, that place is indeed a good place to live in for the rest of your life.
nyway, will always miss you kheng hoe. dont u even dare to forget us. As Moni wrote in the book we gave you, "we'll reach there soon"...so...beware.. *thunder & lightning*
it has been around 2 weeks since watching sepet. but what really kept be clinging on to is the kononnya 'philosophy' or the writer/director Pn Yasmin Ahmad. Her blog is on my Favourites list and i just cant seem to get enough of it... All her pieces have been my unspoken thoughts and undone actions.
i think in the nex few blogs, i would be posting extacts frm her work. Hope any of you that stumble into my blog would enjoy it. Now, iv finally found a passion. Not one that could take the place of Christ but, well, a natural one. I could say, apart from God, this whole big topic, plays an extreamly big role and has huge influence on my life.
Frm the blog- The Storyteller
Question: Is Sepet political?
Answer: I don't know. Is it? I can only tell you my intentions which were true and stated in my writer/director notes. If, by advocating the choosing of love over hate, I happen to touch on some political issues, then there it is. I don't care much for politics, and often have very little opinion about it, but I guess no one can fully escape it.
Q: Your director's note may say it's less about race and more a love story. But the cross-cultural juxtapositions, the tangential issues of ethnic perceptions raised throughout the movie AND the fact that you're trying to show racism is superficial, that the underlying problems are more about basic human weaknesses... isn't that political?
A: Hullo brudder, you just laid out a long list of HUMAN issues, and then asked me if it's POLITICAL. What gives? But to answer at least part of your question, I had to make it obvious at the beginning that these kids were of different races before I could ignore the fact with any degree of aplomb.
Q: Cinema, for an outsider, can seem to be a strange endeavour where lots of money (and it is a lot) is poured into a project, usually by people who are not exactly tycoons who could easily risk such sums, which is directed (and spent) by people whose abiding preoccupation is the artistic value of the project, and not whether they could make the money back. At least that's how it sounds like from an indie filmmaker. Why do you make films? Do you make films to make money? Do you make films to impress people? What is the filmmaker's responsibility - if you can call it that? Did you set out to make your films marketable, as one of the objectives, if not THE primary objective? What is the market for Sepet?
A: If you think you can become a millionaire by making films in a little country with a population of only 20 million people, you're either insane or on drugs. I make films because I feel I have some stories worth telling, about things I care about, to people that matter to me. I believe my responsibility is to tell that story as well as I can, creating as much pathos as I am able to. Whether or not a film makes money in this country, I think, is not the responsibility of the writer or director, but the people who put money behind the idea. I just write a story and try to make a film. They'll have to decide for themselves if my ideas are worth their financial backing. I can't decide for them.
Q: What did you learn from making Rabun that helped you in making Sepet?
A: I learned that if you rehearse and rehearse first-time actors, after a while they stop acting and start being themselves. That was a lovely discovery.
Q: How do you think local indie filmmakers can or should develop to the next level?
A: I urge some of us to start writing scripts and making films about things we know and have had personal experience of. I loved Amir Muhammad's "The Big Durian" because it was a funny and sharply-observed story about us. And Yuhang's "Min" touched me deeply because he portrayed the difficulties we have in communicating with each other sometimes, and he did it through such loving eyes. I know of one or two "indie" filmmakers here who are so enamoured by foreign directors like Tsai Mingliang, Hou Hsiao Hsien and Wong Karwai that all they do is try to duplicate the look these great directors achieve in their films. It all comes out hollow, of course. We may be able to make carbon copies of a "look", but feelings and pathos are a different thing altogether. They have to come from the heart and from our field of experience.
Q: What next. "Pekak"?
A: I hope you realise that you are about the 576th person to crack this little joke. Usually it's "Buta" or "Juling" or "Tempang", but yeah, "Pekak" is no less un-original. ;-) Anyway, next, hopefully, is "Gubra".
Friday, March 25, 2005
"you'r so blessed u know..?"
These were the words that came from my sis just a few minutes ago.
It all started when i was listening to some songs frm my PC.One of it was Dare You to Move -by Switchfoot which was also my caller ringtone. I wonder whether that phrase meant what it plainly was, or was there a hidden message, a little phrase that was meant to make me feel bad?
well its hard to say, because, thats what she normally loves to do. those one liners said out LOUD (literally) just to annoy, irritate, and sometimes make me feel very very bad. I know she hasnt had the best of things in life, exspecially when its bcoz shes staying with my parents which happen to be the MOST diffecult of people to live or even to have a simple conversation with without ending with huge disagreements. Be it any topic [b]at all[/b] !
i admit i am blessed. VERY Blessed in almost everyway. Years ago, I didnt think i would even have half the the stuff i have right now. It was also since years ago i have been asking God for something simple yet hard to find. [b]LOVE.[/b] Many other things too, like good friends,finace, and that i would not lack of any good thing. But it has been a very personal and urgent prayer need for a long time, and that is to be loved.
oh no.. it raining and thundering and lighteningning... got to leave. i'll add more 2mr la..
It all started when i was listening to some songs frm my PC.One of it was Dare You to Move -by Switchfoot which was also my caller ringtone. I wonder whether that phrase meant what it plainly was, or was there a hidden message, a little phrase that was meant to make me feel bad?
well its hard to say, because, thats what she normally loves to do. those one liners said out LOUD (literally) just to annoy, irritate, and sometimes make me feel very very bad. I know she hasnt had the best of things in life, exspecially when its bcoz shes staying with my parents which happen to be the MOST diffecult of people to live or even to have a simple conversation with without ending with huge disagreements. Be it any topic [b]at all[/b] !
i admit i am blessed. VERY Blessed in almost everyway. Years ago, I didnt think i would even have half the the stuff i have right now. It was also since years ago i have been asking God for something simple yet hard to find. [b]LOVE.[/b] Many other things too, like good friends,finace, and that i would not lack of any good thing. But it has been a very personal and urgent prayer need for a long time, and that is to be loved.
oh no.. it raining and thundering and lighteningning... got to leave. i'll add more 2mr la..
Thursday, March 24, 2005
The Enchanting Story Teller
i remember talking about love vs religion in my last post.OK.no use hiding anymore. i watched SEPET. TWICE last week. and still swimming in its plot and emotion ever since.
So,heres how i feel about Sepet: its the [b]MOST Enchanting[/b] ive seen in a very long time. It its director has successfully put on screen many things a lot of us often think about but and not say out loud. It is not only a long-awaited breakthrough for the Malsyain Film Industry, but also in the mindsets of the the rakyat.
i picked up the lasted issue of What's Up Wanita? at college this morning. and was especially delighted to see that the cover story was on Pn Yasmin Ahmad a.k.a. director and writer of Sepet. This women has truly broken the remaining 'great wall' that seemed to yet separated us from each other in the proudly claimed 'open-minded' Malaysia.
No doubt i love my country and all that is in it. But,until now, many other things have taken that first place in our hearts that should have always been [b][i] LOVE [/i][/b]. Yes, the word highly praised and spoken highly off in 1 Corinthians 13. It is often said but undone.It is often misused in many circumstanses for the profit of selfish desire. huhhh!
I just visited Pn.Yasmin's personal blog.Its truly truly enspiring and encouraging. Its controvercial, and not what any other melayu would agree in. But i love it. So heres some stuff that i found interesting:
Love On Trail
There were, if my memory serves me, 12 people in that viewing theatre.
Somewhere in the middle of "Sepet", a panel member who was nodding off at the back, was rudely awakened by the thud-thud-crash of his own songkok falling on the wooden floor. He bolted up, his severely thinning hair sticking out in all directions, looked around in slow-motion like a camel, picked up his songkok, slumped back into his seat, and went back to sleep.
As soon as the screening was over, the only woman in the appeal panel stood up, teary-eyed, and said, "Puan Yasmin, I enjoyed that film very much. Thank you both for making it. Congratulations."
My producer and I muttered under our breath, "Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah."
Next in line was a Chinese man in his 50's.
"That's not a Malay movie or a Chinese movie or an Indian movie," he declared, "That's a Malaysian movie."
Rosnah and I heaved a big sigh of relief. Clearly, we were counting our chickens before they were hatched, because from then onwards, it went downhill.
"Why didn't you bring up the issue of religion?"
"Why didn't she try to convert him? The Malays would have liked that."
"Why did you make her walk into a Chinese restaurant where non-halal food was probably served?"
"If she's supposed to be liberal, why did you make her wear baju kurung all the time?"
"A long time ago, the Malay people had two bad habits. The men liked to lie down on the floor wearing only sarongs, exposing their tummies, while the women liked to waste time picking lice from each other's hair. Are you trying to revive these old habits?"
And of course, their coup de grace, articulated by a Dato':
"We represent the rakyat (the people). We showed your film to some members of the rakyat, and I'm afraid the verdict was not favourable. They want your film stopped."
To which I replied, "My mother always tells me that my rezeki (my lot in life) is in the hands of Allah, and not in the hands of people like you or anyone else."
And on that note, Rosnah and I thanked them, and bade our farewell.
The final verdict has YET to be made. - Pn Yasmin Ahmad
More to come as i dig deeper into her blog. till next time.
So,heres how i feel about Sepet: its the [b]MOST Enchanting[/b] ive seen in a very long time. It its director has successfully put on screen many things a lot of us often think about but and not say out loud. It is not only a long-awaited breakthrough for the Malsyain Film Industry, but also in the mindsets of the the rakyat.
i picked up the lasted issue of What's Up Wanita? at college this morning. and was especially delighted to see that the cover story was on Pn Yasmin Ahmad a.k.a. director and writer of Sepet. This women has truly broken the remaining 'great wall' that seemed to yet separated us from each other in the proudly claimed 'open-minded' Malaysia.
No doubt i love my country and all that is in it. But,until now, many other things have taken that first place in our hearts that should have always been [b][i] LOVE [/i][/b]. Yes, the word highly praised and spoken highly off in 1 Corinthians 13. It is often said but undone.It is often misused in many circumstanses for the profit of selfish desire. huhhh!
I just visited Pn.Yasmin's personal blog.Its truly truly enspiring and encouraging. Its controvercial, and not what any other melayu would agree in. But i love it. So heres some stuff that i found interesting:
Love On Trail
There were, if my memory serves me, 12 people in that viewing theatre.
Somewhere in the middle of "Sepet", a panel member who was nodding off at the back, was rudely awakened by the thud-thud-crash of his own songkok falling on the wooden floor. He bolted up, his severely thinning hair sticking out in all directions, looked around in slow-motion like a camel, picked up his songkok, slumped back into his seat, and went back to sleep.
As soon as the screening was over, the only woman in the appeal panel stood up, teary-eyed, and said, "Puan Yasmin, I enjoyed that film very much. Thank you both for making it. Congratulations."
My producer and I muttered under our breath, "Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah."
Next in line was a Chinese man in his 50's.
"That's not a Malay movie or a Chinese movie or an Indian movie," he declared, "That's a Malaysian movie."
Rosnah and I heaved a big sigh of relief. Clearly, we were counting our chickens before they were hatched, because from then onwards, it went downhill.
"Why didn't you bring up the issue of religion?"
"Why didn't she try to convert him? The Malays would have liked that."
"Why did you make her walk into a Chinese restaurant where non-halal food was probably served?"
"If she's supposed to be liberal, why did you make her wear baju kurung all the time?"
"A long time ago, the Malay people had two bad habits. The men liked to lie down on the floor wearing only sarongs, exposing their tummies, while the women liked to waste time picking lice from each other's hair. Are you trying to revive these old habits?"
And of course, their coup de grace, articulated by a Dato':
"We represent the rakyat (the people). We showed your film to some members of the rakyat, and I'm afraid the verdict was not favourable. They want your film stopped."
To which I replied, "My mother always tells me that my rezeki (my lot in life) is in the hands of Allah, and not in the hands of people like you or anyone else."
And on that note, Rosnah and I thanked them, and bade our farewell.
The final verdict has YET to be made. - Pn Yasmin Ahmad
More to come as i dig deeper into her blog. till next time.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
no One is arounD
it has been quite a long time not blogging here. Many things have crept up. Multiple exams, homework piled as high as the heavens, many thoughts to settle, and many emotions to quiet down.
i watched MeetJoeBlack just now. mainly because it stars Brad Pitt.But little that i know, it reflected a lot on whats happening around me now. "How can you love someone that you dont know?" You dont know the person (as in very personally), yet you feel comepletely, head over heels in love. Theres never a minute in a day that passes without thinking about that person.
after watching another movie that talks about love vs race/religion , goshhh.. how many things could coincide all together at the same time? it all seems so simple and harmless.. other things just dont seem to matter al that much..you like who you like la.. but, thinking furthe and deeper, just cant help but wonder whether this is just another trap of the devil. God, if possible, i would like to love this person and be loved back.But, let not my will but Yours be done. Someone said, that if he would accept JC, then i would become a completely different story. I wonder how it will go.
i watched MeetJoeBlack just now. mainly because it stars Brad Pitt.But little that i know, it reflected a lot on whats happening around me now. "How can you love someone that you dont know?" You dont know the person (as in very personally), yet you feel comepletely, head over heels in love. Theres never a minute in a day that passes without thinking about that person.
after watching another movie that talks about love vs race/religion , goshhh.. how many things could coincide all together at the same time? it all seems so simple and harmless.. other things just dont seem to matter al that much..you like who you like la.. but, thinking furthe and deeper, just cant help but wonder whether this is just another trap of the devil. God, if possible, i would like to love this person and be loved back.But, let not my will but Yours be done. Someone said, that if he would accept JC, then i would become a completely different story. I wonder how it will go.
Monday, January 17, 2005
the question still is.. who am i??
today stated rather calm, altough together with all the asumptions that a BIG maths test was gonna take place at an freakin early 8.30am (a time when my mind is never where it should be)...and worriying that i wont be able to memorise all the formulas which i only sort of 'discovered' only 4days ago.. when i was announced that the test will be postponed to the following week..BOY! that was a HUGE relief~~~ phewWwWwW... that makes today...a VErY GoooOoooOD day..
However, when i finally 'wokeup' at around 11.00am onwards, it suddenly struck me thathat things has never been so peaceful in a very long time..days had never been so simple and easy to go about with in a long time..*i once thought..those days are gone mann* well, God just proved me very WRONG..
yeah yeah...the bible says God is the same..yesterday, today, and will forever be. "His mercy endures forever"..actually many many things in the bible was just .. well.. what God said.Yeahhhh n maybe sometimes it coincidates with the situation i was in..
But how many things could happen by chance??? You mean there can be so many cooincidences? So many good 'luck' times?
The only solution that really made sense, was that God was there. In every storm, every flood, every hurricane, every lanslide, in every boat, every car, every house, in the midst of everyone, & standing next to me.You see, it took me a petty long time to admit that.Maybe because i had not been really tested before. And when i was, God showed up, and turned my world around.
Just now, during QT, was worshipping to a song from Blessed :
[b]I will bless the Lord forever,i will trust Him at all times,
He has delivered me from all fear, He has set my feet upon a rock
I will NOT be moved, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need.
Whom have i in heaven but You?
There is none i desire besides You..
And you have made me glad, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need. [/b]
Father, You walked with me through the dakest storms, deepest seas, and the worst situations ,even with the most impossible people..All because You loved us.
I love You too!!
However, when i finally 'wokeup' at around 11.00am onwards, it suddenly struck me thathat things has never been so peaceful in a very long time..days had never been so simple and easy to go about with in a long time..*i once thought..those days are gone mann* well, God just proved me very WRONG..
yeah yeah...the bible says God is the same..yesterday, today, and will forever be. "His mercy endures forever"..actually many many things in the bible was just .. well.. what God said.Yeahhhh n maybe sometimes it coincidates with the situation i was in..
But how many things could happen by chance??? You mean there can be so many cooincidences? So many good 'luck' times?
The only solution that really made sense, was that God was there. In every storm, every flood, every hurricane, every lanslide, in every boat, every car, every house, in the midst of everyone, & standing next to me.You see, it took me a petty long time to admit that.Maybe because i had not been really tested before. And when i was, God showed up, and turned my world around.
Just now, during QT, was worshipping to a song from Blessed :
[b]I will bless the Lord forever,i will trust Him at all times,
He has delivered me from all fear, He has set my feet upon a rock
I will NOT be moved, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need.
Whom have i in heaven but You?
There is none i desire besides You..
And you have made me glad, & i'll say of the Lord
You are my shield, my strength, my potion, deliverer;
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need. [/b]
Father, You walked with me through the dakest storms, deepest seas, and the worst situations ,even with the most impossible people..All because You loved us.
I love You too!!
Saturday, January 15, 2005
wow... havent seen a week pass SOOO fast before.. i regretted sucking in my maths test, which made me end up getting lecturer by our ULtinaMte maths lecturer.. malu lerrr.. how could i make such terribly careless mistakes??? God..U gotta help me, keep my alert, and add to my concentration during tests.. AS is in April, n that aint a very long time to go..We starter off the week with our Tsunami victisms' relief fund raising campaign, the second one we've organised since setting foot in Stamford PJ 6 months ago... Although it was freakin tiring, it was also very fullfilling.. Torn knuckles from washing cars?? Headaches from making pancakes?? haha its only the beginning..bt raising rm500 in 2days from food sales alone.. hmm pretty impressive.. thanks to the somewhat caring & daring(they trusted our sanitation) college staff and students.. now.. gonna do Trigo la.. Exam on monday.. i dont wanna have another lecturer from my maths lecturer..
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The Aftermath
It has been 10 days since the start or the new year 2005. There is a strong atmosphere of busyness, rush, scurrying, and seeing people all around me trying to keep up with time. The aftermath of the earthQuake in Aceh and the Tsunami that it triggered had brought 150,000 lives to an end and has ended 2004 itself on an alarming note. Lives are THAT fragile!! Fishermen that went out to sea did not return. Tourists that were sunbathing on the beach,ended up running for their lives..Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters
Lives are that fragile!! The starting of the new year began to see people of the world coming together as one, showing the kind love & support i have never seen or heard of before. People like, Michael "Shoemarker"..doing his bit with Euro 10 million, Japan's PM freezing all debts that d affected countries have with it, little
children..some even digging out their whole savings,celebrities sharing their earnings, and EVEN the disables giving their best. Altough
Lives are that fragile!! The starting of the new year began to see people of the world coming together as one, showing the kind love & support i have never seen or heard of before. People like, Michael "Shoemarker"..doing his bit with Euro 10 million, Japan's PM freezing all debts that d affected countries have with it, little
children..some even digging out their whole savings,celebrities sharing their earnings, and EVEN the disables giving their best. Altough
Saturday, January 01, 2005
2005..will be a green pasture.
Happy New Year!! to myself...muahaha i really wonder y isint anyone online now??!! Where have all the people gone? hehe i know its like what? 3am? BT still nevermind.. Just taken a break off Geometrical Progression. When nothing seems to make ANY sense at all anymore... just had to come out to chill.
I wonder what the year-end partiers are doing.. i wonder what the big concert organizers are doing.I wonde what other people aound d world are doing.. n i wonder what am I doing???
Its a weird time to blog la...4 one.N i sure aint gonna start about resolutions.Well..cont in da bighter part of the am la.. now.. a cuppa creamy nescafe and back to the books.. tryin to start 2005 on a more "rajin" (~ yeah rite!). kinda note..
God, have your way in me. Give me a passion for the lost and hungry for your spirit. This year will be different.
I wonder what the year-end partiers are doing.. i wonder what the big concert organizers are doing.I wonde what other people aound d world are doing.. n i wonder what am I doing???
Its a weird time to blog la...4 one.N i sure aint gonna start about resolutions.Well..cont in da bighter part of the am la.. now.. a cuppa creamy nescafe and back to the books.. tryin to start 2005 on a more "rajin" (~ yeah rite!). kinda note..
God, have your way in me. Give me a passion for the lost and hungry for your spirit. This year will be different.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Silent Night.
26th december 2004. yea, the day afte Christmas.But other than that ?Sounds just like another ordinary day to me.. Well, God had defenately woke the world up from its "Christmas night sweet dream".. A bright and sunday morning, pagans were normally alsleep while christians got ready for church.
Little did anyone know, that the ground declared war against each other. They fought with all their might, and shook the earth and the sea above them. Tourists were sun bathing, picknickers were feasting, fisherman were drying their nets, some just coming back from the sea, others still out there..kids were building sand castles, the locals were sleeping in. Some life guards scanning the ocean figured that there was something different about the way the sea looked. OKla.. maybe just for name sake, lets warn the happy people that later bacame not so happy to keep their distance from the sea shore.
A few minutes later, these life guards became saviours. The ground beneath Aceh, Indonesia shook , spilt and swallowed up the whole city!! Its brother, chose to shake under da sea...which later then created gigantic tides and became a tsunami as it reached the shore line. 30meter high walls of water came crashing down from the sea.It came upon Indonesia,Sri lanka, India, Thailand, Africa, the Maldieves and yess..Malaysia, it reached out, it destroyed anything that stood in its way, it drowned a 100,000 of mankind and it went home. These 100,000 fragile lives....taken. But with a reason.
"For nations will rise against nation,and kingdom against kingdome.And there will be famine, and earthquakes in various places.But all these are just the beginning of sorrows" Matt 24:7
"And there will be signs in the sun,moon and in the stars; and on earth destress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaing; men's hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken." Luke 21:25-26
Little did anyone know, that the ground declared war against each other. They fought with all their might, and shook the earth and the sea above them. Tourists were sun bathing, picknickers were feasting, fisherman were drying their nets, some just coming back from the sea, others still out there..kids were building sand castles, the locals were sleeping in. Some life guards scanning the ocean figured that there was something different about the way the sea looked. OKla.. maybe just for name sake, lets warn the happy people that later bacame not so happy to keep their distance from the sea shore.
A few minutes later, these life guards became saviours. The ground beneath Aceh, Indonesia shook , spilt and swallowed up the whole city!! Its brother, chose to shake under da sea...which later then created gigantic tides and became a tsunami as it reached the shore line. 30meter high walls of water came crashing down from the sea.It came upon Indonesia,Sri lanka, India, Thailand, Africa, the Maldieves and yess..Malaysia, it reached out, it destroyed anything that stood in its way, it drowned a 100,000 of mankind and it went home. These 100,000 fragile lives....taken. But with a reason.
"For nations will rise against nation,and kingdom against kingdome.And there will be famine, and earthquakes in various places.But all these are just the beginning of sorrows" Matt 24:7
"And there will be signs in the sun,moon and in the stars; and on earth destress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaing; men's hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken." Luke 21:25-26
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Was Santa really coming to town?
"Silver bells....silver bells...its Chirstmas time in the city...Ring-a-ling...hear them ring..soon it will be Christmas day!!" This Christmas album is an ancient casette which is my family's collection since more than 20 year back.. I've grown up with these songs...which the likes of Barbara Streisand,Andy Williams,The Ray Conniff Singers, Johnny Cash,Frank Sinatra,PattiPage,Jim Nabors,Elvis Presley,Robert Goulet,NatKing Cole, Kenny Rogers, Jerry Vale, Lionel Richie,and....okok....kk... this has no end. Me also an oldies (preferbaly ...60's) fan...those were darn romactic pieces.. bt... does not necesssarily carry true love..God's kind of love.
Anyway, Christmas for me.. since a child, was a season of getting LOADS of prezzies.. thanks to the aunts, uncles,grdmas and ever so loving grand aunts.. its also when we write letters to Santa telling him what we want this year.. in standard one..i remembered asking him 4 2 front teeth that fell off during the year.. ohh goshhh! other requests were like...Rapunzel Barbie, Egyption Barbie, Prince Ken, a My Little Pony video tape, a Jem And The Holigrams series, the Pink lace dress in the shop the other day, the silver kitten heels shoes, a pair roller blades, a civilised kid to sit beside me next year...(yes, i did hav weird ppl in class), the hair band with the fuzzie halo attached, ohh yess!! and a BraveHeart bear ( from the care bears)!!!
Kids had to go to bed early on Christmas Eve. So that Santa could drop by to put the presents under the tree.. HAHAHAHA and one more thing...We had to put a huge mug of Ribena and cookies out in the hall for the tired Santa! so that he could have a bite or two before continuing his journey to other homes..haha in the end i found out that it was my uncle who ate and drank the stuff..n tricked me into believing that Santa really came!! We also had 3 stockings hung on the wall...so that if there werent enuff place under the tree, Santa could put it into the stockings... once my aunt said she heard bells ringing outside the house.. n saw a group of deers outside.. n also head a huge thud in living room..n sed that Santa could become invisible and slid into the house by walking thru the glass door!!!!~~
These....were things that gave me thrills and excitement wen i was a kid.. i guess many other kids thought the same as well... THANKS to the extreamly imaginative adults..!
The year i became suspicious was when i was 6years old..n soon discovered that it was all hoax. It was rathe dissapointing..but was also encouraged that i was smart enuff to catch my uncle eating the cookies i left during the night.. ( i set of on a quest ..to sneek up on Santa to see how he actually looked like..n well..he was big...round tummy..bt black..coz it was my uncle)... This was the Christmas a long time ago..
Anyway, Christmas for me.. since a child, was a season of getting LOADS of prezzies.. thanks to the aunts, uncles,grdmas and ever so loving grand aunts.. its also when we write letters to Santa telling him what we want this year.. in standard one..i remembered asking him 4 2 front teeth that fell off during the year.. ohh goshhh! other requests were like...Rapunzel Barbie, Egyption Barbie, Prince Ken, a My Little Pony video tape, a Jem And The Holigrams series, the Pink lace dress in the shop the other day, the silver kitten heels shoes, a pair roller blades, a civilised kid to sit beside me next year...(yes, i did hav weird ppl in class), the hair band with the fuzzie halo attached, ohh yess!! and a BraveHeart bear ( from the care bears)!!!
Kids had to go to bed early on Christmas Eve. So that Santa could drop by to put the presents under the tree.. HAHAHAHA and one more thing...We had to put a huge mug of Ribena and cookies out in the hall for the tired Santa! so that he could have a bite or two before continuing his journey to other homes..haha in the end i found out that it was my uncle who ate and drank the stuff..n tricked me into believing that Santa really came!! We also had 3 stockings hung on the wall...so that if there werent enuff place under the tree, Santa could put it into the stockings... once my aunt said she heard bells ringing outside the house.. n saw a group of deers outside.. n also head a huge thud in living room..n sed that Santa could become invisible and slid into the house by walking thru the glass door!!!!~~
These....were things that gave me thrills and excitement wen i was a kid.. i guess many other kids thought the same as well... THANKS to the extreamly imaginative adults..!
The year i became suspicious was when i was 6years old..n soon discovered that it was all hoax. It was rathe dissapointing..but was also encouraged that i was smart enuff to catch my uncle eating the cookies i left during the night.. ( i set of on a quest ..to sneek up on Santa to see how he actually looked like..n well..he was big...round tummy..bt black..coz it was my uncle)... This was the Christmas a long time ago..
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
The bad.The good.& what God thinks about it.
havent been here in some time.. lots of stuff have been happening in the pass 1 week.. confusing, dissapointing, saddening, worriying, discouaging...gotla those that are weirdly interesting,mind boggling, fulfilling,out of this world, crappy, edifiying and most of all mind-changing.
It all started at the started of the Deepa-Raya celebrations collaborating with a fund raiser for poor kids in Sudan.Honestly, i wasnt being myself for a whole 2/3 weeks & started to grow freaking tired and bored of living life like a total rutein..& when things dont go the way i planned...things unplanned comin up...people who dont act the way they shud... people who in a way dey shudnt... and the list will never end. Also started speaking and crapping like never before..& getting aggitated & freaking irritated whenever a lil thing seemed out of place.
People around me have indeed felt,sensed, and pointed it out..What went wrong?
Someone quoted: When you feel like God seems further away, guess who moved?
How many times of recomitting myself back to God do i need to get myself right? Suddenly..surrending myself at the altar ..wanting so desperately to be broken and tansformed...didnt do much good.. Or did i do wholeheatedly..or just selfishly wanting a change ?..just to feel better.
But..u see.I know whats wrong and why its going wrong.. I also know exactly what to do...but just too lazy to do it.. Is there such a thing as a Mental Honeymoon..?
At the end of it..is there any other way other than Gods very own spoken words to turn to..? Iv 4gotten..4 a period of time..that I ..MESELF actually had a living God living rite inside of me..
Jesus says that we shoud speak to the situation, not about them..
Iv also underestimated the power of spoken words,speech and idle talk.. Wait!~ Didnt i make a committment 2 put that away long ago.. cant believe it slowly..veeery slowly..crept back in..like a thief in the night..
Coz whatever we say can either MAKE or BREAK the atmosphere...
hahah lookin back... how much of time,energy,& brains iv wasted worriying,thinking too hard on worthtless things..
But on the brighter side of it, i wudnt have known what were my weakest points..n wer n how that devil slipped in..
Ps.Kenneth reminded me. WE are the atmosphere builders.WE change situations around. Also..
The essence of leadeship: Seek to understand.Then, to be understood.
It all started at the started of the Deepa-Raya celebrations collaborating with a fund raiser for poor kids in Sudan.Honestly, i wasnt being myself for a whole 2/3 weeks & started to grow freaking tired and bored of living life like a total rutein..& when things dont go the way i planned...things unplanned comin up...people who dont act the way they shud... people who in a way dey shudnt... and the list will never end. Also started speaking and crapping like never before..& getting aggitated & freaking irritated whenever a lil thing seemed out of place.
People around me have indeed felt,sensed, and pointed it out..What went wrong?
Someone quoted: When you feel like God seems further away, guess who moved?
How many times of recomitting myself back to God do i need to get myself right? Suddenly..surrending myself at the altar ..wanting so desperately to be broken and tansformed...didnt do much good.. Or did i do wholeheatedly..or just selfishly wanting a change ?..just to feel better.
But..u see.I know whats wrong and why its going wrong.. I also know exactly what to do...but just too lazy to do it.. Is there such a thing as a Mental Honeymoon..?
At the end of it..is there any other way other than Gods very own spoken words to turn to..? Iv 4gotten..4 a period of time..that I ..MESELF actually had a living God living rite inside of me..
Jesus says that we shoud speak to the situation, not about them..
Iv also underestimated the power of spoken words,speech and idle talk.. Wait!~ Didnt i make a committment 2 put that away long ago.. cant believe it slowly..veeery slowly..crept back in..like a thief in the night..
Coz whatever we say can either MAKE or BREAK the atmosphere...
hahah lookin back... how much of time,energy,& brains iv wasted worriying,thinking too hard on worthtless things..
But on the brighter side of it, i wudnt have known what were my weakest points..n wer n how that devil slipped in..
Ps.Kenneth reminded me. WE are the atmosphere builders.WE change situations around. Also..
The essence of leadeship: Seek to understand.Then, to be understood.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Who Am I
Who Am I ??
Who am i..? That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am i..?That the bright morning star
Would care to light the way
Of my ever wondering heart
Not Because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who you are..
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean,vapour in th wind
Still you hear me when im calling
Lord you catch me when im falling
And told me who i am..
I am Yours.
Who am i..?That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And see me rise again
Who am i..?That the voice that calm the seas
Would call out though the rain
And calm the storms in me.
Not because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who You are.
----------------------------------------------
Thank you Father..for everything.
Who am i..? That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am i..?That the bright morning star
Would care to light the way
Of my ever wondering heart
Not Because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who you are..
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean,vapour in th wind
Still you hear me when im calling
Lord you catch me when im falling
And told me who i am..
I am Yours.
Who am i..?That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And see me rise again
Who am i..?That the voice that calm the seas
Would call out though the rain
And calm the storms in me.
Not because of who i am.
But because of what you've done
Not because of what i've done
But because of who You are.
----------------------------------------------
Thank you Father..for everything.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Sweet Surrender
HUH! almost had this post done last night..when half way thru my PC kena hang..wuz like shiZZle!! mahnn!
Nvm. *sigh*
We had our 1st class with our new chemistry lecturer.goodbye Ms.Aneela. *tsk tsk tsk* But to think of it..what a waste of 4 whole months..Had a SOLID 2 hours on tutorials & another 2 on titration.Chemistry class never felt sooo fulfilling 4 a long time..Tho we are goin to have to start from scratch..Chap 1 Atoms,Molecule & Stokiometry ..but..All the better rite? Get to build a stronger foundation..or am i just comforting myself?? I do appreciate the watever effort she has put into improving herself. But it just wasnt enuff. After having 1 full lecture on the 1st topic, is when we realised how far backwards and left behind we actually were. well, i did ask God for a new lecturer ASAP..so..thank you Lord!
I never really had the patience & consistancy to write a diary last time. there were ones that lasted me 1 year the most. Let alone a blog.But i guess cz blogs are more easily accessible..So,this time..i dare myself to keep this up until i break my last record 1 year..muahaha..sesat la..
Few weeks back when i stumbled accross my old diary..Reading the stuff i had written when i was in form 3.. haha it was hilarious..!~ Talk about childish ways.. Well, i guess it just shows how much you have grown over the years..maturing in spirit,soul & body.
Again,about presbytery night at MTI tonight.Ps David did things quite differently this time. He divided the whole congregation into 2 groups..MTI foreign participants on 1 side & WorldHarvestChurch members on the other. Ps William frm KK was to pray for us.WHC mems were also divided into : normal church members, M21cell ,M22cell and assistant pastors.
God was soooo very real.The air was different.It carried a certain supernatural kinda weight..It was God's very own presence together with the Holy Spirit hovering over the crowd.Those who were waiting to be prayed for, had similar gestures , an eagerness & anticipation on what would God do?What was He going say?What is He going to expose? Well, for me..I really & always wanted to hear from God on what He wants to say about my future.A confirmation to what He said 2 years ago at HUGE camp 2002.. It all seemed so uncertain..quite impossible & ...well..dont know what to do next..
But tonight, i asked God fo something different.Or Ps William said,tonight was a time of receiving the grace,anointing & replenishing of our own spirit. Tonight, was solely given to the HolySpirit.He pointed out the areas that im extreamly fond of which i have to give to God.One thing the HS showed that hit me..was that: to be called, u have to behave like a person who has been called.To be set apart from the rest. To be called into a royal priesthood & a partnership with the Father.. He also mentioned "Evangelism in worship.."... i wonder..
Nvm. *sigh*
We had our 1st class with our new chemistry lecturer.goodbye Ms.Aneela. *tsk tsk tsk* But to think of it..what a waste of 4 whole months..Had a SOLID 2 hours on tutorials & another 2 on titration.Chemistry class never felt sooo fulfilling 4 a long time..Tho we are goin to have to start from scratch..Chap 1 Atoms,Molecule & Stokiometry ..but..All the better rite? Get to build a stronger foundation..or am i just comforting myself?? I do appreciate the watever effort she has put into improving herself. But it just wasnt enuff. After having 1 full lecture on the 1st topic, is when we realised how far backwards and left behind we actually were. well, i did ask God for a new lecturer ASAP..so..thank you Lord!
I never really had the patience & consistancy to write a diary last time. there were ones that lasted me 1 year the most. Let alone a blog.But i guess cz blogs are more easily accessible..So,this time..i dare myself to keep this up until i break my last record 1 year..muahaha..sesat la..
Few weeks back when i stumbled accross my old diary..Reading the stuff i had written when i was in form 3.. haha it was hilarious..!~ Talk about childish ways.. Well, i guess it just shows how much you have grown over the years..maturing in spirit,soul & body.
Again,about presbytery night at MTI tonight.Ps David did things quite differently this time. He divided the whole congregation into 2 groups..MTI foreign participants on 1 side & WorldHarvestChurch members on the other. Ps William frm KK was to pray for us.WHC mems were also divided into : normal church members, M21cell ,M22cell and assistant pastors.
God was soooo very real.The air was different.It carried a certain supernatural kinda weight..It was God's very own presence together with the Holy Spirit hovering over the crowd.Those who were waiting to be prayed for, had similar gestures , an eagerness & anticipation on what would God do?What was He going say?What is He going to expose? Well, for me..I really & always wanted to hear from God on what He wants to say about my future.A confirmation to what He said 2 years ago at HUGE camp 2002.. It all seemed so uncertain..quite impossible & ...well..dont know what to do next..
But tonight, i asked God fo something different.Or Ps William said,tonight was a time of receiving the grace,anointing & replenishing of our own spirit. Tonight, was solely given to the HolySpirit.He pointed out the areas that im extreamly fond of which i have to give to God.One thing the HS showed that hit me..was that: to be called, u have to behave like a person who has been called.To be set apart from the rest. To be called into a royal priesthood & a partnership with the Father.. He also mentioned "Evangelism in worship.."... i wonder..
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Lazy la......
Sort of forgot to update the date&time in me brain..woke up not knowing what date,time,day it was.. talk about total blurrness..there you have it.Thank God 4 karen who reminded me that we were supposed to meet up with DrWong the college directors reguading the fund raiser we were planning to have in collaboration with the Deepa-raya celebrations..
Mahn..what?..its november already?? *ahhdoii* In view of what was lined up for the rest of the month, didn't even dare to think of it.October was rather full,confusing,& ...unfruitful..so barren...so dry.. But didnt God say that we will bare 'much fruit' in this season? So..what happened..God?
A rather senseless and stupid question to ask a great God? yupp.Why ask God when even a kid can answer that? But i guess, every minister would also have been through this stage before..
But as PsDavid once said.."God does not need a qualified/competent person, but only a heart that is simple,childlike, and most of all..a loyal heart & willing mind to work in"
he also said "Beware that the fruitfulness of God's word in our lives is yet detemined by our receptivity and teachability." in this context...an open heart & mind to actually grab hold of whatever mistakes God has corrected in us..and do not repeat it..
Afflictions should NOT cause us to "just fling of the load onto the road".God has already given us the correct amount of grace & strength to go through it and come out StroNGeR !!
But may the God of all grace,who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus,after you have suffered a while, may come out perfect,establish, and strengthen and settle you.." (1Peter5:10)
I truly believe that this is "the waiting" time. At the same time,while waiting in faith & patience.. "Patience forms the foundation & sustains faith until the real result is manifested.The has the courage to refuse satan's favourite lie >>" God's word is not working fo you.... :P "
Similaly to a marraige vow..Only under the pressure when nothing seems to be going right..can one test the true depth of ones faith in God..
Being a Christian...in these days especially..but.. to be willing to be broken,waiting in faith and in total surrender to God...is what He is most pleased about & will definately reward you in due time.
Mahn..what?..its november already?? *ahhdoii* In view of what was lined up for the rest of the month, didn't even dare to think of it.October was rather full,confusing,& ...unfruitful..so barren...so dry.. But didnt God say that we will bare 'much fruit' in this season? So..what happened..God?
A rather senseless and stupid question to ask a great God? yupp.Why ask God when even a kid can answer that? But i guess, every minister would also have been through this stage before..
But as PsDavid once said.."God does not need a qualified/competent person, but only a heart that is simple,childlike, and most of all..a loyal heart & willing mind to work in"
he also said "Beware that the fruitfulness of God's word in our lives is yet detemined by our receptivity and teachability." in this context...an open heart & mind to actually grab hold of whatever mistakes God has corrected in us..and do not repeat it..
Afflictions should NOT cause us to "just fling of the load onto the road".God has already given us the correct amount of grace & strength to go through it and come out StroNGeR !!
But may the God of all grace,who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus,after you have suffered a while, may come out perfect,establish, and strengthen and settle you.." (1Peter5:10)
I truly believe that this is "the waiting" time. At the same time,while waiting in faith & patience.. "Patience forms the foundation & sustains faith until the real result is manifested.The has the courage to refuse satan's favourite lie >>" God's word is not working fo you.... :P "
Similaly to a marraige vow..Only under the pressure when nothing seems to be going right..can one test the true depth of ones faith in God..
Being a Christian...in these days especially..but.. to be willing to be broken,waiting in faith and in total surrender to God...is what He is most pleased about & will definately reward you in due time.
Friday, October 29, 2004
On my 18th Birthday
Hmm..the clocked striked 12.00am on wednesday night. and my phone rang its first call for the day along with my first birthday wish frm my college friend.
After all those touching calls frm friends,i decided to quieten down and talk about LIFE with the One that gave it to me.Started of by listing down in my head,through the pass 18 years..what have i actually done for God. Yes, i have lived a good normal life,hadnt done anything really wrong,loved almost everyone i ever knew,never really hated anyone,been getting good grades,serving in the worship team,ushering,a cell leader..But God, why do you seem soooo far away recently?? even more as its my birthday..you SHOULD be here with me,now..blessing me..BT den.. i think i havent spent quality time with you also.. God,things have been going rather unsteadily and uncertainly. I dont really know what im doing at any point of the day. But for today, the only things i ask for, is wisdome,knowledge,understanding, and a closer walk with You everyday.. I want you to be the centre beam,the rock,the ruler of my life. Thank you God for everything..and most of all for giving your Son to save me. yeah .. me.
After all those touching calls frm friends,i decided to quieten down and talk about LIFE with the One that gave it to me.Started of by listing down in my head,through the pass 18 years..what have i actually done for God. Yes, i have lived a good normal life,hadnt done anything really wrong,loved almost everyone i ever knew,never really hated anyone,been getting good grades,serving in the worship team,ushering,a cell leader..But God, why do you seem soooo far away recently?? even more as its my birthday..you SHOULD be here with me,now..blessing me..BT den.. i think i havent spent quality time with you also.. God,things have been going rather unsteadily and uncertainly. I dont really know what im doing at any point of the day. But for today, the only things i ask for, is wisdome,knowledge,understanding, and a closer walk with You everyday.. I want you to be the centre beam,the rock,the ruler of my life. Thank you God for everything..and most of all for giving your Son to save me. yeah .. me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
what about grace?
As a few friends reminded me that my birthday was drawing near..*yes..i had to be reminded* Few things started sinking in...
For one..
How could i have lived all those 18 years..and actually surviving it.. at the rate this world is going... Seaching my mind 4 an answer was only in vain...Then He reminded me..it was all because of grace.
I wonder what would have happen to me.. let alone the world..if He hadnt been totally obedient to His Father's plan..
God, U gave your only son..to get Us back??
For one..
How could i have lived all those 18 years..and actually surviving it.. at the rate this world is going... Seaching my mind 4 an answer was only in vain...Then He reminded me..it was all because of grace.
I wonder what would have happen to me.. let alone the world..if He hadnt been totally obedient to His Father's plan..
God, U gave your only son..to get Us back??
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